Right, here we go........and this story is true.

I was sitting at home one night years ago flicking through the interactive services on Sky TV when I came across a dating site. Not having used one before I posted a message and waited to see what would happen. After a few minutes a reply came through and that was me hooked on the world of internet dating.

I made all of the mistakes that you would expect to make, and had some great fun along the way too, however I don't think any date surpassed my first one in terms of being memorable. I obviously was a rookie when it came to matters of internet dating, and I wasn't too clever with computers either, ( no change there ) and the site I was on was quite basic. I ended up in friendly banter with a certain lady, then I was delighted to see that she had sent me her telephone number.

After calling her I realized that she lived in Montrose, which is a fair distance from Glasgow, so I thought would be the end of it. However she was very engaging on the telephone and she had a wonderful laugh. So now I was starting to feel a bit smitten. After a few days of messages flying back and forward, and phone calls this lady suggested that she come visit me for the weekend. Wow, great!! Oh no.....she can't. Scotland were playing in a World Cup Qualifier against Holland and I had promised to take my son. ( yes, there are two of us, and he is just like his Dad, shame that huh? ).

No problem said the laughing lady, "you go to the game, and I'll go shopping, that will work out perfect for me". Me Too!! two nights of guaranteed jumping and a day at the football, man heaven!! It was around about November time when this all took place, laughing lady said she would be down on the Friday night, and by the time she turned up it was dark outside. I lived in a house overlooking a valley at the time and I waited at my doorway as she parked the car in the adjacent driveway. It was a gorgeous crystal clear night, near enough a Full Moon, and enough for me to see the silhouette of the car as she parked it. It looked like a customized Ford Fiesta type from a distance, quite low to the ground, but I couldn't see any spoilers or the like on it. She stepped out of the car and I was surprised to see the car raise by about 8 inches in the dark.

l got a little wave ( of fear ) and I saw her make her way to the boot of her car to get her bags and coat. I stood there fearfully as she made her way towards the door as I realized that laughing lady was massive. I should have gotten a photograph. She must have been about 5 foot 10 tall and was a size 28 dress size easy. 280 lbs of female coming down the path ( I could feel it vibrate ) and to make it worse, she was wearing a cloak ala Dracula. Yes the blood drained from my face as she eclipsed the Moon. I was in trouble.

You know that way some overweight people are good looking? Nope, not this one. I could see now why she had driven 150 miles for some action. Anyway, I'm a gentleman, so I treated laughing lady like I would any lady. I had the candles lit, the massive bay window overlooking the beautiful Scottish valley, the stars twinkling and the watery moon shining, it was so romantic. Totally the wrong atmosphere!! I was like a man staring at the gallows!! Though to be fair laughing lady did have a sweet personality so I came up with a new cunning plan, one that you would not believe in it's cunningness!! I decided I would go on a marathon of blethering then maybe she would fall asleep. Well, I blethered, blethered, and blethered again, the clock kept ticking until 4.00am, but it was no use. Laughing Lady wanted some action and that was it.

" Take me to bed " she said. There are times in my life that I have carried ladies to bed but I didn't have a six ton crane handy, so I suggested that she walk upstairs herself, and I would be up after I blew out the candles etc ( possibly even my brains ). After 10 minutes I worked up the courage, went up to my room, and there she was.

A vision in Pink, wearing a beautiful size 16 silk chemise. I didn't know you vacuum pack women.

I made my way gingerly into my bed, I didn't have much space to play with, and just as my head hot the pillow she grabbed me and kissed me. Well, I say kissed but it was more like having the air sucked out of my lungs. I was starting to go blue and go into the death throes just as she released me. I gasped like a goldfish out of water and she said " make love to me ".

Ahem, well it's my own stupid fault, I should have gotten a photo, I had a quick negotiation to myself as to what I was prepared to do, narrowed it down quickly to next to nothing, then I helped her prize the chemise off. It came off with a pop, and her substantial ( ok, let's be nice ) voluptuous body spread out all over the bed, and some of it collapsed over the side of the bed too. This was a unique problem for me, I didn't know where to start, or more to the point I couldn't find where to start.......

