Cowboy Gardeners

[SundayAfternoon]

I don't have a big garden, just a little bit of lawn, a couple of trees, and a few shrubs, really. In between are my container pots growing vegetables, herbs and some fruit. Oh, how I tend them - giving them fertilizer and water in order to coax them into giving me a little bit of veg and a few herbs every now and again. That is, until my 'gardener' comes in.

I try and tend the garden proper, as much as I can myself too, but about once a month the lawn needs cutting and the shrubs need trimming. It's not such a big job, but one, that unfortunately, I can't do myself. And, so, I call for the 'gardener'...

I use the word very lightly, with just a hint of irony. Because as I sit here typing there are three people out there hacking, chopping, slashing. Dare I say 'destroying'? my garden. The whipper snipper is hitting mud, and chunks of gravel are hitting the windows. What was lush and green grass, is now bare, dry earth. The Shrubs are being hacked down to about a foot off the ground.

This is after I told them that I just wanted a trim, and could they please, please, please, leave a little grass, so that it's not too short.

I tell them that they don't need to do anything to the containers. I'll take care of them. (Please stay away from them!) But, it means nothing. The step ladder gets put against the back wall, and slices through the vine of my Thai melon. I have to go out at this point and ask him to remove the ladder. "Mai Pen Rai' he says, smiling. After I've spend months nurturing this bl**dy plant! The chillis are getting battered by falling foliage from the tree. The stem is laden with chillis, and is now close to touching the floor. I'm almost weeping.

I tried to move everything out of their way. But it means every month I'm lugging pots around. They're heavy. I don't want to have to disturb the vegetables each time, especially the tomatoes which are growing up wires... but the 'gardeners' don't care about the wries, and 2 of them are now dangling, intertwined, and caught up in the chopped foliage.

They're just plants you might think. But I've tended thses plants lovingly. I've made compost, I've fertilized and watered religiously. Only to see all my hard work destroyed by an idiot with a chopping device in his hand, calling himself a 'gardener'.

He chucks the chopped foliage over the back wall.

He's approaching gardening with such irreverence. There's no care. And this 'gardener' came recomeded by a Thai friend as being a good one. I dread to think what a bad one would be like!

Edited October 21, 2012 by SundayAfternoon

[giddyup]

He's probably not a gardener at all, just a handyman. i have a great husband and wife team that really know their stuff, they're not cheap, charge me 300 baht to mow the lawn, trim the hedge and edges, but they do a great job.

[Turcotte]

My first years i needed somebody to help me to arrange few thing with local thai around my condo .

I Bar Find a girl from her bar and ask her to follow me all day and arrange all my issue ( hospital , assurance , rent . housekeeping etc) . For 500 bath is a good value and you have a lot of girl available .

[giddyup]

My first years i needed somebody to help me to arrange few thing with local thai around my condo .

I Bar Find a girl from her bar and ask her to follow me all day and arrange all my issue ( hospital , assurance , rent . housekeeping etc) . For 500 bath is a good value and you have a lot of girl available .

...and this has to do what with gardening?

[mahtin]

Generally handy, I expect.

[mahtin]

Just generally handy?

[giddyup]

Just generally handy?

What are you on about?

[krisb]

Well if these gardeners offer to build a fence, (like the cowboy builder) thread, say no.

By the way, why would you sit here telling this while they are outside chopping your garden up?

And you just let them!!....I dont understand.

Edited October 21, 2012 by krisb

[eeeya]

sounds like my "Painters"

wife thinks their last job was in a banana plantation cause they certainly didnt know anything about painting

[phuturatica]

My first years i needed somebody to help me to arrange few thing with local thai around my condo .

I Bar Find a girl from her bar and ask her to follow me all day and arrange all my issue ( hospital , assurance , rent . housekeeping etc) . For 500 bath is a good value and you have a lot of girl available .

What a ridiculous post?!

[phuturatica]

Time for you to do your research and get a real gardener in rather than just some handyman who has no idea what you're doing.

How is your Thai?! Maybe you can ask around and come to some kind of agreement.If you have Thai friends, explain your problem and ask them to help you.

