Thai Women Are Great!

[cognos]

my take on farang/thai relationships is that it is definitely based "on taking care" which means you have to have the means to do so,and if you do/can, then love will be returned to you for the taking care.However should you fall on hard times or go broke and your better half and here family are poor then she will "have" to move on as the thai govt. do not provide for down and outs like the west does.

Correct. But isn't it an aweful reality? To hel_l with one of those"relationships." Isn't your partner supposed to support you when you're going through the hard times!

Personally, i prefer to stay single here and bar fine as and when it suits me.

Total clarity

thats okay, but many of us do that for a short or long while.. and after a while feel kind of ..well..UNSATISFIED..semi-depressed..unfufilled..feeling sorry for them..wanting to care for someone beyond short time

signed: character type under 40?

[cognos]

Thai women are no different than any other women in the world,there are some minor cultural differences but nothing significant.

Please allow me to offer a very different opinion.

Thai women offer good, bad, and in-between.

But American, British, Canadian, Aussie women?

Take a random sample of any of those, and see what you get in the way of attitude.

See if you get any of the love and caring described in many posts on this thread.

Compared to Thai women, you'll find almost nothing worth keeping in that lot.

-- Oneman

Chiangmai

.

Your opinion would be moronic even for a five year old

..but attitude equals altitude, and for many of us, Thai women are right up there close to heaven

[NALAK]

Thai women are no different than any other women in the world,there are some minor cultural differences but nothing significant.

Please allow me to offer a very different opinion.

Thai women offer good, bad, and in-between.

But American, British, Canadian, Aussie women?

Take a random sample of any of those, and see what you get in the way of attitude.

See if you get any of the love and caring described in many posts on this thread.

Compared to Thai women, you'll find almost nothing worth keeping in that lot.

-- Oneman

Chiangmai

.

Your opinion would be moronic even for a five year old

..but attitude equals altitude, and for many of us, Thai women are right up there close to heaven

sad to see people posting such anti western ladies comments, i for one love my mum..shame so many of you think of them in such a bad light.

[NALAK]

I think one of the big questions there should be in this topic is -- are we talking about bar girls or real Thais. The former are in a business. The latter are just people.

The bar girls are people as well; at least, the ones I know are. They're also real Thais. Passports or ID cards and everything.

Please, no racial profiling or other stereotypes.

SC

(1) are bar girls a race now, so easy for people to keep dropping out the race issue, (2) how can you racially profile a bar girl. i doubt anybody really knows a bar girl, i speak Thai and its funny to hear what they are really saying about their farang friends. alot of bar girls dont consider them selves Thai either. just my experience of managing 40 of the little darlings.

most real self supporting Thai girls would not touch us with a barge pole.

Numbers added to identify specific points being addressed:

(1) No; hence the term "or other stereotypes"

(2) By ascribing specific racial characteristics to them, assuming details of their background based on generalisations. I'm interested to hear that they do not consider themselves Thai. What ?race / nationality? do they consider themselves, as an alternative?

Query by way of vocabulary improvement:

Does the term "bar girl" specifically mean the girls employed by the bar, or does it also apply to the freelancers, like in Soi Seven Beer Garden? For the Moderators' benefit, I mean that by way of lexicography, and not as a specific of any particular trade.

Thanks very much

SC

quick reply b4 Boo gets really hacked off. 1 if its a no why write it? 2 ever heard of Laos, but they tell the punters thai because thats what they want to hear, kymer also. maybe its just the ones i worked with that said that. plenty of web sites that go into great detail about your other question.

[cognos]

i personally dont think they are great, do people really think they find older western guys attractive. courtships before living together are usually days not months. they see it as a way of improving their way of life and their families. i doubt many will get to silver wedding status. for a real true partner i would have a western lady anytime. just my opinion OP did ask.

I guess there are a lot of exceptions to the rule. I courted my future wife for 18 months, and she did touch me, finally, and not with a barge pole.

As for western women, I was one who was not attracted to them any more once I "discovered" Thailand. However, this too will pass, as it has, and intellegent heads have prevailed..watching Melrose Place cured me.. ( btw.. there are probably many western farang women in LOS who, after being with Thai men, stop looking at western men too for a while).

