Serious Question About Relationship With Thai Gf, Serious Replies Please.

[cattoc]

.... hmm lets give an example. years ago I would go shopping with her in MBK. Pratunam..Chatuchak.. chinatown.. I would wander around .. go up to vendors and ask for prices. complain about this and that... divert down one aisle look at the things I liked ..while the Mrs would be heading up another looking for the things that were really needed - get lost for an hour. Then,,,, Bam! with out any obvious reason she would go into a sulk.. I would question, nag, persist to find out her feelings... hours days of silence. Now that is all fixed.. she can say clearly.. "God help me [ed.... nice touch of inluencing her religious beliefs cattoc!] - why do have to go shopping with an idiot...." see problem fo sulks solved!

[David48]

the flower in the vase may not look as good as it does in the ground.

I know a joke about that - very tenuous link, I know - I'll not bother you with the whole story, but the punch line goes "Don't be daft, you must have a vase somewhere".

SC

SC ... post the joke/story over at ... http://www.thaivisa....es-make-my-day/

Edited March 31, 2012 by David48

[David48]

To all the posters here ... Shane is looking for a Visa agent ...

[ShanePashen]

Well for what it's worth. I feel at this stage of my life, I'm gonna do what makes me happy, too many people I know have died in the last year, or are dying.

I feel it's almost like a message from god or within myself..

I know this seems cliched but I feel a special connection with her.

we talk daily, and message each other constantly.

I think some people lost sight of the fact that we were introduced by mutual friends, we didn't meet in soi crocodile off Bangla rd, with me sticking 100 baht notes down her knickers, and then paying a bar fine.

She has high morals and has a wonderful love of life, and I feel a deep love for her, and feel she has that for me as well.

The flower may not look as good in the vase as the ground, true, but what then, just leave the flower to wilt, and never wonder how it would look in the vase?

Maybe it would look better in the vase.

I still see what i am doing as financially risk free, emotionally there is always a big risk of one or two people getting hurt.

I have this inner feeling that I just know it's going to work out for us.

There is only one sticking point, she feels she would like a child, I have raised 3 beautiful children, and my youngest is now verging on 16.

I don't feel I am prepared to start a new family at this point in my life.

I guess we need to discuss that at more length.

My goal is to now get her over here for 3 mths, keep working, hope she likes it here, without lethal som tam, and no cats, rats, or dogs to eat

yes I will send some money to her parents for those 3 mths she can't work, My choice I'm a big boy now.

Let's see what happens in a normal living Aussie environment, and see if she even likes it here.

If it all goes pear shaped, I guess we both shuffle on, and I end up in Soi crocodile next time, with a silly grin on my face, and lots of 100 baht notes.

[BookMan]

Well for what it's worth. I feel at this stage of my life, I'm gonna do what makes me happy, too many people I know have died in the last year, or are dying.

I feel it's almost like a message from god or within myself..

I know this seems cliched but I feel a special connection with her.

we talk daily, and message each other constantly.

I think some people lost sight of the fact that we were introduced by mutual friends, we didn't meet in soi crocodile off Bangla rd, with me sticking 100 baht notes down her knickers, and then paying a bar fine.

She has high morals and has a wonderful love of life, and I feel a deep love for her, and feel she has that for me as well.

The flower may not look as good in the vase as the ground, true, but what then, just leave the flower to wilt, and never wonder how it would look in the vase?

Maybe it would look better in the vase.

I still see what i am doing as financially risk free, emotionally there is always a big risk of one or two people getting hurt.

I have this inner feeling that I just know it's going to work out for us.

There is only one sticking point, she feels she would like a child, I have raised 3 beautiful children, and my youngest is now verging on 16.

I don't feel I am prepared to start a new family at this point in my life.

I guess we need to discuss that at more length.

My goal is to now get her over here for 3 mths, keep working, hope she likes it here, without lethal som tam, and no cats, rats, or dogs to eat

yes I will send some money to her parents for those 3 mths she can't work, My choice I'm a big boy now.

