Why Am I Having Such A Naff Time In The Place I Love?

[KeyserSoze01]

What a bunch of <deleted> idiots... Did any of you actually read the OP, or did you just pick out the excerpts which punched your buttons and decide to gang-up on the OP???

Your lot are worse than a bunch of ignorant Thais mototaxi riders juiced up on Lao Kao...

If you can't offer any positive advice, then <deleted>...

[Kwasaki]

Right - that's two with marmalade and two with marmite and two with vegemite,

Oh yes ! and I'll have a STEAK whoops (sorry typo).

[eltelboy]

I do feel sorry for the predicament you find yourself in and ignore' the 'go home' gang as they cannot be bothered to take the time to put a decent reply. I love the way some replies are full of self-righteous BS telling you what you should be doing with your personal life, I wonder how many of them have kids somewhere that they are devoting their oh so grand lives to and of course their wonderful Thai wife wasn't someone they met in a Bar Anyway I have come across some similar situations to what you are going through.

My Brother is currently going through a divorce with his bitch from hel_l in the UK and she is doing all she can to prevent him seeing his children and of course taking him for every penny she can. If you are not from the UK then don't judge the poster on his personal life, a woman holds all the cards in the UK whether she is a slut or not....if you think Thai women are untrustworthy then go to England.

As for Paypal and Ebay, don't get me started. Ebay is the biggest fraud site in the world and being in the memorabilia business myself you wouldn't believe the amount of fake signatures I count on just one page of Ebay items. I used the site a few times to generate some business but now avoid it as to me it devalues your business as a genuine seller. I have managed to get many fraudsters thrown off Ebay including using National newspapers as some of my customers try and sell me some of the crap they have purchased on this site and then I have inform them its fake. The people who run this business are only interested in profit and do not give a toss about the amount of fraud they encourage.

Now we have one of the most unfair companies in the world, Paypal. I have been ripped off three times by fraudulent customers who know how to get around the rules of Paypal so the seller can be blamed for any problems (the customer not wanting to pay extra for tracking or to insure a parcel is a common one and then they pretend it doesn't arrive and the seller gets the money taken out of their account automatically to refund the fraudulent buyer). Also Paypal will not refund you if you buy a fake item (item not as described)...can you believe that ! Don't forget that Paypal now own Ebay or is it the other way around....whatever its a nice little earner.

Unfortunately Paypal are very difficult to deal with and it will take time even if you take legal action. I hope you can get your situation sorted and I for one do believe you care for your kids...why shouldn't you get on with some sort of life. Good luck.

Edited September 16, 2010 by eltelboy

[Kwasaki]

What a bunch of <deleted> idiots... Did any of you actually read the OP, or did you just pick out the excerpts which punched your buttons and decide to gang-up on the OP???

Your lot are worse than a bunch of ignorant Thais mototaxi riders juiced up on Lao Kao...

If you can't offer any positive advice, then <deleted>...

You would have to be a <deleted> idiot to believe it. Kor this Lao Kao great stuff.

[schmutzie]

I haven't read all the posts, but personal circumstances aside:

You made bad financial arrangements for 6 months. I do not consider this a very long time so should have been easy to protect yourself from this type of situation. I believe you stated that you had some funds upon leaving the UK, so I don't understand why these would also have to be tied up to your Paypal account or Ebay business? DId you spend it already? Did you invest these funds in order to get the Ebay business going?

Why did you leave your funds locked up in the Paypal account? You claim experience but this does not demonstrate it. Start the process of unblocking the account regardless of it taking 180 days or whatever. Get this going now and keep pushing it.

At a minimum, have an overdraft facility in place with your UK bank for emergencies (like getting home and paying first month/depo on room or flat).

Have minimum two accounts with funds spread evenly between them or even better, where you can transfer between them. Have multiple cards for these accounts.

It's easy to lecture and patronise, especially in hindsight. But you made some serious errors and frankly seem enough in command of yourself to also think

of a solution. I can not understand the suicide comment (your post seems mostly about money issues, which are never worth contemplating suicide over), but as you've had time and energy to riposte here I take it that this was more meant to highlight your level of frustration.

You could simply start by applying for jobs. If you have been a successful businessman in the past, surely you can convert those skills into an excellent CV.

Plenty of web/PHP developer positions are advertised.

I wouldn't worry about the work permit. Be optimistic and see what happens and maybe that'll sort itself out. Not suggesting you do something illegal, but just trying to cultivate an attitude of optimism.

Do you have any assets back in the UK that could be sold? Did you leave a key/access with one your family members or friend for the items you put in storage?

