Every time someone young and new comes along, the grumpy old fart brigade go out their way to bash them, be negative, go off-tangent, and squabble.

Even going as far as providing a new member with a dose of reality is one thing, but going out of your way to be mean and critical is another.

What the hell is wrong.

In all honesty, this ENTIRE forum, is stagnating with these kinds of members and their attitudes!!

Very true.

There was the newbie in the CM forum the other day. I felt sorry for her with all that negativity and reality dose she was given. She was asking a simple question, that many a 19 year old would ask, and she got a load of mainly crap arse replies.

On that subject, the TV forum desperately needs more female posters. There is a critical balance lacking.

I know there is a ladies in Thailand forum bit. But why not make a forum for Women ONLY? Chickynet does it, but TV has more to offer than chickynet. At least if women can post safely in there (without constant criticism or feel someone will jump down their throats) and most posters in the women only section would venture out on occasion to post in other forums. It would add more balance to most forums.

Frankly, I think TV needs to do this.

You're right, eek - although it pales into insignificance in comparison with the 'warm welcome' some newbies get at certain other Thai forums...

Hey BookMan. I personally think its a shame that there arent more normal male/female friendly NORMAL interactions.

I enjoy a good debate, so Thaivisa works for me. But can be so unbelievably negative.

The 19 year old girl on the Chiang Mai forum is what prompted me to write this. 1 post, and friendly, looking for advice. A girl from the west with Thai heritage. I wonder what might be going through her mind at the thought of the kind of men that are here after reading that thread! I doubt she will ever return.

Some times the guys are like a pack of wolves.

They are like that with each other, and women seem to be a target for all their pent up chips-on-shoulder experiences in the west.

Its really very sad.

Grown men, many of which are retired, living the good life, yet full of negativity!!

Edit: true Ping. I took a look there before..and promptly left again!

Hey BookMan. I personally think its a shame that there arent more normal male/female friendly NORMAL interactions.

I enjoy a good debate, so Thaivisa works for me. But can be so unbelievably negative.

The 19 year old girl on the Chiang Mai forum is what prompted me to write this. 1 post, and friendly, looking for advice. A girl from the west with Thai heritage. I wonder what might be going through her mind at the thought of the kind of men that are here after reading that thread! I doubt she will ever return.

Some times the guys are like a pack of wolves.

They are like that with each other, and women seem to be a target for all their pent up chips-on-shoulder experiences in the west.

Its really very sad.

Grown men, many of which are retired, living the good life, yet full of negativity!!

Edit: true Ping. I took a look there before..and promptly left again!

yes I agree with the following

I personally think its a shame that there arent more normal male/female friendly NORMAL interactions

That would be nice, but i guess the majority of ex pats in Thailand and those interested in Thailand as a future FT gig are men, so it makes sense that they would be the higher percentage on a forum like this.

For some older ex pats (even younger ones really) , there is a lot of bitterness towards women, and they like everyone to know how they feel. I think this is the minority of TV members, but that minority just happen to be overly vocal, effectively putting a dampner on things for everyone

Yeah, I just read that thread and all the deleted crap that came with it, please please use the report button or PM a mod to ask them to look at this kind of thing. We really aren't everywhere all the time and its the fair and not negatively nasty people who can help us out by letting us know when this kind of pack mentality kicks in.

cheers

That is true sbk.

Personally, I have to admit i have only used the report button once, but i should have many other times

I know some consider it dobbing but personally I reckon it more to making people accountable for their own bad behavior. Would you let some guy smack some kid around in public?

An alternative to the report is to post a red flag in here and we can all join in on the side of the FNG

It's OK, I have already got my coat

Some times the guys are like a pack of wolves.

They are like that with each other, and women seem to be a target for all their pent up chips-on-shoulder experiences in the west.

Its really very sad. Grown men, many of which are retired, living the good life, yet full of negativity!!

And yet, if I were to make a similarly sweeping negative statement like the above about women posters then it would be taken personally, and I'd be warned, or worse.

Some times the guys are like a pack of wolves.

They are like that with each other, and women seem to be a target for all their pent up chips-on-shoulder experiences in the west.

