Smokie And Theblether

[theblether]

So Smokie took his first steps onto Chiang Mai soil at 6.30 on Saturday evening, to be met by theblether and his lady and whisked to the Wangburapa Grand hotel on Moon Muang Road, right next door to the In Town bar live music venue and conveniently close to Mad Dog. If you're a first time visitor to CM you won't find many hotels better situated than the Wangburapa. Smokie was on top form and he was booked in, washed and polished and out the door by 7.15, impressive stuff. Fellow TV member Bri19000 met us at the hotel with his lady and we all took off to the Sangjan restaurant that is managed by theblethers lady.

The Sangjan is a little bit out of town, and although it's a brand new restaurant, it's current clientele is almost entirely local Thais. It was one of those magic evenings in Thailand, the weather behaved itself and we sat outside at one of those massive wooden tables that the Thais take for granted and we all wish we could throw into a suitcase and take home with us. Smokie was amazed at several aspects of his first trip into CM food land, the first thing that caught his attention was the way that his beer never ran out, every time he looked away one of the staff refilled his glass. After a while he commented on this highly impressive level of service, and mentioned that it must be because theblether was with him. Not true, I'm sure a lot of you know that you get an exceptional level of service in Thai oriented restaurants, and in this case the service was up to it's normal scratch....ie exceptional.

Smokie will be opening a thread to discuss the food, so I won't say much except to say that this place serves Northern Thai food, and you end up feeling that your taste buds have been assaulted in the most delightful way. theblether had brought along a bottle of 14 year Single Malt Balvennie whisky, and we took advantage of the Federbrau promotion that was taking place, 3 bottles for 179 baht, I think we drank 33.

How to describe this part of the evening? Smokie is a Thai regular and I watched him melt into a state of bliss, all I could see was this look of delight on his face as the magical glass never emptied, and new dish after new dish of food passed below his nose. The company was fantastic, the chat never ending, and the Thais took a shine to Smokie, which would be unremarkable except to say that the one that took the biggest shine was a 6 foot tall ladyboy A look of fear and trepidation crossed Smokie's face as he heard those most typical of words " You are very hansum man ", and of course theblether couldn't help but play up to it, inviting said ladyboy to have a photo taken with Smokie and of course, cuddle in. " Sorry, photo no good, maybe cuddle in more, hmmm maybe better you sit on Smokie's knee ", all the while Smokie's eyes were getting bigger and bigger and as he tried to telepathically beg me to stop this torture. Knowing how concerned about this potential new lover Smokie was, theblether switched off his telepathic receiver and enjoyed the moment.

Bri19000 was on great form too, and the evening passed by in a flash. The phone went and and TV member AlfieConn arranged to meet us at Bar Eve, just behind Jacks Van, on the moat. Not being one's to refuse a drink we all headed down there and met said Alfie. Bar Eve was busy on Saturday, but Alfie stood out, it was great to see the only 2 Spurs fans in Thailand discuss losing the Champions League spot to the mighty Chelsea. I'll say for myself that I was delighted to meet Alfie, he's a real gentleman well known to a lot of people in CM and Samui, and by his own words, loving life in Thailand. I won't divulge any personal details however I will say that if you ever get a chance to meet Alfie, take it. I was delighted to see Bar Eve so busy too, as the couple that own that wee place have worked so hard to build the business. They have attracted a vibrant young crowd into the place and if you fancy yourself as the new Sinatra, this is the place to go.

Alfie made his way home, and three men left standing went down to Jacks Van. This wee drinks van is a real CM landmark, and it used to be mobbed when the old Spicey was virtaully next door, but not so much now. Some people reckon it's a little bit pricey ( Jack and coke 120 baht ) but as far as I'm concerned the ambiance and service is spot on. theblether has spent many a night at Jacks Van, and many a morning too, it closes at 8.00am and theblether has been known to have been the last customer standing The bar is right next to the moat which surrounds the "Old City" area and theblether had a chance to show Smokie a little bit of the history of the place but Smokie wasn't overly interested. There was drink waiting for us and he wanted it, and some more, and while we're at it, get another one in, until eventually at 5.45am he called a halt. I could say that was a lightweight performance but consiering that he had just flown in from Europe I'm giving him 10/10 for application, well done Smokie.

