Another Tale Of Deception?

[KevinHunt]

 What fascinates me about this tale is the fact that, first of all, you appear to be over the age of 30 and secondly, you are asking the advice of strangers. By that, I don't mean people that you may not be acquainted with, but rather people who are strange.   Present company excepted, of course. 

If you want a proper answer to this question, ask a Publican or a Barber. I can help, of course, but you'd have to at least order a pint first.

Edited November 28, 2009 by KevinHunt

[sassienie]

This OPs post has the same ring tones to it, as many of those newbie posts that have been appearing over the last year.

He gets a kick out of throwing in the bait and watching everyone bite, than the OP is heard of, no more.

Troll!

[KevinHunt]

This OPs post has the same ring tones to it, as many of those newbie posts that have been appearing over the last year.

He gets a kick out of throwing in the bait and watching everyone bite, than the OP is heard of, no more.

Troll!

If you run a pub you would realise that such people do exist. I used to believe that as people got older they got wiser. Then I opened a pub, and as a 30 year old I had 60 year old guys asking me for advice about their relationships etc. I thought 'This guy is as old as my father, why is he asking me for advice? He should know better!!'. But some people don't get wiser as they mature - espescially when it comes to Women. As B.B. King once lamented - 'It takes a young girl, to make an old man cry'. 

Edited November 28, 2009 by KevinHunt

[piercefilmlid]

Assuming you are not a troll, I have sent you a PM which I hope you find helpful.

Rgds

Edited November 28, 2009 by piercefilmlid

[pjclark1]

All relationships in Thailand must be viewed as a business relationship of sorts.

Ask yourself, "am I having fun" and "am I getting value for money"

(and maybe "is the sex frequent and good")

If the answer to both questions is "yes" then why worry, just enjoy yourself.

(maybe have an extra online chat or two yourself)

But never invest more in your business than you are prepared to lose.

Edited November 29, 2009 by pjclark1

[NancyL]

I would suggest that the OP consider the previous life experience of this woman. Is she educated and/or have some respectable trade or skill which has allowed her to earn her own way in the world? Or has she made her way by working in the "entertainment/hospitality" industry where her primary qualifications are her abilities to please men?

Yes, it could be an innocent hobby if she were, say, a teacher, nurse, travel agent, etc. Personally, though, I doubt her explanation of simply being addicted to the thrill of on-line flirting if she has a history of earning her way in life as say, a bar girl, even if it's been years since she worked in a bar. It could be that she has leveraged the skills she learned as a younger woman into a long term career that continues to involve manipulating men. If that's the case, then the answer is obvious. Keep her around if you enjoy if the sex and her company or toss her out if you were under the impression that the relationship was more than that. Just be sure to protect your finances and health if you have doubts about her yet want to keep her around.

Edited November 29, 2009 by NancyL

[Loaded]

I know two well-educated and intelligent foreign men who met a Thai girlfriend on those Internet dating sites. Both lost a lot of money and found out consequently that the women were pulling in cash from a number of 'customers' they had met on those sites. Both were fed stories about the background of the women that were just rubbish. I met the women and from my years and experience here, I could see immediately they were just old bargirls who had found a new way to find punters. When you first arrive here you have no idea about the range of different types of relationship and it's easy to be taken. My advice would be keep a distance for a long time until your are 100% sure her story is true and you've seen whether she's sincere or not. Meet her family and friends. Avoid women involved in night-time work as it really does lessen the chance of meeting a trustworthy partner.

Edited November 29, 2009 by Loaded

[mca]

1). Move on together, put the whole mess behind you, and keep your fingers crossed, or 2). Well, you know the answer to that...

I know you're not advocating option 1 Drew but if the OP takes that route I'd be genuinely willing to bet cold, hard cash it'd end in tears for the OP.

[mca]

All relationships in Thailand must be viewed as a business relationship of sorts.

How'd you come to that conclusion?