Its really very sad. Grown men, many of which are retired, living the good life, yet full of negativity!!

And yet, if I were to make a similarly sweeping negative statement like the above about women posters then it would be taken personally, and I'd be warned, or worse.

I doubt it. Guys are posting stuff like that all the time on TV referring to women. It is only the extreme postings that get removed.

While it might be a generalisation it does seem to hold true.

Some times the guys are like a pack of wolves.

They are like that with each other, and women seem to be a target for all their pent up chips-on-shoulder experiences in the west.

Its really very sad. Grown men, many of which are retired, living the good life, yet full of negativity!!

And yet, if I were to make a similarly sweeping negative statement like the above about women posters then it would be taken personally, and I'd be warned, or worse.

You dont think the sweeping generalisation is true winnie? Do you recon the female members deserve a sweeping generalisation along these lines too?

If im being blinkered, call me on it. If you think im being unjust or unfair, say so.

If its just a dig, with no basis, doesnt really give me much to go on..well......that seems kind of fruitless...

A sweeping generalization would be:

"All men on Thaivisa are grumpy old farts who descend on posters like a pack of wolves all the time"

That is a sweeping generalization.

eek's statement is not a sweeping generalization. You need to read more closely before getting the umph.

"Some times the guys are like a pack of wolves."

Some times the guys are like a pack of wolves.

They are like that with each other, and women seem to be a target for all their pent up chips-on-shoulder experiences in the west.

Its really very sad. Grown men, many of which are retired, living the good life, yet full of negativity!!

And yet, if I were to make a similarly sweeping negative statement like the above about women posters then it would be taken personally, and I'd be warned, or worse.

You dont think the sweeping generalisation is true winnie? Do you recon the female members deserve a sweeping generalisation along these lines too?

If im being blinkered, call me on it. If you think im being unjust or unfair, say so.

If its just a dig, with no basis, doesnt really give me much to go on..well......that seems kind of fruitless...

We're not all feeling tarred with that brush. eek.

Bashing newbies is stupid....we need more normal posters here.....and less of the constant negative troll posters.

Just my opinion....

You're looking rather pale there, Moss...

(Should I have posted this in the 'Do avatars reflect the personality of the poster?' thread?)

E: Omission

Totaly agree with eek. There are a load of grumpy old farts on here that need to lighten up.

At least there are a good number of good posters who can come back with some pretty dry and witty replies to the "grumps"

And there's always theblether to brighten things up

Maybe we need a grumpy old farts subforum where we could all go to die.... like an elephant's graveyard.

Then the new, the young, the vibrant, the exciting could frolic in Bedlam unharassed by farting and grumpiness.

Wouldn't have put you in the category of grumpy old fart scead. Bit testy sometimes but usually quite helpful and I can't recall seeing you join the pack in hunting down some newbie asking a normal question.

To be honest I missed the newbie carnage and the the offending carnivores and I'll admit that I am generally more tolerant of the former than the latter.

Maybe we need to set some newbie rules of behavior so they don't spark these sort of attacks.

I offered this once before but maybe the need is more pressing now.

i) 500-600 posts: No posting, just reading.

ii) 600-700 posts: Can post but not more than 2 or 3 words at a time, praising the opinions offered... "great post"... "you're genius scea".... "well done sbk"... I think you get the idea.

iii) 700-1000: Can post opinions but must agree with the OP.

iv) 1000-2000: Can start noncontroversial topics, must agree with anyone who points out errors in their presentation.

See how much better this would make things?

By the time a newbie gets to disagree with a GOF they have been accepted on the board and slid gently into being part of the team.

Thanks Draggons...........I'll tell you what though it does get a bit wearing when these negative types go after the newbies, and I get my fair share as well however I'm wide enough to handle it in most cases.

I agree we need to help the mods more, and we need more ladies.......myself and Smokie had a meal with phuturatica last night and she is a remarkable young lady, and she holds her own very well in the general forum, she had two friends with her that would be a boon to the forum too however when asked what I thought I had to tell the truth and say that it can be a war zone.

