here's tutsi wanting to prepare for a horrendous 15-20 economy class flight to NYC to get a saudi work visa: 'mumble, grumble but maybe at least I'll be able to see a Yankees ball game...'

then the wife appears and sez: 'your step daughter is pregnant again...' and then the eruption quietly develops and then: 'arrrgghh!!!...' she's 7 months gone but has managed to conceal...she's a bit fat and wears loose clothing so I didn't notice...and then: 'goddammit she has to do the pre-natal with the doctor, the stupid little shit and etc...'...the wife just folded her arms and looked at the ceiling and sighed: 'yeah, I was a bit pissed off too...'

fatalism...thai fatalism and I wanted to get out the rusty coat hanger and snarl: 'pregnant are we?...well, I'll give you pregnant me lovely...' but imagine the mess with 7 months already...

yesterday some folks offered me an attractive position such that I could blow off the saudi job but I had already accepted it and want to be fair...but, life isn't fair and it's too much to take and oh,...boo hoo...

and then the little niece appears and puts her arms around me and sez: 'you don't look very happy uncle tutsi....' and what am I supposed to say then???

oh...oh, no...

Let wifey worry about the family stuff Tutsi, that's what they are for.

Shaft the Saudi company, works being doing that to you for years.

No charge.

Let wifey worry about the family stuff Tutsi, that's what they are for.

Shaft the Saudi company, works being doing that to you for years.

No charge.

but...I have a position to maintain as nominal head of household...the wife she is the de facto and will haveta supervise when the new sprog is hatched...and yeah; dem saudis have been makin' a fool of poor ol' tutsi fer too long...but who's to say that the other outfit may be any different? Oh, boo hoo...

an'...I just wanna get me a flame thrower or a heavy caliber machine gun and cut loose! chaos, mayhem and mass murder goddammit!...an', I just tried to do the best that I can...

just need to lay me heid somewhere nice with soothing female comfort and a scottish lullaby...

No, Tutsi, we're talking micromanagement here, you go mad worrying about any other domestic issues than the most basic household infrastructure.

The appearance of a new rug rat is of no importance to you unless you happen to trip over it... then with loud shouts and fist waving you can demand the deck be kept clear.

Isn't it time you gave up work?

I come over all faint at the very thought of it these days.

I wish I could just stay home with the family but I gotta work as we ain't got no money...the wife sez that I don't haveta and that the family will provide but...I just sorta feel compelled if I'm able...

but I only got a couple more projects in me...the other job is with O&M and permanent and it's still on the go and closer to home in Malaysia...I might have a look in; real good dough and a good rotation...

I wish I could just stay home with the family but I gotta work as we ain't got no money...the wife sez that I don't haveta and that the family will provide but...I just sorta feel compelled if I'm able...

but I only got a couple more projects in me...the other job is with O&M and permanent and it's still on the go and closer to home in Malaysia...I might have a look in; real good dough and a good rotation...

I dunno what ya do tutsi...but go to Malaysia.....anything is better than dealing with arabs....!

I like Malaysia... just a shame about all the Malays.....

Great curries...

Great curries...

yeah...and the soto ayam and the rendang too...but the malaysian job offer is a nigerian scam; they want money up front to get a work visa and I shall call tomorrow to racially abuse them if I can get them on the telephone...

so...it's just me with the hummous, falafel and arabic bread back out in the desert; an ascetic tutsiwarrior in filthy robes and broken sandals...somewhere in the desert north of Jeddah...and then someone sez: 'tutsi, get yer arse over here, we got work to do...' and then tutsi raises his arms in supplication and intones: 'allaaah, akbum...'

and then the boss sez: 'I knew that he was crazy, get security over here and have him investigated....'

without vodka (and there is none in saudi) there is only religion to turn to...

oh...de pain ob lebben....

Great curries...

yeah...and the soto ayam and the rendang too...but the malaysian job offer is a nigerian scam; they want money up front to get a work visa and I shall call tomorrow to racially abuse them if I can get them on the telephone...

so...it's just me with the hummous, falafel and arabic bread back out in the desert; an ascetic tutsiwarrior in filthy robes and broken sandals...somewhere in the desert north of Jeddah...and then someone sez: 'tutsi, get yer arse over here, we got work to do...' and then tutsi raises his arms in supplication and intones: 'allaaah, akbum...'

and then the boss sez: 'I knew that he was crazy, get security over here and have him investigated....'

without vodka (and there is none in saudi) there is only religion to turn to...

oh...de pain ob lebben....

