Nuna Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 For me, if she is my close friend, I will tell her everything since it's "best friend's duty" to do. If she is not my close friend, I will keep it secret until she raises the question. You bring up a good point. forgetting the fact that she already knows the culture will make sure of that. A person should think about what they would do if it was their good friend being cheated on and you knew they really cared about that happening and would make a change in the relationship so that they would not feel so bad about it like dump the partner and in time find another one. Chances are pretty good that any one doing that much cheating is not exactly endearing them selves to the staff that is watching this going on. What would you do. First of all, it's their business. Second, it depends on how close you are with the woman. Because some thai women don't want suggestion from outsiders when it comes to their private life so another factor to take into account is her personality. Otherwise, she would slam a word like "เสือก" to your face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FunFon Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 (edited) Also keep in mind that many couples (of all nationalities) have relatively open arrangements and don't mind their partner fooling around within the rule set they've mutually negotiated, and there isn't any deception involved. And many of these poly couples/clusters may not choose to share that fact with others, since many in mainstream society aren't tolerant of such alternative arrangements. But just as with lgbt issues, even some areas of the west are getting to be more relaxed about what consenting adults get up to behind closed doors. Bottom line of my point - it isn't any of your business, keep your nose out and your mouth shut and everyone's better off. Edited March 31, 2013 by FunFon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stradavarius37 Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 LMFAO at the OP... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geekfreaklover Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 If gossip were a sport the Thais would be world champions. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FunFon Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 If gossip were a sport the Thais would be world champions. - It can be a very valuable social activity, even life-saving in some contexts. The short introduction is quite funny, but act one is the interesting segment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neeranam Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 It certainly wouldn't be the same if were a Thai-Thai relationship. We are often seen as outsiders. Thai people's attitude does seem to change a litlle if they know you've lived here/been married for years. My wife would often worry that Thais would think of her as being a "rent girl" when we first started going out. Now it's completely different - not sure exactly why - if she's used to it or doesn't care. Maybe after all those years, she realizes that not many would think she is being rented, being 35 and almost twice the weight she was when 22 . However, yes Thais are very loyal to other Thais. On their curriculum, and testing, there are criteria such as Thai-ness. I've even found that unknown Thais show more loyalty to my kids(half-Thai) than me. Thais are not much different to other nationalities. Imagine, for example, that Middle Eastern people started coming to Scotland on holiday mostly for the local lasses. Imagine the resentment from the local guys due to their having more money and stealing many of the most beautiful girls. I think the average Scot would tell the Scottish woman being cheated on. We are actually lucky that the Thais are so tolerant. Actually, I can't think of any country that wouldn't be more loyal to "their own". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neeranam Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Unfaithful man asking for loyalty. It's ridiculous, don't you think? He's not asking for loyalty - he's asking if Thais are more loyal to other Thais. Do you think if it were his g/f cheating on him while he was away, the cleaners or security guards would tell him? Of course not. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FunFon Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Do you think if it were his g/f cheating on him while he was away, the cleaners or security guards would tell him? Of course not.- If you went to the trouble to get them on your side, get to know them and build a relationship as real people over time, do favors and tip them occasionally, and then before you left asked them to keep an eye out for you, then of course they would. But a Thai would never be that stupid to let other Thais observe her transgressions in the first place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khonwan Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 <SNIP> But a Thai would never be that stupid to let other Thais observe her transgressions in the first place. Then I wonder how I know about the many sexual transgressions in my village and surrounding villages (all Thais). 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JDGRUEN Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 I think this type of dynamic could be applicable anywhere in the world. People see things, people talk. It's maybe not always guaranteed they will but once they have seen you will always be wondering when it may come. My advice would be to change apartment and be a bit more savvy about it this time. One of the biggest vulnerabilities anywhere in the world is the young man who will rat out the boyfriend/husband/SO to the woman. All done to gain favor from her that could lead to the woman seeing the informer as her knight in shinning armor ... and it works sometimes... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FunFon Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 (edited) Then I wonder how I know about the many sexual transgressions in my village and surrounding villages (all Thais). - Sorry left out the "if she gives a hoot" part. And yes, there are many idiots all the world over, but in this particular arena, most mia farang seem to be pretty sharp - their partners not so much Edited March 31, 2013 by FunFon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beetlejuice Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 (edited) I would never trust Thai people to keep a secret. Yesterday my wife made a strawberry jelly and while she was out chatting with a neighbor, I stole a couple of quick mouthfuls. My daughter saw me and when the wife came back indoors my daughter grassed me up and informed my wife of my dastardly crime. Nasty, real nasty. Oh yes, nearly forgot, a warning to the OP, sorry, I mean his friend: never <deleted> on you`re own doorstep. Edited March 31, 2013 by Beetlejuice 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mauGR1 Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 I would never trust Thai people to keep a secret. Yesterday my wife made a strawberry jelly and while she was out chatting with a neighbor, I stole a couple of quick mouthfuls. My daughter saw me and when the wife came back indoors my daughter grassed me up and informed my wife of my dastardly crime. Nasty, real nasty. Oh yes, nearly forgot, a warning to the OP, sorry, I mean his friend: never <deleted> on you`re own doorstep. Holy words.. You can't kill a mosquito here, without having the whole neighbourhood commenting about it in less than 5 minutes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berkshire Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 Amazing Thailand? How about the Amazing mentality of some farangs living in Thailand? Let me get this straight. This guy lives in an apartment with his Thai GF, but brings other women to this same apartment when said GF is not around. Nevermind Thailand, would you do this back home? And you think no one will talk? Surely, SURELY, no one can be this stupid. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinfold Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 Amazing Thailand? How about the Amazing mentality of some farangs living in Thailand? Let me get this straight. This guy lives in an apartment with his Thai GF, but brings other women to this same apartment when said GF is not around. Nevermind Thailand, would you do this back home? And you think no one will talk? Surely, SURELY, no one can be this stupid. Back home? no Thailand yes....I try sweeping the bed,mopping it too to to get rid of hair Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arminbkk Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 The OP better start befriending all the people he mentioned, then they might not rat on him. On his friend I mean or for whoever he is asking. Also depends if the gf is on friendly terms with said people. Best solution would be to follow Thai example: do itsomewhere else. Thais told me they are more discreet. They will use short time hotels. But Thais will still gossip: I was in a hotel restaurant once and an older Thai guy came in through a side door with a young lady dressed as a nurse. The staff told me the guy is a doctor who frequently comes with his nurses to do you know what in a short time room. They also told me he is married. My understanding from Thais is that unless they are good friends or relatives of the one being cheated on, they will not quickly tell. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
akspace Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 Amazing Thailand? How about the Amazing mentality of some farangs living in Thailand? Let me get this straight. This guy lives in an apartment with his Thai GF, but brings other women to this same apartment when said GF is not around. Nevermind Thailand, would you do this back home? And you think no one will talk? Surely, SURELY, no one can be this stupid. Back home I would have no trouble doing it (not that I would), don't think I've spoken to any of my neighbors in the last eight years, beyond maybe a "hello" if I'm walking by them on the way out the door. Now Thailand is a different story, no way I would bring another girl back to my place, my girlfriend would know in minutes and as she is fond of saying "chop". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravip Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 (edited) Loyalty "other country" Vs. "my country" Would the answer differ? Edited April 1, 2013 by ravip Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simple1 Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 Do you think if it were his g/f cheating on him while he was away, the cleaners or security guards would tell him? Of course not.-If you went to the trouble to get them on your side, get to know them and build a relationship as real people over time, do favors and tip them occasionally, and then before you left asked them to keep an eye out for you, then of course they would. But a Thai would never be that stupid to let other Thais observe her transgressions in the first place. Not a 100% correct. My wife has informed me that on occasion when a Western male is away, the GF/wife will arrange to be picked up by local motorbike taxi drivers (her family members) to be dropped off at a Thai man's house/apartment. The women know the locals will not say a word to the foreigners. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnniey Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 (edited) Amazing Thailand? How about the Amazing mentality of some farangs living in Thailand? Let me get this straight. This guy lives in an apartment with his Thai GF, but brings other women to this same apartment when said GF is not around. Nevermind Thailand, would you do this back home? And you think no one will talk? Surely, SURELY, no one can be this stupid. The same guys would if they could afford it. Long time since I lived on the UK but I expect taking other women home regularly to be hard unless I was 20-30 years younger. Face the facts, how many farang who take many different women home are not paying for them. In the UK this would probably cost 20,000 + baht per night and that is for a less than prime one to say the least. In the UK , long-term rents are not common at all. In fact , I've never heard of it. But if these guys could afford one and she left for a while of course they would get another if they were as much available as here. Don't get me wrong I used to be young here picking up girls regulary at normal night clubs when I was in my 20s. In my early 30s I was into the bar scene until I got married. In my early 50s, I'm contemplating a bit on the side(but thats another story). Call a spade a spade and realize that when it comes to peeps talking about their girlfriend here they are usually omitting some very important information regarding their relationship. Edited April 1, 2013 by Johnniey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnniey Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 Do you think if it were his g/f cheating on him while he was away, the cleaners or security guards would tell him? Of course not. - If you went to the trouble to get them on your side, get to know them and build a relationship as real people over time, do favors and tip them occasionally, and then before you left asked them to keep an eye out for you, then of course they would. But a Thai would never be that stupid to let other Thais observe her transgressions in the first place. Not a 100% correct. My wife has informed me that on occasion when a Western male is away, the GF/wife will arrange to be picked up by local motorbike taxi drivers (her family members) to be dropped off at a Thai man's house/apartment. The women know the locals will not say a word to the foreigners. If a foreigner is stupid enough to marry a woman whose relatives are motorcycle taxi drivers, then maybe they deserve the consequences. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neeranam Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 Do you think if it were his g/f cheating on him while he was away, the cleaners or security guards would tell him? Of course not.- If you went to the trouble to get them on your side, get to know them and build a relationship as real people over time, do favors and tip them occasionally, and then before you left asked them to keep an eye out for you, then of course they would. But a Thai would never be that stupid to let other Thais observe her transgressions in the first place. Sure if you go to a lot of trouble, anyone can be paid off. All thing being equal though Thai are a LOT more loyal to Thai than Westerners. Remember that when many Thai women talk to other Thais, they use the pronoun, "mun' when referring to him. This says it all IMHO. Here's an experiment - walk into 100 different restaurants around Thailand with a Thai woman. Count the number of times that you are given the menu. I could count on one hand and I'm not exactly the 65 year old pensioner, waiing the young waitresses as I walk in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neeranam Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 Loyalty "other country" Vs. "my country" Would the answer differ? No it wouldn't. Even countries neighbouring my country(Scotland). For example a Scottish girl with an English boyfriend. The boyfriend would get a hard time wherever he went and there would be no question as to where your loyalty lies. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Neeranam Posted April 1, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted April 1, 2013 Do you think if it were his g/f cheating on him while he was away, the cleaners or security guards would tell him? Of course not. - If you went to the trouble to get them on your side, get to know them and build a relationship as real people over time, do favors and tip them occasionally, and then before you left asked them to keep an eye out for you, then of course they would. But a Thai would never be that stupid to let other Thais observe her transgressions in the first place. Not a 100% correct. My wife has informed me that on occasion when a Western male is away, the GF/wife will arrange to be picked up by local motorbike taxi drivers (her family members) to be dropped off at a Thai man's house/apartment. The women know the locals will not say a word to the foreigners. If a foreigner is stupid enough to marry a woman whose relatives are motorcycle taxi drivers, then maybe they deserve the consequences.I married the girl I loved. I couldn't care less about what her family did. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
animatic Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 (edited) I find it amazing the guy doesn't assume his little playmates won't steal his SO's jewelry and other things before they exit their ST visit. Bringing them home as high risk on so many levels. Trust; well first the protagonist is naively trusting to even ask this question, and not trustworthy. Thais will stick to fellow Thais over any and all farangs. And will assume, unless well paid regularly into silence, that they can't trust you as a cheater. So there is less reason not to tell on you, since you will have no loyalty to them if there is an issue in the future. Secondly ladies will stick with ladies before us.... But, some wanting to move up into your price-bracket, will tell on you to make your SO sod off. Then they move in for the kill and cynically milk you for all they can as long as they can. They make money and status by using you for a spell. You of course gave them the hook, to hook you with. Edited April 1, 2013 by animatic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scottythai Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 Easy solution. If you wanna screw new ladys every night why have a GF to begin with? Being single is great, party and pick up girls. It's cheaper and safer to have a maid than a GF who finds hails on the sofa that are 2 inches longer than yours. Or cleans the shower first thing after she has been gone to look for Stray hairs. Single > Attached Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teacherofwoe Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 Human nature the world over. If the male staff at the accommodation haven't yet told her, it means they don't fancy her. Add that to the fact that she is being cheated on... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrtoad Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 Don't crap on your own doorstep. Are you okay? Never truer words spoken Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post simple1 Posted April 1, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted April 1, 2013 (edited) Do you think if it were his g/f cheating on him while he was away, the cleaners or security guards would tell him? Of course not. - If you went to the trouble to get them on your side, get to know them and build a relationship as real people over time, do favors and tip them occasionally, and then before you left asked them to keep an eye out for you, then of course they would. But a Thai would never be that stupid to let other Thais observe her transgressions in the first place. Not a 100% correct. My wife has informed me that on occasion when a Western male is away, the GF/wife will arrange to be picked up by local motorbike taxi drivers (her family members) to be dropped off at a Thai man's house/apartment. The women know the locals will not say a word to the foreigners. If a foreigner is stupid enough to marry a woman whose relatives are motorcycle taxi drivers, then maybe they deserve the consequences. What's wrong with motorbike taxi drivers? My Thai wife of 17 years has members of her family who do that job & not once have I had any problems with them. In the context of this topic she is loyal & I trust her implicitly. Her motorbike taxi family members have helped me out many times & are good people. You are the stupid one posting ill informed insults upon probably tens of thousands in Thailand providing motorbike taxi services Edited April 1, 2013 by simple1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trembly Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 Does anyone besides me find the term "jungle drums" more than a bit disturbing? I prefer 'bamboo telegraph'. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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