To me, it sounds like you arranged some time out with a bit of adventure thrown in vis a vis your romantic relationship with a Thai lady (a bit harsh perhaps).

You seem fixated on your web business plans, to the detriment of yourself, your family in the UK and perhaps your Thai girlfriend (eventually).

Set a deadline, and if things have not improved by then, then go back home and regroup yourself and come back better prepared. Your initial trip here seems have been based on impulse, which is fine, but badly executed in terms of finances. I would not have come here without enough funds, and then some, to tie me over the full 6 month period.

[BOlopez]

... I have literally 1,000 baht to my name ...

1,000 baht is more than 166 Mama noodles at 6 baht each - that's over 5 months of food to survive on...

Look after your 1,000 baht carefully and you can see this problem out

Simon

oh lord!

[BOlopez]

Jesus who cares if he loves his fuc_king kids or not ... the issue is ebay/paypal can just randomly STEAL ALL YOUR SHIT?!  

None of us advising the OP to go home ever said he didn't love his kids.  But this man's situation cannot be only about money, independent from his other responsibilities in life.  If he was young, single, childless, debt free, etc., it would be one thing.  He's not.  His lack of money most likely will affect his children in the near or distant future.  If he continues to live here without any income, how will he continue to support his children at home?  He needs to think about putting his family first.

I really don't mind the critiques. I fully understand that all the facts are not present in the original post which i thought to be too long as it already stands. I intended to fill it in blank spots as i go, just to clarify points for the readers.

My children are well supported, i give up my house and a S**tload of cash for their well being. I basically left myself almost broke so that i could provide for their future.

My arrangements coming here were that i am returning to the UK in November to sort out a few things and have some time with the kids before returning here for another spell. I could (at one time) webcam with them on msn, and we could interact well. There was absolutely no indication other than my children's love for me. I can't believe for a moment that all of a sudden, they would all three decide to cut me out.

As for my ex... she is an habitual slut. My kids would complain tome that she would have a different man in her bed every week, this was not good for my kids to see. That is the sort of person she is.. i had to step in when my 8 year old daughter complained to me that one guy who would drive 80 miles after work every day to get there, was constantly following my daughter around the house and sitting next to her and cuddling her all the time, and emailing her like 3 times daily. Whilst paying no heed to the other 2 kids, and not even as much attention to their mum. When i read these emails.. it screamed out pedophile to me... How would most men react to that???

So obviously i stirred up a load of trouble till she dumped this creep.. the consequences were, that i was barred from seeing my kids for months afterwards. A small price to pay in my opinion to guarantee the safety of my daughter.

You see..... There are always extenuating circumstances to all my actions. I have been through a heck of a bad time. I needed this fresh start. My new project WILL eventually be started, and it WILL make a lot of money, and that is all part of my long term plan to rejuvenate my future and give my kids a really good upbringing. When they are 16 they will no longer be in their mother's care. i will have them, and 2 of them have already stated this as what they want. That is what my ex hates.. because once she loses the kids to me, then she will have no financial support. She may even have to get her first job ever.

you are one sorry fella pal!   so your daughter has 8 years to fend off paedophiles,  while you w your korat honey.

ALL THESE THREADS HAVE A SIMILIAR THEME.   THE MEN BLAME EVERYONE BUT THEMSELVES.

[mattcodes]

I have considered taking on a partner and selling out some of the equity in my current and future projects which are set to be very lucrative.

If the business isnt trading, has no assets, then essentially you're selling an idea, unless you its something absolutely amazing and unique that is patented, then even in Thailand these won't sell.

Put your web design and/or SEO skills to work on elance or getafreelancer for some money to tide you over until you can fund your project/greater-ambitions.

[KunMatt]

www.paypalsucks.com - check it out and see why you should never trust Paypal with any of your money.

Unless you are a big company and you are dealing on Paypal there is a HUGE chance Paypal will freeze your account for 6 months whenever you have a significant amount of money in there, keep all the interest for themselves and probably end up keeping what is in your account in the end as they make it impossible for you to bring any case against them or to prove your way out of whatever infraction it is they claim you have done. It's basically legal highway robbery.

I got stung for a few hundred quid a couple of years ago, and that just happened to be the one and only time in 5 years I had any amount of money in my Paypal account over £50. I jumped through hoops for them doing doing everything they asked of me and all the legwork to prove that they were wrong as the burden of proof was on me to show them that they hadn't actually paid the money into my bank account and that it was their mistake!

I will never trust Paypal with any of my money again but you have no choice to use them sometimes as eBay forces you to use them as they own them.

I can't imagine trying to run a business using Paypal as the money handler with the real threat of them closing my account whenever they feel like it just so they can steal my money and ruin my business.