Let's see what happens in a normal living Aussie environment, and see if she even likes it here.

If it all goes pear shaped, I guess we both shuffle on, and I end up in Soi crocodile next time, with a silly grin on my face, and lots of 100 baht notes.

Good luck Shane. if it is making you happy go with it. It's your life to do as you want.

I don't know is she will make it through the som tam withdrawals for 3 months though...

Keep us updated

[BookMan]

If it all goes pear shaped, I guess we both shuffle on, and I end up in Soi crocodile next time, with a silly grin on my face, and lots of 100 baht notes.

P.S. if it does go pear shaped lets hope you don't end up in Soi crocodile stuffing 100 baht notes down her pants!!!

[punch]

Men look only at beauty, women look how much doe you have. Just a general rule.

I was thinking to write a guide on how to get girls in Thailand easy, not bar girls, but I need to learn how to be patient and stick with one...

Also the location is so so important. You need to pick up in the area that many farangs live. Otherwise you are screwed. You will not get any girls in a remote location that have never spoken with farang. Foget it.

Also they need to know english.

I have shoot few videos about my ex girls, and take pictures of almost all of them, one night stands are not included. If anybody wants to buy a guide like that, please let me know.

I dont need a guide but i would love to read you book mate.. i have read a lot of your posts and your a funny man.

[BookMan]

Men look only at beauty, women look how much doe you have. Just a general rule.

I was thinking to write a guide on how to get girls in Thailand easy, not bar girls, but I need to learn how to be patient and stick with one...

Also the location is so so important. You need to pick up in the area that many farangs live. Otherwise you are screwed. You will not get any girls in a remote location that have never spoken with farang. Foget it.

Also they need to know english.

I have shoot few videos about my ex girls, and take pictures of almost all of them, one night stands are not included. If anybody wants to buy a guide like that, please let me know.

I dont need a guide but i would love to read you book mate.. i have read a lot of your posts and your a funny man.

Is there something blossoming here?

[Litlos]

For what it is worth Shane I am heading back Aust tomorrow with TGF in tow for the second time. I applied for a 3 month single entry for her last year and they gave a 12 month multi so no excuse for not taking her . Some of the things I did before her first trip was find a couple of good asian supply stores, my area has a lot of asians at university so no problem. First thing was take her to asian supply store after a quick look around the house. Well it was a new wok, rice bran oil for cooking, real Thai chilli's (in freezer?), favourite brand of oyster sauce etc etc, she had a ball buying this and that and even got some mama noodles. So then off to butcher, green grocer etc, 3 hours later she has everything she wants with very little input from me and even found some kapow (Basil), most of it cheap as chips as well. That night cooking Thai food and smiling, OK it is not Thailand, but she can prepare food she likes. I already had a rice cooker so no need for one of those, which got me a nod of approval, also you can find Thai jasmine rice in most supermarkets as well, I just had to show that is was Thai Hom Mali and no problem.

Must have been happy as she insisted on coming back for second trip. The other thing I did was ensure she had some female friends she knows for meeting or phoning, some Thai, some wives of my friends. I use Italk for ringing back to Thailand for the calls, maybe not the cheapest, but reliable. Also get her to get some Thai music CD's/DVD's to bring with her.

Cheers

[ShanePashen]

@ littlos yes will be doing those things, and getting the little tins of salted crabs as well.

There is quite a large Vietnamese community at Inala, and I have it on good authority green papaya is readily available there.

I will also start a chills farm and get a kaffir lime tree, grow some Thai basil as well.

Now just need to get a dam_n Visa for her, and all is solved

[Litlos]

I tried growing Thai chilli, to good a soil and to much water and so not spicy, I can eat it like sugar snap peas so an epic fail on the spicy scale. It appears there is an art in growing Thai chilli.

Green Papaya is something I have not found in Perth. The main supplier I use in in Perth is Kongs and sort of generic asian, has all sorts of asian supplies, I will bet there is something similar in QLD. The only time my TGF has been really interested in eating crabs is after I introduced her to curried crab a few months ago, like tinned tuna though. Not counting the black sour crab in Somtam.

