Got this as an email

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to

track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to

join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards.

Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take

us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit

until you're at least 35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about

sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about

sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000

additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a

cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't

sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are impatient and maybe

letting us kill some asshol_e that desperately deserves it

will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile..

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys

always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I

said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may

as well be up killing somefanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn't spill thebeans because we'd forget where

we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number

would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting

screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also

developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them

for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the

screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've

been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope

hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after

completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've

never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still

learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl.

He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to

shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keepour kids at home to learn a little

more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The

last thing an enemy would want tosee is a couple million pissed off

old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know

that their best years are already behind them.

HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!!

You think MEN have attitudes??

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on

border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!

Frequently a problem with eyesight with many old farts.

And can you imagine the chat in the bar after an operation?