[schmutzie]

www.paypalsucks.com - check it out and see why you should never trust Paypal with any of your money.

Unless you are a big company and you are dealing on Paypal there is a HUGE chance Paypal will freeze your account for 6 months whenever you have a significant amount of money in there, keep all the interest for themselves and probably end up keeping what is in your account in the end as they make it impossible for you to bring any case against them or to prove your way out of whatever infraction it is they claim you have done. It's basically legal highway robbery.

I got stung for a few hundred quid a couple of years ago, and that just happened to be the one and only time in 5 years I had any amount of money in my Paypal account over £50. I jumped through hoops for them doing doing everything they asked of me and all the legwork to prove that they were wrong as the burden of proof was on me to show them that they hadn't actually paid the money into my bank account and that it was their mistake!

I will never trust Paypal with any of my money again but you have no choice to use them sometimes as eBay forces you to use them as they own them.

I can't imagine trying to run a business using Paypal as the money handler with the real threat of them closing my account whenever they feel like it just so they can steal my money and ruin my business.

Problems with Paypal is one thing. But to have ALL your funds deposited with them is another altogether IMHO. As already stated.

Edited September 16, 2010 by schmutzie

[MB1]

This seems to be fueled by the fact that you did leave your "three young children" to live on the other side of the world. You chose a girl you met online over your own children. You chose your happiness over theirs. No wonder they feel abandoned. My advice? Go home and be with your children before it's too late. The longer you are away, the less likely they are to forgive you and to accept you back into their lives.

Hmmmm.... The fact s are, that my kids were fine with me and my decision. I totally explained the situation. We were in constant contact via msn and facebook, until last month i found they all deleted me from their facebooks, and so i messaged them, and they added me again, only to remove me again after a few hours, and then i got emails from them that seemed to be strangely written, and NOT sounding like what my kids would write like. The grammar was totally different to that of my kids. Then an email from my ex missus saying stop adding them to my facebook as it was confusing them. She is in fact a very nasty piece of work who was with me until the big money stopped rolling in, then she dumped me for a succession of different men, an airline pilot to name but one. That is the sort of person she is.

My last encounters with my children online were happy ones and we would laugh and joke and they would love to hear about all the strange things in Thailand.

I would mail them gifts etc... there were NO problems between me and my kids.

Well there certainly is now...and no wonder!!

How could you abandon your own children!

It's unbelievably how you are trying to blame your ex!

You have chosen cheap love/sex over the welfare of your own children, how could you?

Making merit to your own house won't help you, the Gods hate people like you.

"Ye reep what ye shall sow" I hope you end up in the gutter where you belong

And what go's round comes round, you could end up in the gutter one day, maybe through no fault of your own, let's hope your never in that situation Eh, where you leave your kids due to what can be a number of reasons and have trouble contacting them, but very commonly in the UK some men have no rights to see their children due to the wife's nasty behavior and demands being agreed in court which gives the father no rights to see them due to lies that some women will make to try and make sure they can't see or contact them...

Reminder to self , never ask for advice from people like Exile... -1.

This thread reminds me of how some people on TV can be nasty keyboard warriors, no wonder newbies refrain from posting or joining in with the forums.Sigh.

[MB1]

Living inexile,

I don't remember ever being quite so at odds with one of your posts? Are you having a bad day? You are usually full of the milk of human kindness.

Chap is having a crap time of it and while he COULD have just sold his sob story, he manned up and put it in context. Kudos for that at least. To gclet involved in arguments about raising kids is very near the knuckle when you don't know all the parties involved. I'm just sticking to the matter in hand which is ebay has frozen his money so how can he do ANYTHING however good or bad he is??

Hindsight is 20/20 and while many of us would not have put all our resources at risk like that, fact remains, we would all be better of coming up with solutions to this problem than tearing the chap down. And before you ask, as far as I know,I don't know the bloke from Adam. But Its a heck of spot he's in. Would be easy to poke fun at it,and indeed my busking post did just that but as he raised this first on another forum and I have offered him some advice and am looking into helping him out myself or by proxy, I didn't feel too bad about a bit of humour.

Can't kick a man when he's REALLY down.

Sorry LOZ, meant to give you +1 for your post, clicked on -1 by mistake and can't rectify it, apologies. Edit, seems I did rectify it..

Edited September 16, 2010 by MB1

[cardholder]

Jesus who cares if he loves his fuc_king kids or not ... the issue is ebay/paypal can just randomly STEAL ALL YOUR SHIT?! <deleted> is up with that? thats some scary business right there, and they cannot be held accountable? sounds like the biggest scam ever and they are allowed to continue doing this?