You needs to get together with the bojangley fella...he seems to have a still somewhere....

Great curries...

yeah...and the soto ayam and the rendang too...but the malaysian job offer is a nigerian scam; they want money up front to get a work visa and I shall call tomorrow to racially abuse them if I can get them on the telephone...

so...it's just me with the hummous, falafel and arabic bread back out in the desert; an ascetic tutsiwarrior in filthy robes and broken sandals...somewhere in the desert north of Jeddah...and then someone sez: 'tutsi, get yer arse over here, we got work to do...' and then tutsi raises his arms in supplication and intones: 'allaaah, akbum...'

and then the boss sez: 'I knew that he was crazy, get security over here and have him investigated....'

without vodka (and there is none in saudi) there is only religion to turn to...

oh...de pain ob lebben....

You needs to get together with the bojangley fella...he seems to have a still somewhere....

well...there's a story about that...about 5 years ago when out in the saudi desert there was an associate that became a friend...he was a naturally friendly guy...and he had a filipina girlfriend and access to the locally filipino produced moonshine 'siddiq'...

he had been out in the desert for 7 years on the same project and was my age with similar health problems, diabetes and hypertension and he useta drink alot and then one day when at home on leave on Tyneside collapsed and died when working in his garden...the nicest guy that you would ever want to meet...

well, I'm a nice guy too and with similar health problems and I'm superstitious and things don't bode well...and I don't wanna die in the stinkin' arabian desert!

everyone knows that if yer a drunk then giving up the booze is bad fer yer heart as alcohol withdrawal is a trauma...

I want to live and to work but it becomes harder and harder...

so...it's just me with the hummous, falafel and arabic bread back out in the desert; an ascetic tutsiwarrior in filthy robes and broken sandals...somewhere in the desert north of Jeddah...without vodka (and there is none in saudi) there is only religion to turn to...

Rabigh?? Siemens and GEC machines. Depends if it's the refinery or the town.

If it's a bit further north - Yanbu - there's still stuff to be had (Arabian Homes f'r instance), and you can dine at the Paki Palace.

so...it's just me with the hummous, falafel and arabic bread back out in the desert; an ascetic tutsiwarrior in filthy robes and broken sandals...somewhere in the desert north of Jeddah...without vodka (and there is none in saudi) there is only religion to turn to...

Rabigh?? Siemens and GEC machines. Depends if it's the refinery or the town.

If it's a bit further north - Yanbu - there's still stuff to be had (Arabian Homes f'r instance), and you can dine at the Paki Palace.

humph...I've given up the work and the big money...and when I said that I will be north of Jeddah I meant that I will be trudging towards Madinah on foot in a pilgrim's robes to complete the umrah...oh, allaaaah allahuakbum...

refineries and power stations are a blight on the pristine and holy desert landscape...and I am complicit in their construction and operation...and now, I must cleanse my wicked soul...

(sssh...sssh...our masters at 'F' are not supposed to know...)

Insha'Allah Tutsi, insha'Allah.

Same same the sprog to arrive soon,

Insha'Allah Tutsi, insha'Allah.

Same same the sprog to arrive soon,

it's the goddam step daughter's fault...when she was little she refused to call me by name and I was just 'the falang'...then later she criticised my cooking efforts and spat A&W root beer in mock disgust and disrespect and now the house shall be overrun with her offspring...well, if the baby isn't a cute little girl then it goes in the bag and to the bridge over the klong, goddamit...

I demand some respect around here...oh, boo hoo...

Shise, I've missed your sense of humour!!!

Shise, I've missed your sense of humour!!!

Ms patsy! you're back!...but you have to excuse my black mood and the menacing waters of the klong but I've already got a grandson and a small nephew in the house and one day they will produce loads of kids and in true thai fashion will not do anything to support them...and I aim to stop that now!

but with little girls, then:

the step daughter was a little girl once but as I explained previously she was a nasty piece of work...