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Posted (edited)

How long have you been together, OP?

I'd ignore what you read on the internet and averages. Your circumstance is your own.

Give a little more information before the generic write-off.

Edited by wooloomooloo
Posted

Sin Sod is to be negotiated on, instead you apparently felt the need to insult her mother with an offer of 20 baht. No wonder your relation broke up.

You could have explained that in your culture sin sod is not done and you are not comfortable with it and start from there.

Completely agree.

If you did indeed offer Baht 20 as Sin Sot then it was a deliberate insult and no-one would tolerate that.

Sin Sot is an age-old Thai custom - you may not agree with it but the solution is to explain your cultural objections to the practice - politely and with respect to all parties involved.

Patrick

  • Like 2
Posted

Need to know more information.

Roi Et is a very poor area. If the mother is a rice-farmer, then the 1 million baht + 10 baht of gold is an insult.

What does your gf work as? What's her education? This is important.

I've even heard of guys being asked for 500,000 baht when the girl in question is divorced, 35 years old with kids! This is a blatant insult and the reply offer of 20 baht is not less insulting.

A good point, insulting offers do work both ways. Not sure if i would have come back with a 20 baht offer however

The OP could fill in a few more details for us all.

Posted

Agree with everything said but there are still greedy unrealistic Gold-digging parents out there in deepest Isaan ( or should we rename it insane?)

Hope you're not referring to me smile.png

I'll be asking for A LOT more than 1 million for my daughters, because of their stunning beauty and good education at private schools.

As you said in a post before, 1 million can be an insulting number thumbsup.giflaugh.png

Posted

How long have you been together, OP?

I'd ignore what you read on the internet and averages. Your circumstance is your own.

Give a little more information before the generic write-off.

We have been learning together since beginning of december, she lives in koh lanta, I live in Phuket.

Posted (edited)

Sin Sod is to be negotiated on, instead you apparently felt the need to insult her mother with an offer of 20 baht. No wonder your relation broke up.

You could have explained that in your culture sin sod is not done and you are not comfortable with it and start from there.

Need to know more information.

Roi Et is a very poor area. If the mother is a rice-farmer, then the 1 million baht + 10 baht of gold is an insult.

What does your gf work as? What's her education? This is important.

I've even heard of guys being asked for 500,000 baht when the girl in question is divorced, 35 years old with kids! This is a blatant insult and the reply offer of 20 baht is not less insulting.

she runs a small resort of 4 bungalows in koh lanta, her education she left school early to take care of her sisters children, however she is now studying law, she is 34 with no children, I am 41 with 2 children. Her ex-boyfriend is 76 he funded the resort. Mother is a rice farmer.

Edited by ArranP
Posted (edited)

Need to know more information.

Roi Et is a very poor area. If the mother is a rice-farmer, then the 1 million baht + 10 baht of gold is an insult.

What does your gf work as? What's her education? This is important.

I've even heard of guys being asked for 500,000 baht when the girl in question is divorced, 35 years old with kids! This is a blatant insult and the reply offer of 20 baht is not less insulting.

A good point, insulting offers do work both ways. Not sure if i would have come back with a 20 baht offer however

The OP could fill in a few more details for us all.

the offer of 20 baht was made in a private conversation between me and my girl friend in the car away from the family.

Edited by ArranP
  • Like 1
Posted (edited)

Need to know more information.

Roi Et is a very poor area. If the mother is a rice-farmer, then the 1 million baht + 10 baht of gold is an insult.

What does your gf work as? What's her education? This is important.

I've even heard of guys being asked for 500,000 baht when the girl in question is divorced, 35 years old with kids! This is a blatant insult and the reply offer of 20 baht is not less insulting.

A good point, insulting offers do work both ways. Not sure if i would have come back with a 20 baht offer however

The OP could fill in a few more details for us all.

the offer of 20 baht was made in a private conversation between me and my girl friend in the car.

Sin Sod is to be negotiated on, instead you apparently felt the need to insult her mother with an offer of 20 baht. No wonder your relation broke up.

You could have explained that in your culture sin sod is not done and you are not comfortable with it and start from there.

Initially I accepted.

I have no issue with SinSod, it is alot of people do it, it was later when I discovered the normal fee is 200,000 to 300,000 I was shocked and then declined, I could explain SinSod to my own mother but I had no answer when it came to why I was paying so much more than other people.

After I declined, I would sawadee khap mother but she would ignore me and in front of the whole family.

Edited by ArranP
  • Like 1
Posted

how much is the 4 bungalows worth? May be you will just be buying into her business. Marrying an ex farang wife? dont know about others but I ll pass.

  • Like 1
Posted

Sinsod....i wonder how much the 76 year old payed?

sow baht was realistic but obviously not enough to extend the family business/resort....funny though!

Posted (edited)

Be honest........ if you only think she is worth 20 baht........there was no relationship.....my wife was always worth a million and her value to me increases all the while......however....I like a bargain smile.png

Edited by 473geo
  • Like 2
Posted

It's very hard to gauge with little information. Together barely four months and no idea as to the depth of the relationship.

You may have felt insulted with the sin sot opener but you made the family lose face with your riposte. You could have been gracious and slept on it.

That said, ArranP, only you know if she's the one for you.

Posted

To the OP: I don't have an opinion about paying sin sod or not, it is a cultural difference that you have to deal with together as you have to respect their culture but they should also respect your own culture.

But offering 20 baht was a bit tactless, even if it was only to the GF.

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)

To the OP: I don't have an opinion about paying sin sod or not, it is a cultural difference that you have to deal with together as you have to respect their culture but they should also respect your own culture.

But offering 20 baht was a bit tactless, even if it was only to the GF.

yes I agree, in general I became un-sure of things.

Edited by ArranP
Posted

she runs a small resort of 4 bungalows in koh lanta....... Her ex-boyfriend is 76 he funded the resort......

It would be interesting to know how much the last guy got fleeced for? Obviously we all can't buy them a resort!

he paid 800,000 baht for sinsod.

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