If you want some hints or a least how I approached the visa issue for my TGF send me a PM. It may take a couple of days to answer as I will be in transit and then busy once back in Oz. Just not in the mood to put that sort of info on public and have the detractors etc.

Cheers

[ShanePashen]

I tried growing Thai chilli, to good a soil and to much water and so not spicy, I can eat it like sugar snap peas so an epic fail on the spicy scale. It appears there is an art in growing Thai chilli.

Green Papaya is something I have not found in Perth. The main supplier I use in in Perth is Kongs and sort of generic asian, has all sorts of asian supplies, I will bet there is something similar in QLD. The only time my TGF has been really interested in eating crabs is after I introduced her to curried crab a few months ago, like tinned tuna though. Not counting the black sour crab in Somtam.

If you want some hints or a least how I approached the visa issue for my TGF send me a PM. It may take a couple of days to answer as I will be in transit and then busy once back in Oz. Just not in the mood to put that sort of info on public and have the detractors etc.

Cheers

OK will do, regarding the Pm, I need all the help I can get with that one, trying to build up our case now.

[loong]

There is only one sticking point, she feels she would like a child, I have raised 3 beautiful children, and my youngest is now verging on 16.

I don't feel I am prepared to start a new family at this point in my life.

I guess we need to discuss that at more length.

You can discuss it as much as you like but don't forget that she is in control of the womb.

From your first post...

She is also happy to not have any children, i have 3 from my only marriage

So she lied to you. Possibly just telling you what you want to hear until she has you well and truly hooked.

If you don't get a vasectomy, you can look forward to paying alimony/child support until your late 60's at least.

.

[ShanePashen]

There is only one sticking point, she feels she would like a child, I have raised 3 beautiful children, and my youngest is now verging on 16.

I don't feel I am prepared to start a new family at this point in my life.

I guess we need to discuss that at more length.

You can discuss it as much as you like but don't forget that she is in control of the womb.

From your first post...

She is also happy to not have any children, i have 3 from my only marriage

So she lied to you. Possibly just telling you what you want to hear until she has you well and truly hooked.

If you don't get a vasectomy, you can look forward to paying alimony/child support until your late 60's at least.

.

You make a valid point, yes at first she said she didn't want kids, but has since confided in me, that she would like a child.

I guess it's something we really need to be open about and talk out.

[David48]

Shane ... the great advice keeps flowing in for you ...

Oh ... he is also looking for advice with pre-nups.

You can assist him here ...

[David48]

How about an update?

Wern't you heading back over there nowish?

David48

[2unique]

A good read - I'm glad the family and her won't be penalised because you want her over in Oz...

Hope it all works out and becomes a boring boy meets girl story

I agree with Cattoc on the "sweary" thing but beware - it took 3 years but the day my wife called me an arrogant arsehol_e with a London accent in the middle of an argument I burst out laughing - she didn't!!!

[ShanePashen]

For anyone who is interested, I just got back after 2 weeks together, based in BKK, and am happy to say we were married at the bang rak lucky amphoe on June 11th.

Which was our plan.

Had an awesome time, highlights included a trip road to Lop Buri, and also Ayuthaya.

676 holiday and 300 partner visas are being lodged this week.

looking forward to having her here about end of june start of august, for 3 mths

.

[David48]

Shane, thanks for coming pack and posting your experiences and MARRIED ... WOW.

Congratulations are in order I suppose ...

With your Visa, if you are using an Agent, you might want to share your experiences as there is precious little about Australian Visas and using an Agent.

There heaps of posts about Marriage in thailand and the documents you need to get translated etc.

So was it a 'Village' wedding, or a 'legal' wedding ... or both?

Good Luck with all things ...

[ShanePashen]

Thankyou David48, we both couldn't be happier.

It was , a legal marriage. as opposed to a wedding, this will come later in both Oz and in Thailand.