I think you will find that is NOT the issue in this topic.

[newsite12]

This seems to be fueled by the fact that you did leave your "three young children" to live on the other side of the world. You chose a girl you met online over your own children. You chose your happiness over theirs. No wonder they feel abandoned. My advice? Go home and be with your children before it's too late. The longer you are away, the less likely they are to forgive you and to accept you back into their lives.

Hmmmm.... The fact s are, that my kids were fine with me and my decision. I totally explained the situation. We were in constant contact via msn and facebook, until last month i found they all deleted me from their facebooks, and so i messaged them, and they added me again, only to remove me again after a few hours, and then i got emails from them that seemed to be strangely written, and NOT sounding like what my kids would write like. The grammar was totally different to that of my kids. Then an email from my ex missus saying stop adding them to my facebook as it was confusing them. She is in fact a very nasty piece of work who was with me until the big money stopped rolling in, then she dumped me for a succession of different men, an airline pilot to name but one. That is the sort of person she is.

My last encounters with my children online were happy ones and we would laugh and joke and they would love to hear about all the strange things in Thailand.

I would mail them gifts etc... there were NO problems between me and my kids.

Well there certainly is now...and no wonder!!

How could you abandon your own children!

It's unbelievably how you are trying to blame your ex!

You have chosen cheap love/sex over the welfare of your own children, how could you?

Making merit to your own house won't help you, the Gods hate people like you.

"Ye reep what ye shall sow" I hope you end up in the gutter where you belong

I am absolutely astounded at the level of nastiness running through this person's mind. How can a person with the capability to level such poison spitting, vitriolic outbursts at another human being have the affront to lecture someone on personal decency. it is hypocrisy in its rawest form.

How can you say that I have chosen cheap love/sex when I clearly state in my post that my relationship started as platonic for over a year?

My love and compassion for the welfare of my kids is what has put me in this position in the first place.

It is my slutty whore of an ex who has no regard for the kids. Don't try to sit there pointing fingers at me. You do NOT know my ex, I do and did for a long time. She was always a whore and always will be. It was me who comforted her through her divorce, and helped her pick up the pieces. Unfortunately one thing led to another and she got pregnant. I stuck by her even though she was far from being my ideal choice, but that's how I was brought up. It was ME in fact that took on her 3 teenage kids from her previous marriage, which SHE incidentally destroyed through... you guessed it... Infidelity. It was me who fed, housed and clothed her other kids, and tried my best to bring these disturbed little critters as well adjusted young adults. Before i came along, the police visits to their house was a daily occurrence

.We had another 2 kids, and everything was fine.

She started doing the grocery delivery man when I was at work... she is a raging nympho. I found out and left her. But I took her back, because she became an emotional wreck and I feared she could not look after the kids. PURELY BECAUSE OF THE KIDS... Big mistake! It lasted about 6 months, and she was itching again. So she left me and took the kids, that's when she started sleeping around all over the place. Then her father died suddenly, and she became a wreck once again, zombied out on prozac. Guess who she came crying to??? Yes.... ME... Muggins here.

So call me a total idiot, and I suppose I am, but I stuck around, and maintained a part time relationship where i stayed in a rented cottage in the next village, doing my business, while i would spend weekends at her house with the kids, which was actually really good for everyone, the kids came over to stay with me and me with them. It's far from a perfect family, but it was making the best of a bad situation. She eventually mentally stabalised once again.

Then totally out of the blue.. She told me she couldn't handle me coming around any more.. Just like that. one day it was, all nicey nicey.. the next WHAM!!!! Total change.

That is when all these guys started coming around the house, and my daughter telling me she was frightened of one of them. That's when I had enough, and I turned to social services... waste of time... I started to launch a custody battle.... waste of time. It only fueled her to twist and manipulate the kids against me. She had the advantage over me, as she was the guardian and so had 24/7 access to the kids to be able to do this. Where in contrast I had limited ability to defend myself. They were also on strict orders to never answer any of my questions about what was going on in their home, or anything to do with her men... On pain of having all their personal possessions, which I bought them confiscated. That is how twisted and evil she is. She even threw my son's new PS3 in the bin because he told her that he told me his email password, (even though I hadn't asked for it). he was only six years old... he didn't even understand properly, he just thought it was a silly game of secrets that him and mum were playing, he was even smiling when he told her. Kids can't keep a secret at that age, the more of a secret it is, the harder it is to keep it when you are only 6.

She took that Playstation that I bought him for his birthday a week earlier, and she smashed it up and threw it in the bin while he screamed his heart out.. I am crying my eyes out now while I am typing this. But some people need to know the truth.

