Liking Isaan, And My New Family

[CNXpuuyaibaan]

Nonesense, suggest you mean 10 miserable stories of lust gone sour.

both often mistook for each other - you tell me how you can 'love' someone within a few days - it's children's fairytale stuff - and get married when you met only a few hours? you don't believe in the tooth fairy do you?

[Royspurs]

Nonesense, suggest you mean 10 miserable stories of lust gone sour.

both often mistook for each other - you tell me how you can 'love' someone within a few days - it's children's fairytale stuff - and get married when you met only a few hours? you don't believe in the tooth fairy do you?

CNXpuuyaibaan, the OP had already said it was 2 years ago, so your advice/example was hard to understand.

I think aazz09 mentioned that we are all a product of our environment, you can name 10 failed relationships to every 1 good one....................so I think the tooth fairly is more believable than your advice to be honest.

[sarahsbloke]

both often mistook for each other - you tell me how you can 'love' someone within a few days - it's children's fairytale stuff - and get married when you met only a few hours? you don't believe in the tooth fairy do you?

Well for a start, love is not a rational feeling that you can consider or think about.

If you need to take time to think about if you love someone, then you don't love them.

You either do or you don't, it's very strong and it's often instant, you don't even need to talk to a person first.

I think quite a lot of people have never known love.

Friendship happens the same way, you don't often learn to become someone's friend over a period of time.

When you meet someone, you like them or dislike them almost instantly, and rarely change that initial opinion.

[zzaa09]

both often mistook for each other - you tell me how you can 'love' someone within a few days - it's children's fairytale stuff - and get married when you met only a few hours? you don't believe in the tooth fairy do you?

Well for a start, love is not a rational feeling that you can consider or think about.

If you need to take time to think about if you love someone, then you don't love them.

You either do or you don't, it's very strong and it's often instant, you don't even need to talk to a person first.

I think quite a lot of people have never known love.

Friendship happens the same way, you don't often learn to become someone's friend over a period of time.

When you meet someone, you like them or dislike them almost instantly, and rarely change that initial opinion.

Yes, love cannot be scientifically dissected, analyzed, or studied. It just is....or isn't.

[soihok]

Nice zen style description of love, nice one.

Cheers Tom, great to actually hear someone that is happy with their lot.

Been married for 10 years myself

[bolx]

Congratulations, I think there are plenty of happy people in Thailand and with Thai women, but you are much more likely to hear the bad stories, they're more interesting. Doesn't mean the majority are bad.

[bina]

cmx and others,

love is not always what makes a good marriage. love as in caring and fondness as opposed to that burning crazy sensation that is love/lust/desire.

i live in a country that arranged marriages are common among both jews and muslems, and they have a high success rate because, not as someone put it,

Friendship happens the same way, you don't often learn to become someone's friend over a period of time.

When you meet someone, you like them or dislike them almost instantly, and rarely change that initial opinion.

this isnt true. often, the best friendships are with people that u had to take time to get to know and learn about them, and those that in the beginning u thought were great people, good friends, etc, proved to be superficial, easy come easy go types that are initially attractive but wear off fast.

marriages here are often done by meeting only once or twice previous to the wedding, although correspondance may be for a year or so before hand. the love that develops, and it does, comes from the daily interactions and crisis that the couple manages to work through. a great story is a good friend of mine's parents, married in morrocco , both from well to do families, she gave birth to my friend when she was 15 (the mother), she was 14! when married, he 17, arranged between two similar families. came to israel with nothing, had eight more children my friend being the oldest, lots of grandkids, still fond of eachother and satisfied as a couple. started with a plow horse and some land...

in fiddler on the roof, the man asks his wife if she loves him after all these years: then each states all that they have gone thru together, cooking,cleaning, illness, marriages, births... after all these years if that isnt love, then what is? ....

so who knows?

bina

[sarahsbloke]

in fiddler on the roof, the man asks his wife if she loves him after all these years: then each states all that they have gone thru together, cooking,cleaning, illness, marriages, births... after all these years if that isnt love, then what is? ....

so who knows?

bina

I would call it a successful business partnership.