[zorro1]

Most guys would be shocked to learn that their never set a foot in a bar g/f would be on several websites. A lot are and heres how to catch them out.

1. go to thai google

2. type in her full name

3. be sitting down for the shock

my ex was on every single one. Hi Five, baboo, Thai love links, and 3 others I dont even remember. But then again we men also like a little play so keep it all balanced.

[pjclark1]

All relationships in Thailand must be viewed as a business relationship of sorts.

How'd you come to that conclusion?

By observing, listening and talking.

And I can add to that "...... a business relationship of sorts that no white man will ever profit from".

[trogers]

All relationships in Thailand must be viewed as a business relationship of sorts.

How'd you come to that conclusion?

By observing, listening and talking.

And I can add to that "...... a business relationship of sorts that no white man will ever profit from".

A relationship not of blood rests on either love or money. Do you think yours rest on love?

[Drew Aitch]

Every man with a pulse should know but 2 things regarding the fairer sex.

1. You CAN lose a lot of money chasing after women

2. But you will NEVER lose women chasing money!

The moral of that little lot is this; Every single one of us is going to die. A third of our lives we know nothing about because we're unconscious sleeping. Oh yeah, and we're a long time old (if we're lucky!). So if any phase of what bit of time we do have on planet earth is not treating us well, then maybe it's a good idea to move onto something that is, assuming it's doable of course. Heck, we owe that much to ourselves. Don't we?

Don't waste your time on a woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you!

Aitch

Edited November 29, 2009 by Drew Aitch

[Jonathanpattaya]

Parting is such sweet sorrow.

You know what to do.

[uptheos]

Slip out the back, Jack

Make a new plan, Stan

You don't need to be coy, Roy

Just listen to me

Hop on the bus, Gus

You don't need to discuss much

Just drop off the key, Lee

And get yourself free

[midgeley20]

Thanks to all posters (apart from the ones accusing me of being a troll- I most certainly am not, but as we know the net is full of fantasists, saddos, wackos and losers - so no offence taken). I’m not a newby, either to TV or LOS and I’ve done the bar girl in their 20s thing and thought a 45 year old in a good job would be a saner option. As to why anyone would post such an intimate confession, well for the anonymity and the hope that the kindness of strangers works even here – it did.

[Thaihog]

Confucius say,'you can take the girl out of the bar, but you cannot take bar out of the girl'...

[mca]

All relationships in Thailand must be viewed as a business relationship of sorts.

How'd you come to that conclusion?

By observing, listening and talking.

And I can add to that "...... a business relationship of sorts that no white man will ever profit from".

A relationship not of blood rests on either love or money. Do you think yours rest on love?

Certainly more than money. Well, come to think of it, yes. It rests on love.

Speaking quite frankly although my wife and her family aren't rich (as in buying each other Lamborghinis for their birthdays and wintering in Vale) they're about a million kilometres from poor and needing my money. Actually when I bought my last car and screwed up on the bank transfer until it cleared my FIL gave me the cash. Come to think of it maybe I married for money!

Edited November 29, 2009 by mca

[pubba]

I found myself in a similar situation as the OP recently.

But after calming down and thinking it through, I tried to put myself in her position.

She didn't know how genuine I was. I met her last year whilst on holidays and then stayed in touch, visited 4 or 5 times and now I have moved here to start a new life at 37 (she is 24).

She has been led on once before by another guy, and she put her life on hold and waited and waited for him to come back to Thailand. He came back and then did a runner. Met a younger/cuter girl at the airport and didn't even call her till after he went home again.

So, it's only natural for her to keep her options open until I showed her that I was genuine by moving here.

She didn't meet any of the horny pr*cks, but chatted to them a lot, traded photos etc and added a lot of them on facebook, plentyoffish, friendster etc etc...

She says they are 'just friends'. I have told her I don't like it, and she doesn't need them on the backburner anymore.

