Los'D In Love

[HardenedSoul]

I'm not slating the TV demographic (this time) but the truth is that most of you guys don't have much in the way of options when it comes to the indigenous females in LOS. Perhaps advancing age, looks, corpulence, general ineptitude with females or combinations thereof, have you limited to the pool of girls/women working within the entertainment industry for both temporary company and longer-term relationships. As you know, the TV forums are replete with tales of woe from grown men who should've known better.

"Sure, sure", I hear the younger guys reply. "I'm fit and handsome so this doesn't apply to me."

Wrong.

The young guys get hosed as much if not more than the olds so they can learn a thing or two by adhering to Uncle HardenedSoul's Rules of Engagement.

Show no fear

Bargirls, freelancers and derivatives thereof make their biggest killings on their ability to identify a spineless gimp in 60 seconds flat so don't be afraid to say "no f***ing way" when she tries to get you to pay for dinner at the kind of restaurant she'd never normally eat at. If she sulks and wants to leave, don't be afraid to say "See ya". Maybe not that night but the next time you meet, she'll have a grudging respect for you.

Restrain your ego

Subtly alluding to your wealth with a BG/freelancer is a major red card offence - AT ANY TIME. It shows her that you're leading with your wallet cos you have little in the way of a personality. If you pull her with money, she'll only stay for the money. Of course, if you live in a nice apartment and take a chance on letting her see it, then she'll deduce that you have some means. Still, never tell her how much money you have/earn, never tell her how much you pay for your condo, never admit to ownership of the Pioneer LED TV, the Laz-y-Boy love seat and any other nice stuff in the apartment.

Don't show off

Even if you are wealthy, don't give it the large by buying rounds of drinks for all and sundry when you get lashed. Better still, don't get lashed. If she thinks you're overtly generous, she'll take the piss and if you're lashed too, she may steal from you.

Never give her more than one second chance

The first time she tries to rinse money out of you, stomp down on that shit . . . HARD ! She needs to believe 100% that she's being dumped and, if you do it right, she'll respect the boundaries you set after you "forgive" her.

Never hold hands in the street

Nothing to do with what people think about an Obelix-lookalike waddling down the street with a 45kg 20yr old in skimpy shorts. Many bargirls/freelancers will reach for your hand to reassure you that they're yours for the night but a man who knows himself doesn't need that reassurance. Politely refuse to hold hands and she'll know her place. If you've been hasty enough to fork out a barfine then 99% of the time, it's in the bag anyway so don't be a tool walking down the street hand in hand with a female who is obviously working. You wouldn't do it at home, don't do it here.

Keep your business private

Never leave your computer unlocked. Never let her use it either. Some are far more computer literate than you'd think. Tell her to hit the internet cafe. Never discuss your visa status/never allow her access to your passport.

Never let your house keys out of your sight

It's easy to get your keys copied. Don't give them to her even for one hour or, next time you're out, her "brother" might be rolling your gaff.

Install an IP camera(s)

Dead cheap and seriously useful for proving you're innocent if things kick off or if you absolutely, positively have to leave her in the apartment for any length of time.

Get a copy of her ID card

If you intend to see her more than once, this is essential. Imagine having to tell the BiB that some bargirl/freelancer called "Oi" nicked your Blackberry.

If you're daft enough to do drugs here, never do them in front of her

Sometimes, all it takes is one argument for her to get vindictive and tell the BiB about the stash of chang behind the light switch cover.

Don't get emotionally involved

If a woman can sell her body to you, she can easily do it again with someone more attractive. Never go from rental to lease purchase by paying her to "stop working" cos then she thinks that you think you own her. Regardless of how cushy your stipend may be, she'll resent you sooner or later; especially if you're the type who constantly reminds her of it. Accept her for what she is, let her continue to work and stop trying to understand it. Rest assured, she's more confused about her feelings on the subject than you are about yours.

