Who Wai's Who?

[sms747]

Had a big party at the weekend with all of the mrs very large family here in Bkk. Apparently I upset one of her older sisters by not wai ing her first, I am about 15 years older than her. The only one of them older than me is the wifes mum so I always wai her first, I always thought anyone younger than me should wai me first. Normally the wife says yes but it goes on HER age, anyone younger than her should wai us/me first but anyone older than her means I should wai them first even when i am on my own. Just to confuse things SOME younger people, but older than the mrs, wai me first anyway. These people are khmere from buri ram if it makes any difference, pain in the arse as usual. Some youngsters never wai me at all, unless you give them money when they leave of course.

Edited February 26, 2013 by sms747

[transam]

I go along with your thoughts. . Though l do tend to Wai folk out of habit, if they don't like it, tough sh_t.

[wooloomooloo]

I would imagine she's just playing up and has an inferiority complex. I wouldn't worry about it too much and certainly wouldn't wai her first next time as she's acting like a kid anyway.

[TommoPhysicist]

Don't wai anyone, it's not your custom.

PS

I don't kneel in the gutter with my shoes off in front of monks ....... it's not my custom.

Edited February 26, 2013 by TommoPhysicist

[theblether]

Shock development....I agree with Tommo.

I'll need to go for a lie down

[dundee48]

Don't wai anyone, it's not your custom.

PS

I don't kneel in the gutter with my shoes off in front of monks ....... it's not my custom.

Ecactly,they don`t offer to shake my hand and i don`t wai them.

[catmac]

I've said it before, but I doubt that one in a thousand of us farangs will ever really master the idiosyncracies of the Thai wai. So, as Tommo says, don't wai at all. A polite smile and a gentle nod of the head in greeting is all that is required of us.

[harrry]

With the exception of her mother and her father who I would wai I do not consider yu should initiate a wai with anyone else mentioned. Respond to a wai from the older sister with a wai or a nod.

Children who wai me politely always get responded to either with a general wai or with a smile and word. Manners from the kids needs to be reciprocated for respect to grow.

Edited February 26, 2013 by harrry

[transam]

Don't wai anyone, it's not your custom.

PS

I don't kneel in the gutter with my shoes off in front of monks ....... it's not my custom.

Ecactly,they don`t offer to shake my hand and i don`t wai them.

Most don't know about shaking hands, BUT, Thai folk l have met over the years now Wai me and then offer their hand. Great stuff.

[wooloomooloo]

A polite smile and a gentle nod of the head in greeting is all that is required of us.

Give her a traditional UK custom... and a moon her.

Edited February 26, 2013 by wooloomooloo

[Fookhaht]

Don't wai anyone, it's not your custom.

PS

I don't kneel in the gutter with my shoes off in front of monks ....... it's not my custom.

Ecactly,they don`t offer to shake my hand and i don`t wai them.

What a < Flame removed >, who should never have left the narrow cultural confines of his own village in his own country, where they probably flip the bird as the common greeting.

For a concise primer on the wai, check out this article.

Edited February 26, 2013 by metisdead

[sms747]

Must admit I am no wiser but thanks for the replies. Not wai-ing anyone is a good start but would upset even more if I started to do that after 8 years. It's nice when somebody does offer their hand, usually a person with a bit of education, or a muslim, none of them in the family though.

[Amusements]

Don't wai anyone, it's not your custom.

PS

I don't kneel in the gutter with my shoes off in front of monks ....... it's not my custom.

My thoughts exactly. I mean how am I supposed to wai back at the nice women in Tesco's with four shopping bags in my hand?

[TommoPhysicist]

Must admit I am no wiser but thanks for the replies. Not wai-ing anyone is a good start but would upset even more if I started to do that after 8 years. It's nice when somebody does offer their hand, usually a person with a bit of education, or a muslim, none of them in the family though.

Not sure I want to shake hands with someone who just wiped their arse with said hand, and probably didn't wash the hand after.

[transam]

Must admit I am no wiser but thanks for the replies. Not wai-ing anyone is a good start but would upset even more if I started to do that after 8 years. It's nice when somebody does offer their hand, usually a person with a bit of education, or a muslim, none of them in the family though.

Not sure I want to shake hands with someone who just wiped their arse with said hand, and probably didn't wash the hand after.

Weeeeeeeeeeell, some of the cooking areas in residencies l have seen, think thats the least of you problems.

Edited February 26, 2013 by transam

[welsh1]

Must admit I am no wiser but thanks for the replies. Not wai-ing anyone is a good start but would upset even more if I started to do that after 8 years. It's nice when somebody does offer their hand, usually a person with a bit of education, or a muslim, none of them in the family though.

Not sure I want to shake hands with someone who just wiped their arse with said hand, and probably didn't wash the hand after.

Weeeeeeeeeeell, some of the cooking areas in residencies l have seen, think thats the least of you problems.

And some of the dirty cloths or rags they use to wipe down tables, then use to wash dishes

[Fookhaht]

It's nice when somebody does offer their hand, usually a person with a bit of education...

