Treat Poor Thais Like Children

[Chunky1]

This has been my experience but you are welcome to state and argue a differentiating opinion. Essentially in Thai society rich Thais treat poor Thais in a very non-personal manner, therefore, if you treat a poor Thai person (your maid/driver/the noodle lady/employee) nicely they will take your kindness as weakness. In the West, we treat everyone as though they are deserving of respect regardless of social standing. In Thailand, note that everyone is not equal. You have social classes to heed. You can smile at them but do it vaguely while avoiding eye contact. If you have some extra fruit that you are eating, throw it in the garbage as opposed to spoiling them with it (unless it is close to a holiday in which case you can call it a bonus). Do not engage them on any personal level. Poorer Thais are easily confused and you should keep their tasks and the social order as simple as possible.

[james24]

wow. As I see where youre coming from I think its worth remembering that not everyone is the same

[Sakeopete]

That's what the Thai elite would like you to do. Maybe treat them with respect and show them the rest of the world doesn't look down on them. Maybe one day it will plant a seed in some som tam seller that will spark the revolution that will modernize Thai society. Then again you might just get an extra tasty som tam win win.

[PhilHarries]

Well I disagree, although not currently in Thailand I have always treated people as equals no matter what their "social status" may be. We all need each other, I treat children like children and adults as adults because that is the way I am.

If they see that as a weakness to be exploited, well that's their view and risk for if I find they are taking the p1ss they are out, no discussion, no negotiation, no second chance.

[luckizuchinni]

I disagree as well. I treat everyone well, and I don't think that has caused me any problems.

Of my friends, I have two who are hi-so with whom I hang out. One is old-family hi-so, one is newly (very) rich. Both men treat anyone older than them, no matter their station, with respect. (I had one of them interrupt a conversation with me to help an old pushcart lady get her cart across the road in traffic before coming back to me and picking up the conversation where he left off.) Even with the younger people, they treat them maybe not as equals, but certainly not like little children or with any rudeness.

[robblok]

I always treat people good.. and most of the time it helps. There will always be times it is used against you but that does not make it a bad thing to do. I hate elitist people, because they were born into money they think they are better. I would have more respect if they made it themselves without support a honest way.

[IanForbes]

That hasn't been my experience when dealing with poor Thais, but then I NEVER mix with the high society Thais, so I wouldn't know how they treat the poor. I just treat everyone the same way i would like to be treated myself. I don't lack for Thai friends and most are of the poorer variety.

However, I don't expect poor Thais to have the same knowledge as myself and I lower my expectations when dealing with people who haven't had my opportunities. Being poorly educated and poor financially does NOT mean a person is stupid. They are just as perceptive as the smartest people in knowing when they are being taken advantage of... or treated improperly. They just hide it better.

[SweeneyAgonistes]

Poor effort at a troll.

[Chunky1]

You are making the mistake of confusing random people with those with whom you have financial/service relations with. By all means, help old ladies cross the street.

[Chunky1]

One thing that needs to be mentioned. If a Thai person is intelligent then they won't be poor. This is the easiest place in the world to make money if you are intelligent and speak the local language. The fact that a Thai is poor is tantamount to their overall life outlook. Poverty in Thailand is a choice.

[Thaddeus]

Must say, l think your after winding a few up with this topic.

Or could just be a bigot.

[Kwasaki]

emmmm yes !!!! best of luck with that post.

[anonymouse]

Autistic or a troll

[richard_smith237]

There is perhaps an element of truth in what chunky is saying. As politically and socially incorrect as it is we can't be best friends with those who work for us.

A certain work ethic that exists in the West may not exist in Thailand. However, each and every situation really needs to be dealt with on its merits.

I treat everyone as I would wish to be treated in the same situation, but its sometimes impossible for us to juxtapose ourselves into a situation where someone has no or minimal education and expected by us to work to a Western work ethic.

I have myself experienced the 'Show kindness and its misinterpreted as Weakness' which then leads on to having to remidy the situation with a degree of 'Firmness' and that itself can create a situation.

I believe that starting off polite but assertive is the way to go.