Sunday came along and we found ourselves out at Doi Suthep, we got a songthaew from the city centre to the bottom of the hill, then another songthaew up the hill, that one cost 40 baht. It's a fair way up that hill you know. The roadway up the hill was cleared about 60 years ago I believe, I know that one particular monk is lauded for his efforts in trying to make Doi Suthep accessible and my girlfriends grandmother ( yai ) spent 3 months helping out the road clearing etc. That's one important way of making merit and of you ever get a chance, show your appreciation by going up that hill. The story of Doi Suthep is fascinating and although I've been up several times every time I go I see something new and impressive.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wat_Phrathat_Doi_Suthep

Smokie climbed the steps all the way up, I think there's about 300 of them, and I was very impressed. Okay, that's a lie, Smokie took one look at the steps and asked if there was an elevator. You know I would have climbed those steps, but Smokie insisted on the elevator, and I mean really insisted!! To be fair it is a fair climb up so if your struggling with mobility the elevator is a great tool. Smokie has no mobility issues, he's just a lazy bast*rd.

We we're lucky oys, the view of the city was the best I've seen on my visits up there, and the temple itself is a glorious piece of glittering architecture. We made our way back down the steps after a while and headed back into CM. The intention was to go home and and get washed polished and shifted, however Smokie observed it was criminal offence for him to go an afternoon without a beer so he pointed at Johns Place and said let's go there.

Smokie knowest not what he has done, Johns Place is one of theblethers haunts in CM and as soon as theblether walked in the staff were right on their toes recounting stories of legendary drinking sessions that we have all participated in. There's many a night where theblether and the Johns Place staff have found themselves in Zoe@Yellows and god forbid, Spicey, till the early hours of the morning. The craic was fantastic, the drink was flowing, and what started out as an afternoon drink ended up being an all night bender. I know your feeling sorry for theblether but don't worry about it, if I'm forced to drink all night with my pals to keep them happy I'll do it, because true friends share Don't ask me what time we got home at, I don't know, some things just don't matter as much as merely maintaining the ability to walk you know. Oh, in the interest of culture I suppose I better mention that we did go to the Sunday market, for 5 minutes. I don't want you getting the impression we're not interested in Thai culture.

Monday was the day, theblether had waited till Smokie was drunk the night before and mentioned we were going to Tiger Kingdom the next day, an objection was raised by a slightly petrified looking Smokie, then ignored by theblether.

Monday came, theblethers girlfriend turned up, and we all headed off to Tiger Kingdom down at Mae Rim. Smokie was suffering from an attack of the nerves however theblether had pointed out that he better not embarrass him in front of his gf, as he had told her that all Scottish men were brave. A little bit of cunning reverse psychology.

So Tiger Kingdom, here's a couple of wee tips, my lady drove us down there, and as she is Thai, she was eligible for a commission for bring us. When you go in they also have an excellent buffet service, at a cost of 200baht each, and my Thai lady ate for free. I don't know how these Thai girls do it but she took advantage of that buffet, Smokie looked on amazed as plate after plate disappeared into her 47kg frame. Being a bad b*stard as I am I reminded Smokie of the tasty fillings that Tigers prefer and invited him to fill up on said treats before he became the afternoons delicacy.

That shocked him back to reality, and he soon found himself standing looking at the gallows, right outside the adult Tigers cage. Another couple little tips, it costs 420 baht to get into the adult Tigers cage, that's the best value for money, second best is the small Tigers + large Tigers. Don't bother with the smallest tigers and medium sized, you'll end up well over 1000 baht for not a great deal of difference in enjoyment. We stood outside the cage for a few minutes and Smokie started to protest too much, he went on, and on, and on, and on about the dangers, about the fact he didn't like cats, about the fact that he needs to keep both his arms for his job, blah blah blah blah blah, so theblether did the only thing left open to him.

theblether bit Smokie.

Then I told him to get into the foxing cage or he was getting bitten again. Smokie took one look into theblethers eyes and realized he was actually safer with the Tigers than he was with an annoyed theblether, and into the cage he did go. If you ever get a chance, get in among these most magnificent animals. When Smokie left that cage he was exhilarated. To be fair he was somewhat re;ieved too, but the greatest emotion was exhilaration, it's not often in your life you will get a chance to get so close to these big beasts and when you do you will never forget it.

Well done Smokie..........

Who is the member you would most like to meet? well, we went from big gorgeous cats to a gorgeous little pink cat..........that's right, we were blessed with an evening with eek.

