April 25, 201015 yr I am sure we all do these from time to time; here's what happened last night: Many months, I have had problems with rats (mouse) living in the walls of the office. They creep out everynight and eat paper, piss & shit all over the joint. I have tried baiting them, they get smart after the first one or two are caught, glue traps, poison, everything - except a cat. Last night I managed to catch a stray tom cat, the light bulb start flashing, leave the cat in the office overnight to catch the rats. Great idea, and I even left a bowl of water for pootty cat to refreshen himself after decimating the rat population. .................... FF to this morning: I had completely forgotten about leaving the tom cat in the office, so when I opened the door, it was a complete <deleted> moment. There was a horrendous howling sound coming from one side of the room, pictures, candles, filing cabinet, three chinese statues (aparently very valuable ), a number of stationary items all over the floor, and a cat suspended by it's hind leg in the venitian blinds about six foot off the ground howling it's ass off. Looked like a bomb had gone off. Of all the truly dumb ideas.... Anyone else got any to share?
April 25, 201015 yr Thanks for my morning laugh, Soundman. I can just visualize it. It reminds me of this story... How to Give a Cat a Pill 1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. 2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. 3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. 4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten. 5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse in from the garden. 6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously. 7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail. Get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later. 8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw 9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans and drink one beer to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap. 10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band. 11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom. 12. Call fire department to retrieve the dam_n cat from the top of the tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap. 13. Using heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed, tie the little *%^'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour two pints of water down throat to wash pill down. 14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room. Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table. 15. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hel_l and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters. How To Give A Dog A Pill 1. Wrap it in bacon. 2. Toss it in the air.
April 26, 201015 yr Good story. As an aside, contact the Thai Government about the infestation problem. They will negotiate with the rodents about their removal and all will be well.....
April 26, 201015 yr Hilarious.. :D You might try Patsycat for advice. She can probably find you a little used flute from an obscure Swiss village.
April 26, 201015 yr Made my day soundman, what trick are you going to pull for tommorrow? I'm a little disappointed theres no 'youtube' video to accompany the story.
April 26, 201015 yr Nice one Soundman I would never thought of catching a stray cat to take care of our rats (but maybe that's a good thing ) Thanks for the laugh!
April 26, 201015 yr Author Haven't seen any little corpses lying around, however, I didn't see any mouse crap this morning, either. As soon as I locate/retrieve my digital camera (from the last person who borrowed it) , I'll post a pic. of the venitians. Funny as. (pooooor cat, hasn't been seen since )
April 26, 201015 yr What eejit would enclose a cat in a room? Poor thing was probably suspended there all night!!
April 27, 201015 yr We all know how smart cats are, right ? Truth is the feline had simply established a superior observation position from which to spring "commando" style on any unsuspecting rodents.
April 27, 201015 yr Many months, I have had problems with rats (mouse) living in the walls of the office. They creep out everynight and eat paper, piss & shit ..... It sounds like your office is the toilet - how can you let the mice eat paper, piss and shit?? Downright cruelty to poor dumb ceatures, in my opinion.
April 27, 201015 yr We all know how smart cats are, right ? Truth is the feline had simply established a superior observation position from which to spring "commando" style on any unsuspecting rodents. No, no, no Sibey. Have another read of Sounder's post. Clearly, the mice have cornered the cat and got him up to the venetians where they've secured him by his tail. They've then run around the place creating a mess and breaking bric-a-brac so that the cat would cop the blame and lose one more of his rapidly decreasing number of remaining lives. Clever little baskets, those rodents...
April 28, 201015 yr Another good chuckle for the week, ranks up there with the poster who built a house for 12 million on wife's land and she informed him his rent, to be paid to her, for her house on her land will be 40,000/month. At least the cat in Soundman's case only cost a nominal amount.
April 28, 201015 yr OK - photo of venetians - cat was caught in the middle of the damage. tooo fekkin funny mrsound, when I saw that pic I just really laughed out loud, of course you deserve this because you keep such ugly little statues . i was going to post a copy of the 'cat' song by kevin bloody wilson, but im sure you know how it goes .
April 28, 201015 yr Another good chuckle for the week, ranks up there with the poster who built a house for 12 million on wife's land and she informed him his rent, to be paid to her, for her house on her land will be 40,000/month. At least the cat in Soundman's case only cost a nominal amount. yeah, soundmans house only cost 10 mil and his wife only charges 39,000 per month. What a load of <deleted> that thread is. Really, when dikkheads like that create threads you can only wish they got electric shocks from the keyboard or something
April 28, 201015 yr Another good chuckle for the week, ranks up there with the poster who built a house for 12 million on wife's land and she informed him his rent, to be paid to her, for her house on her land will be 40,000/month. At least the cat in Soundman's case only cost a nominal amount. yeah, soundmans house only cost 10 mil and his wife only charges 39,000 per month. What a load of <deleted> that thread is. Really, when dikkheads like that create threads you can only wish they got electric shocks from the keyboard or something The electric shocks were applied in childhood. It accounts for a lot of weird postings on a lot of sites.