..and yes, I have seen the slighly underweight farang 50 something year old on holiday with his slightly overweight older looking than him 50 something farang wife, he looking at Thai ladies in a certain way, and given the evil eye and a scolding by the good wife. It is funny and sad at the same time( if a guy has an ounce of empathy). I would not want to be a fly on the wall back at their hotel room.

..one thing I really like about my wife is how quickly she gets over being upset or angry..but maybe this a trait of all women, as opposed to an exlusive Thai habit.

[StreetCowboy]

8>< SNIP NESTED QUOTES DELETED ><8

The bar girls are people as well; at least, the ones I know are. They're also real Thais. Passports or ID cards and everything.

Please, no racial profiling or other stereotypes.

SC

(1) are bar girls a race now, so easy for people to keep dropping out the race issue, (2) how can you racially profile a bar girl. i doubt anybody really knows a bar girl, i speak Thai and its funny to hear what they are really saying about their farang friends. alot of bar girls dont consider them selves Thai either. just my experience of managing 40 of the little darlings.

most real self supporting Thai girls would not touch us with a barge pole.

Numbers added to identify specific points being addressed:

(1) No; hence the term "or other stereotypes"

(2) By ascribing specific racial characteristics to them, assuming details of their background based on generalisations. I'm interested to hear that they do not consider themselves Thai. What ?race / nationality? do they consider themselves, as an alternative?

Query by way of vocabulary improvement:

Does the term "bar girl" specifically mean the girls employed by the bar, or does it also apply to the freelancers, like in 8>< specifics ><8? For the Moderators' benefit, I mean that by way of lexicography, and not as a specific of any particular trade.

Thanks very much

SC

quick reply b4 Boo gets really hacked off. 1 if its a no why write it? 2 ever heard of Laos, but they tell the punters thai because thats what they want to hear, kymer also. maybe its just the ones i worked with that said that. plenty of web sites that go into great detail about your other question.

1. The first posting in this thread was in the context of posts denigrating alternately Thai ladies and Western ladies, and some suggestion of 'Thai-Chinese' racial profiling, which often leads on to the 'Isaan-bashing'; that was the basis for mentioning racial stereotyping, and then the 'other stereotypes' meaning the bar girl stereotypes.

2. Noted.

Other question: Sorry, it was just a dictionary query really. On this forum, should I take 'bar girl' to include only hostesses employed by the establishment, or freelance hostesses as well? I'd always assumed both categories, but I stand to be corrected...

SC

[beerdog]

my ex sister-in-law was Thai. and she was a "gold digger". She would had many excuses to get money back to her family. for divorce, sure another payment to go. then she disappear after divorce only shows up once a year for her kids' birthday at their school and tells her kids how hard she work so she doesnt have time to see them.

When she come to visit her kids her visiting always like "surprise" to our family..she alway come whenever she wants..

Never ask us if we are busy or ....

I know not all the Thai women like this, but she is..

[Starlifter]

Meet my wife in the US. We dated for 5 years and have been married for 15 (so 20 year total). I feel I've been blessed. I've dated other Asian women before in fact my wife joked that I was trying to cover all the Asian countries. Funny thing she was probably right. My mia isn't the jealous type which possibly is one of the major reason were still together. An excellent cook I think the happiness through the stomach saying is correct. I'm happy to visit her family in LOS as often as I can and possible will live there at some point in the future if only for 6 months at a time. Is it all perfect no but I'm happy with my Isaan girl!

[phetaroi]

I think one of the big questions there should be in this topic is -- are we talking about bar girls or real Thais. The former are in a business. The latter are just people.

So the other are "just people" The bar girl is not a real Thai? Looks like there could be a major discrepancy in ones thanking.

I admit that I was never much for bars, but back when I first visited Thailand in 1987, I did my share. The Pat Pong scene. There were primarily two types of customers...the buyers (and I mean that literally) and the sellers (and I mean that literally). And I didn't find it that much different than a singles bar back in the States. The door would open, the conversation level with drop down a notch while lots of the buyers and sellers would look to see who came in...better looking? Richer looking? More high-classed looking? All I can say is, let the buyer beware.

