Thailand Really Likes Old Western Guys

[GuestHouse]

Thanks for the warm welcome, I'll certainly be posting more

Just make sure that if your older expat friend up there in Khorat is helping you out by letting you use his PC that you don't accidentally post using his username - I'd hate such a thing to happen - It might cause all manner of confusion.

[GuestHouse]

Steady on K,

Where on earth in Tigerwan's post does it suggest that she doesn't live in Thailand?

Or for that matter where does she state or indicate that she's a man hater?

[Berkshire]

I would also like to point out that many Thai women are seriously into the 'skin lightening' game. We white men have a role to play in this game.

I'd love to hear what part white men have in this explained in more detail.

Half-white babies look very good to Thais, look at the adverts on the Tv.

Look at the half-white actors and pop stars.

Ah I thought you meant that extra-powerful whitening cream my teelacs have frantically been extracting from me as fast as I can produce it. I've got them all convinced the best facials are delivered fresh from the cow!

(I can hear all the "Eeeewwww"s from here 8-)

Johnny, if you're going to quote others in your post, make sure you do it accurately. The post above attributable to me is not me.

[IanForbes]

Oh and a warm welcome to our new member Ericg, a young man who seemingly speaks with a maturity beyond his years - a great couple if first posts and so right on topic too.

Its good to have young people amongst us, I hope he sticks around so we can learn more of his young man's adventures an young man's perspective. We need more of such things.

Agreed x2

He speaks from the heart and an open mind. And, personal observations.

[GuestHouse]

Oh and a warm welcome to our new member Ericg, a young man who seemingly speaks with a maturity beyond his years - a great couple if first posts and so right on topic too.

Its good to have young people amongst us, I hope he sticks around so we can learn more of his young man's adventures an young man's perspective. We need more of such things.

Agreed x2

He speaks from the heart and an open mind. And, personal observations.

Like I say, he seems to have a bery mature head on young shoulders!

[IanForbes]

Who worked in a Bank. .

I could understand that. A couple of my past, lovely girl friends worked in banks. Unfortunately, when they realized I was not interested in a long term relationship, they dumped me. Well, not really unfortunate, because I always wish the best for everyone and I was far too old for them. I told them that if they met a nice, younger man to grab him... and they took my advice. The other place I find them is the Dtac office in Chiang Mai. I swear they only hire good looking young women at Dtac.

[DP25]

Thanks for the warm welcome, I'll certainly be posting more

Just make sure that if your older expat friend up there in Khorat is helping you out by letting you use his PC that you don't accidentally post using his username - I'd hate such a thing to happen - It might cause all manner of confusion.

Hahaha I wouldn't worry, they're usually pretty good about not making that mistake

[ericg]

DP25 - Not sure what you comment means, if you are suggesting we are one in the same I'll gladly post a picture showing who i am. If I mis-understood your post then my apologies.

-Eric

[GuestHouse]

DP25 - Not sure what you comment means, if you are suggesting we are one in the same I'll gladly post a picture showing who i am. If I mis-understood your post then my apologies.

-Eric

I'm sure DP25 meant no such thing - and I'd caution against posting a picture, someone might download it and use it for identity fraud or some such nefarious deeds.

I know you display much maturity for a young man and will not want to rise to the bait. Better still to take the view that only someone lacking self esteem and confidence in their arguments would resort to pretending to be someone else to bolster their argument - Such a person, whether discovered in their deception or not would know themselves how sad an act that would be.

Not something any of us would expect from TV Members.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Johnny, if you're going to quote others in your post, make sure you do it accurately. The post above attributable to me is not me.

My apologies, I try to keep the appropriate context and certainly attribution when making the quotes relevant, but sometimes the overloaded nesting gets the better of me. I'll try to be more careful in future.

[Honkytowner]

I like to think of myself as a youthful 65, both physically and mentally. The reason I'm here is because in my last place of residence, Hong Kong, my wife (50) and I were both considered too old to be employable. Within two weeks of arrival in Thailand, I found a job that pays me very well indeed. My wife, aged 50, joined me and within a month had also found a good job.

There's definitely a different attitude to age here. I find myself treated with respect and deference everywhere. We've both been here for over three years now.

And for those seeking romance, let's not forget that wonderful Thai proverb: เป็นที่รักของชายชราดีกว่าเป็นทาสของชายหนุ่ม = Better an old man's darling than a young man's slave!

[IanForbes]

And for those seeking romance, let's not forget that wonderful Thai proverb: เป็นที่รักของชายชราดีกว่าเป็นทาสของชายหนุ่ม = Better an old man's darling than a young man's slave!