Of course when I'm getting some food from the food cart down the street, I'll get my maid some too. But that doesn't mean she can leave halfway through the day with washing half finished in exactly the same way I wouldn't accept a taxi driver dropping me off half way or asking me to drive myself the rest of the way home.

With regards to treating the poor like children, No !... like anyone they are to be treated with respect, and like anyone a certain firmness or distance can be maintained until a mutual respect has been earned.

Edited October 1, 2010 by richard_smith237

[mca]

I employ a middle aged village couple where the wife cleans my house, does the laundry etc and the husband does odd jobs and the garden. As like most others I've been brought up to treat everybody equally. The problem is they will insist on bowing and scraping to me as if I were royalty.

Once the wife had burnt a hole in one of my t-shirts ironing and despite my genuine " Mai Pen Rai " protestations she was near to tears waiing and apologizing.

They're salt of the earth people but sometimes I want to say " For fuc_ks sake I'm nobody special Christ you've seen the skidmarks in my underwear haven't you? Hardly the sign of somebody superior "

Edited October 1, 2010 by mca

[sarahsbloke]

One thing that needs to be mentioned. If a Thai person is intelligent then they won't be poor. This is the easiest place in the world to make money if you are intelligent and speak the local language. The fact that a Thai is poor is tantamount to their overall life outlook. Poverty in Thailand is a choice.

Love of money is what makes people wealthy.

Intelligent people usually don't have the required 'love of money' to make all that much of it.

(unless you really believe teachers and professors are the most wealthy people in the world)

Most rich people are fairly shallow but cunning (IMHO).

[mca]

Most rich people are fairly shallow but cunning (IMHO).

Back where I come from a lot of the pretty wealthy people were either in the timber or scrap metal trade. Half pikeys basically. Now there were none of them most probably even knew what the FTSE or the like was and most appeared to have been dressed by Helen Keller.

But they'd fuc_k you over money wise in an instant with no qualms whatsoever. That's why a guy who looked as if he'd be happier plucking a banjo on a porch would be driving a new Jaguar XJ or Range Rover.

[p_brownstone]

Chunky is totally correct - and I think all the Farang on here are missing his main point.

He's not talking about how Farang treat poorer Thais, he's talking about how richer or "Hi-So" Thais treat their - poorer - fellow nationals.

Yes, most Farang in Thailand feel that "everyone is equal" - but that most definitely does not apply in Thai Society.

Patrick

[Loz]

I think the Chunky1 has been reading the "Willy Lynch Letters"

This might explain some of the OPs thinking...

[TheWalkingMan]

I think that the Chunky1 maybe more correct than incorrect with assertions.

I read it as we (non-Thais) should keep them (poorer Thais) at an arms length as they cannot understand why we would be nice to them. I mean, live a life where society says that you are to bow and grovel and then someone does something nice, what are you going to think? You would be totally confused and not know how to react. I think that is what he was saying.

Think about all the guys with girls complaining about how the girl never says please, thank-you or any other niceties that most of us are accustomed. Maybe in her level of society no one says please or gives thanks for things so they cannot grasp the concept of why it is done.

Think about the times you have heard about service staff, in some venues, grumbling about someone leaving a small tip. Maybe someone tipped them more before and now they expect a certain amount regardless of the level of service.

My example of this is that once, while in a good mood, I bought one of the hawkers on Walking Street a 2 or 3 sticks of chicken. No big deal really, I was just in the mood. For the next 3 years, every time I saw that hawker, she asked me for some chicken. <deleted>? Did the purchase I made sign me up to the, "I will buy you chicken every time I see you club?"

Did the hawker become confused by my gesture of kindness? Right or wrong, it gave me the impression that you really cannot be too nice as people will look at it as a freebie and expect it whenever they see you.

TheWalkingMan

[rixalex]

Chunky is obviously trying to set some sort of a record for most number of reddies given to one post. Can't think of any other reason for writing such nonsense.

[DP25]

In the West, we treat everyone as though they are deserving of respect regardless of social standing.

[Ulysses G.]

My example of this is that once, while in a good mood, I bought one of the hawkers on Walking Street a 2 or 3 sticks of chicken. No big deal really, I was just in the mood. For the next 3 years, every time I saw that hawker, she asked me for some chicken.