Never breed a bargirl/freelancer

Just don't do it. The reasons are pretty obvious.

[craigt3365]

Moved to the Pub.

[BookMan]

Some sage advice when dealing with bargirls. I seriously hope I never get to the stage where I need to use it.

[nocturn]

amazing what wisdom you can pick up in a few months

[HardenedSoul]

amazing what wisdom you can pick up in a few months

Yeah but you know you've got them memorized in preparation for the next time your barfine bullies you into buying a bottle of Black Label for her & her mates.

[nocturn]

i doubt it, but it is certainly better reading than most of the crap on the go in general right now

[David48]

i doubt it, but it is certainly better reading than most of the crap on the go in general right now

Not saying I agree with the OP on all the things, certainly interesting reading this thoughts though.

If the general gist of it is was 'boys, time to toughen up and stop being pussy whipped' then I'll support that.

Speaking of posts ... what have you nocturn have started recently so that we can judge you standard for a good post, initiated by you?

[JSixpack]

5 . . . 4 . . 3

[IanForbes]

All good advice... but. The people who need it the most will not read it, or if they do they will ignore the warnings.

However, that doesn't mean you can't have the best years of your life by playing the game... just know how much you can afford to walk away from with no regrets.

[IanForbes]

All good advice... but. The people who need it the most will not read it, or if they do they will ignore the warnings.

However, that doesn't mean you can't have the best years of your life by playing the game... just know how much you can afford to walk away from with no regrets.

[meom]

amazing what wisdom you can pick up in a few months

Yeah but you know you've got them memorized in preparation for the next time your barfine bullies you into buying a bottle of Black Label for her & her mates.

I got suckered into that once.

On the way from bar to short time hotel she asked me if we could stop in another bar for one more drink.

Once there I ordered two drinks for us and she asks me if I could give her friend a drink.

Sure no problem and the next round I even included her friend automatically.

Little did I realize that she had more than one friend so when it was time to pay I got stuck with a bill of over 5 thou which left me without money to pay for the short time place and instead she walked me back to the corner of the street where she took a taxi and left.

I had to walk back home that night cursing my stupidity.

[phomsanuk]

99999.9% of us get suckered once, just hope she's relatively new at the game so you have enough left to put your knowledge to use. but there are some who never learn they love you tu mut.

[Headgame]

Geez, a whole lot of "rules" that can so easily be summed up as common sense. But you know what they say, common sense - not that common.

[DocN]

I know it all...and I forget it regularly!

[MaiChai]

You could always learn some Thai and then try talking to ordinary Thai girls. They are not all bgs. Much more interesting I think?

[kerryk]

You could always learn some Thai and then try talking to ordinary Thai girls. They are not all bgs. Much more interesting I think?

I came to Thailand for sex with Thai women. I learned to speak Thai. I have found talking to bar girls about sex is more interesting then talking to ordinary girls about sex.

[MaiChai]

You could always learn some Thai and then try talking to ordinary Thai girls. They are not all bgs. Much more interesting I think?

I came to Thailand for sex with Thai women. I learned to speak Thai. I have found talking to bar girls about sex is more interesting then talking to ordinary girls about sex.

At least you are honest. Not here for the culture and temples then?

In Vietnam (and I believe Laos now) you are not allowed to sleep overnight with a local. I think this is a great idea as it stops foreigners getting robbed. The girls still try and take you short time so its obviously not illegal?

Edited March 8, 2012 by MaiChai

[HardenedSoul]

You could always learn some Thai and then try talking to ordinary Thai girls. They are not all bgs. Much more interesting I think?

I came to Thailand for sex with Thai women. I learned to speak Thai. I have found talking to bar girls about sex is more interesting then talking to ordinary girls about sex.

Why bother to learn to speak Thai if you're only here to have sex with prostitutes? I mean, surely they speak enough English to understand your intentions, right?

