monty1412 Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 As a final point.. are you aware that even if she likes you truly that she will probably have to continue working at the bar and pursuing activities which lead to remuneration unless you sponsor her. Need to get your head around that one. Even if he sponsor her there are few chances she will stop working at the bar and return home. Lot of bar girlies are working while being sponsored by a horde of "boyfriends". She certainly like him coz he is young and pay drinks, and she would not refuse an opportunity to escape the bar for a week or more to visit Chiang Mai and the family. Any other BG would do the same, it's their job. 1000 bahts barfine, ouch. I chatted the other day with a tourist in Chiang Mai who told me a very well known farang owned cafe-pub-bar here wanted to charge him 600 baths barfine. When you see the girls there it's a joke and a shame. yes Im yet to see a bar in CM that has what i call talent.. Number 1 bar is a bunch of stuck up Kalasin girls all trying to appear Hiso and rest on LK road , well lets put it this way.. allot of the girls look lie they used to haunt a house as their last employment. Back to thread agree bf of 1000 baht over the top unless its special occasion like NYE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SinCityGr8One Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Its good to read your BIG head was doing ALL the thinking! Life is a chance, crossing the street is a chance. So give it a GO! Best of luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocN Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 The answer is "yes"! ...wait...it's "no"... ...what was the question again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigJohnnyBKK Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 OK I'm going out on a limb here, and after reading your whole novel didn't bother scanning the replies, so forgive me if I repeat others - but I think not likely. Forget about your preconceptions about good/bad girl, "what is a prostitute" etc. and follow your heart, I know many relationships that started like yours and ended up just fine. Admittedly far more that didn't but isn't that true for relationships in the best of circumstances? So the odds are bad, so what it's still worth rolling the dice. But here's the catch - you need to "act as if" you believe she really has a heart of gold in every way except this one: Investing up front anything you aren't completely in your heart willing to give up outright at that point in time. Here is the strategy I would advise, YMMV. Let her know that you are willing to employ her long time, keep her around as long as things are good and maybe you can learn to truly love each other over time, but for now she is your boom-boom rent girl only. You will give her spending money - this will be a touch negotiation - you'll want to keep it to say B10K a month, she'll fight tooth and nail for 20K+ - this is **all** she'll be getting from you, if she wants to send money home or buy a fancy phone that's her money - of course this is just your explicit negotiating position, of course you'll want to of your own free will give her bonus payments for extraordinary services, relatively random gifts to show you care etc - but how much and when up to **you** not her! If you can come to an effective arrangement, then everything's fine as long as you're getting good value for what you're shelling out. As soon as things start to go downhill, give her feedback, be ruthless about putting her on notice. As soon as she thinks you're not willing to walk away on a moment's notice, you've lost the game. Do your best to educate her, sponsor proper English lessons and help her practice, maybe beauty salon or massage school, even business and computers if she's up for it, so if/when it's all over you're conscience is clear that you've helped her improve her chances of having a decent life, not just used her. Never never forget - even thirty years down the road - that the whole thing might just be a total scam. If you get a few good years out of it together, you're ahead of most farang here, and of course there's another good one somewhere out there if you're willing to put in the effort to look for her - and next time in better places - get fluent in Thai! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuang Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Go ahead and do what you want to do, also use your head, if you are happy with her go for it.....if you take the advice from most of the members here you are doomed....just go through the forum if you have time you know what i meant.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanForbes Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 (edited) Interesting first post...err....novel. Let's try this over in the Pub. Topic Moved. Good reply, Craig. Considering the OP's post is similar to so many other posts of this type it's hard not to be cynical. However, allowing the OP the freedom to speak his mind I would only answer with the obvious... 1. Yes, the pretty bar maid IS interested. Why wouldn't she be? You are young and athletic and far different to her regular customers of the 50 years and up variety. 2. You spent your money like a drunken sailor on leave. That would impress any of the bar girls. 