Living With A Bar Girl In Pattaya

[nontabury]

think you have a problem because whenever the word "prostitute" is used you get upset and start defending them.

The word prostitute is merely a job description. It doesn't indicate my personal opinion of them. It is not a derogatory word. I'm not calling them "whores".

I'm sorry to hear that so many bargirls refuse to go with you, but it is their choice.

It's not the word 'prostitute' that upsets me. What upsets me is that you seem to believe that every female who works in Pattaya is a prostitute.

Yes, the word prostitute' is merely a job description, and yes, it applies to women who sleep with customers for payment...BUT...not every female who works in a bar sleeps with customers.

If you have trouble believing that, take yourself along to a few bars, speak with the bar owners/managers/mamsans and ask them how many girls in the employ do not go with customers.

Your trying to tell us that not all bar girls or Gogo girls in pattaya are not prostitute,unbelievable,it may be so for the first couple of nights with a few of the girls,but then they soon change.

No, I'm trying to tell you that not all girls or gogo girls in Pattaya are prostitutes.

Why don't you and Tropo get together one night and do as I have suggested above. Both of you might then start realizing how wrong you are with your poor regard of bar working women.

If it makes you both happier, let me state that all of Pattaya's freelancers are prostitutes, however, not all of Pattaya's women who walk Pattaya streets are freelancers.

I hope you both can work out the difference....but I doubt that you can.

Your now trying to twist things around,I never said or suggested that All Pattaya girls are prostitutes,what I did say is that

the girls who work in the beer bars or GoGo are prostitutes,if not on day one,then shortly afterwards.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

I love this jousting over semantics. Please continue.

[lemoncake]

so what is the right word for a woman who sells her body for money?

Or you trying to say some bar girls refused to go with you, so they are just bar workers?

Ever thought, that they did not like you and hence why they refused? or they had periods? or thought you to be a cheap charlie? or 100 other reasons:rolleyes:

Have you ever been to Pattaya? If you have you must have walked around with your eyes and ears shut.

I'll write it again..just for you.

Not all Pattaya working girls, or bar girls or gogo girls are prostitutes. Some work bar duties just for the wages on offer by the bar owner. They don't go with customers.

Next, you'll be claiming that all hotel room maids are prostitutes too.

It's bigots like you who give the decent, female population of Pattaya a bad name.

Lol, classic.

I only live in Pattaya for over 10 years and only own a hotel, so I am still a novice to the whole prostitution and bar scene

Soi 6 usually has the most decent females working in the bar- lol

Edited April 17, 2013 by lemoncake

[raro]

I love this jousting over semantics. Please continue.

from a moderator's point of view, this is rather discouraged. The raro in me, however, just opened another bag of popcorns enjoying the mudfight

[Rimmer]

Please stop the pointless bickering,

[raro]

off topic post removed.

the title of this thread is "living with a bar girl in Pattaya". Thanks.

[Thailaw]

off topic post removed.

the title of this thread is "living with a bar girl in Pattaya". Thanks.

If ever there was a thread that "challenged" the moderators' duties on this forum, this one ranks near the top. Twelve pages and 276 posts and it is still going. I am kind of surprised that it wasn't closed long ago. The moderators have done a superb job on this one and deserve a "10" (I won't say out of what ).

[raro]

off topic post removed.

the title of this thread is "living with a bar girl in Pattaya". Thanks.

If ever there was a thread that "challenged" the moderators' duties on this forum, this one ranks near the top. Twelve pages and 276 posts and it is still going. I am kind of surprised that it wasn't closed long ago. The moderators have done a superb job on this one and deserve a "10" (I won't say out of what ).

thanks. Next time you see me in a pub, just buy me the 10 beers

[Totster]

Great thread,

Without judging I just want to make some observations,

1. OP states people in Pattaya don't call bar girls prostitutes - I get it, there has long been a misconception that bar girls should not be comparable to the drug addled messed up prostitutes in the west. And while the experience here I would imagine is somewhat nicer, you know.. being taken care of in the bars, the cost is lower and a guy getting to pretend he has a gorgeous girlfriend for a week, the fact still remains that they sell themselves for money - the guys who regularly frequent places like Pattaya need to project that there is a difference to make themselves feel better, it's not about the girls as they know exactly what they are.