I now married to a wonderful government worker with a great job. We don't drink, we don't smoke. I'm very welcome at the home upcountry, just as family are always welcome here in Bangkok to stay with us. There's no mistrust necessary. I'm never asked for money, and when I try to give it voluntarily it's usually turned down flat.

That's not to say that there aren't some wonderful people who go to the bars. There are good and bad people (and everything in between) everywhere. And yes, bar girls are Thai, too. But they are also not the average Thai...unless all you've experienced in Pat Pong and Soi Cowboy. In reading this forum for well over a year now, I've read lots of horror stories about farang men being "taken" for lots of money from their Thai wives and families, or hellish relationships full of jealousy. And guess what...in almost all of those horror stories what's in the girl's past? She was a bar girl.

[MAJIC]

Well Cognos they are a risky business,but by heck the dont half give good value for money.

[phetaroi]

To the OP yes your 100% correct. Thai women by and large make great partners, just follow rules of common sense. If your looking to marry do so around your level, try for someone with a similar socio economic level and age bracket. If you can do that you cut out a HUGE amount of potential problems right there. And unless you would marry a whore from what ever country your from, don't do it here. If you can just keep those 2 simple rules in play your well on your way to a wonderful relationship.

Nice to see some wisdom in this thread.

[phetaroi]

I think one of the big questions there should be in this topic is -- are we talking about bar girls or real Thais. The former are in a business. The latter are just people.

The bar girls are people as well; at least, the ones I know are. They're also real Thais. Passports or ID cards and everything.

Please, no racial profiling or other stereotypes.

Since when is "bar girl" a race?

[a2396]

I think one of the big questions there should be in this topic is -- are we talking about bar girls or real Thais. The former are in a business. The latter are just people.

So the other are "just people" The bar girl is not a real Thai? Looks like there could be a major discrepancy in ones thanking.

I admit that I was never much for bars, but back when I first visited Thailand in 1987, I did my share. The Pat Pong scene. There were primarily two types of customers...the buyers (and I mean that literally) and the sellers (and I mean that literally). And I didn't find it that much different than a singles bar back in the States. The door would open, the conversation level with drop down a notch while lots of the buyers and sellers would look to see who came in...better looking? Richer looking? More high-classed looking? All I can say is, let the buyer beware.

I now married to a wonderful government worker with a great job. We don't drink, we don't smoke. I'm very welcome at the home upcountry, just as family are always welcome here in Bangkok to stay with us. There's no mistrust necessary. I'm never asked for money, and when I try to give it voluntarily it's usually turned down flat.

That's not to say that there aren't some wonderful people who go to the bars. There are good and bad people (and everything in between) everywhere. And yes, bar girls are Thai, too. But they are also not the average Thai...unless all you've experienced in Pat Pong and Soi Cowboy. In reading this forum for well over a year now, I've read lots of horror stories about farang men being "taken" for lots of money from their Thai wives and families, or hellish relationships full of jealousy. And guess what...in almost all of those horror stories what's in the girl's past? She was a bar girl.

I never messed with bar girls myself, except for a few short trips to BKK in the early days. I think everyone knows what's going on in such a scene. The girls are available for a price. There are no secrets about it and they usually don't give it away for free. However, I would not compare somewhere like soi Cowboy to a singles bar back in USA. Girls in singles bars in USA are not generally available for hire, at an agreed price for the night. As for other types of women, I don't see many so called normal Thai women, who may be gainfully employed, and are of prime marriage age (20 something), having a lot of interest in Farangs. I think they worry that involvement with a farang will spoil their chances in getting a proper Thai husband, which I think is accurate. That leaves a pool of non-bar girl/entertainment venue women, who have little education and little or no adequate employment. Such women are more than plentiful and tend to be the ones fixated on a money arrangement. In any case, the whole concept of marriage here is one based on money, starting with demands for sin sod. This, coupled with inadequate communication due to language problems and the wife's family obligations above her husband's, makes for a shaky deal in my opinion.

[NALAK]

Numbers added to identify specific points being addressed:

(1) No; hence the term "or other stereotypes"

(2) By ascribing specific racial characteristics to them, assuming details of their background based on generalisations. I'm interested to hear that they do not consider themselves Thai. What ?race / nationality? do they consider themselves, as an alternative?