3. Is there a long term relationship here? That depends on how much of your future life you want to give up. I can double every comment made by others here. You WILL get bored with a rural life in Thailand and it will turn you bitter within a few years... no matter how pretty the young lady and no matter how great the sex is. That is the every day reality of life in Thailand. At some point in the game, and it is a game, you will have to earn a living doing something. that earns enough money to live in Thailand for any length of time. And, being a farang, there is no way you will ever be allowed to own anything. Editted to add... BigJohnnyBKK made a very good sensible post worth heeding. Edited March 26, 2012 by IanForbes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macksview Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 bargirls are good, they provide a service, sometimes great fun to be around, sometimes they are tragic, but overall bargirls are good. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BookMan Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 hmmmm.....Where to begin? >>>>>> Might go read the News Forum... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 hmmmm.....Where to begin? >>>>>> Might go read the News Forum... Better still, pop over to the Pub Forum ... Shanes back with a trip report. www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/533194-serious-question-about-relationship-with-thai-gf-serious-replies-please/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farangme Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Bjb gives some good advice. My two cents: 1. Give it a shot, sponsor her, and have her move back to the village. If op starts to detect any BS, end it. 2. Op will need to put forth great effort to get his head around what he's getting into. Personally don't see much chance of success for a 25 year old good looking fit guy with money. Too many points of conflict. Most basic one: can he accept she was willing to sell herself for money? Seems she is playing things right to get herself a young 'I wouldn't pay for sex' newbie. Hope it works out. Posted with Thaivisa App http://apps.thaivisa.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pipo1000 Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 My first thought when reading the OP was that Stephen Leather had signed up with Thaivisa..........but after further consideration I suspect the OP to be living under a bridge. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokie36 Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 1,000 baht bar fine? There is new one born every minute. Yeah I was thinking..."Is there a Russian bar in Phuket these days?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macksview Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 1000 baht barfine, thats equal to a tank of fuel, a box of leo and a carton of gold city, the electricity and water bill, waste of money that only to clean the pipes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macksview Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 bargirls are good, because you can get them to do things you wife wont do or you dont want her to do. eg, play connect 4 get drunk and fall over swear in 8 different languages play hi lo all day wear really revealing clothes many are the things that make them good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokie36 Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 bargirls are good, because you can get them to do things you wife wont do or you dont want her to do. eg, play connect 4 get drunk and fall over swear in 8 different languages play hi lo all day wear really revealing clothes many are the things that make them good. Get a new wife mate. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macksview Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 bargirls are good, because you can get them to do things you wife wont do or you dont want her to do. eg, play connect 4 get drunk and fall over swear in 8 different languages play hi lo all day wear really revealing clothes many are the things that make them good. Get a new wife mate. thats it i am following your advice, for too long i have suffered soi cowboy for me tomorrow night, well perhaps a quick look around lumpini park about midnight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokie36 Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 bargirls are good, because you can get them to do things you wife wont do or you dont want her to do. eg, play connect 4 get drunk and fall over swear in 8 different languages play hi lo all day wear really revealing clothes many are the things that make them good. Get a new wife mate. thats it i am following your advice, for too long i have suffered soi cowboy for me tomorrow night, well perhaps a quick look around lumpini park about midnight. Thats the rub though...will your new wife be able to stir your cocoa properly and with the same loving care? Its a dilemma faced by many more men than are prepared to speak it. You should start a support group. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macksview Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 sorted, i will go to nana, right up the end of the walkway on the 2nd floor, there is plenty of bargirls who can stir the brown stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elliss Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 1,000 baht bar fine? There is new one born every minute. she not bar girl , she,,,,, cash he her , cost more. wow, what a first post i only got half way thru , better than horlicks , goodnigh . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brit1984 Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 OP... I suggest you copy and paste your post into Microsoft Word - then find and replace all occurrences of "I" or "me" with your best mate's name then find and replace all occurrences of "bar girl" with prostitute - then find all mentions of Thai baht and convert it into your country's currency and multiply by a factor of 10 (for PPP) - then read the post out loud to yourself and give your opinion what your best mate should do... if you still think its a good idea, try replacing your mate's name with "Mark Zuckerberg", replace Thailand with your country and all references to places within Thailand to places within your home country... if you still think its a good idea, you may as well go for it mate but probably worth double-checking she hasn't got AIDS before things get too serious 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokie36 Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 OP... I suggest you copy and paste your post into Microsoft Word - then find and replace all occurrences of "I" or "me" with your best mate's name then find and replace all occurrences of "bar girl" with prostitute - then find all mentions of Thai baht and convert it into your country's currency and multiply by a factor of 10 (for PPP) - then read the post out loud to yourself and give your opinion what your best mate should do... if you still think its a good idea, try replacing your mate's name with "Mark Zuckerberg", replace Thailand with your country and all references to places within Thailand to places within your home country... if you still think its a good idea, you may as well go for it mate but probably worth double-checking she hasn't got AIDS before things get too serious Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arminbkk Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 "Of course i had to pay her boss the bar fine (1000 baht) per day of her being away. So i paid up for one week." Now a nice one would have helped you avoid this. In the past, when I went sightseeing with a girl for just a day, I never paid a bar fine for that day. As for at night leaving the bar, they would say, leave now, and I'll come out after an hour. To avoid the bar fine. Just saying. Looks like you spend at least 20K baht, including the cell phone, for 1 week period. Well at least you had a great experience, that counts for something too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flemmie Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 Nasty cough...? tbc? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BookMan Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 Nothing new from the OP. Must be busy composing Chapter 2. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4evermaat Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 1,000 baht bar fine? There is new one born every minute. i did see one bar do 700 baht to take worker home, or 300 bt short time inside bar in pattaya. the girls were hot, but i declined. "2nd best time to plant a tree is today." Sent from TV android app. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 Nothing new from the OP. Must be busy composing Chapter 2. BookMan ... you beat me to it ... Damm! I'm off for a Tooheys New with my neighbour ... what are you drinking? Oh ... yes I'm a QLDer! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 Speaking of neighbours (and since this tread is dying and the OP long gone) ... let me tell you about my neighbour. He's a KIWI ... but here 20 years + (arn't they all?) I went to Thailand one time and at that particular time it was a daytime return flight to Australia and got home about 11.30pm. I was away for a few months and turned off the fridge etc. When I got to the front door, not only had he remembered my day (night) of return but had left a small esky outside my front door with ... Ice 2 cans of VB coffee sachets Long life milk Sugar Money can't buy kindness like that ... Go bro ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BookMan Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 Speaking of neighbours (and since this tread is dying and the OP long gone) ... let me tell you about my neighbour. He's a KIWI ... but here 20 years + (arn't they all?) I went to Thailand one time and at that particular time it was a daytime return flight to Australia and got home about 11.30pm. I was away for a few months and turned off the fridge etc. When I got to the front door, not only had he remembered my day (night) of return but had left a small esky outside my front door with ... Ice 2 cans of VB coffee sachets Long life milk Sugar Money can't buy kindness like that ... Go bro ! Those Kiwis know how to live it up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malcoml Posted April 9, 2012 Share Posted April 9, 2012 Hello Mate, Ok, I guess my situation is fairly similar in that my wife displayed a few of your girls behaviors when I met her. I guess the big difference is that I did not meet my wife at a bar but well a restaurant. She definitely likes you as she has taken you to her home to meet her parents. It took my girl almost a year before she would introduce me to her parents and at that time she was pregnant. The 1000 baht is a bit of a piss take. I guess the bar fine would have been somewhere between 300 and 600. The only girls I know that cost more are show girls which really are hardened hookers. Give your description of her I'm guessing she pocketed the difference between the barfing and your 1000 baht on her return. Keeping change seems quite normal. Most Thailand girls I have had anything to do with including my wife seem to think it is acceptable. Then then use it to buy you small useless gifts or the like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zatoichi Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 Ooooohhh....I'll bite. OP: (1) Marry her, sure she really loves you (2) transfer all your funds from home to Thailand (3) purchase a house and car solely in her name (4) burn your bridges back home and stay in Thailand (5) if you have any money left over, mebbe think about purchasing a bar or some other quality investment in Thailand I think you have missed 2 out ,Buy her old man a tractor and her old lady 5 baht of gold!. 3 actually, lets not forget a quality Buffalo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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