2. OP - your relationship is unusual ! I saw a post before where you were berating Tropo (I think) and telling him not to come to Pattaya with his attitude. Now, I can't answer for him, but I have had my share of enjoyment in the likes of Pattaya. For most it's a one or two night business arrangement and that's that. Moving in with a girl while she is still working the bar and enjoying a short time or two is a step further and while I commend your ability to have a relationship like this it's not everyones cup of tea. I think there is a line between peoples attitude with your current arrangements and their attitude with bar girls in general, and I think you are confusing the two. Telling people not to come to Pattaya because they don't approve (not that you need approval)of you relationship or they have issues with it is quite simply.. well ridiculous, because your situation does not mirror that of everyday farang life in Pattaya.

There was something else, but I have forgotten.. I'll have to read back

totster

Edited April 17, 2013 by Totster

[tropo]

think you have a problem because whenever the word "prostitute" is used you get upset and start defending them.

The word prostitute is merely a job description. It doesn't indicate my personal opinion of them. It is not a derogatory word. I'm not calling them "whores".

I'm sorry to hear that so many bargirls refuse to go with you, but it is their choice.

It's not the word 'prostitute' that upsets me. What upsets me is that you seem to believe that every female who works in Pattaya is a prostitute.

Yes, the word prostitute' is merely a job description, and yes, it applies to women who sleep with customers for payment...BUT...not every female who works in a bar sleeps with customers.

If you have trouble believing that, take yourself along to a few bars, speak with the bar owners/managers/mamsans and ask them how many girls in the employ do not go with customers.

>>Your trying to tell us that not all bar girls or Gogo girls in pattaya are not prostitute,unbelievable,it may be so for the first couple of nights with a few of the girls,but then they soon change.

No, I'm trying to tell you that not all girls or gogo girls in Pattaya are prostitutes.

Why don't you and Tropo get together one night and do as I have suggested above. Both of you might then start realizing how wrong you are with your poor regard of bar working women.

If it makes you both happier, let me state that all of Pattaya's freelancers are prostitutes, however, not all of Pattaya's women who walk Pattaya streets are freelancers.

I hope you both can work out the difference....but I doubt that you can.

You are contradicting yourself, or perhaps you're just very confused.

You say of me (and others): "how wrong you are with your poor regard of bar working women."

Obviously you have low regard for prostitutes and get upset if the minority of bargirls who don't do it for money are lumped in with the ones who do.

You consider the ones who do as low life and the ones who don't as decent. There's no other explanation for your silly tirade.

You're the only one judging here mate. We're just using "prostitute" as a job description.

Edited April 17, 2013 by tropo

[cardholder]

think you have a problem because whenever the word "prostitute" is used you get upset and start defending them.

The word prostitute is merely a job description. It doesn't indicate my personal opinion of them. It is not a derogatory word. I'm not calling them "whores".

I'm sorry to hear that so many bargirls refuse to go with you, but it is their choice.

It's not the word 'prostitute' that upsets me. What upsets me is that you seem to believe that every female who works in Pattaya is a prostitute.

Yes, the word prostitute' is merely a job description, and yes, it applies to women who sleep with customers for payment...BUT...not every female who works in a bar sleeps with customers.

If you have trouble believing that, take yourself along to a few bars, speak with the bar owners/managers/mamsans and ask them how many girls in the employ do not go with customers.

>Your trying to tell us that not all bar girls or Gogo girls in pattaya are not prostitute,unbelievable,it may be so for the first couple of nights with a few of the girls,but then they soon c

hange.

No, I'm trying to tell you that not all girls or gogo girls in Pattaya are prostitutes.

Why don't you and Tropo get together one night and do as I have suggested above. Both of you might then start realizing how wrong you are with your poor regard of bar working women.

If it makes you both happier, let me state that all of Pattaya's freelancers are prostitutes, however, not all of Pattaya's women who walk Pattaya streets are freelancers.

I hope you both can work out the difference....but I doubt that you can.

You are contradicting yourself, or perhaps you're just very confused.

You say of me (and others): "how wrong you are with your poor regard of bar working women."