Good one, Honkytowner. I'll have to remember that one.

It DOES remind me of that old song, though... You call everybody darling and love comes a knocking at your door....

[xthAi76s]

Happy New Year, gentlemen. To the old timers and the young bucks.

[maxme]

Payak, I have no idea how u mixed up my response with egocentrism and I dont see anymore posts from u which means u are the one who took it personally,

Kerry, from what Ive seen during my stay, the Thai way of family bonding is more of a crapshoot depending not only whos the poo yai (sometimes its the mother sometimes one of the kids holds the steering wheel) but also how the father is. After all in many societies the man has the central role and thus determine the outcome of the bondage. Since insecurity due to poor education is strife in Thailand the love aspect doesnt factor in so much in as the necessity for social security. I wont say love doesnt exist in LOS but I do think its not really percieved as high as in west.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Happy New Year, gentlemen. To the old timers and the young bucks.

And you xthAi76s!

family bonding is more of a crapshoot

...

I wont say love doesnt exist in LOS but I do think its not really percieved as high as in west.

On my soapbox - if you're not interested in such waffling, please do ignore!

IMO love doesn't "exist" as anything concrete anyway, the English word and western concepts associated with it have many different meanings so as to make it pretty useless without more specifics. IMO "love", as in the feeling of romance and passion is a nice narcotic but not a sensible basis for founding a long-term relationship. To me "true love" is a verb not a feeling, expressed in our actions to support the growth of others as full human beings, and sometimes simply to be patient with their failings and foibles. This love can and should develop in all kinds of circumstances, even arranged marriages, fee-for-hire arrangements etc. but of course requires ongoing work and vigilance from both partners.

Regarding family "love", I find such bonds to be much stronger and long-lasting here than what is common back home, and agree that's because the Thais are fewer generations away from knowing real hunger, and also that they don't have any other safety net to fall back on.

And that's exactly why I think it's so important for first-worlders to realize how important such bonds are - our tax-funded safety nets and in fact economics and civil society itself are IMO very fragile, and we may very well find ourselves in need of as many strong personal connections as possible in the years to come, not least as individuals.

[/soapbox]

[kerryk]

Happy New Year, gentlemen. To the old timers and the young bucks.

And you xthAi76s!

family bonding is more of a crapshoot

...

I wont say love doesnt exist in LOS but I do think its not really percieved as high as in west.

On my soapbox - if you're not interested in such waffling, please do ignore!

IMO love doesn't "exist" as anything concrete anyway, the English word and western concepts associated with it have many different meanings so as to make it pretty useless without more specifics. IMO "love", as in the feeling of romance and passion is a nice narcotic but not a sensible basis for founding a long-term relationship. To me "true love" is a verb not a feeling, expressed in our actions to support the growth of others as full human beings, and sometimes simply to be patient with their failings and foibles. This love can and should develop in all kinds of circumstances, even arranged marriages, fee-for-hire arrangements etc. but of course requires ongoing work and vigilance from both partners.

Regarding family "love", I find such bonds to be much stronger and long-lasting here than what is common back home, and agree that's because the Thais are fewer generations away from knowing real hunger, and also that they don't have any other safety net to fall back on.

And that's exactly why I think it's so important for first-worlders to realize how important such bonds are - our tax-funded safety nets and in fact economics and civil society itself are IMO very fragile, and we may very well find ourselves in need of as many strong personal connections as possible in the years to come, not least as individuals.

[/soapbox]

I was under the impression that the Thais like the Polynesians never knew any hunger ever.

[TommoPhysicist]

Happy New Year, gentlemen. To the old timers and the young bucks.

And you xthAi76s!

family bonding is more of a crapshoot

...

I wont say love doesnt exist in LOS but I do think its not really percieved as high as in west.

On my soapbox - if you're not interested in such waffling, please do ignore!

IMO love doesn't "exist" as anything concrete anyway, the English word and western concepts associated with it have many different meanings so as to make it pretty useless without more specifics. IMO "love", as in the feeling of romance and passion is a nice narcotic but not a sensible basis for founding a long-term relationship. To me "true love" is a verb not a feeling, expressed in our actions to support the growth of others as full human beings, and sometimes simply to be patient with their failings and foibles. This love can and should develop in all kinds of circumstances, even arranged marriages, fee-for-hire arrangements etc. but of course requires ongoing work and vigilance from both partners.