I would like to thank both Bridge Migration for handling our applications, and also Sunbelt Lawyers for helping with certain legal requirements I needed.

I cannot speak highly enough about both of these parties, Thank you so much both Richard and Emile.

I doubt anyone would find more highly competent professionals in these chosen fields

The future looks great for us, we are both over the moon..

[Warhammer820]

Whoa married, didn't expect that one. Congrats on your marriage. I've been with my Thai gf for a little over 3 years and love her very much. Good luck with your future and hope all the visa stuff works out ok.

[AnandaSatvha]

Very ethnocentric of you transam.

I thought it was a forum for people who wanted to discuss issues relating to Thailand regardless of ethnic background.

Just because you and other members are cynical whore chasers and associate with gold digging sluts doesn't mean that is even close to representative of Thai woman or culture.

Tolstoy that is absolute Gold

SC I have recently tried to bring her to my country to see if she could adapt and like it here.

However my country's immigration Dept, had other ideas about that and rejected her visa application. We plan on retrying at a later date.

Ludditeman, you make a valid point, she was between jobs at that point.

And yes I subsidised everything as well.

i AM TRYING TO KEEP IT ALL IN PERSPECTIVE. feel I don't want to be used, played or even look a fool in my own mind.

. She really does seems a good girl

I will see her very soon and hopefully more layers will be revealed, i have no problem contacting her whenever i want, and talk to her daily basis.

You need a tester? Give me her phone number brother and I will give her a call for free, charge it to my phone. She sounds like a GREAT woman though, u better love her dearly..

[Rsquared]

For anyone who is interested, I just got back after 2 weeks together, based in BKK, and am happy to say we were married at the bang rak lucky amphoe on June 11th.

Which was our plan.

Had an awesome time, highlights included a trip road to Lop Buri, and also Ayuthaya.

676 holiday and 300 partner visas are being lodged this week.

looking forward to having her here about end of june start of august, for 3 mths

.

Also big congrats to you Shane. I was just scanning some topics (as I'm sure we all do) and must admit haven't followed your thread with earnest, but after I noticed that you are now happily married, I took the time to go back and read all the posts on this thread.....

......and must say it has to be one of the more pleasurable reads by far.

Well done to you again Shane and well done to all the TV members who contributed. Sorry I didn't get involved earlier.

Cheers.

[ShanePashen]

For anyone who is interested, I just got back after 2 weeks together, based in BKK, and am happy to say we were married at the bang rak lucky amphoe on June 11th.

Which was our plan.

Had an awesome time, highlights included a trip road to Lop Buri, and also Ayuthaya.

676 holiday and 300 partner visas are being lodged this week.

looking forward to having her here about end of june start of august, for 3 mths

.

Also big congrats to you Shane. I was just scanning some topics (as I'm sure we all do) and must admit haven't followed your thread with earnest, but after I noticed that you are now happily married, I took the time to go back and read all the posts on this thread.....

......and must say it has to be one of the more pleasurable reads by far.

Well done to you again Shane and well done to all the TV members who contributed. Sorry I didn't get involved earlier.

Cheers.

Thanks, she will be here with me in Brisbane on July 30th.

Looking forward to it very much, as is she.

We are both so happy!

[Razzler1973]

That's cool.

From reading the thread from the start and now you're married. Wow, pleased for you and hope it all works out well

[mackes]

Oaw, that was a quick one, you really gone for it. You seem to be an honest and fair man so I really hope for your sake that this will turns out like you think. But what's the heck, if you never dare you never win. I did a quick one myself two years ago and I now live in Isaan and am as happy as I think I can be. No clouds in the sky!

Good luck!

[2unique]

to many long term expats here in Thailand a quick marriage usually suggests necessity or an auction mentality of snapping "it" up before someone else does.

Back in the mid 90s I met a girl in a football chatroom who turned out to be Thai - long story short I decided to have a 3 month sabatical in Thailand. I sent her money to rent me an apartment, install phone lines and cable tv. She'd got he sums wrong and requested more money. I happily sent the money as I'd never heard of any type of Thai scams.