I suppose I have three answers to the conundrum, one being doing as sbk suggests and reporting undue negative attacks on newbies, the second one being the rest of us sticking up for the newbies immediately, and finally........more of the positive members actually posting, There are loads out there just sitting back and watching and at times it unbalances the forum.......that's my pennies worth

We definitely need more women or at least more women who post outside of the ladies forum as there are only a few of us who actually venture outside of the ladies forum. I know it can be daunting being a minority but there should be more of us so it is less daunting. I post in other forums more than the ladies forum usually.

As for the grumpy old farts, I agree. However once you try and shoot down these grumpy boys they suddenly pull the age and experience card "I've been in Thailand way longer than you etc" it really annoys me but I feel powerless against them because I'm young and obviously haven't been in Thailand as long as some members on the board.

I actually have a lot of friends who know of Thaivisa but refuse to join after reading some of the comments posted by some people. They always ask me how I can find amusement or help from a forum with members like that.

To be honest I missed the newbie carnage and the the offending carnivores and I'll admit that I am generally more tolerant of the former than the latter.

Maybe we need to set some newbie rules of behavior so they don't spark these sort of attacks.

I offered this once before but maybe the need is more pressing now.

i) 500-600 posts: No posting, just reading.

ii) 600-700 posts: Can post but not more than 2 or 3 words at a time, praising the opinions offered... "great post"... "you're genius scea".... "well done sbk"... I think you get the idea.

iii) 700-1000: Can post opinions but must agree with the OP.

iv) 1000-2000: Can start noncontroversial topics, must agree with anyone who points out errors in their presentation.

See how much better this would make things?

By the time a newbie gets to disagree with a GOF they have been accepted on the board and slid gently into being part of the team.

It is an interesting idea!

just one thing...how do the newbies get to 500 posts if they cant comment?

We're talking about Bedlam initiates here aren't we?

They already have 500 up when they enter the hallowed portals.

And another thing.

The "we need more women" isn't going to work, this is basically an expats forum and most expats are male.

And most male expats are, or become, grumpy old farts.

That's the way it is, there's been plenty given their marching orders, others leave voluntarily and either give up forums or join woodgate.

And new members joining will be in the same man/woman ratio.

We're talking about Bedlam initiates here aren't we?

They already have 500 up when they enter the hallowed portals.

And another thing.

The "we need more women" isn't going to work, this is basically an expats forum and most expats are male.

And most male expats are, or become, grumpy old farts.

That's the way it is, there's been plenty given their marching orders, others leave voluntarily and either give up forums or join woodgate.

And new members joining will be in the same man/woman ratio.

. No we were talking about the newbies in the general forum scea, though your 3 word praise limit is a terrific idea.

Beg to differ scead, there are quite a few female expats in Thailand, I think you would be very surprised if you knew just how many.

As for the age and experience thing Phuturatica, I don't get that argument. Most of them have far less time here than I do and the ones who equal me are usually far more tolerant than those who have been here a few years.

Grumpy old farts have rights too.

Some of us just need a little love & understanding.......

Beg to differ scead, there are quite a few female expats in Thailand, I think you would be very surprised if you knew just how many.

As for the age and experience thing Phuturatica, I don't get that argument. Most of them have far less time here than I do and the ones who equal me are usually far more tolerant than those who have been here a few years.

Ok, what's the ratio in ThaiVisa members?

I do get out occasionally and I do look about, I've been to a number of farang social gatherings and I wont say it's guys to girls 10 to 1 because it sounds too pat, but it's definitely around that figure.

Sure go to the big malls in places like Chiang Mai and there's bulk Western chicks around but I bet most of them are tourists.

We're talking about Bedlam initiates here aren't we?

No.

Its about the main forum. In a short space of each other, a 19 year old girls thread asking advice on what to wear resulted in a bit of a stupid almost brawl. A young woman who is moving with her boyfriend was torn apart and told her boyfriend would cheat on her. And a woman who is moving with her British born Thai partner and two kids, was told the same..and that being Thai its obviously in his genes. Unbelievably nasty replies also happen to new male members also. Asking simple questions and being torn down. Its downright nasty and uncalled for...and the new members end up not coming back again. ..who can blame them?

You said expats Scead not Thaivisa members.