(pre-Sriracha-Full-Of-Farang days).

The farang population has indeed expanded exponentially in the short years I have been here John. I wonder why? There are no farang oriented establishments except for the new "Dream Kitchen" at Robinsons.

I must admit that I often see an older gent sitting at that little bar like place at the tuk tuk stand outside drinking a beer. Funnily enough I sit there sipping on a cold one whilst the wife gets her hair done often too and we have never swapped a word

....and we have never swapped a word

Why don't you fling caution to the wind and take the initiative?

....and we have never swapped a word

Why don't you fling caution to the wind and take the initiative?

He drinks Singha

Nah, i think we both like the peace and quiet.

No missus = no shopping.

Perhaps oneday.

He drinks Singha

Ahhh....yes...I understand.

Knew a guy who married a BG out of the Black Cat bar in Soi Cowboy in the early eighties. She got so bored being out of the bar scene that she went back to the bar as a "cashier" to be amongst her friends.

Then she missed the dancing, so, against the wishes of her husband, she started dancing again.

The end result of this sad story, was that if the husband wanted to have sex with his own wife, he had to pay the bar-fine, though I think he got a 50% discount when it came to her fee.

He actually stuck it out for another year before he finally divorced her.

Sad and funny I'd say. At least he made the right choice in the end. It seems a lot of guys never get out.

He drinks Singha

Ahhh....yes...I understand.

Not only is Sir Burr my hero with his Sala complete with beer fridge, he is also my inspiration.

Just for you Sir I have created a new avatar!

Knew a guy who married a BG out of the Black Cat bar in Soi Cowboy in the early eighties. She got so bored being out of the bar scene that she went back to the bar as a "cashier" to be amongst her friends.

Then she missed the dancing, so, against the wishes of her husband, she started dancing again.

The end result of this sad story, was that if the husband wanted to have sex with his own wife, he had to pay the bar-fine, though I think he got a 50% discount when it came to her fee.

He actually stuck it out for another year before he finally divorced her.

Sad tale....but it happens a lot, quite a few of the girls find the lifestyle exciting, suddenly they get married to a guy that they really dont know all that well ...They see their mates still pulling the money in and having the freedom to do as they want...and life becomes boring again. Obviously the girl in this case wasnt really ready to settle down.

Which brings up another point.... too many guys rush into marriage with BG's because they are scared that another farang will come in with a better offer, they dont take the time to get to really know the girl as they would in a Non BG situation or even with a girl from home. After a while both parties realise this and problems begin to creep in, this probably accounts for most of the failures and horror stories we hear about.

Just a thought

I do have one question for people who have married BG's that I have been thinking about.

How do you feel special with a BG - this is before you decide to marry and everything... obviously most will go with other men than you on a daily basis. Doesn't this make you feel jealous?

Or do you not need to feel special?

No flaming please, I am just trying to understand, it's an honest question.

I do have one question for people who have married BG's that I have been thinking about.

How do you feel special with a BG - this is before you decide to marry and everything... obviously most will go with other men than you on a daily basis. Doesn't this make you feel jealous?

Or do you not need to feel special?

No flaming please, I am just trying to understand, it's an honest question.

If the girl you choose to stay with goes with other guys still then she'd be told to get on her bike.

Even a BG can decide that enough is enough and decide that they want to stay with somebody.

Spend time together first for a few months as i did then move in together then a year and half or so later we tied the knot, it was 50/50 as she'd been stung before by her ex husband so she was keeping an eye on me as much as i was her.

If there was doubt we would'nt be together now.

I do have one question for people who have married BG's that I have been thinking about.

How do you feel special with a BG - this is before you decide to marry and everything... obviously most will go with other men than you on a daily basis. Doesn't this make you feel jealous?

Or do you not need to feel special?

No flaming please, I am just trying to understand, it's an honest question.

I find that hard to answer....my ex Thai wife was a non BG....my next GF was the one I mentioned here...no jealousy as I knew what was going on....What made that one special was that I was the one she took home to meet the kids and folks, my name is etched in a concrete slab in her home..

My current girl worked daytime and didnt go with many guys, and she gave up the work before we commenced our relationship on a serious level.

I do have one question for people who have married BG's that I have been thinking about.

How do you feel special with a BG - this is before you decide to marry and everything... obviously most will go with other men than you on a daily basis. Doesn't this make you feel jealous?

How many men marry virgins?

If your wife was sexually experienced prior to you marrying her, how do you feel that she slept, and probably loved, other men before you slipped a wedding ring on her finger?