Regarding family "love", I find such bonds to be much stronger and long-lasting here than what is common back home, and agree that's because the Thais are fewer generations away from knowing real hunger, and also that they don't have any other safety net to fall back on.

And that's exactly why I think it's so important for first-worlders to realize how important such bonds are - our tax-funded safety nets and in fact economics and civil society itself are IMO very fragile, and we may very well find ourselves in need of as many strong personal connections as possible in the years to come, not least as individuals.

[/soapbox]

I was under the impression that the Thais like the Polynesians never knew any hunger ever.

I thought that too Kerry, some people just never understand countries with warm climates, and relate everything to the cold western countries.

[JensdeJong]

Nice post!

Where do you live in Thailand if I may ask?

[Berkshire]

Johnny, if you're going to quote others in your post, make sure you do it accurately. The post above attributable to me is not me.

My apologies, I try to keep the appropriate context and certainly attribution when making the quotes relevant, but sometimes the overloaded nesting gets the better of me. I'll try to be more careful in future.

No worries...

[Berkshire]

On my soapbox - if you're not interested in such waffling, please do ignore!

IMO love doesn't "exist" as anything concrete anyway, the English word and western concepts associated with it have many different meanings so as to make it pretty useless without more specifics. IMO "love", as in the feeling of romance and passion is a nice narcotic but not a sensible basis for founding a long-term relationship. To me "true love" is a verb not a feeling, expressed in our actions to support the growth of others as full human beings, and sometimes simply to be patient with their failings and foibles. This love can and should develop in all kinds of circumstances, even arranged marriages, fee-for-hire arrangements etc. but of course requires ongoing work and vigilance from both partners.

Regarding family "love", I find such bonds to be much stronger and long-lasting here than what is common back home, and agree that's because the Thais are fewer generations away from knowing real hunger, and also that they don't have any other safety net to fall back on.

And that's exactly why I think it's so important for first-worlders to realize how important such bonds are - our tax-funded safety nets and in fact economics and civil society itself are IMO very fragile, and we may very well find ourselves in need of as many strong personal connections as possible in the years to come, not least as individuals.

[/soapbox]

The longer I'm alive, the more convinced I become that "love" is a Hollywood-contrived fantasy. But it's a powerful pull....which is why most of us still have that "hope" of true love.

As for the Thais and family, it's simple, really. Friends and lovers come and go, but family is forever. And unlike western media, the Thai media still celebrates the family over individuality.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

I was under the impression that the Thais like the Polynesians never knew any hunger ever.

I thought that too Kerry, some people just never understand countries with warm climates, and relate everything to the cold western countries.

With the exception of deep-loam farmland within irrigation reach of year-round rivers, in many areas of Thailand, crop success depends on rainfall. A few dry years in a row and the result is widespread malnutrition. This was more of a problem in the past, but still remains to some extent. And even in the midst of sufficiency, some individual families don't have enough to eat. My five-year-old boy weighs more now (27 kg) than his upcountry cousins up to 12 years old, some of them are as small-boned as birds from very low protein intake since birth.

And don't think the family thing is universally wonderful either, many times bad blood between branches will result in children not being helped eg by grandparents that don't like their son's choice of wife etc. . .

[kerryk]

I was under the impression that the Thais like the Polynesians never knew any hunger ever.

I thought that too Kerry, some people just never understand countries with warm climates, and relate everything to the cold western countries.

With the exception of deep-loam farmland within irrigation reach of year-round rivers, in many areas of Thailand, crop success depends on rainfall. A few dry years in a row and the result is widespread malnutrition. This was more of a problem in the past, but still remains to some extent. And even in the midst of sufficiency, some individual families don't have enough to eat. My five-year-old boy weighs more now (27 kg) than his upcountry cousins up to 12 years old, some of them are as small-boned as birds from very low protein intake since birth.

And don't think the family thing is universally wonderful either, many times bad blood between branches will result in children not being helped eg by grandparents that don't like their son's choice of wife etc. . .

Thailand always had rice and lots of it. Google Thailand famine. No results? Of course not. Thais never had a famine.

[GuestHouse]

Regarding family "love", I find such bonds to be much stronger and long-lasting here than what is common back home, and agree that's because the Thais are fewer generations away from knowing real hunger, and also that they don't have any other safety net to fall back on.

You are confusing the life long burden of gilt strapped on Thai children by their parents (usually their mother) with family love.

[ericg]

This is not an attack on anyone's post, just my opinion on the society security point.

A lot of people say Thai women only look for a man with money etc. Now lets flip the table.