April 28, 201015 yr No, no, no Sibey. Have another read of Sounder's post. Clearly, the mice have cornered the cat and got him up to the venetians where they've secured him by his tail. They've then run around the place creating a mess and breaking bric-a-brac so that the cat would cop the blame and lose one more of his rapidly decreasing number of remaining lives. Clever little baskets, those rodents... I'm sure I saw the whole thing on a Tom 'n' Jerry episode.
May 1, 201015 yr Author This is just getting better & better. The rats are back in droves, so I have bought some rat poison. The shop has run out of the usually dependable ARS rat poison, however, they had another brand, which comes in big blue tablets. The rats have been hoeing into it for the last couple of hours and are now running around the joint like they are on speed. Up and down the conduit, across the floor, through the sofa..... What am I going to do???
May 1, 201015 yr This is just getting better & better. The rats are back in droves, so I have bought some rat poison. The shop has run out of the usually dependable ARS rat poison, however, they had another brand, which comes in big blue tablets. The rats have been hoeing into it for the last couple of hours and are now running around the joint like they are on speed. Up and down the conduit, across the floor, through the sofa..... What am I going to do??? They got the Viagra mixed up with the rat poison.
May 1, 201015 yr Remove the statuettes, raise the venetians and get a bigger cat. (I think you'll find the poison will do the job if you give it a few days.)
May 2, 201015 yr This is just getting better & better. The rats are back in droves, so I have bought some rat poison. The shop has run out of the usually dependable ARS rat poison, however, they had another brand, which comes in big blue tablets. The rats have been hoeing into it for the last couple of hours and are now running around the joint like they are on speed. Up and down the conduit, across the floor, through the sofa..... What am I going to do??? Upon contemplation of the situation and possible predicament. 1.. These sound like Japanese rats, probably jumped ship 2.. Continue to observe, even document behavior if possible 3.. When you hear a high pitched chorus of Banzai 4.. Run like he.l 5.. Call exterminators before you get outflanked 6.. Keep us posted, we worry about you at times.
May 6, 201015 yr (I think you'll find the poison will do the job if you give it a few days.) My girlfriend tried this and yes they died, we (meaning me) then spent the next several weeks dragging dead and decomposing rat carcases out of every nook and cranny in, under and on top of our house. P1p who used to be a mod on ThaiVisa has a friend who is a very experienced snake handler. He lives in a wood house surrounded by rice fields and was being inundated with rice rats. He found a 3 metre cobra and stuffed it in the roof cavity. It decimated the rat problem but after a couple of weeks he couldn't hear it anymore so decided to check if it was still in residence. Carefully he climbed up a ladder and lifted the roof access panel. Looked to the sides and front for the snake then turned his head to the rear where the now very sated cobra was coiled up about a foot behind him. He froze (snakes see movement and anything still disappears from their sight. The cobra unwrapped itself and wrapped around his shoulders and then climbed down his body onto the floor and left via the front door. His wife was watching TV and sat there stunned by the sight. He closed the hatch, put away the ladder and sat back down without saying a word. In my roof I have diamond pythons and will see if I can find a photo of one I found a couple of weeks ago. Found the photo and attached below. This is one of about three I have in or near my house. One lives in my roof and another in the tree above the chicken pen. They come down and feed on the rats and mice that eat the chook food. CB
May 6, 201015 yr This is just getting better & better. The rats are back in droves, so I have bought some rat poison. The shop has run out of the usually dependable ARS rat poison, however, they had another brand, which comes in big blue tablets. The rats have been hoeing into it for the last couple of hours and are now running around the joint like they are on speed. Up and down the conduit, across the floor, through the sofa..... What am I going to do??? Rats by their very nature are well, rats !!! Bribe one and he will turn on his mates in an instant telling you where they are and giving family members details. Armed with the family tree, death threats will surely work and they will leave. Other than this poison or hit them with a spade.
May 6, 201015 yr True rat tale. Many years ago early in the morning in Mong Kok ( rough area of Hong Kong ) I saw the biggest rat I'd ever seen waddle into the middle of the main road ( Nathan Road for those who know ) and give birth to a steaming group of disgusting pink, blind ratlets. As luck would have it, a butcher in his filthy vest, flip-flops and shorts, fag in mouth, was peddling his bike down the road loaded with meat for the morning market. He stopped his bike, parked it and worked across to the baby rats and proceeded to stamp them all to death with his bare feet ( obviously his favourite flip-flops or just enjoyed the texture ). After he'd finished he calmly wiped the gore from his bare legs with the towel that was covering the meat and whistled off to the market. Had a great deal of problems with meat dishes for some time.
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