Obviously you have low regard for prostitutes and get upset if the minority of girls who don't do it for money are lumped in with the ones who do.

You consider the ones who do as low life and the ones who don't as decent. There's no other explanation for your silly tirade.

You're the only one judging here mate. We're just using "prostitute" as a job description.

I think it is more of a 'calling' than a career.

[tropo]

You're the only one judging here mate. We're just using "prostitute" as a job description.

I think it is more of a 'calling' than a career.

A job is not a career. If it's a job, they can change it whenever they choose.

[William Osborne]

So back the OPs original post .....

"I'm not seeking approval...but there must be others like me out there in the same position"

I honestly think there is not that many ... especially not any 50 yo school teachers ...if its a free sh*g your after, then fair enough, that's between yourself and your GF but if you really think this relationship has any future ??..... then, i'm afraid you're going through some kind of a mid-life melt-down !.. good luck !

Edited April 17, 2013 by William Osborne

[Thailaw]

off topic post removed.

the title of this thread is "living with a bar girl in Pattaya". Thanks.

If ever there was a thread that "challenged" the moderators' duties on this forum, this one ranks near the top. Twelve pages and 276 posts and it is still going. I am kind of surprised that it wasn't closed long ago. The moderators have done a superb job on this one and deserve a "10" (I won't say out of what ).

thanks. Next time you see me in a pub, just buy me the 10 beers

The next time I see you in a pub, I'll act like I don't know you. I expect that you will do the same.....

[Thailaw]

You're the only one judging here mate. We're just using "prostitute" as a job description.

I think it is more of a 'calling' than a career.

A job is not a career. If it's a job, they can change it whenever they choose.

You're absolutely right -- its a "job" and that job "blows".....

[Jayroo]

So back the OPs original post .....

"I'm not seeking approval...but there must be others like me out there in the same position"

I honestly think there is not that many ... especially not any 50 yo school teachers ...if its a free sh*g your after, then fair enough, that's between yourself and your GF but if you really think this relationship has any future ??..... then, i'm afraid you're going through some kind of a mid-life melt-down !.. good luck !

Wow, you really think the vast majority of relationships are based on love? you really are naive.

[William Osborne]

Wow, you really think the vast majority of relationships are based on love? you really are naive.

... go back to your bottle of super-market cider mate

[detinu68]

I think this will be my last post, although I will follow the thread because it is "interesting".

There seems to be a disconnect here and I cannot reconcile it, as much as I would like to believe the OP and what he says, however his actions are not backed up by his words.

He states (four quotes), "I love her, absolutely no question about it". "I love her, take care of her, she looks after me too when I'm skint". “So now I'm on my 4th serious relationship”. “If she's prepared to wait 15 years she can live with me off my pension money, no worries”.

So he loves her, takes care of her and it is a serious relationship, and he would be quite happy if she was with him for another 15 years. However surely that is at odds with what is actually happening in as much as: –

1). If he truly loved and cared for her would he allow her to put her health (and his) on the line on a daily basis by being exposed to some pretty awful diseases?

2). If he loved and cared for her would be allow her body to be used and perhaps abused by hundreds, if not thousands, of men from all nationalities and walks of life?

3). If he loved and cared for her would be not try and make her lot in life better?

4). If he loved and cared for her and knew that she was doing that job just for the money, would he not try and put himself in the position to earn enough money so that she didn't have to have her body defiled on a regular basis by strangers in doing her job?

You see that's the part that doesn't compute, however perhaps some of his other quotes put the above into perspective when he says, "We share the money we earn". "I accept it and enjoy the money that goes with her work". "At my age I prefer a quickie. Wam bam,thank you Ma'am". "And I do occasionally enjoy the company of other ladies too".

Perhaps he doesn't understand the meaning of the words "love and care, and serious relationship", or perhaps he is fooling himself (and us) because really he is satisfied with the situation for the money, the quick bangs and the fact that he doesn't want to have to work too hard in order to get by in this country.

Someone talked about lowering the bar, but I think with the OP, the bar is already on the ground, but however low his moral standards, he wouldn't be the first, nor the last to do it and anyway as he quite rightly says, it's his business, so why he ever posted in the first place remains a mystery to me.