Otherwise you're going to have to get firm with these Thai people and probably supervise their every move. If I was you, I'd be out there directing the whole shebang and having them do what I wanted them to do rather than just hoping for the best whilst they hack your garden up!

It may seem a little snobby but sit outside on a chair and tell them what you want them to do. If they're doing it wrong, stop them and correct them.

[eeeya]

My first years i needed somebody to help me to arrange few thing with local thai around my condo .

I Bar Find a girl from her bar and ask her to follow me all day and arrange all my issue ( hospital , assurance , rent . housekeeping etc) . For 500 bath is a good value and you have a lot of girl available .

What a ridiculous post?!

if you dont know anyone here it would help.

I know someone who gets them to clean his house, was his dogs and wash the car.

not my cup of tea though

[pigeonjake]

My first years i needed somebody to help me to arrange few thing with local thai around my condo .

I Bar Find a girl from her bar and ask her to follow me all day and arrange all my issue ( hospital , assurance , rent . housekeeping etc) . For 500 bath is a good value and you have a lot of girl available .

What a ridiculous post?!

i dont think its to funny,

i think he means that when he first moved there, couldnt speak thai, so pay a girl from a bar to translate things for you, insurance hospital ect ect,

to be honest i dont think its a bad idea and local knolage , she might of known a good gardener, some girls might even do a little gardening, my wife loves to take care of the garden, you never know,

jake

[chonabot]

I've had about 5 'Gardeners' in as many months - they need to be vetted if possible.

Some have done half the job and then demanded half the money - I agreed once and then waited 3 weeks for them to return - they needed more money for Lao.

There are some good ones but even theses tend to have a drink problem - There is a lady gardener who is very good and doesn't drink, but she is booked for months ahead.

[Eff1n2ret]

OP, if you're up to lugging the plant containers about, why can't you do these other jobs yourself? If it's only a small lawn, a small electric rotary mower would keep it in trim, and you can get long-handled shears to reach a lot of the dead palm-fronds and stuff.

I know what you mean, though, about cowboy gardeners. We do our own gardening, but this week I sat and watched while some "gardeners" committed similar abuse of a neighbour's lawn with an industrial-type strimmer. A while back he replaced the original grass with a layer of topsoil and new turves - and these monkeys come along and scalp it with the strimmer. However, my impression is that none of my neighbours know or care very much about gardening - a bit of grass, the odd tree or shrub, and of course loads of naff concrete ornaments and that's it.

But hacking shrubs back mercilessly may be part of the Thai psyche - perhaps inherited from ancestors hacking back the jungle. Sometimes my wife shocks me with the amount by which she cuts back some of the foliage in our garden.

[StreetCowboy]

Personally, I find this whole thread deeply offensive.

[mogandave]

In all fairness, is there anything that doesn't grow back here? They hat-rack hundreds of trees in the park and burn off every bit of grass here every year and it always comes back with a vengence,

[cooked]

Personally, I find this whole thread deeply offensive.

Why, because you don't like gardeners?

Consider my situation: I would start something in the garden, go off for a day or two and find that my beloved son-in-law had demolished it and done it better. No doubt, but not the way I wanted it. He is now banned from the garden and avoids eye contact, I put my foot in it there. It took me a month or two to get to the point that I don't want him to do anything else, great frustration all around.

[giddyup]

In all fairness, is there anything that doesn't grow back here? They hat-rack hundreds of trees in the park and burn off every bit of grass here every year and it always comes back with a vengence,

So true. We get three trees pruned back twice a year so there's basically only bare branches. One month later they have full foliage again.

[StreetCowboy]

Personally, I find this whole thread deeply offensive.

Why, because you don't like gardeners?

Consider my situation: I would start something in the garden, go off for a day or two and find that my beloved son-in-law had demolished it and done it better. No doubt, but not the way I wanted it. He is now banned from the garden and avoids eye contact, I put my foot in it there. It took me a month or two to get to the point that I don't want him to do anything else, great frustration all around.

To the OP:

I don't start threads having a go at accountants pretending to be managers, or shop window dummies pretending to be go go dancers. If you wanted a gardener, you should have found one and employed one, rather than taking on a second rate unemployed cowboy for a job he wasn't qualified for. So don't tarnish a whole profession just becuase you can't select and employ competent staff.