That is the sort of woman I have been discussing. All I ever did was help her, and all she ever did was take take take, and shows no regret for any of her actions. She has a heart of ice. Not only towards me, but also her own children. I am banned from seeing them, in person unless I pay her an outrageous sum of money which I have not got, because she had most of it, and the house too. That is why, I had to get away for a while. I was starting to go crazy, even though i am 6000 miles away, I was getting the same interaction with my kids via webcam etc.. as I was getting back in the UK.

Believe me, when i tell you, that I have my kids' welfare at the forefront of my mind. I merely came here to finish off my project in a different, and more relaxed environment. The closer i am to my kids at the moment, the harder they will have it from their mum. I am better out of the loop for a short time. i am only here till November, then i will return to the UK and see if i can't resolve a few of these domestic issues after a bit of cooling off. My family are always calling in and checking on the kids for me, and they have been put under strict instructions to remain 100% civil with her at all times for the sake of the kids.

I am assuming she cut off all internet access between us because of some strange plan hatching in her head. I could reinstate my intentions to pursue custody, but I dread to think how the kids will suffer from this, as well as how much they will suffer at her hands. I have legal rights to have my kids over for weekends if i want to take her to court. but how much will they suffer during the other 5 days?

But I am at least buoyed by 2 facts

1. When the kids reach 16.. one by one... they will come over to me, purely on the basis that they of all people know exactly what has went on in this family, they will know who the offener is and who the victims have been.

2. When that happens, she will have NOTHING, because she sold the house and is squandering the money, and is now in a rented house. Which is why she is putting pressure on me to hand over lots of cash to see my kids.

I chose Thailand because of the same reason everyone chooses Thailand, but also because my rented cottage was costing me £800 a month, and soon I would be in the financial situation where I may have had to temporarily locate to a bedsit which are infested with drug dealers and drunks. I admit I should have made the decision to come a bit sooner if only to have that bit more spare cash. but, yes. I knew my money would last a lot longer here, as it was running out fast (and i am talking about overdrafts and credit card limits). seeing as I only had a month or two left to start off my project and in light of my current circumstances. I was faced with a choice.

I asked friends and family what I should do... Bedsit or Thailand.. EVERYBODY said Thailand. Had my situation been different with my kids, maybe i would still have come here. Who knows?... many fathers work away from home to provide for their kids' futures. maybe I would still be there.. But the situation is as it is, and I believe i have not done anything wrong by my kids. I am only here for 6 months. I love it here. i am finally with a great woman who is totally my perfect match, we have so much in common, we both play guitar, both have an interest in e commerce, same music and movies taste. She is kind hearted, and has a great family. I feel for the first time in 3 years i have finally had some good luck come my way.

I and everyone that knows me, knows that I have been a model father to not only my own kids, but to her other 3 as well. For the record... My ex is 10 years my senior, and her other 3 kids left her one by one as they turned 16 and went to stay with their dad. Says it all really.

My Thai girlfriend has been my crutch all through this past year. She has offered me lots of good advice, as she is quite cool headed and very intelligent. She has kept me totally same and focused during this. I thought i would repay her kindness by showing her how to make extra money merely by buying from the east and selling to the west. Unfortunately i chose Ebay and Paypal as the model for this, after all, it is a good place to start, then you can move on to website retail when you get a feel for it. i also explained that there were risks involved, and that Paypal from past experiences were a totally loose canon with regards to safe trading, but as i needed a little extra cash to tide me over while I was riding out a few delays with my project development.

We were actually doing surprisingly well, and i managed to almost treble my funds in 2 weeks. However, that was considered in paypal's view to be an unusual SPIKE in trading, which started the alarm bells ringing. BANG!!!!... No warning.. limited access... Do this, Do that.. 3 weeks of playing up to their demands, and result.. "We have found you to be a good reputable trader.. please continue". I managed to get a bit of money out, and the rest went on a final stock purchase which we sold in 3 days and that was going to be that. My project was complete, and it was time to turn my efforts to that. I posted off all the items, and all the payments were in from the customers. I initiated the transfer of ALL the funds to my Kasikorn bank account and everything was hunky dory.. Mission successful. Time to make serious money and go back to the UK with my debts paid and the necessary sweetener to pay to see my kids.

