from this mornings daily telegraph , a great story about a miserable brit having a go at an american.

Message in a bottle? It's just US litter mucking up Poole

By Richard Alleyne

(Filed: 04/02/2006)

Usually when someone finds a message in a bottle thousands of miles from where it was launched their reaction is one of amazement and even joy.

Not so, according to a man calling himself 'Henry Biggelsworth' claiming to be from Bournemouth, Dorset. When he discovered a note dropped in the Atlantic by an American 3,000 miles away, he returned it with a rebuke for littering the beach.

Harvey Bennett, a US Coastguard captain, had tossed the plastic bottle containing his name and address into the sea near his home in Long Island, New York, last August. He was delighted to receive it back in the post - until he read the message inside.

The letter said: "I recently found your bottle while taking a scenic walk on a beach by Poole Harbour. While you may consider this some profound experiment on the path and speed of oceanic currents, I have another name for it - litter.

"You Americans don't seem to be happy unless you are mucking up somewhere. If you wish to foul your own nest, all well and good.

"But please refrain in the future from fouling mine."Yesterday Mr Bennett, 55, said: "My first thought was that the guy needed to get a life. I couldn't believe it. I know Americans are not liked in many parts of the world any more but we don't all go around mucking up places.

"I threw that bottle in the ocean for one thing - for fun. I always thought the British had a wonderful sense of humour but I guess somebody forgot to tell that to 'Biggelsworth'."

Mr Bennett said that the stern rebuke from the mystery finder will not stop him from sending more bottles. He added: "I have always thrown bottles in the sea. In the age of e-mails and satellite phones, I think it is such a wonderful way to communicate."

Ron Parker, a councillor for Poole council with responsibility for tourism, said the borough was rightly protective of its beaches and shoreline.

"However, we are a friendly resort which attracts many international visitors every year and they will always receive a warm welcome in Poole," he said.

Gill Bell, of the Marine Conservation Trust, said'Biggelsworth' had been right to send the rebuke.

She said: "Although it is thought to be a bit of fun, it can potentially have a huge impact on the environment."'Mr Biggelsworth' was unavailable for comment.

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Gill Bell , of the marine trust sounds like a barrel of fukcing laughs too.

If I was Harvet Bennett my next bottle would contain the message.

Dear Henry,

Please <deleted> off

I agree with 'Henry Biggelsworth' (surely a made up name). What right does an attention seeker have to muck up the environment. Harvey Bennet needs to get a life.

This is no different from the local habit of leaving plastic water bottles in National Parks.

I agree with 'Henry Biggelsworth' (surely a made up name). What right does an attention seeker have to muck up the environment. Harvey Bennet needs to get a life.

This is no different from the local habit of leaving plastic water bottles in National Parks.

Miserable bugger, but a funny line.

While you may consider this some profound experiment on the path and speed of oceanic currents, I have another name for it - litter

What harm can a bottle do if it sank in the middle of the ocean but provide a place for a fish to live? Or perhaps a crab, imagine an oyster the size of a Champagne Magnum?

What do you mean 'lost their sense of humour'?

I think his answer was the funniest I have read in years. Would have loved to see the facial expression of the American who sent it, probably in the hopes he'd score a French chick he could impress or something.

I would have posted him a jiffy bag full of dog shit.

Mr Misery

Grumpytown

England.

You have to remember that the average around Poole harbour is 70+ so these miserable old buggers have got ###### all else to do apart from write to newspapers complaining about anything and everything

Sandbanks, England's Malibu.

What do you mean 'lost their sense of humour'?

I think his answer was the funniest I have read in years. Would have loved to see the facial expression of the American who sent it, probably in the hopes he'd score a French chick he could impress or something.

I agree... sounds like a good bit of dry British humour to me... not that the Americans would understand that anyway

totster

Interesting headline...