To save opening a new topic everytime a player breaks a fingernail.

bert "butterfingers" bristow , relegation favourites grimesthorpes gallant goalmouth guardian , reportedly missed training this morning.

when he arrived at the training ground two hours late , bert , 47, who lost an eye ten years ago in an unfortunate picture frame hanging accident , said his wife wouldnt let him out of the house until he had finished the washing up and the hoovering.

grimesthorpes next game is at home against arch rivals mudbury rovers in the fourth round of the braithwaites sausage and blood pudding cup.

anticipated crowd trouble has forced police to close grimesthorpes slagheap end stand for the match.

bert "butterfingers" bristow , relegation favourites grimesthorpes  gallant goalmouth guardian , reportedly missed training this morning.

when he arrived at the training ground two hours late , bert , 47,  who lost an eye ten years ago in an unfortunate picture frame hanging accident , said his wife wouldnt let him out of the house until he had finished the washing up and the hoovering.

grimesthorpes next game is at home against arch rivals mudbury rovers in the fourth round of the braithwaites sausage and blood pudding cup.

anticipated crowd trouble has forced police to close grimesthorpes slagheap end stand for the match.

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Doesn't matter, I've got them down for a score draw anyway. That's after I dropped Henry and Duff and put in Ponsenby-Smythe and Thrustletwaite

put in Ponsenby-Smythe and Thrustletwaite

havent you heard , pierre thrustlethwaites been sold , he was caught "on the nest"

with doris "hows your father" khan , the chairmans wife. he had to go.

put in Ponsenby-Smythe and Thrustletwaite

havent you heard , pierre thrustlethwaites been sold , he was caught "on the nest"

with doris "hows your father" khan , the chairmans wife. he had to go.

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Oh No!!!!!!!!! I hope Doris is alright. She's my goalkeeper

Thanks Old Croc. But i wonder did i post when Beckham broke his foot? But i also see u and Lampard10 starting threads about Ashes and cricket every match they win or lose.

Thanks Old Croc. But i wonder did i post when Beckham broke his foot? But i also see u and Lampard10 starting threads about Ashes and cricket every match they win or lose.

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Actually it was me that asked for all the threads to be made into one.

Thanks Old Croc. But i wonder did i post when Beckham broke his foot? But i also see u and Lampard10 starting threads about Ashes and cricket every match they win or lose.

It's all in good fun mate Thats the thing about sports, you can take the piss without noses getting too far out of joint Some old fart made a special thread for me once to put all my whinging remarks.

Some old fart made a special thread for me once to put all my whinging remarks.

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Come off it stop telling porkies. There's never been a thread that long