Edited May 9, 2011 by sarahsbloke

[Thaddeus]

in fiddler on the roof, the man asks his wife if she loves him after all these years: then each states all that they have gone thru together, cooking,cleaning, illness, marriages, births... after all these years if that isnt love, then what is? ....

so who knows?

bina

Squeeze have a good grip on it (excuse the pun, I didn't pick their name)

You've left my ring by the soap, now is that love?

You cleaned me out you could say broke, now is that love?

The better, better, better it gets, the more these girls forget that that is love

You won't get dressed you walk about, now is that, is that

A teasing glance has pushed me out, now is that, is that

The tougher, tougher, tougher it gets

The more my lips frequent, now that is love.

Beat me up with your letters, your walkout notes

Funny how you still find me right here at home.

Legs up with a book and a drink, now is that love that's making you think.

You've called my bluff I'm not so hot, now is that love

My assets froze while yours have dropped, now is that, is that

It's the cupid, cupid, cupid disguise that more or less survived, now that is love.

Beat me up with your letters, your walk out notes,

Funny how you still find me right here at home.

Legs up with a book and a drink, now is that love that's making you think.

You've made my bed the finger points, now is that, is that love

The more you more you more you cool down

The easier love is found, now that is love.

[isanbirder]

Bina, the reason why arranged marriages so often work well is that the expectations of both parties are not as high as in a love marriage. If a couple go into a marriage realising that they have got to work at it to make it succeed, they may well be more successful than a couple who think they are entering paradise, and find that it's just not so.

[jocsum]

Seventeen years of bliss, a few minor spats (as all good marriages have. I wish you all the best, congratulations and enjoy. :jap:

[soihok]

Great song Thaddeus, I saw Squeeze play live back in the mid 80's.

Nice one.

[EirikJohannesen]

I know there is a lot of happy Farangs her in Thailand, but it looks like only the unhappy peaple share it. Its easy to write when you are angry and upset, when you are happy you do other stuff. whit your fam. I have lived here for 20 years and speak fluent Thai. I have good days and bad days, I think my famlie is average. I love my wife and she loves me, we are happy but we also have problems some times whit in laws but we solve the problems every time.

I have married a girl I love so I share my money whit here, I have not purchased a wife who only need food. I am shamed of many farangs who can not share there wealth whit in laws.Am not talking millions but daily living. Many Thai girls marrie for money, but they will fall in love whit you, they only want a better life like you think you get a better life whit a Thaigirl.

Isaangirls are poor, why will you marrie one if you want pay for them? Is the girl only a housemade for sex?

My understandings after 20 years in Thailand is that to many farangs are cheeeepCharlie NR.1 and only want a Isaansexslave for free.

Learn Thai and understand the culture and you will have a good life in Thailand, leave your farangbrain in farangland

Almost every time I se girls rip of farang housbond for house and money is becuse farangman have done stupid things and pissed of here famlie.

For sure OP will have a good life in Thailand, best luck:)

[isanbirder]

Good post, Eirik. So many people here marry a Thai wife, often a bargirl, and then go off to Pattaya at any opportunity. What on earth do they expect?

[zzaa09]

Bina, the reason why arranged marriages so often work well is that the expectations of both parties are not as high as in a love marriage. If a couple go into a marriage realising that they have got to work at it to make it succeed, they may well be more successful than a couple who think they are entering paradise, and find that it's just not so.

Then, your suggestion that love might get in the way of any "working" relationship, yes?

[zzaa09]

Good post, Eirik. So many people here marry a Thai wife, often a bargirl, and then go off to Pattaya at any opportunity. What on earth do they expect?

Sadly, this is far too common where it has become accepted.

Would these fellows play the same game in their Western homes?

[cardholder]

Good post, Eirik. So many people here marry a Thai wife, often a bargirl, and then go off to Pattaya at any opportunity. What on earth do they expect?

Sadly, this is far too common where it has become accepted.

Would these fellows play the same game in their Western homes?

I imagine those that play the game in their own country will also play that game in Thailand.

In Thailand it is easier to play that game.