Right, it's a public forum, I'm telling you nothing else, some burdens in life should be carried alone, and trust me this burden was heavy, very heavy.

Anyway, on one of my trips to Thailand I arranged to meet a lady via a dating site, and she was stunningly, and I mean stunningly beautiful, she was the sexiest dancer I have ever seen in my life but she was wild, so after a few days she was shown the high road. I have a high tolerance for happiness and a low tolerance for nonsense. I then met a lovely lady in Chiang Mai via the internet, she was very attractive, good fun but I detected there was something just not quite right, maybe just a bit too slick?

So it got me thinking, what has been your experience of internet dating in Thailand?

ps I forgot to mention, Laughing Lady broke my bed, it cost me £600 for a new one. Plus paying for counselling too......expensive date.

First impression?

She's just not interested.........marriage isn't for everybody, and maybe she just wants to be who she is, a beautiful, educated, independent school teacher.

I say good on her, as long as she's happy

Loads of women similar in farangland, a lifestyle choice - up to them.

i know i cant spell,

but whats PMing,?????

Well neversure,

My thoughts are (1) if you like her, then be with her (2) if you are uncertain why she remained single, then just ask her. I mean, I don't know her, I've never met her, I don't speak to her. I don't know what's in her head. So ask her. She may give you a reasonable explanation.

Normally, when someone posts asking for "love advice" on this forum, I for the most part usually think "Troll". However, I am feeling magnanimous today, you have a respectable post count and have read your other posts such that I don't think you are a troll.

However, what gets me is why anyone in their right minds would ask for advice on their love life FROM THIS FORUM. I mean if it were me, and I actually need advice on my love life, I'd ask my close friends, relatives, someone I trust etc. A few people on this board, I would consider sending a PM about it. But putting it out there on the general forum....really?

Do you know how many absolute lunatics are on this forum? Like people stupid enough to transfer all of their financial assets to some girl after meeting her in a go go bar a few weeks ago. People who haven't ever been in a stable relationship their entire lives, hang out in some bar and it's go-go girl after go-go girl. People who spend their lives devoted to seeing how far they can skirt the law in Thailand. And you're going to take advice from them? Really?!?!

I should also add that there are many people on this forum who are married, have children, and have a stable home life. They don't usually post about their love life because they have their s**t in order so they don't need to talk about it. But then they get irritated because they already have their s**t in order so they can't figure out why someone else can't get their s**t in order too without having to resort to posting about it on Thaivisa.

So best advice: just talk to her about it first.

blether, you do know im only at work for 12 hours mate,,

i know i cant spell,

but whats PMing,?????

I'll give you a multiple choice option.

1. Pre-Menustrating

2. Post-Menustrating

3. Private Messaging

4. Prime Minister.

You'll get a Like if you get the right answer.

blether, you do know im only at work for 12 hours mate,,

That was only the first bit, here's the rest

Right.........a wee bit more detail......and I swear to God this story is true, I will never get over it. It was a lesson to me.........

So as you know we are in that state of undress in the bedroom, I thought there was some weird kind of glow in the room, it was a reflection from her skin. She hadn't dis-robed in the sun for about 20 years and her skin was this weird florescent colour. Now that combined with the fact that there was so much of it gave away this weird hue. I was looking at these various folds of blue tinged rolls of womanhood and wondering where to start.

Now we guys normally have a list of do's and don't do's That's based upon normal circumstances. I'm now faced with a double conundrum, nothing is in the correct place, well it doesn't seem to be in the correct place, and I have the double whammy of potential suffocation or crush death to deal with. So my do's and don't list was replaced with a no way and no farking way list.

After a bit of manoeuvring, investigating, exploring, deducing?? starting again, no I don't want to make love to the roll of fat on your back.......I eventually realised that I would need to use all my strength and get her legs into a certain position. After much manoeuvring, and I mean a lot, I had one of her legs pointing to Texas and the other pointing to Rome. Now this ain't natural, especially with someone of her size so I was a bit concerned in case she dislocated a hip or something. I had visions of the ambulance coming and of us having to take my bedroom window out and hoisting her outside. There was NO WAY anyone could have carried her down the stairs. I also had the additional problem of worrying that she may roll over and injure me and I wasn't having that.