If she hasn't stopped her flirty chatting ways in another few weeks, I will finish the relationship.

She stopped for a while but I've noticed her back on MSN etc lately and doesn't like it when I look over her shoulder.

piercefilmlid - I would appreciate a copy of the pm that you sent to the OP, because I am in a similar situation.

To her credit: I have shown up here with very little money and no job lined up. She hasn't run off. She has even borrowed money from her family to help us get through till my job starts next year.

I'm not a good 'catch' by any stretch of the imagination. Overweight, broke, face like a dropped pie. But - we do enjoy each others company. We can spend hours just lounging around shooting the breeze. We like the same types of movies and play videogames together. We have made a lot of long term plans for the future. Physically she has been the best partner that I have had, and this is a great source of pleasure and happiness for me! The feelings seem to be very mutual.

I've been burned by 2 Thai girls before this. My current girl has never asked for money, gold or a new mobile phone etc. I've spent maybe 10,000 baht on her in the last year or so. Many of my expat friends have told me she is a 'keeper'.

But this bloody online flirting bugs me..!

[orang37]

if platitudes could change love's attitudes,

or solecisms mollify loves' loss' ingratitudes,

could be no one left except for beatitudes:

who'd float angelicly at astounding altitude

the Orang in us loves every one of you whole-heartedly; the human has his doubts.

~o:37;

p.s. yes, the quatrain above is 'original' : as is everything within and without ~o37, and as is everything within and without the multitude within ... You.

Edited November 29, 2009 by orang37

[mca]

orang mate. Roll another one of whatever you're smoking and remember, Puff, Puff, Give ok?

[trogers]

I found myself in a similar situation as the OP recently.

But after calming down and thinking it through, I tried to put myself in her position.

She didn't know how genuine I was. I met her last year whilst on holidays and then stayed in touch, visited 4 or 5 times and now I have moved here to start a new life at 37 (she is 24).

She has been led on once before by another guy, and she put her life on hold and waited and waited for him to come back to Thailand. He came back and then did a runner. Met a younger/cuter girl at the airport and didn't even call her till after he went home again.

So, it's only natural for her to keep her options open until I showed her that I was genuine by moving here.

She didn't meet any of the horny pr*cks, but chatted to them a lot, traded photos etc and added a lot of them on facebook, plentyoffish, friendster etc etc...

She says they are 'just friends'. I have told her I don't like it, and she doesn't need them on the backburner anymore.

If she hasn't stopped her flirty chatting ways in another few weeks, I will finish the relationship.

She stopped for a while but I've noticed her back on MSN etc lately and doesn't like it when I look over her shoulder.

piercefilmlid - I would appreciate a copy of the pm that you sent to the OP, because I am in a similar situation.

To her credit: I have shown up here with very little money and no job lined up. She hasn't run off. She has even borrowed money from her family to help us get through till my job starts next year.

I'm not a good 'catch' by any stretch of the imagination. Overweight, broke, face like a dropped pie. But - we do enjoy each others company. We can spend hours just lounging around shooting the breeze. We like the same types of movies and play videogames together. We have made a lot of long term plans for the future. Physically she has been the best partner that I have had, and this is a great source of pleasure and happiness for me! The feelings seem to be very mutual.

I've been burned by 2 Thai girls before this. My current girl has never asked for money, gold or a new mobile phone etc. I've spent maybe 10,000 baht on her in the last year or so. Many of my expat friends have told me she is a 'keeper'.

But this bloody online flirting bugs me..!

Seems such a problem arises because both you and the girl co-hab together.

I dated my thai (and first and only) wife for 3 years before we got engaged. Even after the engagement, we did not stay together until our wedding night which, was almost another 3 years later. That was almost 15 years ago, and 21 years when we first dated...

Now we are an old couple still holding hands when walking together.