And the Thai person is thinking exactly the same thing about you, replacing the words "offer their hand" with "offer their wai." Why don't YOU take the initiative and show yourself the educated person?

Your post reveals how hopelessly ethnocentric you are. You must make a lot of enemies here. The thing is, the Thais will keep silent about it to you, but the gossip about your gauche character will spread like wildfire.

[Fookhaht]

Must admit I am no wiser but thanks for the replies. Not wai-ing anyone is a good start but would upset even more if I started to do that after 8 years. It's nice when somebody does offer their hand, usually a person with a bit of education, or a muslim, none of them in the family though.

Not sure I want to shake hands with someone who just wiped their arse with said hand, and probably didn't wash the hand after.

Weeeeeeeeeeell, some of the cooking areas in residencies l have seen, think thats the least of you problems.

And some of the dirty cloths or rags they use to wipe down tables, then use to wash dishes

And the dogs who pee into the ground-level rinse water for dishes.

[welsh1]

Been here a few years now, I wai the family as they respect me by showing me a wai, also some Thais or family members will me give a good old British hand shake ( usually the men), and a few broken words of English, Hello how are you but i dont go around giving a wai to every Tom Dick and Harry

[sms747]

It's nice when somebody does offer their hand, usually a person with a bit of education...

And the Thai person is thinking exactly the same thing about you, replacing the words "offer their hand" with "offer their wai." Why don't YOU take the initiative and show yourself the educated person?

Your post reveals how hopelessly ethnocentric you are. You must make a lot of enemies here. The thing is, the Thais will keep silent about it to you, but the gossip about your gauche character will spread like wildfire.

whats ethnocentric about asking a simple question, have you got the answer as to should I wai a younger person first if she is older than the wife but younger than me?, yes or no mr expert. If you are claiming that a mis wai can make you a lot of enemies here it says more about Thai than foreigners.

Edited February 26, 2013 by sms747

[Barabbas]

Quote

whats ethnocentric about asking a simple question, have you got the answer as to should I wai a younger person first if she is older than the wife but younger than me?, yes or no mr expert. If you are claiming that a mis wai can make you a lot of enemies here it says more about Thai than foreigners.

Wai the oldest person in the group first (or the oldest couple). If you are older than the older sister of your Missus, there's no obligation to Wai her first, unless she brought the Missus up while the actual Mother was away or neglecting the parental duties. The rest of it is more or less within the age difference rules. It's always a good thing to return the wai (and no, not to the cashiers at Tesco/Big C, where you are a customer and it's in their job description).

If the problem is still there just sod it, some THai people can be dumb and ignorant about their own traditions.

Edited February 26, 2013 by Barabbas

[rgs2001uk]

It's nice when somebody does offer their hand, usually a person with a bit of education...

And the Thai person is thinking exactly the same thing about you, replacing the words "offer their hand" with "offer their wai." Why don't YOU take the initiative and show yourself the educated person?

Your post reveals how hopelessly ethnocentric you are. You must make a lot of enemies here. The thing is, the Thais will keep silent about it to you, but the gossip about your gauche character will spread like wildfire.

whats ethnocentric about asking a simple question, have you got the answer as to should I wai a younger person first if she is older than the wife but younger than me?, yes or no mr expert. If you are claiming that a mis wai can make you a lot of enemies here it says more about Thai than foreigners.

It has nothing to do with your mrs, what would you do if your mrs wasnt with you.

Another aspect not mentioned is status of the people involved.

As a rule you wai up the way not down.

If your wifes sister is of less status she should wai you first.

Sounds like nothing more than a LoSo wanabee HiSo, face rears it ugly head yet again.

Edited February 26, 2013 by rgs2001uk

[transam]

Don't wai anyone, it's not your custom.

PS

I don't kneel in the gutter with my shoes off in front of monks ....... it's not my custom.

Soooooooooooo if you were introduced to a Thai in farangland and YOU offered your hand as a sign of friendship, via our custom, and it was ignored, what would YOUR thoughts be ?

[rattler]

I dont wai anyone Im not Thai so its not relevant.

[rattler]

Don't wai anyone, it's not your custom.

PS

I don't kneel in the gutter with my shoes off in front of monks ....... it's not my custom.

Soooooooooooo if you were introduced to a Thai in farangland and YOU offered your hand as a sign of friendship, via our custom, and it was ignored, what would YOUR thoughts be ?

Bloody foreigners.shoot em all....................well u did ask

[loong]

If you understand the Thai words, Pee and Nong (Thai script removed)

Pee is related to older brothers/sisters/friends whereas nong is the younger. Nong always wai Pee.

Thai for "Brother-in- law" can be Pee Kuhyee or Nong Kuhyee. (Thai script removed)

In this case though, the Pee or Nong refers to the age of the sister and not the actual brother-in-law.