There are people like this around and they are annoying, but plenty of poor Thais would never think of this kind of behavior. You can not tar them all with the same brush.

[Loz]

THe Walkingman did seem to me to make the best of the bad job presented in the opening post. At least by that, I mean I can understand his post and empathise a little. the original post, I would hope, was at least alcohol fueled.

[canuckamuck]

It has been my experience that if you treat people a little better than what they expect they appreciate it, but you can take it too far and make everything uncomfortable.

Interacting with poor people in Thailand is different then dealing with poor people in the west. In the west, at least outside of England, the class issue is more muted; but in Thailand there is a social system which is complex and you need to understand it before you can successfully break the rules.

Being a farang gives you a lot of latitude to be different. But it is easy to make people uncomfortable even when you think you are doing them a favor; for example, by acting like there is no difference between you and them. Sometimes they they are doing there best to show someone the respect required by their social contract and to not receive their fussing about and their humility can be offensive too.

[onlooker]

Agree entirely with Chunky. You don't see wealthy Thais treating poor Thai with much respect. Thai bosses know how to deal with staff and don't stand for any nonsense. Farang bosses are far more likely to be taken advantage of by their staff. You also dont see many Thais rushing to pay 500K baht sin sot for an uneducated farmers daughter, yet plenty of farangs do. This type of behaviour just adds further encouragement for Thais to take the piss when it comes to dealing with farang employers.

[F1fanatic]

There is perhaps an element of truth in what chunky is saying. As politically and socially incorrect as it is we can't be best friends with those who work for us.

A certain work ethic that exists in the West may not exist in Thailand. However, each and every situation really needs to be dealt with on its merits.

I treat everyone as I would wish to be treated in the same situation, but its sometimes impossible for us to juxtapose ourselves into a situation where someone has no or minimal education and expected by us to work to a Western work ethic.

I have myself experienced the 'Show kindness and its misinterpreted as Weakness' which then leads on to having to remidy the situation with a degree of 'Firmness' and that itself can create a situation.

I believe that starting off polite but assertive is the way to go.

Of course when I'm getting some food from the food cart down the street, I'll get my maid some too. But that doesn't mean she can leave halfway through the day with washing half finished in exactly the same way I wouldn't accept a taxi driver dropping me off half way or asking me to drive myself the rest of the way home.

With regards to treating the poor like children, No !... like anyone they are to be treated with respect, and like anyone a certain firmness or distance can be maintained until a mutual respect has been earned.

Precisely. If you are in a position of authority over Thais at work then trying to be 'democratic' and 'fair' is seen as a weakness to be exploited.

Outside of work however, its entirely different - as a farang, to behave as a 'superior' person is just rude.

Edited October 1, 2010 by F1fanatic

[PhilHarries]

The fact that a Thai is poor is tantamount to their overall life outlook. Poverty in Thailand is a choice.

Utter rubbish! Poverty, unless brought on by fiscal stupidity, is by birth. What chance does the daughter of a poor rural family in Isaan have of ever being anything above a poor wife of a poor rice farmer? That is, assuming he doesn't do the usual and leave her for some younger thing, then her choices are very narrow indeed but poverty ain't one of them.

[elkangorito]

From the original post of the mental giant called Chunky;

Essentially in Thai society rich Thais treat poor Thais in a very non-personal manner, therefore, if you treat a poor Thai person (your maid/driver/the noodle lady/employee) nicely they will take your kindness as weakness.

How strange!! Where I live & where I work, the exact opposite occurs...pay respect & you get it back, from all "classes" of people (I don't see "classes"...I just see "people").

Maybe I live in a part of Thailand that ignores Chunky's obscure assumptions?

[edwardandtubs]

OP is entirely correct. In the west we are brought up to treat everyone equally and speak to a poor man with the same manners as you would to a rich man but you just can't bring that cultural baggage along with you to Thailand. Here, everyone knows and accepts their status. When in Rome, do as the Romans do. It may seem rude at first to just hand the money to a taxi driver or food seller without saying thank you, but that's the way it's done in Thailand. They get very confused if you act any differently and won't treat you with the same respect.