Eventually I ahem, hit the bullseye, I will not go into details, but I will say that after a very short space of time she starting yelling like a banshee

about it being too sore. So I stopped, balanced myself, and said, " I can't help it, I have to put your legs in that position so I can get in ". well she said, it's not that, " Your too big for me ". It's not often theblether hears that so being very proud of himself he fired in with much gusto for about 30 seconds before he collapsed under the strain of trying to hold the legs up.

Anyway, you know that moment in French movies when they light a cigarette and enjoy the post coital sensations? Well, not me, already I was starting to feel scarred by this event, and the laughing lady next to me was starting to adopt that Rabbit Boiling mentality. I was now on the menu for her lust, and trust me, this is one meal I didn't want to be involved in. The attempts at tenderness by her were met by my saying I was exhausted by the effort and we would make love again in the morning. I squeezed into my allocated 14 inches at the side of the bed and fell asleep, a fitful nightmare-ish sleep.

I woke in the morning, jumped out of the bed like a gazelle, ran downstairs and put on breakfast. After a while she came down wearing a sleeveless top that showed off the full glory of her Bingo Wings. That put me off breakfast. As soon as I could I excused myself by telling her I had to go get my Son for the football match. she said " Your very early, it's only 9.30 ". I told her we had a tradition of going early to the matches and watching the entertainment etc. I got out the door, in my car, and drove round the corner. I sat there for a while trying to blank out the memories and get myself into Good Daddy mode. It was a real effort.

Eventually I went down and got my son and sister, ( nephew too for the purpose of accuracy ) and off we went to the game at 12.00. The game was very good, Scotland went up 1-0 in the first half, the atmosphere was superb!! but I was subdued. My sister kept asking me why, I couldn't tell her the truth, I couldn't tell her what was ion the house waiting for me.

After the match I went the the gym, had a swim, a jacuzzi, I did everything I could to hang out time before I went home. eventually I had no choice, I had to go face the reality of what I had done ( in both senses ) and when I walked in the door I got a big chocolately face smile. That's a cute look on a baby, not so on a baby rhino. After the pleasantries about the game, how was your day etc I returned to my gentlemanly mode. I told the laughing lady that we had no future together, and that night she was free to sleep in any one of the three bedrooms upstairs. To be fair to her she took it quite well for an apprentice bunny boiler and the rest of the evening passed pleasantly enough. At bed time she went upstairs and I followed later, and I was extremely disappointed to find her in my bed.

I'm telling you nothing else!! and I swear to God that is a true story.

im still reading your other post,,lol,

ill never finnish that in my break, ill have to print it and take it on the boiler,,lol

smokie,, please shut him up,,lol

im still reading your other post,,lol,

ill never finnish that in my break, ill have to print it and take it on the boiler,,lol

Just don't take it to the toilet.......no happy endings eh?

Right, here we go........and this story is true.

I was sitting at home one night years ago flicking through the interactive services on Sky TV when I came across a dating site. Not having used one before I posted a message and waited to see what would happen. After a few minutes a reply came through and that was me hooked on the world of internet dating.

I made all of the mistakes that you would expect to make, and had some great fun along the way too, however I don't think any date surpassed my first one in terms of being memorable. I obviously was a rookie when it came to matters of internet dating, and I wasn't too clever with computers either, ( no change there ) and the site I was on was quite basic. I ended up in friendly banter with a certain lady, then I was delighted to see that she had sent me her telephone number.

After calling her I realized that she lived in Montrose, which is a fair distance from Glasgow, so I thought would be the end of it. However she was very engaging on the telephone and she had a wonderful laugh. So now I was starting to feel a bit smitten. After a few days of messages flying back and forward, and phone calls this lady suggested that she come visit me for the weekend. Wow, great!! Oh no.....she can't. Scotland were playing in a World Cup Qualifier against Holland and I had promised to take my son. ( yes, there are two of us, and he is just like his Dad, shame that huh? ).