[cardholder]

in fiddler on the roof, the man asks his wife if she loves him after all these years: then each states all that they have gone thru together, cooking,cleaning, illness, marriages, births... after all these years if that isnt love, then what is? ....

so who knows?

bina

I don't think it is any use asking Haddaway:-

My link

What is love

Oh baby, don't hurt me

Don't hurt me no more

Oh, baby don't hurt me

Don't hurt me no more

What is love

Yeah

Oh, I don't know why you're not there

I give you my love, but you don't care

So what is right and what is wrong

Gimme a sign

What is love

Oh baby, don't hurt me

Don't hurt me no more

What is love

Oh baby, don't hurt me

Don't hurt me no more

Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh

Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh

Oh, I don't know, what can I do

What else can I say, it's up to you

I know we're one, just me and you

I can't go on

What is love

Oh baby, don't hurt me

Don't hurt me no more

What is love

Oh baby, don't hurt me

Don't hurt me no more

Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh

Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh

What is love, oooh, oooh, oooh

What is love, oooh, oooh, oooh

What is love

Oh baby, don't hurt me

Don't hurt me no more

Don't hurt me

Don't hurt me

I want no other, no other lover

This is your life, our time

When we are together, I need you forever

Is it love

What is love

Oh baby, don't hurt me

Don't hurt me no more

What is love

Oh baby, don't hurt me

Don't hurt me no more (oooh, oooh)

What is love

Oh baby, don't hurt me

Don't hurt me no more

What is love

Oh baby, don't hurt me

Don't hurt me no more (oooh, oooh)

What is love?

[EirikJohannesen]

Good post, Eirik. So many people here marry a Thai wife, often a bargirl, and then go off to Pattaya at any opportunity. What on earth do they expect?

Sadly, this is far too common where it has become accepted.

Would these fellows play the same game in their Western homes?

I imagine those that play the game in their own country will also play that game in Thailand.

In Thailand it is easier to play that game.

And Farang is the looser in the end, we se it here on internet daily.......................

Somtimes I just wonder who is the educated part?

[isanbirder]

Bina, the reason why arranged marriages so often work well is that the expectations of both parties are not as high as in a love marriage. If a couple go into a marriage realising that they have got to work at it to make it succeed, they may well be more successful than a couple who think they are entering paradise, and find that it's just not so.

Then, your suggestion that love might get in the way of any "working" relationship, yes?

Indeed no, zzaa! As so often, you read things into a post which were never there!

[EirikJohannesen]

Many years ago when I first met my wife I was talking to my mother on telphone, we had a good laughter and conversation, my wife was so proud of me, even she couldent understand what we was saying and she wanted me to send here money:) Imagine that farang if your wife refuse you to talk and help YOUR OWN mother, what about that!!!!!

I let my wife deside how she will take care of here parents, and she know how much money we can spend so its never a problem. Typical they got 5000B a month, if they want more go to the bank for a loan and use the 5000B as downpayment.And they are so happy whit it:)

My Nr 1 rule is to keep my wife happy, She never ask me for money, she have my Visacard She thinks its here money, and no one messes whit here money.I am never broke she is much better whit money then I am She even save money.. Its all about making an agreement whit your wife, if money are more importan than your wife you shold consider to live alone.

You learn to fly before you by a helicopter dont you?

The best way to piss of your wife is to tell here that here parents are bad, a safe way to divorce. You can say that you not agree whit them, thats ok. And remember that Thai has no problem to take "NO" as an answers, just do it polite. its no shame for a Thai to ask for money everybody do it, its common here they are not bad. You just have to learn how to deal whit it.

You cant beat the Thais they will not change there lifestyle becuse of you, join them and have a good life.

[transam]

Just make sure the other offspring contribute the same amount eh.

[cardholder]

Many years ago when I first met my wife I was talking to my mother on telphone, we had a good laughter and conversation, my wife was so proud of me, even she couldent understand what we was saying and she wanted me to send here money:) Imagine that farang if your wife refuse you to talk and help YOUR OWN mother, what about that!!!!!

I let my wife deside how she will take care of here parents, and she know how much money we can spend so its never a problem. Typical they got 5000B a month, if they want more go to the bank for a loan and use the 5000B as downpayment.And they are so happy whit it:)

My Nr 1 rule is to keep my wife happy, She never ask me for money, she have my Visacard She thinks its here money, and no one messes whit here money.I am never broke she is much better whit money then I am She even save money.. Its all about making an agreement whit your wife, if money are more importan than your wife you shold consider to live alone.

You learn to fly before you by a helicopter dont you?