[slapout]

Take the girl on a unannounced (wake up and tell her to pack) week long lake cruise (no internet). After not being able to inform chat room mates??? of plans and no contact for a week, If she is working a string of punters they are going to be angry /suspicious. Other suggestions of leaving etc may work if that is what you want. Surprised no one suggested breaking her hands.

[orang37]

orang mate. Roll another one of whatever you're smoking and remember, Puff, Puff, Give ok?

Sawasdee Khrup, Khun MCA,

We relish the brotherly spirit of playful teasing in your post, but since there has been a plethora of posts which hint that Orang37 is writing while in some form of "altered state," perhaps induced by chemicals or herbs, we do wish to lay those fantasies down for a nice siesta on love's mattress (a brand-new extra-springy model with special lumbar support for cavorting in every yab-yumish sexual contortion described in the sacred text, the Omni-Angle-Bananarma, with or without bed-mites).

Orang37, the human container, the meat-bucket, the bag-of-bones, does not smoke anything; is virtually allergic to alcohol, nor does he ingest any chemicals except caffeine, soy milk, bananas, eggplant, eggs, sugar, and such. His human mind has been making stories, poems, and strange images since he was only a wee trogolodyte.

Unfortunately the death of his taste-buds due to radiation has made one of the altered states he used to enjoy so much : eating spicy Thai food : impossible.

This is not to imply any judgement whatsoever on anyone else who chooses to self-modify using whatever, and we are happy to say we really love what we are able to eat ! And Caffeine : oh most excellent of entheogens !

best, ~o:37;

[Sojourner]

Most Thai women are really dirt poor and even if they have a good job their families lay back and wait for her to send them money. Most never evolve out of the physiological needs level (Abraham Maslow's pyramid) or even the safety needs level so having a list of possible fall-backs make sense to her. She may never need it but she's thinking she might. JMHO from ten years in LOS.

[sassienie]

Don’t you guys get it?

This OP is a troll.

He creates several new ThaiVisa memberships within a month; throws in the bait, hoping everyone will bite, than disappears into obscurity.

Over the months I have become to recognise his format, mostly the same themes just that he changes the situation slightly.

[KevinHunt]

Don't you guys get it?

This OP is a troll.

He creates several new ThaiVisa memberships within a month; throws in the bait, hoping everyone will bite, than disappears into obscurity.

Over the months I have become to recognise his format, mostly the same themes just that he changes the situation slightly.

Harmless fun, nonetheless. Easily ignored too, if you choose.

[pjclark1]

wouldn't the mods just ban that ip addy?

if it were a troll.

Still, no reason to dump a girl just because she is unfaithful, if we all did that it would be a real pain.

[midgeley20]

Don't you guys get it?

This OP is a troll.

He creates several new ThaiVisa memberships within a month; throws in the bait, hoping everyone will bite, than disappears into obscurity.

Over the months I have become to recognise his format, mostly the same themes just that he changes the situation slightly.

Harmless fun, nonetheless. Easily ignored too, if you choose.

He creates several new ThaiVisa memberships within a month; throws in the bait, hoping everyone will bite, than disappears into obscurity.

A glance at my profile details will show I've been a member over two years. Sloppy lazy and hurtful

[Drew Aitch]

Don’t you guys get it? This OP is a troll.

I probably shouldn't say this being in the web business and all that, but quite often a sleepy forum somewhere will get shaken up and reinvigorated by its owner, who in some cases has kept a bunch of member personas going for years, for the sole purpose of keeping his baby ticking.

Forums, and especially new ones, can be bloody hard work and a thankless task a lot of the time, but done well and managed correctly, some forum owners have invigorated threads by literally chatting to themselves until others join in – he he he!

I doubt Thaivisa needs to troll its own business models as there are so many members now to keep the banter breathing, but take heed! You might be having a lively online debate somewhere at some time with Dave, Julie, Sam, Eddy, Haans, Yolonda, and Becky, who are all probably one of the same

Aitch