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The Government has announced the formation of a new body, the Ministry of Crackdowns, to oversee the announcement of all future crackdowns.

Jaitong Chaoeronthaitongdeepratetdeekul will oversee the new entity.

“We felt that it was important to give the new Ministry full announcement powers,” he said. “It seems some people have misunderstood previous crackdowns.”

“Some thought we were cracked, while others thought we had Down’s Syndrome, and some said we are on crack, and that is simply not the case -- we’re going have to crack down on that.”

He added that Ministry status will give the announcements more power because are not always noted due to their lack of forethought or enforcement capabilities.

“Some people have thought they can ignore these crackdowns and go on with their normal lives,” he said.

The first of his daily crackdowns announced yesterday was on bald people. “It is bad for the country’s image to have all these people walking around without any hair on,” he said.

The second was on public discussion of the country’s plants and animals. “This is our heritage, after all,” he noted.

The Ministry has been formulated as a sub-hub along with the Ministry of Hubs under the umbrella of the larger Ministry of Social Order and Thought Chaos.

“We have much to do,” he said, but added that he can see a day when the Ministry will no longer be needed.

“Yes, there could be a day when we have to crack down on crackdowns, but I believe that will happen only after we achieve full hub status.”

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