The weather had turned by Monday evening and it was a slightly drenched Smokie and theblether that made their way down to the New Number One Bar. A lot of CM regulars will be familiar with the excellent and original Number One Bar, this place is by the same owners, but aiming at a different demographic. There's a thread running on the CM forum about it now.

eek was there with 2 English, and 2 Thai friends. We sat outside this smart, stylish, and modern bar / restaurant while the rain lashed own around us. You'll be pleased to hear that we had big umbrellas protecting us though I've done a deal with eek not to overly compliment her, so here's what I'll do instead. The 2 English gents with eek were bikers. An outstanding example of how to live life at 73 in one case, and a very urbane gentleman in the other. One Thai lady was simply stunning, and the other was just the cutest wee doll you could ever hope to meet. So how about eek you say? Well eek is a beautiful, sophisticated and delightful lady. I won't divulge personal details except to say that when you interact with eek this is the kind of girl that we men dream of, because setting aside her looks, eek has a handle on how to live life, and a sense of adventure, that is just adorable.

okay eek, I'll stop now.

The rain poured, the wine flowed, and the food disappeared, hours flashed by in seconds, and before we knew it we were saying goodbye all too soon. Easily solved though, we arranged to meet again the next night. It was a slightly unsteady eek that agreed to said meeting

Myself and Smokie headed back into town and hot the bars again, Johns Place first, and one of the A Team in Johns Place came out with us to Sax bar then Jacks Van. Smokie folded at 3.30 ( I think ) and I folded at 5.00 ( I think ). During the course of the evening and the later debauchery of drinking and singing I could see a blissful look come over Smokie again. Enquiring after him he just came out and said it........." This place is amazing."

You see, the CM contingent may not than me for telling you this, but the CM vibe is totally different from most other places in Thailand. Yes, it is the second biggest city in Thailand, but it still has a small town feel. Smokie will speak for himself, however I can say he was absolutely delighted by how chilled out he felt in CM, and he was astonished by the quality of the food.

So now it's Tuesday, time to make our way down to meet TV member Gonzo the Face and his guesthouse. We had a cracking breakfast down and the company was even better. Gonzo has owned this excellent business on the banks of the River since 1996, and he has it exactly the way he wants it. Sitting with him he recounted more and more stories about his life in Thailand and I just got more and more jealous A true gentleman that makes you feel more than welcome, and anyone that knows their cider is a good guy by me.

Later that day we went along to see Ulysses G at his bookstore just next to Thapae Gate. U G is another American gentleman, and as he spoke to Smokie I had a look around his store which is the best bookstore I've seen in Thailand. It's great to see the substance and reality behind TV members and with these two gents among our midst, we really do have a wealth of experience as to how to succeed in Thailand. That's a very refreshing thought many of us I believe.

I had a bit of a chat with U G about the time I spent working with the American military and I could see that familiar glazed look come over his eyes as he struggled to understand my Glasgwegian accent, however he did nod at the right times, and smile at the right times too......so well done U G, you met theblether and survived with your sanity intact.

So off we went to the Sangjan restaurant to meet the wonderful eek, this time the weather was against us so we had to set up indoors. The problem with was the karaoke machine was indoors and a Thai Sinatra wannabe was trying his best to mangle every song in the book. By the time eek had arrived the food was served and eek was delighted at that as the hunger pangs had come a calling with one of her party He was delighted too.......Smokie was over the moon in every regard until he noticed the ladyboy taking a special interest in him, I was delighted, it makes a change from me.

Tonight we were joined a friend of mine who is a DJ on Chiang Mai Radio and a golf professional at the Gymkhana Golf Club, once again the company was superb, the food was absolutely outstanding, a bottle of Johnnie walker disappeared, a bottle of Cognac disappeared, and eek was amazed as to why she couldn't get to the bottom of her glass. It was that level of service at work again, nothing was too much to ask and the glasses were always full. The music eventually improved and the conversation flowed for hour after hour after hour.........eek, a CM resident, was amazed at the quality of the food and I was amazed at her wee cute Thai pal who announced that she was only 5 foot tall and 35kg. I pointed out the obvious that I could throw in my suitcase and take her home but my lady wasn't having any of that Oh well..........all too soon another amazing night came to an end, eek and company headed home, and theblether and Smokie headed for Jacks Van.

We were kind of dying off on Wednesday so we had a relatively chilled day knowing that we were up for a session at the Vintage bar / restaurant that night. We were joined by joined by the CM radio DJ, his wonderful and gracious wife, and my lady. Vintage is a lovely place just on the edge of town, and I was shocked to see the daughter of the couple that own Doo Dee's bar at CM gate working there. CM Gate residents will know exactly who I'm talking about, this young lady is a very special young lady.