No way.. opened email from paypal 2 hours later to say that withdrawal was reversed, and that account access limited.. this time i had to send proof of delivery of items. So I sent them the tracking numbers and we waited out the week for then to get to their worldwide destinations. We tracked them on the internet, to see as soon as they got there so we could call paypal and get the account reinstated once again. During that time.. some ass***e non paying bidder left us a negative saying he never paid because he was suspicious that they were Thai fakes.. They were top quality generic headphones.and other audio equipment they were not fakes or falsely represented in any way shape or form. He just changed his mind and didn't want them, and he was upset because he got a non paying bidder claim against him. Thats the only way we can claim back the Ebay commission, yet for some strange reason Ebay allow non paying bidders to leave feedback.. WHY????? So ebay reviewed the negative after I protested, and obviously sent a signal to paypal (whom Ebay owns).

But anyway... we contacted paypal to say that all the items were safely with our customers. and 2 hours later I get the dreaded email. We are closing you paypal account, reason: you recent ebay activity, we do not allow you to receive payments for the sale of counterfeit or unlicensed items. we are holding all your funds for 180 days. No appeal system, no other reason.. email then and all you get is a stock reply, we have reason to suspect, we don't have to tell you anything else. No matter what you say to them, you just get the same email fired back at you.

I am too tired to play chase with them, i can't afford to start court action this time. So I just going to wait out the 6 months. I thought under the circumstances I could ask for some advice on here and some other Thai boards. I have had some sound advice that has lifted me. I have had some very nasty people attack me... i expected a little venom from the sub-intellect bunch... But i never in my wildest dreams thought that someone could be so callous as to send me the above quoted post.

Maybe I made a couple of mistakes, maybe I was not totally bullet proofed for 6 months here. but hey, I almost did it, and you have to admit. If it had not been for Paypal, I would be sat comfortable now till November. I think that was my only real bad decision. To get involved with Paypal and ebay again after i knew what they were like.

So I have no right to be in Thailand?...I belong in the gutter for that???

[cardholder]

Teaching is the way to go, either that or sell your arse.

Best advice so far.

[newsite12]

Teaching is the way to go, either that or sell your arse.

Can't I just pawn my arse? With all this Thai green curry I get through... I seriously need my arse.

Edited September 16, 2010 by newsite12

[cardholder]

Living inexile,

I don't remember ever being quite so at odds with one of your posts? Are you having a bad day? You are usually full of the milk of human kindness.

Chap is having a crap time of it and while he COULD have just sold his sob story, he manned up and put it in context. Kudos for that at least. To gclet involved in arguments about raising kids is very near the knuckle when you don't know all the parties involved. I'm just sticking to the matter in hand which is ebay has frozen his money so how can he do ANYTHING however good or bad he is??

Hindsight is 20/20 and while many of us would not have put all our resources at risk like that, fact remains, we would all be better of coming up with solutions to this problem than tearing the chap down. And before you ask, as far as I know,I don't know the bloke from Adam. But Its a heck of spot he's in. Would be easy to poke fun at it,and indeed my busking post did just that but as he raised this first on another forum and I have offered him some advice and am looking into helping him out myself or by proxy, I didn't feel too bad about a bit of humour.

Can't kick a man when he's REALLY down.

I would be inclined to lean towards the same supportive approach if I could be convinced that the banned member ZEROD1 wasn't the same poster that you befriended via the other forum.

I am too long-toothed to accept the extent of such a coincidence.

[schmutzie]

I'm starting to find your replies a little odd: Whereas you initially stated that you were not looking for sympathy, all your replies appear to be trying to justify just that. I can understand the urge to respond to negative comments, but this is a public forum and I think you can find those in all threads, especially with the anonymity we're afforded here. Why pick up on single abusive comments. You have better things to do.

Personally I would have kept my post limited to the Paypal/Ebay issue, as otherwise you just invite the whole forum to have a look at your dirty laundry, of which we all have some.

So being confused, what is the actual, specific advice you're after in your original post?

If there isn't any, then I don't think you can avoid these comments as you're basically saying "here's my life, what do you think...?"

[longstebe]

Teaching is the way to go, either that or sell your arse.

Can't I just pawn my arse? With all this Thai green curry I get through... I seriously need my arse.

Hope ya pull thru mate. Good luck

[geronimo]

A golden rule: NEVER start a business if it can be pulled from under you at any time without your agreement!

[travelmann]

Jesus who cares if he loves his fuc_king kids or not ... the issue is ebay/paypal can just randomly STEAL ALL YOUR SHIT?! <deleted> is up with that? thats some scary business right there, and they cannot be held accountable? sounds like the biggest scam ever and they are allowed to continue doing this?

Paypal notorious.........

http://www.paypalsucks.com/forums/showthread.php?fid=15&tid=3602

[IanForbes]

We all have to take responsibility for every choice we make... every day. That means our choice in a spouse as much as it means a choice in what produce to buy from a market. It's how we cope later that counts. If I stick my hand in a bag of venomous snakes then I can hardly blame the snakes for biting me. If I undertake to look after someone else's family then I can NOT blame them if they do as they've always done.