As a man how would you feall not being able to support your familly financially?

I know I won't start a familly t'ill im a 100 % sure I can do so with having my finacial things in order and knowing without a doubt that i'll be able to provide for my familly.

Now if a woman takes into consideration what your going to be able to provide to some degree into consideration for the future of her familly, whats the big deall?

Its just one point trait of many that are looked into. Yes financial secuirty is good but not the only thing, love, trust etc all those come into play, I don't think fr a reall relationship it's just one or the other that seal's the deall.

Now to get back on topic to say the only reason Thai ladies like being with a mature man is due to financial secuirty is ridiculous. Sure many women are like this but to say all is unjust.

Like I said in my previous post I find culture in general very differant here and a lot more accepting of all ages. In my country it would be weird that I hanged out with 50 year olds more then my own age, here its perfectly normal and I have a great time, I can see why the Thai's would think the same.

-Eric

[payak]

just a thought, the ones you do hang out with, dont give them anything, and see if they stick around.

I don't really see young thais hitting the town with old thai men, very rare.

Is it also the truth that they believe all old farang are handsome to, or could it be just maybe, just a guess, that they want something.

god dam_n when will it sink in.

[manarak]

I don't really see young thais hitting the town with old thai men, very rare.

this is not true - I know several examples of young Thai girls aged 18 (sometimes younger) to 25 who have Thai "boyfriends" aged 40 to 60.

[Lancelot]

I have no problems with those who abide by the laws, rules and regulations but unfortunately many here I consider as suspect and shady, so these sudden influxes of farangs into the provinces is not a good thing in my opinion and certainly not beneficial for the ex-pats that are already here.

I agree that obeying Thai Immigration rules is only right and we foreigners must make an effort to fit in and adapt to the local culture.

However, for those that jump through the hoops, you will never really be accepted. Even Thai government discourages foreigners from staying long term. (One year extensions of stay, property ownership, employment)

There is a lot to like and enjoy about Thailand but at the end of the day the Thais don't really want us there.

How many foreigners have Thai citizenship? How many Thais also enjoy foreign (western) citizenship?

Edited April 15, 2012 by Lancelot

[473geo]

I have no problems with those who abide by the laws, rules and regulations but unfortunately many here I consider as suspect and shady, so these sudden influxes of farangs into the provinces is not a good thing in my opinion and certainly not beneficial for the ex-pats that are already here.

I agree that obeying Thai Immigration rules is only right and we foreigners must make an effort to fit in and adapt to the local culture.

However, for those that jump through the hoops, you will never really be accepted. Even Thai government discourages foreigners from staying long term. (One year extensions of stay, property ownership)

There is a lot to like and enjoy about Thailand but at the end of the day the Thais don't really want us there.

How many foreigners have Thai citizenship? How many Thais also enjoy foreign (western) citizenship?

I believe the Thai are not too concerned we are here......they just don't want foreigners buying up rural Thailand, is that so difficut to understand?

[TommoPhysicist]

just a thought, the ones you do hang out with, dont give them anything, and see if they stick around.

I don't really see young thais hitting the town with old thai men, very rare.

Is it also the truth that they believe all old farang are handsome to, or could it be just maybe, just a guess, that they want something.

god dam_n when will it sink in.

My wifes very good friend is 31, her husband is 58 ......... both Thai, both farmers.

They have two children and no money.

As Manarak says, I also see many young Thai girls seeing much older Thai men. If you were to mix a bit more with Thais, in Thai areas, you would see more of this.

Edited April 16, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[maxme]

I have no problems with those who abide by the laws, rules and regulations but unfortunately many here I consider as suspect and shady, so these sudden influxes of farangs into the provinces is not a good thing in my opinion and certainly not beneficial for the ex-pats that are already here.

I agree that obeying Thai Immigration rules is only right and we foreigners must make an effort to fit in and adapt to the local culture.

However, for those that jump through the hoops, you will never really be accepted. Even Thai government discourages foreigners from staying long term. (One year extensions of stay, property ownership)

There is a lot to like and enjoy about Thailand but at the end of the day the Thais don't really want us there.

How many foreigners have Thai citizenship? How many Thais also enjoy foreign (western) citizenship?

I believe the Thai are not too concerned we are here......they just don't want foreigners buying up rural Thailand, is that so difficut to understand?

Funny, alot of foreigners are buying up alot of land in western countries and we arent overrun yet are we? Besides not all are up for bids so this is just xenophobic paranoia.

Edited April 16, 2012 by maxme