I arrived in Thailand and ... everything was as she'd said. We ended up dating for a year before my Western pride failed to deal with her mother and put her in a position of choosing between. But in all that time she was honest, faithful and never asked for money - I used to hide money in her purse - despite working long hours for (to my western mind) small pay.

Sometimes by luck or judgement you get a good one out the box so I post my story for you ShanePashen and wish you well...

[tolstoy]

"I just got back after 2 weeks together,"

good luck.

I think that you are a fool for moving so fast, but both my brother and father seem to fall in love that fast and get married as fast as that. I just take things much slower.

You did say that you were divorced already. I don't know why you would rush back into marriage again. I love being married but I wouldn't do it again.

I wonder if you will be back on here whining and complaining about Thais this and that... if the relationship doesn't work.

Of course you are both happy right now. You are newly weds. The problems won't arise for at least 6 months to a year.

[ShanePashen]

"I just got back after 2 weeks together,"

good luck.

I think that you are a fool for moving so fast, but both my brother and father seem to fall in love that fast and get married as fast as that. I just take things much slower.

You did say that you were divorced already. I don't know why you would rush back into marriage again. I love being married but I wouldn't do it again.

I wonder if you will be back on here whining and complaining about Thais this and that... if the relationship doesn't work.

Of course you are both happy right now. You are newly weds. The problems won't arise for at least 6 months to a year.

Well perhaps you may be right. I am too wise to say that couldn't possibly happen to me.

I can't predict the future, and I know all too well about the fragility and temporal nature of relationships.

This was not a step I took lightly, I put a great deal of thought into it all.

If it does fail ultimately, you will not hear me whining, I will blame myself.

However, I chose to embark upon the course and time frame I did.

No one else knows the relationship we have together or the happiness I feel we share when we are together.

I am not looking for a long distance relationship, I am also not looking for a time share in a Thai girl (or girls), where I am one of many sponsors who gets his 2-4 weeks a year of being "taken care of".

I am looking for something of more substance, our marriage will face many challenges, as all do, cultural differences may enhance these, but in some ways may alleviate some as well.

When I first came on this site, my now wife was accused of being everything from a whore, to a mercenary, simply because she had moved from Bangkok to Phuket to take a decent job.

So many people on here told me, that I even began to second guess it myself.

I reiterate the introduction that was made by my friends wife, who is now a permanent resident in Australia.

In other words I didn't meet her by sticking 100 baht notes down her g string on Soi crocodile, or Bangla!

She had no problem with a very binding pre nup, I have not given her a brass razoo in the time we have been together, except obviously I pay for everything when we are together.

She is ALWAYS available to talk to, and we communicate constantly via viber or messenger.

Also for us to be together in Australia, so I can keep working here, I would have to marry her after 9 mths anyway, that is pretty well black and white.

I mean what the hell would I do in Thailand for work, I can't even speak the language, and I'd prefer to earn $$ than Baht.

Since my divorce, I dated many women here in Oz, and had micro relationships with them.

Frankly I can't go back to that,and it's not just the physical side, but the expectations of middle aged Australian women.

I could easily, but I choose not too.

I understand the risk of marrying someone from a different culture, much younger, beautiful, but I am happy with the odds, if I treat her well.

We have spoken at great length about marriage, love, expectation, and have a vision for our future together.

How it all unfolds, time will tell.

[Murgatroyd]

I wish you the very best of luck Mate. I married a beautiful Thai woman after a fairly short period and never regretted it once... until today that is when I had to break the news that due to the declining income from my investments I was going to have to return to the UK and get a job again. (Been here four and a half wonderful years). Obviously I'll continue to support her and my stepdaughter until I've saved enough to return.

There are times when you have to follow your heart... I always remember the verse from CS Lewis;

Make your choice adventurous stranger, Strike the bell and bide the danger, or wonder 'til it drives you mad what would have happened if you had.