No problem said the laughing lady, "you go to the game, and I'll go shopping, that will work out perfect for me". Me Too!! two nights of guaranteed jumping and a day at the football, man heaven!! It was around about November time when this all took place, laughing lady said she would be down on the Friday night, and by the time she turned up it was dark outside. I lived in a house overlooking a valley at the time and I waited at my doorway as she parked the car in the adjacent driveway. It was a gorgeous crystal clear night, near enough a Full Moon, and enough for me to see the silhouette of the car as she parked it. It looked like a customized Ford Fiesta type from a distance, quite low to the ground, but I couldn't see any spoilers or the like on it. She stepped out of the car and I was surprised to see the car raise by about 8 inches in the dark.

l got a little wave ( of fear ) and I saw her make her way to the boot of her car to get her bags and coat. I stood there fearfully as she made her way towards the door as I realized that laughing lady was massive. I should have gotten a photograph. She must have been about 5 foot 10 tall and was a size 28 dress size easy. 280 lbs of female coming down the path ( I could feel it vibrate ) and to make it worse, she was wearing a cloak ala Dracula. Yes the blood drained from my face as she eclipsed the Moon. I was in trouble.

You know that way some overweight people are good looking? Nope, not this one. I could see now why she had driven 150 miles for some action. Anyway, I'm a gentleman, so I treated laughing lady like I would any lady. I had the candles lit, the massive bay window overlooking the beautiful Scottish valley, the stars twinkling and the watery moon shining, it was so romantic. Totally the wrong atmosphere!! I was like a man staring at the gallows!! Though to be fair laughing lady did have a sweet personality so I came up with a new cunning plan, one that you would not believe in it's cunningness!! I decided I would go on a marathon of blethering then maybe she would fall asleep. Well, I blethered, blethered, and blethered again, the clock kept ticking until 4.00am, but it was no use. Laughing Lady wanted some action and that was it.

" Take me to bed " she said. There are times in my life that I have carried ladies to bed but I didn't have a six ton crane handy, so I suggested that she walk upstairs herself, and I would be up after I blew out the candles etc ( possibly even my brains ). After 10 minutes I worked up the courage, went up to my room, and there she was.

A vision in Pink, wearing a beautiful size 16 silk chemise. I didn't know you vacuum pack women.

I made my way gingerly into my bed, I didn't have much space to play with, and just as my head hot the pillow she grabbed me and kissed me. Well, I say kissed but it was more like having the air sucked out of my lungs. I was starting to go blue and go into the death throes just as she released me. I gasped like a goldfish out of water and she said " make love to me ".

Ahem, well it's my own stupid fault, I should have gotten a photo, I had a quick negotiation to myself as to what I was prepared to do, narrowed it down quickly to next to nothing, then I helped her prize the chemise off. It came off with a pop, and her substantial ( ok, let's be nice ) voluptuous body spread out all over the bed, and some of it collapsed over the side of the bed too. This was a unique problem for me, I didn't know where to start, or more to the point I couldn't find where to start.......

Right, it's a public forum, I'm telling you nothing else, some burdens in life should be carried alone, and trust me this burden was heavy, very heavy.

Anyway, on one of my trips to Thailand I arranged to meet a lady via a dating site, and she was stunningly, and I mean stunningly beautiful, she was the sexiest dancer I have ever seen in my life but she was wild, so after a few days she was shown the high road. I have a high tolerance for happiness and a low tolerance for nonsense. I then met a lovely lady in Chiang Mai via the internet, she was very attractive, good fun but I detected there was something just not quite right, maybe just a bit too slick?

So it got me thinking, what has been your experience of internet dating in Thailand?

ps I forgot to mention, Laughing Lady broke my bed, it cost me £600 for a new one. Plus paying for counselling too......expensive date.

That's awesome. You should write short stories for money. That's as good as I've ever seen. Not often do I have to stop reading so I can laugh.

That's why they call me theblether

A Mate from Samui was Drinking himself to Death as when his Money ran low his Fiancee of nearly 3 years shot through with a new man, He moved to BKK and was just getting Rat Faced all day, well he tried Internet Dating and met a Thai Lady from Texas who then paid for him to Visit her in Texas where he marrid her and eventually got a Green card. He was far from handsome but one Lucky bastard

OP is the lady in question dark skinned? Thai men are know to prefer light/white skinned ladies and it's my impression that they prefer

them as white skinned as possible even if they are ugly as hell (not all of them off course) and the dark skinned beauty is ignored.