We were joined through the course of the evening by some CM business luminaries and I have to say, at this venue the live music was quite superb. My DJ friend knows all the best acts in the area he makes sure that they are available in the clubs that he frequents. This is difficult to say on the forum without inviting flaming, but theblether knows loads of substantive people in CM, and when he is in CM, that is who he tends to socialize with. You'll not often see theblether down Loi Kroh as he prefers some of the better venues in town, however theblether is known down there too. Smokie was fascinated at the reaction of people when they saw theblether. Yes I may be an amiable idiot, but it's also safe to say I'm a people's person and I love good company.

That is exactly what we had on Wednesday, good company. superb food and far too much to drink. We had planned on going home at 11.00 as we had to check in for our flight to Samui before 6.00am but every time we were ready to drink up some other worthy turned up the table with more drink for us. It was 2 extraordinarily Scotsmen that left that bar at 2.00am.........and a cery reluctant theblether at 5.15am when the alarm went off.......

So now we've checked out of CM.........and flown down to Koh Samui........

I'm dreaming of an afternoon in bed........when Rooo calls and says it's beer time. Smokie skipped to the Emerald Bar, theblether dragged his weary body along and once again, it was my delight and pleasure to meet Rooo. A fascinating man, a people's person too, extraordinarily sharp and with an Australians capacity for drink and humour. He got us right at it, bottles b. Roooy the dozed came and went then he announced, gents, that beer was on George.

Thanks George

A quite outstanding afternoon of superb company, superb stories, and all this on the beautiful Island of Samui. Rooo has been ragging us about our drinking prowess today but don't worry, we'll be revisiting the challenge with Rooo in a couple of days. Rooo, get ready

Rooo went home, so I thought, thank god, I can go to bed.......but no way came the cry, Smokie had us out on a pub crawl with some excellent friends of his that lasted till after 10.00 last night......it was a mightily relieved theblether that crawled into his bed last night.

There are a lot of times that the forums here look more like battle zones that discussion threads............in my opinion the information and entertainment you get from TV is quite exceptional.......and I'm alsi delighted to report that behind the user names there are equally informative and entertaining people. Bri19000 is a personal friend of mine from Scotland, AlfieConn, Gonzo the Face, and Ulysses G, all true gentlemen of the first order. Rooo does sterling work keeping the forum in order, and I can tell you he is one man you would love to go for a beer with.......and of course we have the outstanding eek ........oh, and of course I can't forget Smokie .

We are surrounded by top quality people and I want to say a public thank you to them all for making this first week of the holiday outstanding.........bring on next week!!!

[londoedan]

[BookMan]

Excellent update Blether!

[harrry]

But don't you miss the deep fried Mars Bars here.....

[Lite Beer]

Rooo does sterling work keeping the forum in order, and I can tell you he is one man you would love to go for a beer with.

Until the next morning . I have been there

[theblether]

Rooo does sterling work keeping the forum in order, and I can tell you he is one man you would love to go for a beer with.

Until the next morning . I have been there

Not yet harrry

Monday morning will tell a heavy tale Lite Beer, I think I'll be stocking up on various hangover cures

[edwinclapham]

Excellent update Blether!

thee utter my sentiments entirely Bookman

[stoneyboy]

I want to read it,but the tale of two sweatys in Thailand does nothing but bore me,maybe in the morning when I'm sober.

[theblether]

I want to read it,but the tale of two sweatys in Thailand does nothing but bore me,maybe in the morning when I'm sober.

Very good stoneyboy, I'll await your critique

[stoneyboy]

Chok dee na khrap.

[Rsquared]

Thanks theblether, as always, I do enjoy your posts..........and so far it sounds like a holiday not to be forgotten.

You have given me a whole new respect for CM, I obviously went to all the wrong places when I was there many years ago and was not impressed at all.........must follow your footsteps next time.

I am trying to convince "she who must be obeyed" that I need to go to BKK next wednesday.......but I am the worst liar in the history of rocks, so I just have to tell her the truth that I need to go and catch up with theblether and Smokie, but I do dream a lot.

Have fun guys.

Cheers.

[zzdocxx]

How about some photos?

[theblether]

Photos will be appearing shortly once I can get my memory card reader to work

[onionluke]

http://youtu.be/6MzOxLH34pw

hell ye all the women here say i wannna wamna whannnnnna

[harrry]

Photos will be appearing shortly once I can get my memory card reader to work

Never mind your memory card reader.....it is your memory I am more worried about seeing you seem to have created a two person alcohol shortage in Thailand.

Still guess it is good for the tourist spending stats for TAT.