Are you jealous when she comes into contact with those other men?

A bar girl makes most of her money from sleeping with customers.........sleeping, NOT necessarily loving.

Whether she decides that "enough is enough" as Dave states, or whether she finds the right man who pulls on her heart strings, only she and her chosen partner will know.

Once the choice has been made, the marriage could (or will) be just as good as all other marriages.

I do have one question for people who have married BG's that I have been thinking about.

How do you feel special with a BG - this is before you decide to marry and everything... obviously most will go with other men than you on a daily basis. Doesn't this make you feel jealous?

How many men marry virgins?

If your wife was sexually experienced prior to you marrying her, how do you feel that she slept, and probably loved, other men before you slipped a wedding ring on her finger?

Are you jealous when she comes into contact with those other men?

A bar girl makes most of her money from sleeping with customers.........sleeping, NOT necessarily loving.

Whether she decides that "enough is enough" as Dave states, or whether she finds the right man who pulls on her heart strings, only she and her chosen partner will know.

Once the choice has been made, the marriage could (or will) be just as good as all other marriages.

good post MM...

Are you jealous when she comes into contact with those other men?

Jealousy... the old "green eyed monster"... BG or not, how do all of us handle such a situation?

Me? I used to get insanely jealous of my GF's chatting with other guys... both back in falungland and here in Thailand... especially if the guys were younger, better looking, better dressed etc........... than me.

I tell you true... that jealousy of mine cost me more in fcuked up relationships than it was worth.

I have learnt... and I wish I had learned it many many years ago... is to be yourself and trust in your partner.

Period.

If your partner wants to stray... she will.

End of story... get over it and dont get cut up over it. She wasn't for you.

If she can see that you have faith in her to have a good time with members of the opposite sex without you getting all over-protective and jealous, she will see your self confidence and trust, and react accordingly. She will feel your trust and love you all the more for it.

I don't see BG's being any different to any other woman... they all have needs (both financial and physical.. and of course... mental, or dare I say it? metaphysical), and if you can fill those needs to the extent that she does not need nor want to go elsewhere.... she'll stay... and be happy to stay.

Communication and trust... they keys (in my mind) to a healthy and lasting relationship.

I don't see BG's being any different to any other woman... they all have needs (both financial and physical.. and of course... mental, or dare I say it? metaphysical), and if you can fill those needs to the extent that she does not need nor want to go elsewhere.... she'll stay... and be happy to stay.

Communication and trust... they keys (in my mind) to a healthy and lasting relationship.

I first met my girl 2 years ago nearly to the day...she was a daytime worker in a bar, the following November after very little contact. I did a short trip to Cambodia before heading into Thailand, I heard she had left the bar and it was true, she had left the bar because of problems with a workmate and because another guy promised to send her money etc....I made contact with her through her friend and my gf told me that she had a bf now and had tried to ring me (I was in Cambodia at that time)....I wished her good luck.

After a few days I found out that she wanted to come to Patters to explain to me face to face...so the arrangements were made. We really hit it off on that trip and her family came up to meet me from BKK. The other guy it seems was not a nice person and she realises that she could have made a big mistake. we have been together since that trip.

What got me was her honesty....She could have came to see me and led me on while checking her best options, but she was straight upfront when I first spoke to her on that trip.

So JD I will add honesty on to your keys...She knows I could have just walked away from her after that first call.

Jealousy and possessiveness are elements that contribute to marriage/relationship breakdown. Money problems, incompatibility etc. are other issues.

Jealousy in either partner will be a problem. It must be controlled.

'Trust' is the number one attribute that needs be developed.

My philosophy has always been to trust everybody until they break that trust, and then to never trust them again. You can continue to be friends with the person, but there are no second chances as far as trust in concerned.

In that regard, I expect my partner to be trustworthy, and in return I am careful not to shatter the trust that she has with me.

Communication and honesty are elements that strengthen the trust.

The other important element of eliminating the inner feeling of jealousy, is self-confidence. You need to believe that you are the best person in the world as far as your partner is concerned. You strengthen that belief by being devoted to your partner and doing your utmost to make her happy. If she is a good partner, she will reciprocate.

This, together with 'trust,' will go towards eliminating the feelings of jealousy when old boyfriends/girfriends are around.

In applying this post to the BG thread, a persons past sexual history, whether she sold sex or whether she gave it away free, is irrelevant. What is important is the state of her mind and her heart today.

Faithfulness and trust go hand in glove.

(pre-Sriracha-Full-Of-Farang days).

