5 Reasons Why Owning An Iphone 5 Will Be The Badge Of A Fool

[Phil Conners]

The iPHONE 5 UNDERMINES western DEMOCRACY

5 Reasons why owning one will be the badge of an utter fool

By Lewis Page • Get more from this author

Posted in Mobile, 12th September 2012 13:34 GMT

Comment Thinking of buying a new iPhone 5 after it gets announced later today? Don't. Owning it will mark you out as an easily-led simpleton - and worse, the purchase will undermine western democracy.

Our last digest along these lines was published prior to iPhone Day last year, but as it turned out - and who are we to say just why - the masterminds of Cupertino declined to bring out their latest offering then, producing only the unexciting 4S. However this time they have written "5" all over the announcements, so they'll find it hard to avoid revealing what they've actually been doing for the past couple of years.

Indeed, as is normal, we already have a pretty good idea what's coming and it isn't much different in detail from what was expected last year - perhaps illustrating rather well just how little in the way of actual new technology one normally sees from the fruitchomp-branded darling of Wall Street.

However it would seem not exactly cricket to merely republish our piece from last year: and furthermore,ten reasons not to buy into the Fifth Coming of the Jesus Mobe, with hindsight, isn't as punchy as five. Then it's always possible, for instance, that the new iPhone (unlike its predecessors) will actually be a good phone*. So we've revamped things overall and gone for just five bullet points.

Here they are:

1. iPhone and Apple fever are undermining the bedrock of Western democracy

No, really. One of the main underpinnings of your real Western democracy, like it or not, is the capitalist economy. We're not saying it's perfect - or even all that great - as a way of doing things and making decisions, but nothing else yet tried seems to work nearly as well. One of the main things which makes capitalism function is people doing things with money which make sense.

It makes no sense at all that Apple - whose contributions have consisted mainly of good but not exceptional UI and case designs - should be one of the most valuable companies in the world. It makes no sense that the iPhone (which is in many important respects less good than other smartphones) should command such an outrageous price premium among consumers, to the point where iPhone sales can measurably affect US economic performance.

That's massive irrational behaviour - it's money being spent and invested in ways which are against the decision-makers' interests, rewarding behaviour which does little or nothing for the common good (or even in various ways acts against it). As such Apple hysteria is hurting our economies and undermining one of the main things supporting our way of life.

2. No swappable battery

This, for example, is one of the various reasons why the iPhone is just plain and simple less good. You don't need 4G data connections to run flat a smartphone battery of any reasonable capacity very quickly - turning on GPS, playing video, merely using the thing and keeping its display lit up, all these things eat up power rapidly. For the serious smartphone user, then, the ability to swap in a fresh charged-up battery quickly is extremely useful, if not indispensable. It's trivially easy to provide, and its absence on all iPhones for fairly cynical reasons should always have been a deal-breaker on its own.

... Full story

[endure]

That's why I've got a lovely juicy Blackberry.

[RKASA]

Well they did say it gets 8 hours on LTE and 10 hours on wi-fi so I would guess you can find a charger by then - just saying - I have never had nor ever will have an apple product so it don't really matter. As for #1 well you can't change the way people think - if you could - MS would have failed by now too.

[khunron13]

"The iPHONE 5 UNDERMINES western DEMOCRACY". I quit reading after this...pure BS!

[Notstupid30]

I don't own a phone full stop so I don't give two shits about it really i like my freedom ...

[bangkokburning]

I think pointing to all the issues at Foxconn would have been a better argument.

[topt]

Thanks Phil, not seen that article yet.

I do enjoy The Register take on things with articles like this...............

[muratremix]

What a BS article.

[bangkokburning]

I think the price tag is sufficient enough to signal = idiot.

[eeeya]

iSheep

Baa baaa

Edited September 13, 2012 by eeeya

[Guest]

Something from BBC http://www.bbc.com/news/technology-19557497

Nokia was exiting way long time ago. Then the long time CEO stepped down and let an number-cruncher take over the company.

Nokia became boring (inside and outside). Now this same thing seems to be happening to Apple.

[ubonrthai]

Don't really care what it means. I get loads of practical use out of it.

[Payboy]

Looking forward to reading the "Sent from my diamond encrusted iPhone 5" signatures.

[LuckyLew]

I bought a Nokia1200 four years ago for 800 THB

It has been dropped on average of once a month for 4 years

and it keeps on working. I can make and receive calls and can

send and receive SMS

What else do I need a phone for?