For most Westerner men coming here dark skin on a lady doesn't really matter, some might even prefer that as it's different from what they are used to

from home.

My wife is quite dark skinned but quite a beautiful lady as well (well in my eyes anyway) and have a heart of gold, but get the impression

that her white skinned "sisters" in BKK are looking down on her.

I would say darker skin all right, but not as dark as some I've seen. I have quite a few pictures of her and in none does she look light or real dark, but definitely darker than some.

Strange. If they don't need men financially then why are they looking for men?

Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. I smell a feminist.

It's not rare to find women in the category the OP describes. I know of 9 in our social circle ranging in age from mid 30's to 50ish. They all hold government jobs including a couple holding senior positions.

Generally they've graduated then immersed themselves in work and career. There eventually comes a time when they realise they've nearly or have missed the boat as far as settling down and having kids. They then look for companionship for later life.

She is the mistress of a powerful and rich Thai man.

Placed in a teaching post to occupy her time.

Everyone knows this but you.

Beware, he will protect his lady from poachers.

Has she been looking after her parents? Even if she has a number of siblings, it's quite common for one daughter to be the carer. The others marry and have families while this one continues to live at home with the parents.

". well she said, it's not that, " Your too big for me ". It's not often theblether hears that so being very proud of himself he fired in with much gusto for about 30 seconds before he collapsed under the strain of trying to hold the legs up.....

.

.........

I squeezed into my allocated 14 inches at the side of the bed and fell asleep, a fitful nightmare-ish sleep.

Now we know how you measured those 14 inches

Right, here we go........and this story is true.

I was sitting at home one night years ago flicking through the interactive services on Sky TV when I came across a dating site. Not having used one before I posted a message and waited to see what would happen. After a few minutes a reply came through and that was me hooked on the world of internet dating.

I made all of the mistakes that you would expect to make, and had some great fun along the way too, however I don't think any date surpassed my first one in terms of being memorable. I obviously was a rookie when it came to matters of internet dating, and I wasn't too clever with computers either, ( no change there ) and the site I was on was quite basic. I ended up in friendly banter with a certain lady, then I was delighted to see that she had sent me her telephone number.

After calling her I realized that she lived in Montrose, which is a fair distance from Glasgow, so I thought would be the end of it. However she was very engaging on the telephone and she had a wonderful laugh. So now I was starting to feel a bit smitten. After a few days of messages flying back and forward, and phone calls this lady suggested that she come visit me for the weekend. Wow, great!! Oh no.....she can't. Scotland were playing in a World Cup Qualifier against Holland and I had promised to take my son. ( yes, there are two of us, and he is just like his Dad, shame that huh? ).

No problem said the laughing lady, "you go to the game, and I'll go shopping, that will work out perfect for me". Me Too!! two nights of guaranteed jumping and a day at the football, man heaven!! It was around about November time when this all took place, laughing lady said she would be down on the Friday night, and by the time she turned up it was dark outside. I lived in a house overlooking a valley at the time and I waited at my doorway as she parked the car in the adjacent driveway. It was a gorgeous crystal clear night, near enough a Full Moon, and enough for me to see the silhouette of the car as she parked it. It looked like a customized Ford Fiesta type from a distance, quite low to the ground, but I couldn't see any spoilers or the like on it. She stepped out of the car and I was surprised to see the car raise by about 8 inches in the dark.

l got a little wave ( of fear ) and I saw her make her way to the boot of her car to get her bags and coat. I stood there fearfully as she made her way towards the door as I realized that laughing lady was massive. I should have gotten a photograph. She must have been about 5 foot 10 tall and was a size 28 dress size easy. 280 lbs of female coming down the path ( I could feel it vibrate ) and to make it worse, she was wearing a cloak ala Dracula. Yes the blood drained from my face as she eclipsed the Moon. I was in trouble.