The farang population has indeed expanded exponentially in the short years I have been here John. I wonder why? There are no farang oriented establishments except for the new "Dream Kitchen" at Robinsons.

I must admit that I often see an older gent sitting at that little bar like place at the tuk tuk stand outside drinking a beer. Funnily enough I sit there sipping on a cold one whilst the wife gets her hair done often too and we have never swapped a word

A couple of categories for the influx of Westerners here are the "fed-up-with-Pattaya-and-want-to-live-in-normal-Thailand" which is probably the most. The second most common newcomer are the English teachers. Many of the local schools have greatly expanded their farang staff.

Ahhh... you mean the "No Name" bar.... hahahaha.. (that's not really their name, but it's what I call them after my favorite drink there, they call it "No Name Cocktail"...

and yes... a nice place to sit while the womenfolk are busy. I've been there a few times myself and spoke with several people.. and some of them have provided the above notes. Best conversation I had there was with an Indonesian sailor. Meet all kinds of people there.

I will meet you there for a beer in a few weeks if your free S/John. The Missus will be very busy pushing out number 2 (child that is ) and I will need somewhere to sit and get my head back together.

I will give you a bell. Our mate E-Al should come along too, nice guy he is.

In fact I did not meet my wife in a bar but very easily could have in my early trips to Thailand since that is where new visitors most always go as I did. For guys that do marry girls from the bar, it is of no consequence. Girls that have worked there are just people like you and I and they should not be looked at any differently. No one should be ashamed to admit their wife has worked there IMO. Its totally fine.

It's good to know that you fell that way Trip and a good answer .

I met my wife in a bar . We have been married almost 5 years . She gave me a beautiful daughter and a new life . I in turn gave her the same .

He actually stuck it out for another year before he finally divorced her.

Don't you mean he stuck it in for another year before he finally divorced her.

He actually stuck it out for another year before he finally divorced her.

Don't you mean he stuck it in for another year before he finally divorced her.

LMAO

Have any of you found negative attitudes to your wife because people assume that she is a BG whether or not she was ???

Have any of you found negative attitudes to your wife because people assume that she is a BG whether or not she was ???

I've sensed it before and they can kiss my arse to be honest.

Have any of you found negative attitudes to your wife because people assume that she is a BG whether or not she was ???

I think that happens if you are farang with a thai gf whether you are in Thailand or the west, its unfortunate but the way many people think.

As Dave says, who cares? (Oh yes, Pudgimelon does).

As Dave says, who cares? (Oh yes, Pudgimelon does).

Problem with people like Pudgie, is he don't like it when someone says it about his wife, but I bet him and his wife are the kind of people to make snide comments when they see other farang with their wives which just adds to the problem.

One of the problems I encounter is going out for a drink...without fail when I go to the toilet some guy tries chatting her up....and I think it is in part because of the BG stereotype that a lot of guys here have....She is Thai and with a western guy therefore she must be on the game or have been on the game.

I may be wrong, but somehow I don't think anyone would ever mistake Ms. B for a bar girl.

However, I did meet her in a bar and she was working at the time.

So, who knows....

But, I voted "no".

I may be wrong, but somehow I don't think anyone would ever mistake Ms. B for a bar girl.

However, I did meet her in a bar and she was working at the time.

So, who knows....

But, I voted "no".

Sometimes just being Thai with a farang is enough. I guarantee someone would have made that comment about you and her whether you noticed it or not. I bet if you took her to the UK as well, you'd be noticing it as well just because she's Thai/Asian and not UK born.

I havent noticed any animosity or negativity towards me or her myself - Thai people in non-touristy areas do look at us though, but they look even if it is just me out by myself. I guess it might be different if we went out drinking in a Western country like Gburns describes, but we rarely do, and when we do it is usually with a large group of friends... and she does not have any of the stereotypical characteristics either.

I havent noticed any animosity or negativity towards me or her myself - Thai people in non-touristy areas do look at us though, but they look even if it is just me out by myself. I guess it might be different if we went out drinking in a Western country like Gburns describes, but we rarely do, and when we do it is usually with a large group of friends... and she does not have any of the stereotypical characteristics either.

It doesn't have to do with stereo typical characteristics though I guess a huge dragon tattoo snaking down their back and a ton of gold on doesn't help. Just a Thai being with a farang is enough for some Thai people to assume that she is from a bar or in the 'industry' at some level, the same way that some people assume all Black people are drug dealers. The stupid bigotted people are everywhere in this world I'm afraid.