SC

[edwinchester]

We have a very large landscaped garden with about 1600 sq metres of lawn. Just after it was laid one of the guys in our village said he would help me cut it. The next day he turned up with his herd of cows and didn't understand why I wouldn't let them through the gate.

[giddyup]

Personally, I find this whole thread deeply offensive.

Why, because you don't like gardeners?

Consider my situation: I would start something in the garden, go off for a day or two and find that my beloved son-in-law had demolished it and done it better. No doubt, but not the way I wanted it. He is now banned from the garden and avoids eye contact, I put my foot in it there. It took me a month or two to get to the point that I don't want him to do anything else, great frustration all around.

To the OP:

I don't start threads having a go at accountants pretending to be managers, or shop window dummies pretending to be go go dancers. If you wanted a gardener, you should have found one and employed one, rather than taking on a second rate unemployed cowboy for a job he wasn't qualified for. So don't tarnish a whole profession just becuase you can't select and employ competent staff.

SC

I think finding a qualified gardener is no different than finding a qualified plumber, electrician etc. It's all hit and miss, because anyone can call themselves anything here. I've had the village handyman do electical work, plumbing, landscaping etc., but is he "qualified" as in a certified tradesman? Hell no, but he does a good job, at least I haven't been electrocuted yet.

[Eff1n2ret]

If you wanted a gardener, you should have found one and employed one, rather than taking on a second rate unemployed cowboy for a job he wasn't qualified for. So don't tarnish a whole profession just becuase you can't select and employ competent staff.

SC

But the OP said that the person he employed came recommended. His point appears to be that good gardeners who actually know something about horticulture are far and few between, and from my experience that is probably the case - and it may be so because judging by my neighbours (falang as well as Thai), few are really interested in their gardens and are content to pay a few hundred baht a month to people who aren't real gardeners. You pay peanuts, etc. etc.

[F1fanatic]

Personally, I find this whole thread deeply offensive.

Why, because you don't like gardeners?

Consider my situation: I would start something in the garden, go off for a day or two and find that my beloved son-in-law had demolished it and done it better. No doubt, but not the way I wanted it. He is now banned from the garden and avoids eye contact, I put my foot in it there. It took me a month or two to get to the point that I don't want him to do anything else, great frustration all around.

To the OP:

I don't start threads having a go at accountants pretending to be managers, or shop window dummies pretending to be go go dancers. If you wanted a gardener, you should have found one and employed one, rather than taking on a second rate unemployed cowboy for a job he wasn't qualified for. So don't tarnish a whole profession just becuase you can't select and employ competent staff.

SC

I think finding a qualified gardener is no different than finding a qualified plumber, electrician etc. It's all hit and miss, because anyone can call themselves anything here. I've had the village handyman do electical work, plumbing, landscaping etc., but is he "qualified" as in a certified tradesman? Hell no, but he does a good job, at least I haven't been electrocuted yet.

Its trial and error. I've employed a few different gardeners and none of them (I'm happy to say) were as bad as those employed by the OP!

Even so, they didn't take anywhere near as much care when planting/pruning etc. as I would have done - and I didn't want to follow them around as (in my mind...), this would be rude.

The owner of a garden centre (from whom I frequently bought plants), apropos of nothing said they knew a good gardener. I was v wary but, as I wasn't happy with my current gardeners, arranged for them to come round to give me a quote.

Long story short, the new gardener wanted more money than my current gardeners, but seemed knowledgeable about plants so I decided to give him a try and arranged for him to come round for a couple of months to see how things went.

I'm so glad I did! Mistakes are occasionally made, but he tells me (rather than me discovering later...). He does an excellent job and is always happy to provide much-needed advice on gardening problems. Amazingly, he also ASKS me how hard I would like shrubs/trees to be pruned, rather than just ignoring the over-grown bamboos/bouganvillea and hacking back 'easy' shrubs way harder than I would like.

As I love my garden, he is well worth the extra few hundred baht.

[jbrain]

I've had about 5 'Gardeners' in as many months - they need to be vetted if possible.

Some have done half the job and then demanded half the money - I agreed once and then waited 3 weeks for them to return - they needed more money for Lao.

