You Know You'Ve Been In Thailand Too Long When...

[Livinginexile]

You Know When You’ve Lived in Thailand Too Long When…

You think it’s normal to have a beer at 9:00 a.m.

You begin to enjoy Thai TV programs.

You look four ways before crossing a one way street.

You realize that ALL your problems are caused by Thai girls, or cranky ATMs.

You put salt and chilli on your fruit.

A Thai cop stops you for a minor infraction and you automatically

reach for your wallet..

You think that a Honda Civic is a prestigious car.

All your tee-shirts are emblazoned with the name of some bar.

You can’t remember the last time you wore a suit and tie.

You think a polo shirt and jeans are formal attire.

Someone tells you that watching Thai politics is like watching two

chameleons making love and you understand the analogy.

You aren’t upset when the bar girl ne xt to you eats beetles as a snack.

Later the same night, you actually kiss the bar girl who earlier dined

on the beetles.

You haven’t had a solid stool for five years.

You wake up in the morning and realize that you have nowhere to go and

all day to get there.

You think white wine goes well with Som Tam.

You understand when your Thai wife says, ‘My friend you’ or ‘Same,

same, but different.’

A Thai bar girl you’ve just met tells you that her mother is deathly

ill and you just laugh and walk away.

You realize that your Thai wife’s loyalties belong to:

1. A royal family

2. Her parents.

3. Her brats from a previous marriage to a Thai scoundrel who deserted her.

4. Any remaining blood relatives.

5. The family buffalo.

6. The family’s goldfish.

7. You.

The Thai Navy buys a new submarine and you’re not surprised when the

first thing they do is remove the mufflers and h ang a garland from the

rear view mirror.

You consider you mobile phone a fashion accessory.

You start wearing slippers everywhere

You start driving cars barefoot

You no longer enjoy Songkran. Instead, you stay home with a stack of DVDs.

You become an expert on buying and selling gold jewelry.

Dogs become animals you'd rather kick than pet.

When driving a car you'll start using every free inch of the road.

You flash your 4 indicator lights when driving straight on at an intersection.

It’s two days before payday, so you only go to bars with balloons

strung outside..

You realize that all the important words in Thai begin with the letter

‘S’. Sanuk (Fun), Saduak (convenient), Sabai (comfortable), Suay

pretty).

You believe that buying a gold chain is an acceptable courtship

ritual, or at least a form of foreplay.

You think a calendar more useful than a watch.

You go to a Thai Boxing match and a soccer game breaks out.

You stand in the shadow of a telephone pole while waiting for a bus.

Indian tailors ignore you when you walk past their shop.

When you charge a Falang the "Falang price"

When english becomes your second language

When you call and tell your parents about your sick buffalo

When you see a falang and yell "Falang!"

Taxi drivers understand you.

You are not surprised when the lady who owns the pub asks if you know

anyone who will teach her son English.

Not only does it not bother you a lady is cleaning the urinal next to

the one you are using, but that you also start to have a casual chat

with her.

You think blondes look exotic

You push the pull open door for the 50th time this week and giggle

about the experience again

Seeing stubble on the chin of your bride the morning after the wedding.

You read the subtitles at the movies rat her than listen to the English

You find that everything you own is counterfeit.

When you wait after the traffic light has turned green for four more

cars to pass the intersection.

[sillyman99]

When the same threads on ThaiVisa are repeated over and over and over again, with exactly the same responses but from different anonymous nicknames.

[MSingh]

Written by an American..

[Livinginexile]

Written by an American..

But true huh?...

[Tokay]

Are you poking fun at MY sick buffalo?

[MAJIC]

You Know You've Been in Thailand Too Long When:

You could swear blind, you keep reading the same Topics every 3 months!

Or is it "Groundhog Day" again"already?

I used to be confused,now i'm sure, i'm not sure.

Edited November 5, 2010 by MAJIC

[mca]

You realize that your Thai wife’s loyalties belong to:

1. A royal family

Belgium? Norway? Come on mate help us out! A few clues wouldn't go amiss.

[lovelomsak]

He missed my favorite.

When the footprints on the toilet seat are yours.

[geriatrickid]

When you wear long shirt & long pants to the beach because you do not want to take the sun.

[taninthai]

I will make it easy for you here is an 8 page thread exactly the same

[Kwasaki]

Go home !!!! certainly not, the bars aren't open at 9:00 am.

[dave111223]

The topic should be "You know you've been on Thai Visa too long when..."

Answer "You've seen this same topic posted 20 times"

[bkkfoxi]

Being Thai sound that bad to you ?

move then , good luck

ps, this should not even be in the general topic - too silly

/close

[MSingh]

Written by an American..

But true huh?...

For the particular Environment & level of Society he's talking about being in, yeah i suppose so..

[robblok]

Being Thai sound that bad to you ?

move then , good luck

ps, this should not even be in the general topic - too silly

/close

Some parts of being Thai are quite nice.. being able to own land and dont have all those crazy restrictions on work. But if it means assimilating then no way. I will always be different from Thais.

[sillyman99]

I will always be different from Thais.

Ugly, Miserable, Cantankerous, Pompous, with an unreasonable amount of self importance all combined with an unpleasant odor ?

Yep, Farangs sure are different to Thais.

[KeyserSoze01]

^ Quite right. Most falang don't believe they are the center of the universe.

[craigt3365]

Go home !!!! certainly not, the bars aren't open at 9:00 am.

They are in my hometown...Vegas! 24x7, 365 days a year. Gets a lot of people in trouble for sure....

[carmine]

I will always be different from Thais.

Ugly, Miserable, Cantankerous, Pompous, with an unreasonable amount of self importance all combined with an unpleasant odor ?

Yep, Farangs sure are different to Thais.

I have never found Thais to have a particularily bad odour.

[MSingh]

I will always be different from Thais.

Ugly, Miserable, Cantankerous, Pompous, with an unreasonable amount of self importance all combined with an unpleasant odor ?

Yep, Farangs sure are different to Thais.

I have never found Thais to have a particularily bad odour.

Next time i see you, just remind me to tell you a story about Pattaya..