Query by way of vocabulary improvement:

Does the term "bar girl" specifically mean the girls employed by the bar, or does it also apply to the freelancers, like in 8>< specifics ><8? For the Moderators' benefit, I mean that by way of lexicography, and not as a specific of any particular trade.

Thanks very much

SC

quick reply b4 Boo gets really hacked off. 1 if its a no why write it? 2 ever heard of Laos, but they tell the punters thai because thats what they want to hear, kymer also. maybe its just the ones i worked with that said that. plenty of web sites that go into great detail about your other question.

1. The first posting in this thread was in the context of posts denigrating alternately Thai ladies and Western ladies, and some suggestion of 'Thai-Chinese' racial profiling, which often leads on to the 'Isaan-bashing'; that was the basis for mentioning racial stereotyping, and then the 'other stereotypes' meaning the bar girl stereotypes.

2. Noted.

Other question: Sorry, it was just a dictionary query really. On this forum, should I take 'bar girl' to include only hostesses employed by the establishment, or freelance hostesses as well? I'd always assumed both categories, but I stand to be corrected...

SC

i could have answered it how i see it, but sometimes the mods say its breaking forum rules to discuss this sort of thing, and will slap you or me with a an official warning. just had one dont want another, hence the answer. a lot of the girls also dont speak Thai as such when talking to each other. a lot of them from issan will say they are Laos. but when speaking in bars know saying Thai is more appealing than Laos, although technically of course they are Thai.

[NALAK]

i would love to hear the woman's side of the story, alot of the so called males do nothing but bitch.

Maybe we could have a 'Men in Thailand' section to the forum then you wouldn't need to read our sad tales of woe.

.... and Boo would never have to waste 10 minutes of her life again ......

And can everyone stop being unpleasent about ladies who work in bars.

I have always found bar staff in Thailand to be very friendly, and always helpful with my education (learning to speak, read and write Thai)

Before everyone jumps on me, can I just state that I am not a customer and never buy lady drinks (forbidden by wife, 'buying a drink is the start of negotiations, you don't do it.').

But I often sit and chat or do my homework and have made some quite good friends.

wow i bet they love you, no lady drinks but you go in their to learn from them. as a matter of interest would you socialise with prostitutes in your own country and call them friends?. i sit and talk to bar girls but always buy them drinks, its their job, they get a cut of the drink and usually have a target of having to get so many drinks per month or their salary is cut. do them a favour buy them a drink as payment for your tuition fees.. start of negotiations, how do you work that one out. forbidden by wife, grow a set of balls other wise every thing will be forbidden.

[fletchsmile]

I've seen lots of success stories in Thailand. The spectacular nature of some of the failures trends to attract more attention though - hence the common misconceptions, generalisations and negative stereotypes.

I'm very happy with my Thai wife - she's great I love her to bits. Not perfect like many seem to be on here - but then again neither am I We've had our ups and downs like most couples. As times go by, trust deepens, life gets better and our relationship even stronger. We rarely argue, although in the early days there used to be some cultural "differences" that needed "working thru".

One last comment though: in a decade or so, she's been the only Thai lady I've ever really seriously thought of marrying. Even though a lot of Thai ladies are great, I wouldn't necessarily want to marry them. When in Singapore or Indonesia or some of the other countries in Asia I actually encountered more "marriage potential" if I looked to spending the rest of my life with them.

Today, I wouldn't swap her for the world. When you put the kids into the picture, they probably are most of what's important to me in the world anyway. Not unlike my parents really, when you asked them what really matters in life and their relationship...

[cognos]

phetaroi, for some..they come to LOS, just to race to the bar for the girls!

because: because they are so hot and spicy mak mak, and delicious

[StreetCowboy]

phetaroi, for some..they come to LOS, just to race to the bar for the girls!

because: because they are so hot and spicy mak mak, and delicious

Oh, happy days!

Suvarnabhumi was better than Don Muang in some respects because with my long legs I could get past the rest of the plane on the long walk to immigration, and be first through. Plane to pub including checking in at hotel in an hour was excellent going. I'd forgotten the bar girl race.

SC