Now, I'm a bit of an exhibitionist- I admit it- after all, I've been writing the running story of my ex- or not- for over a year now. I've admitted to doing stupid and silly things at times (for example, coming to teach in Thailand )

Recently, though, I became aware that a certain friend- a close friend- was writing a website. On this site I suddenly recognized myself in various stories. These stories are for the most part true, and to his credit he removes most identifying details. However, a trend emerged: whenever details were altered, added, omitted, or fictionalized, it was always in such a way as to make "me" (my character in his story) look worse- more stupid, naive, selfish, or ill-intentioned than I really was in the situation.

The stories are fiction. It doesn't matter that the facts are wrong. But I believe his pattern of alterations in the writing clearly shows his point of view (regarding me) with 100% accuracy.

It's disturbing to me for a few reasons. One is the obvious: someone that I've told many secrets and been relatively unguarded around is now writing these things on his website. Secondly, there's the disturbing revelation that he seems to regard me with not a little condescension. Third, I'm disappointed in him for using this website (which he has not told me about) to pump up his ego not only by telling the stories about me, but by inventing details to make me look worse and himself better by comparison.

It's been preying on my mind for some time now. Should I confront him about it? Should I say nothing and continue to monitor the situation? It seems difficult to maintain the same kind of friendship with him; I certainly don't feel the same way about talking to him now.

Appreciate any advice or thoughts.

"Steven"

What's the website address? Without reading it, its hard to say whether or not you are over-reacting and being hyper-sensitive.

I recall when I commented on your self-referential story you got rather snotty !

How do you know that he's exaggerating for artistic license? Our perceptions of ourselves often differ from those of our catty friends.

^Yes, I was a bit snotty, but be fair- you had been a bit bitchy (whose post ended "ho, hum," after all?)

You failed to point out that to make the objective comparison, you'd also have to know more about the "real" me, something I'm no more likely to go along with than providing my friend's website!

I'm afraid I'm just not interested in anyone else's opinion about whether my judgement is accurate in this case or not, and sorry if that's your only interest in the thread. I'm certain enough to stand by what I said in my OP. I'd love to hear advice about what I should do *assuming* that I'm correct in the essentials, though.

"Steven"

Maybe confront him. saying...

"Stop writing about me, you jackass."

He'll accuse you of being a Drama Queen,

So that won't work, and he'll write about you even more.

So better still is to ignore him. Its hard to do that with people. Its human nature to want the satisfaction of the 'last word', (I know I do). So vanish from his life.

No responses, no explanations, no apologies. No 2nd chances.

Jean Cocteau always extolled the virtues of being 'invisible', metaphorically speaking, (though he always seemed to me to be a complete publicity hound!)

^Your advice is sound, and something I had considered. It's sad, though, because he has been a fairly good friend- helping me out pretty often when I've been in a pinch of some kind.

From my recollection of his diaries, which I read at least 20 years ago, I recall Cocteau also wanted to be known as 'Le Prince Frivole' ('The Frivolous Prince') , whereby he would take nothing in life too seriously.

So choose your JC !!

It's been preying on my mind for some time now.  Should I confront him about it? 

Absolutely! That's the only way you'll clear the air and get it off your mind.

Careful if your friend is Thai though. Have to use a whole different set of politics in that situation.

Start your own blog and let it all out!