There are some good ones but even theses tend to have a drink problem - There is a lady gardener who is very good and doesn't drink, but she is booked for months ahead.

So, all gardeners are alcoholics..............or is it that all alcoholics are gardeners?

[jbrain]

In my previous house in the Moobaan I would have my palms cut 2 times a year, and always had a problem finding someone who would do it at a reasonable price.

Some would ask up to 1000 Baht for the job, where the total size of the plot including house is 164 sq meter, so you can imagine that it's a small job actually.

Then someone advised me that the garbage man would do this kind of job as well and upon asking he charged me 400 Baht, which I accepted.

I wasn't around when he was cutting my palms, but I can consider that he did a good job for the price.................. in fact, most of my trees don't need to be cut again for the next few years

[cooked]

Personally, I find this whole thread deeply offensive.

Why, because you don't like gardeners?

Consider my situation: I would start something in the garden, go off for a day or two and find that my beloved son-in-law had demolished it and done it better. No doubt, but not the way I wanted it. He is now banned from the garden and avoids eye contact, I put my foot in it there. It took me a month or two to get to the point that I don't want him to do anything else, great frustration all around.

To the OP:

I don't start threads having a go at accountants pretending to be managers, or shop window dummies pretending to be go go dancers. If you wanted a gardener, you should have found one and employed one, rather than taking on a second rate unemployed cowboy for a job he wasn't qualified for. So don't tarnish a whole profession just becuase you can't select and employ competent staff.

SC

Nice one. I earned my money as a landscaper for 40 years. A piece of paper doesn't make you a gardener and recommendations can be misleading. I finished up just hirinf guys for half a day, only way to find out.

Ps, most gardeners are alcoholics, hic.

[David006]

absolutely no empathy here......ok we come to Thailand and oliver sudden ,(unless unfortunately we are cripple/sick and have no use of our arms or legs) we think we should have a "gardener"..then we complain because the 300bt we pay does not give us an "Adam".

Fricking colonial Raj wannabees??

Know a guy who bemoans and bitches about the price and quality of a gardener but thinks nothing of spending thousands on a Koi fish pond......

A good brush cutter is what... about 9k? .....20 sq metres will take 20 minutes+-....a pair of secateurs is a bout 200bt ....come on you guys ..get off your arse or please stop whining..!!! Sorry tis is not 19th century Malaya or India

my old mum in Canada pays a student 20 bucks an hour to weed!!!

Edited October 21, 2012 by David006

[F1fanatic]

absolutely no empathy here......ok we come to Thailand and oliver sudden ,(unless unfortunately we are cripple/sick and have no use of our arms or legs) we think we should have a "gardener"..then we complain because the 300bt we pay does not give us an "Adam".

Fricking colonial Raj wannabees??

Know a guy who bemoans and bitches about the price and quality of a gardener but thinks nothing of spending thousands on a Koi fish pond......

A good brush cutter is what... about 9k? .....20 sq metres will take 20 minutes+-....a pair of secateurs is a bout 200bt ....come on you guys ..get off your arse or please stop whining..!!! Sorry tis is not 19th century Malaya or India

my old mum in Canada pays a student 20 bucks an hour to weed!!!

It depends on the size of your garden...

Personally, I prefer not to spend a couple of hours standing in the sun with an industrial size strimmer (necessary as much of the grass is not exactly even) - even if I was strong enough to do this!

As I said in my earlier post, I prefer to pay more to employ a good gardener who actually knows about the plants/shrubs, listens to me and - even better - seems to have similar ideas about pruning.

Edit - In my case, I'm paying 1,700 bht twice a month - not 300 bht. Expensive - comparative to the big gardening companies here that send a bunch of lowly-paid staff in that have no idea what they are doing and, more importantly, don't care.

Edited October 21, 2012 by F1fanatic

[weegee]

We have a very large landscaped garden with about 1600 sq metres of lawn. Just after it was laid one of the guys in our village said he would help me cut it. The next day he turned up with his herd of cows and didn't understand why I wouldn't let them through the gate.

Maybe you should have....Cow SH## is the best fertilizer you can get. especially in pot plants and Lawn.