[jackr]

Jesus who cares if he loves his fuc_king kids or not ... the issue is ebay/paypal can just randomly STEAL ALL YOUR SHIT?! <deleted> is up with that? thats some scary business right there, and they cannot be held accountable? sounds like the biggest scam ever and they are allowed to continue doing this?

You have chosen cheap love/sex over the welfare of your own children, how could you?

Making merit to your own house won't help you, the Gods hate people like you.

"Ye reep what ye shall sow" I hope you end up in the gutter where you belong

There's a lot of venom on here. The guy is asking for ideas and is clearly not interested in snotty, self-righteous <deleted>. Who are you, or any of you, to judge. Just offer some advice or shut the f up!

While teaching is the obvious route, op, for immediate cash, I also like the idea of doing freelance design or writing work with the likes of elance. I take it you already max'd out your credit cards?

[mca]

I've tended to find that the most judgmental of people are the ones whose own lives can be ripped apart in a matter of seconds should the mood take one.

I think the best rule of thumb for TVF is to ask questions no more taxing than " What are the tyre pressure for my Mitsubishi Space Wagon "

But of course you'll possibly get the reply of " What did you buy one of those pieces of shit for? You're a moron. You should have bough blah blah blah <deleted>..."

Edited September 16, 2010 by mca

[Beetlejuice]

Like so many others who come to Thailand on a hope and a prayer, you have tried to live out your dream, only problem is that once the dream becomes reality, this cost money.

Swallow your pride and ask your family to lend you £400 enough for a one way ticket back to the UK and to put you up for a while until you find a job or able to earn again. This should not take long according to your skills you mentioned.

It may still be possible to return to Thailand again once you have ironed out your financial problems. I can`t see any other options for you at this time.

At least if you return to Thailand later on, you will have more experience and probably will not leave yourself so vulerable next time.

It`s not the end of the world, these things happen. Think positive and all will be OK in the end.

Edited September 17, 2010 by Beetlejuice

[GuestHouse]

The court gave my ex my house (400,000UKP) and a S..tload of cash, then told me I no longer had any responsibility (financial or otherwise) towards my 4 children.

The ex said I would never see my children again ....... I just said suit yourself, you keep 'em and moved 5000 miles away.

This is the internet, and people can make all sorts of stupid claims.... The above is an example.

A UK Court will absolutely not absolve a parent of responsibility for his/her children unless the children are over the age of 18. But if saying otherwise helps justify you justify to yourself that not providing on going support is right for you then go ahead with your dream pot view of how these things are.

[sarahsbloke]

1. When the kids reach 16.. one by one... they will come over to me, purely on the basis that they of all people know exactly what has went on in this family, they will know who the offener is and who the victims have been.

2. When that happens, she will have NOTHING, because she sold the house and is squandering the money, and is now in a rented house. Which is why she is putting pressure on me to hand over lots of cash to see my kids.

I chose Thailand because of the same reason everyone chooses Thailand, but also because my rented cottage was costing me £800 a month, and soon I would be in the financial situation where I may have had to temporarily locate to a bedsit which are infested with drug dealers and drunks. I admit I should have made the decision to come a bit sooner if only to have that bit more spare cash. but, yes. I knew my money would last a lot longer here, as it was running out fast (and i am talking about overdrafts and credit card limits). seeing as I only had a month or two left to start off my project and in light of my current circumstances. I was faced with a choice.

1) I wouldn't rely on that, she has a lot of time to drip poison in their ears, I won't be seeing my 4 again and I really don't want to.

I have two children in their 20s, their mother told them, if they had contact with me they would never see their mother or younger brothers again, they chose the mother/brothers and I chose to let them have their way. Sorry, I'm just not a very forgiving person.

2) My ex is selling the house she was awarded, for her and her children to live in, right now. Makes you wonder how stupid these judges are doesn't it.

3) Same choice for me, cold lonely bedsit in the UK and police harassment or nice house in Thailand with hot Thai chick ....... Hmmmmm need more time to choose!

By the way, now you have lived in Thailand, you are unlikely to ever be awarded custody of your UK children no matter what, your wife will accuse you of being a paedophile and the UK courts and social services will agree. The UK system hates Thailand and it's people because of their liberal attitudes to sex. Your wife will never voluntarily give up the children, sole custody of 2 children brings in about 15,000UKP a year in benefits, she won't ever let that go.

Better to move on with your life and start a new family, a family you can live with and care for, I have.

PS

Nothing wrong with drug dealers and drunks. I made many friends among them when my middle class pals all turned their backs on me during my divorce.