So as you are married to this woman's younger sister, no matter how old you are, to her you are Nong Kuhyee

As Nong wais Pee, then you are expected to wai her, even though she is younger than you.

Hope that makes sense.

Mind you, as soon as you lend her money, everything shifts as your status has moved higher. Then she should be grateful to you and out of respect initiate the wai.

This whole wai-ing thing is difficult to understand totally.

I give my Father-in-law a small amount of money each month since he retired. When I gave him the money, he would wai me, this is because my status had changed as a provider. I had to tell him that it was not necessary and a simple thankyou was enough. Note that if his daughter gives him money, he would never wai her, because this is considered her duty.

Edited February 26, 2013 by metisdead
This is the English language side of the forum, if you wish to post using Thai script, do so on the Thai language forum.

[simple1]

Must admit I am no wiser but thanks for the replies. Not wai-ing anyone is a good start but would upset even more if I started to do that after 8 years. It's nice when somebody does offer their hand, usually a person with a bit of education, or a muslim, none of them in the family though.

Not sure I want to shake hands with someone who just wiped their arse with said hand, and probably didn't wash the hand after.

Thai Muslims follow the same hygiene standards and practices as Thai Buddhists, better not let anyone touch you or your food in Thailand

[TommoPhysicist]

If you understand the Thai words, Pee and Nong (Thai script removed)

Pee is related to older brothers/sisters/friends whereas nong is the younger. Nong always wai Pee.

Thai for "Brother-in- law" can be Pee Kuhyee or Nong Kuhyee. (Thai script removed)

In this case though, the Pee or Nong refers to the age of the sister and not the actual brother-in-law.

So as you are married to this woman's younger sister, no matter how old you are, to her you are Nong Kuhyee

As Nong wais Pee, then you are expected to wai her, even though she is younger than you.

Hope that makes sense.

Mind you, as soon as you lend her money, everything shifts as your status has moved higher. Then she should be grateful to you and out of respect initiate the wai.

This whole wai-ing thing is difficult to understand totally.

I give my Father-in-law a small amount of money each month since he retired. When I gave him the money, he would wai me, this is because my status had changed as a provider. I had to tell him that it was not necessary and a simple thankyou was enough. Note that if his daughter gives him money, he would never wai her, because this is considered her duty.

Aren't you forgetting social status. Educated person trumps farm girl.

Anyway, I don't care, I'm not a serf, I bow to no man.

I'm happy to not visit their hovels ......... and they are welcome not to visit mine.

[Felipesed]

If you understand the Thai words, Pee and Nong (Thai script removed)

Pee is related to older brothers/sisters/friends whereas nong is the younger. Nong always wai Pee.

Thai for "Brother-in- law" can be Pee Kuhyee or Nong Kuhyee. (Thai script removed)

In this case though, the Pee or Nong refers to the age of the sister and not the actual brother-in-law.

So as you are married to this woman's younger sister, no matter how old you are, to her you are Nong Kuhyee

As Nong wais Pee, then you are expected to wai her, even though she is younger than you.

Hope that makes sense.

Mind you, as soon as you lend her money, everything shifts as your status has moved higher. Then she should be grateful to you and out of respect initiate the wai.

This whole wai-ing thing is difficult to understand totally.

I give my Father-in-law a small amount of money each month since he retired. When I gave him the money, he would wai me, this is because my status had changed as a provider. I had to tell him that it was not necessary and a simple thankyou was enough. Note that if his daughter gives him money, he would never wai her, because this is considered her duty.

Aren't you forgetting social status. Educated person trumps farm girl.

Anyway, I don't care, I'm not a serf, I bow to no man.

I'm happy to not visit their hovels ......... and they are welcome not to visit mine.

Are you really as rude and arrogant in person as your postings would imply?

[transam]

If you understand the Thai words, Pee and Nong (Thai script removed)

Pee is related to older brothers/sisters/friends whereas nong is the younger. Nong always wai Pee.

Thai for "Brother-in- law" can be Pee Kuhyee or Nong Kuhyee. (Thai script removed)

In this case though, the Pee or Nong refers to the age of the sister and not the actual brother-in-law.

So as you are married to this woman's younger sister, no matter how old you are, to her you are Nong Kuhyee

As Nong wais Pee, then you are expected to wai her, even though she is younger than you.

Hope that makes sense.

Mind you, as soon as you lend her money, everything shifts as your status has moved higher. Then she should be grateful to you and out of respect initiate the wai.

This whole wai-ing thing is difficult to understand totally.

I give my Father-in-law a small amount of money each month since he retired. When I gave him the money, he would wai me, this is because my status had changed as a provider. I had to tell him that it was not necessary and a simple thankyou was enough. Note that if his daughter gives him money, he would never wai her, because this is considered her duty.

Aren't you forgetting social status. Educated person trumps farm girl.

Anyway, I don't care, I'm not a serf, I bow to no man.

I'm happy to not visit their hovels ......... and they are welcome not to visit mine.

Are you really as rude and arrogant in person as your postings would imply?

Yeh, he is.