Or maybe you genuinely believed that "ordinary" Thai girls are just dying for the opportunity to engage an aged foreigner in conversation of a sexual nature.

[kerryk]

You could always learn some Thai and then try talking to ordinary Thai girls. They are not all bgs. Much more interesting I think?

I came to Thailand for sex with Thai women.  I learned to speak Thai.  I have found talking to bar girls about sex is more interesting then talking to ordinary girls about sex.

Why bother to learn to speak Thai if you're only here to have sex with prostitutes? I mean, surely they speak enough English to understand your intentions, right?

Or maybe you genuinely believed that "ordinary" Thai girls are just dying for the opportunity to engage an aged foreigner in conversation of a sexual nature.

I don't live in a tourist area. No one speaks English. I didn't mean to imply that I only had sex with prostitutes. All I said was that prostitutes are more fun to talk about sex with. I have not met many good girls who are into multiple partner sex so they don't talk about it much. Oh, and in case you are interested age does not make that much difference to Thai women if you speak Thai and are well dressed and locally known; good job helps.

[HardenedSoul]

You could always learn some Thai and then try talking to ordinary Thai girls. They are not all bgs. Much more interesting I think?

I came to Thailand for sex with Thai women. I learned to speak Thai. I have found talking to bar girls about sex is more interesting then talking to ordinary girls about sex.

Why bother to learn to speak Thai if you're only here to have sex with prostitutes? I mean, surely they speak enough English to understand your intentions, right?

Or maybe you genuinely believed that "ordinary" Thai girls are just dying for the opportunity to engage an aged foreigner in conversation of a sexual nature.

I don't live in a tourist area. No one speaks English. I didn't mean to imply that I only had sex with prostitutes. All I said was that prostitutes are more fun to talk about sex with. I have not met many good girls who are into multiple partner sex so they don't talk about it much. Oh, and in case you are interested age does not make that much difference to Thai women if you speak Thai and are well dressed and locally known; good job helps.

Ok. My misunderstanding. Each to their own sexual preferences.

You may be right vis a vis age and the sex worker or other females at the lower end of the social scale but I tihink you'll find that age makes a BIG difference to more the more eligible women. A smart, attractive Thai woman with a good professional income is less likely to go for an old geezer from wherever.

Still, if one isn't looking for anything permanent or meaningful, then sex workers are as good a group of people to spend time with as, say, other like-minded foreigners.

[kerryk]

You may be right vis a vis age and the sex worker or other females at the lower end of the social scale but I tihink you'll find that age makes a BIG difference to more the more eligible women. A smart, attractive Thai woman with a good professional income is less likely to go for an old geezer from wherever.

Still, if one isn't looking for anything permanent or meaningful, then sex workers are as good a group of people to spend time with as, say, other like-minded foreigners.

Eligible for what? Marriage? Not I. Been there done that. I was in Thailand in my 20's but went back to the West for the trophy marriage material. I could never figure out why men under 50 came to Thailand. I got the same kind of action at 50 that I got at 20 except at 20 I was expected to pay with fidelity instead of cash. There are enough problems inherent with marriage let alone throwing in cultural differences too. You only have a 50% chance of making it work in the best of circumstances.

[rusty1976]

Most of the bargirls have facebook on their phones now, so if you dont want any headaches, also state before bar-fining them. No phone in the bed, no facebook whilst you are performing your duties.

LOS: Land of Smiles ended a long time ago.

[MaiChai]

I just read the OPs first paragraph again. This is another demographic that may be interested in us old, washed our farangs: girls from poor backgrounds who want to better themselves by marrying a farang. These girls may not necessarily work in the business. Could be cleaners, factory workers, etc. I know some poor girls who have morals and refuse to work in the business. Its not all black and white as some may believe. Thais always marry into the same class; so you don't get rich Thais marry poor Thais.

[ObsessiveAddict]

A fun read for sure. New farangs get ripped apart because they don't follow some of these.