Edited September 17, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[tonititan]

She was always a whore and always will be. It was me who comforted her through her divorce, and helped her pick up the pieces. Unfortunately one thing led to another and she got pregnant. I stuck by her even though she was far from being my ideal choice, but that's how I was brought up. It was ME in fact that took on her 3 teenage kids from her previous marriage, which SHE incidentally destroyed through... you guessed it... Infidelity

So if she was "always a whore," that means she was a whore when you met her, a whore when you married her, and a whore when you had two more kids with her (after the first unplanned pregnancy). It sounds like you weren't bothered by the fact that she was a nympho, as you called her, when you started a sexual relationship with her. It also sounds like you knew she was a cheater when you comforted her throughout her divorce. Did you really expect things would change by marrying you? I'm sorry, but if you choose to start a relationship with someone you know has a long history of cheating, I can't feel sorry for you that you were cheated on as well.

[newsite12]

She was always a whore and always will be. It was me who comforted her through her divorce, and helped her pick up the pieces. Unfortunately one thing led to another and she got pregnant. I stuck by her even though she was far from being my ideal choice, but that's how I was brought up. It was ME in fact that took on her 3 teenage kids from her previous marriage, which SHE incidentally destroyed through... you guessed it... Infidelity

So if she was "always a whore," that means she was a whore when you met her, a whore when you married her, and a whore when you had two more kids with her (after the first unplanned pregnancy). It sounds like you weren't bothered by the fact that she was a nympho, as you called her, when you started a sexual relationship with her. It also sounds like you knew she was a cheater when you comforted her throughout her divorce. Did you really expect things would change by marrying you? I'm sorry, but if you choose to start a relationship with someone you know has a long history of cheating, I can't feel sorry for you that you were cheated on as well.

When you meet a woman for the first time and listen to her tales of woe, of past relationships and mistreatment at the hands of a past spouse. You tend to give them the benefit of the doubt. Obviously, it is human nature to want to believe someone when they sound so sincere, but it depends on how cynical you are. I personally try to go through life not being a twisted and cynical individual. I do understand that in some facets of life, it pays you to be cynical. But if you apply that attitude to everything in life. You run the risk of becoming bitter and twisted in the mind. That is not a healthy attitude to live by if you want to enjoy life with a carefree will.

If I was to go through life rejecting everything people say to me as a lie. I don't think it would be too long before I developed a personality in line with a lot of people that use this site, with a twisted and skeptical perception of everything they see, hear and read. That in my view, is not a healthy personality. I think it would be very difficult for anyone to like me if I was like that. It wouldn't be a very nice thing to go through life if nobody liked you.

Edited September 17, 2010 by newsite12

[IanForbes]

When you meet a woman for the first time and listen to her tales of woe, of past relationships and mistreatment at the hands of a past spouse. You tend to give them the benefit of the doubt. Obviously, it is human nature to want to believe someone when they sound so sincere, but it depends on how cynical you are. I personally try to go through life not being a twisted and cynical individual. I do understand that in some facets of life, it pays you to be cynical. But if you apply that attitude to everything in life. You run the risk of becoming bitter and twisted in the mind. That is not a healthy attitude to live by if you want to enjoy life with a carefree will.

If I was to go through life rejecting everything people say to me as a lie. I don't think it would be too long before I developed a personality in line with a lot of people that use this site, with a twisted and skeptical perception of everything they see, hear and read. That in my view, is not a healthy personality. I think it would be very difficult for anyone to like me if I was like that. It wouldn't be a very nice thing to go through life if nobody liked you.

That is a reasonable explanation for things in general, but you've still failed to understand what others have been saying. I agree that what has happened to you is unfortunate, but you CHOSE to put yourself in that position. It's commendable of you for trying to give the children the best life possible, but leopards don't lose their spots. It was YOU that called her a whore... not us. We are only reacting to what you have told us. Unfortunately, you've made your bed and now you have to lie in it. There is nothing wrong with this discussion and maybe some newbie reading this thread might learn something and not jump out of the plane without a parachute.

I send 6000 baht a month to a family in Kanchanaburi, and yet I haven't had any interest in the mother of the 3 children in 5 years. I only send the money as a form of charity to help the children. But, I don't send more than I can afford to give away, and I do so without any expectations of anything in return. It doesn't concern me what the mother does so long as the children are well cared for. So far she's been a reasonable mother, and I visit once a year for a short time just to see the children. i suggest you might try the same thing. Unfortunately, you were foolish in getting the woman pregnant with your OWN children. When you CHOSE to do that then you put your own personal life at risk.