You know that way some overweight people are good looking? Nope, not this one. I could see now why she had driven 150 miles for some action. Anyway, I'm a gentleman, so I treated laughing lady like I would any lady. I had the candles lit, the massive bay window overlooking the beautiful Scottish valley, the stars twinkling and the watery moon shining, it was so romantic. Totally the wrong atmosphere!! I was like a man staring at the gallows!! Though to be fair laughing lady did have a sweet personality so I came up with a new cunning plan, one that you would not believe in it's cunningness!! I decided I would go on a marathon of blethering then maybe she would fall asleep. Well, I blethered, blethered, and blethered again, the clock kept ticking until 4.00am, but it was no use. Laughing Lady wanted some action and that was it.

" Take me to bed " she said. There are times in my life that I have carried ladies to bed but I didn't have a six ton crane handy, so I suggested that she walk upstairs herself, and I would be up after I blew out the candles etc ( possibly even my brains ). After 10 minutes I worked up the courage, went up to my room, and there she was.

A vision in Pink, wearing a beautiful size 16 silk chemise. I didn't know you vacuum pack women.

I made my way gingerly into my bed, I didn't have much space to play with, and just as my head hot the pillow she grabbed me and kissed me. Well, I say kissed but it was more like having the air sucked out of my lungs. I was starting to go blue and go into the death throes just as she released me. I gasped like a goldfish out of water and she said " make love to me ".

Ahem, well it's my own stupid fault, I should have gotten a photo, I had a quick negotiation to myself as to what I was prepared to do, narrowed it down quickly to next to nothing, then I helped her prize the chemise off. It came off with a pop, and her substantial ( ok, let's be nice ) voluptuous body spread out all over the bed, and some of it collapsed over the side of the bed too. This was a unique problem for me, I didn't know where to start, or more to the point I couldn't find where to start.......

Right, it's a public forum, I'm telling you nothing else, some burdens in life should be carried alone, and trust me this burden was heavy, very heavy.

Anyway, on one of my trips to Thailand I arranged to meet a lady via a dating site, and she was stunningly, and I mean stunningly beautiful, she was the sexiest dancer I have ever seen in my life but she was wild, so after a few days she was shown the high road. I have a high tolerance for happiness and a low tolerance for nonsense. I then met a lovely lady in Chiang Mai via the internet, she was very attractive, good fun but I detected there was something just not quite right, maybe just a bit too slick?

So it got me thinking, what has been your experience of internet dating in Thailand?

ps I forgot to mention, Laughing Lady broke my bed, it cost me £600 for a new one. Plus paying for counselling too......expensive date.

The looser the waistband the deeper the quicksand; or so I've read

I'll just say two words, but I could be mistaken.. "Black Widow"

I really try to avoid posts like this I must ask, How do you know she NOT already married?

If you have not met the person in real life, believe nothing.

How do you know it's not really a man pretending to be a woman, I knew a Farang who used to pretend he was a Thai woman online, the purpose of this was to try to con old desperate men into sending her/him money.

I had a GF that used to go online spinning tales, it was hilarious, and sometimes profitable, and yes, I met her online!!!!

Maybe she is a Lesbian ?

A lot of girls will never touch a man , and this is one of them .

Carpet muncher?

I thought about that, or too independent. So why would she be on the internet two or three times a day for a year, looking for a farang? ??

Bunny Boiler?

Carpet muncher?

I thought about that, or too independent. So why would she be on the internet two or three times a day for a year, looking for a farang? ??

MONEY!

So you've never met this girl, which makes it a different game.

Probably a hooker trying to reel in a gullible customer, expect everything she claims to be a lie.

(including her age and weight)

Happens. Best before runs out while attending a university or entering career pipe.

Carpet muncher?

I thought about that, or too independent. So why would she be on the internet two or three times a day for a year, looking for a farang? ??

MONEY!

So you've never met this girl, which makes it a different game.

Probably a hooker trying to reel in a gullible customer, expect everything she claims to be a lie.

(including her age and weight)

Have you thought that she's not attractive to Thai men?

Maybe she has dark skin, for example.

Many of us, including me think some women are beautiful when we first come here but a few years on wouldn't look twice at the same woman.

Why I always say never get married in Thailand unless youve lived here for a few years and understand why some women want to marry you.