My GF has had an Iphone for a year and it has broken 3 times

..

I will not buy a new or old Iphone ... no need.

My 800 THB phone will last me forever

[uptheos]

Interesting article.

[Chicog]

STILL no removable battery and no expandable memory.

Unbelievable.

[canuckamuck]

Good article, I don't really get the bad for capitalism angle, but it is true the iphone is not made for the consumer. It is simply more idiot tax for the fan boy club.

[bangkokburning]

Any Apple product that breaks must be sent at your expense to Singapore. They will return promptly with someone elses repaired product, no doubt dropped and abused but passed inspection.

Apples older stuff could be repaired but they have done all sorts of wizardry to prevent you from fixing your own stuff.

Then there is all the DRM issues and iTunes the slowest most bloated crap software on the planet.

New phone, no hd screen either - for that kind of money you really have to be stupid no with jellybean launched.

[eeeya]

They wouldn't know what to do with them.

Does apple sell iSD cards?

[Chicog]

They wouldn't know what to do with them.

Does apple sell iSD cards?

If they did they'd be double the price of everyone else's.

[mr3cho]

With such industry insight , I'm sure all of you invested in AAPL at $70 right?

[Guest]

With such industry insight , I'm sure all of you invested in AAPL at $70 right?

Nope, but if I would have their shares, now would be time to sell those.

[villagefarang]

With such industry insight , I'm sure all of you invested in AAPL at $70 right?

Try $52

[Pib]

Isn't the Apple cult also suppose to sacrifice a virgin on each new iPhone release?

[Payboy]

Isn't the Apple cult also suppose to sacrifice a virgin on each new iPhone release?

Yup, but they can't find any virgins since Facebook appeared on the scene.

[scotty1286]

Must admit to really liking my Iphone4, it was my first smartphone and changed the way I do my most common 'net related tasks, i.e. email, basic browsing and stocks checks. Hardly ever use a PC now, has made travelling without lugging a laptop around much easier.

Any other smartphone i've used just seem like copies of the Iphone to me.

Certainly won't upgrade to an Iphone5 as the the 4 does everything I want.

Edited September 13, 2012 by Phil Conners
bold font removed.

[Pib]

Isn't the Apple cult also suppose to sacrifice a virgin on each new iPhone release?

Yup, but they can't find any virgins since Facebook appeared on the scene.

Just confirmed it was the Pattaya Chapter of the Apple cult turn to sarcrifice the virgin. Being unable to find a virgin in Pattaya the sacrafice was delayed until tomorrow when the virgin arrives from Issan.

[Guest]

I'll probably wait for iPhone 20. It seems to have more space for apps.

.. and the usage as lightsaber would be great as well

[rakman]

Any Apple product that breaks must be sent at your expense to Singapore. They will return promptly with someone elses repaired product, no doubt dropped and abused but passed inspection.

Apples older stuff could be repaired but they have done all sorts of wizardry to prevent you from fixing your own stuff.

Then there is all the DRM issues and iTunes the slowest most bloated crap software on the planet.

New phone, no hd screen either - for that kind of money you really have to be stupid no with jellybean launched.

Yes, it's a common practice in electronics to swap a used "broken" unit for a working "refurbished" unit and quickly return the customer to operation. Not many will give you a "new" one for your used broken one, no economic sense there.

The iPhone 5 comes with a Retina display in 1136x640 with 326 pixels per inch, and like the iPhone 4s can record video in full HD. iPhones just work, apps for just about anything are available many for free. If you're using your phone and need more battery life, you can carry one of several additional energy sources. Yes, it's relatively expensive (even with subsidized price) but it's still the phone others are measured against. Yes, it's incremental improvement and others will out do it in different ways, but it's still a good product.

An estimated 8 million will be sold in the first 3-4 months. That leaves room for others to produce their products, but we'll see how the market accepts it.

With technology, there will never be the "perfect" product, improvements and changes will always happen.

My GF has a Nokia N8 and the o/s memory is only 256MB with most logs, email and messages going there by default. As a result, as many N8 users have found, the phone quits once the o/s memory has only 96 MB free.

I have an iPhone 4s for business use and I won't upgrade to the 5 since the 4s is working fine and I'm cheap.

[adad]

I don't understand why it's called the iphone5. It's clearly a iphone4L.