The best way to piss of your wife is to tell here that here parents are bad, a safe way to divorce. You can say that you not agree whit them, thats ok. And remember that Thai has no problem to take "NO" as an answers, just do it polite. its no shame for a Thai to ask for money everybody do it, its common here they are not bad. You just have to learn how to deal whit it.

You cant beat the Thais they will not change there lifestyle becuse of you, join them and have a good life.

Are there any more like you in your village Eirik ? The wife's sister is looking for a new Falang.

[zzaa09]

Many years ago when I first met my wife I was talking to my mother on telphone, we had a good laughter and conversation, my wife was so proud of me, even she couldent understand what we was saying and she wanted me to send here money:) Imagine that farang if your wife refuse you to talk and help YOUR OWN mother, what about that!!!!!

I let my wife deside how she will take care of here parents, and she know how much money we can spend so its never a problem. Typical they got 5000B a month, if they want more go to the bank for a loan and use the 5000B as downpayment.And they are so happy whit it:)

My Nr 1 rule is to keep my wife happy, She never ask me for money, she have my Visacard She thinks its here money, and no one messes whit here money.I am never broke she is much better whit money then I am She even save money.. Its all about making an agreement whit your wife, if money are more importan than your wife you shold consider to live alone.

You learn to fly before you by a helicopter dont you?

The best way to piss of your wife is to tell here that here parents are bad, a safe way to divorce. You can say that you not agree whit them, thats ok. And remember that Thai has no problem to take "NO" as an answers, just do it polite. its no shame for a Thai to ask for money everybody do it, its common here they are not bad. You just have to learn how to deal whit it.

You cant beat the Thais they will not change there lifestyle becuse of you, join them and have a good life.

Are there any more like you in your village Eirik ? The wife's sister is looking for a new Falang.

A new Farang.....trading in the "older" model?

[painterscabin]

I know there is a lot of happy Farangs her in Thailand, but it looks like only the unhappy peaple share it. Its easy to write when you are angry and upset, when you are happy you do other stuff. whit your fam. I have lived here for 20 years and speak fluent Thai. I have good days and bad days, I think my famlie is average. I love my wife and she loves me, we are happy but we also have problems some times whit in laws but we solve the problems every time.

I have married a girl I love so I share my money whit here, I have not purchased a wife who only need food. I am shamed of many farangs who can not share there wealth whit in laws.Am not talking millions but daily living. Many Thai girls marrie for money, but they will fall in love whit you, they only want a better life like you think you get a better life whit a Thaigirl.

Isaangirls are poor, why will you marrie one if you want pay for them? Is the girl only a housemade for sex?

My understandings after 20 years in Thailand is that to many farangs are cheeeepCharlie NR.1 and only want a Isaansexslave for free.

Learn Thai and understand the culture and you will have a good life in Thailand, leave your farangbrain in farangland

Almost every time I se girls rip of farang housbond for house and money is becuse farangman have done stupid things and pissed of here famlie.

For sure OP will have a good life in Thailand, best luck:)

Thanks, I was'nt going to come back on again, but liked what you had to say. Yes being married is a family thing here in thailand, and giving to and loving that family is apart of life. When I married my wife I got a great family as well. I've rebuilt my father inlaws house after the 2008 flood, and this year he has work so very hard building our house. The whole family pitches in, weve all tied rebar, hauled rock and sand, mixed cement , you see we all put something into the building of the house, just like the relationships we share. Oh by the way, I look forward to the day I can speak fluent thai. thank, again

[fatfather]

sounds like there are a lot of guy scattered around with happy marriages, enjoying life, family life in Isaan.

Add me to the list

Me as well. Best Luck for you

fatfather

[SweatySock]

Congrats to the OP.

For me it's 6 years together, 2 beautiful kids and a Thai family who couldn't be more helpful and caring.

[Mugg]

it's not 1st April is it? Thailovelinks? yes many of us are on there - be interesting to hear your perspective after 5 years - never met her? now I've heard it all

The OP said

After a four month phone courtship

This is probably more communication then most people have with the wives in 3 - 4 years of marriage. Love is not a mysterious entity, it is pure and simple. Given enough crap piled on something will make most anything obscure. The OP has jumped ahead of many people by using only his ears and what few photos that may have been exchanged.

Many people in the bleachers will always see things that the players on the field are blind to, does this make it any less of a game for the players?