The bars of your cage are rattling in everyone's ears. Good post.

You*re obviously a person of high moral standards.

[Bronzepickup]

Perhaps things have changed since my day but back then the girls I knew were quit selective. It was girls at the lower end of the spectrum who were left with little choice.

Facing ones own insecurities and prejudices falls under the category of learning stuff, I mentioned earlier. Not everyone is into introspection and self-knowledge, however.

Take care with the words "lower end of the spectrum" please VF. You live in a Thai village remember.

[Bronzepickup]

Wow, you really think the vast majority of relationships are based on love? you really are naive.

... go back to your bottle of super-market cider mate

Jayroo makes an observation which is pretty close to SE Asia, William.

Some farangs struggle with the concept.

Some farangs say "I told you so"

[detinu68]

Great thread,

Without judging I just want to make some observations,

1. OP states people in Pattaya don't call bar girls prostitutes - I get it, there has long been a misconception that bar girls should not be comparable to the drug addled messed up prostitutes in the west. And while the experience here I would imagine is somewhat nicer, you know.. being taken care of in the bars, the cost is lower and a guy getting to pretend he has a gorgeous girlfriend for a week, the fact still remains that they sell themselves for money - the guys who regularly frequent places like Pattaya need to project that there is a difference to make themselves feel better, it's not about the girls as they know exactly what they are.

2. OP - your relationship is unusual ! I saw a post before where you were berating Tropo (I think) and telling him not to come to Pattaya with his attitude. Now, I can't answer for him, but I have had my share of enjoyment in the likes of Pattaya. For most it's a one or two night business arrangement and that's that. Moving in with a girl while she is still working the bar and enjoying a short time or two is a step further and while I commend your ability to have a relationship like this it's not everyones cup of tea. I think there is a line between peoples attitude with your current arrangements and their attitude with bar girls in general, and I think you are confusing the two. Telling people not to come to Pattaya because they don't approve (not that you need approval)of you relationship or they have issues with it is quite simply.. well ridiculous, because your situation does not mirror that of everyday farang life in Pattaya.

There was something else, but I have forgotten.. I'll have to read back

totster

Good post. I understand. Different strokes...

[detinu68]

Over 7,200 views on this thread so far.

Good for thaivia.com's ratings and advertising revenue I hope.

And 24 hour coverage from the posters pretending to be in Pattaya, owning hotels etc but who in reality live elsewhere....so this thread really has gone global!

Cheers and goodnight from Soi Khao Talo, Pattaya

Edited April 17, 2013 by detinu68

[FDog]

As said before, because sometimes others are biggoted and closed minded. So why tell them if if may cause a hassle for them.

as said before, OP does not have a problem with it so it really should not be a problem what his family or friends think.

OP could also say she did not work, or worked in the car, but chose something else.

i wonder why?!

Why oh why do you keep rehashing it and still the responss doesn't get through to you. The OP has no issue but his family may do.

That is their closed minded view.

I have been with bar girls. I have no issue with that. But even mentioning to women in oz that you have a Thai gf, even if not a bg, gets a smirk and bad comments from women in oz. So I don't even say I go to Thailand. Just keeps the peace as I am not interested in their bigotry.

I certainly don't tell my mother I have been with bg's even though I'm not ashamed of it.

Do you tell your mother how many times a week you wank? I'm sure you think it normal but just no need to say.

[detinu68]

As said before, because sometimes others are biggoted and closed minded. So why tell them if if may cause a hassle for them.

as said before, OP does not have a problem with it so it really should not be a problem what his family or friends think.

OP could also say she did not work, or worked in the car, but chose something else.

i wonder why?!

Why oh why do you keep rehashing it and still the responss doesn't get through to you. The OP has no issue but his family may do.

That is their closed minded view.

I have been with bar girls. I have no issue with that. But even mentioning to women in oz that you have a Thai gf, even if not a bg, gets a smirk and bad comments from women in oz. So I don't even say I go to Thailand. Just keeps the peace as I am not interested in their bigotry.

I certainly don't tell my mother I have been with bg's even though I'm not ashamed of it.

Do you tell your mother how many times a week you wank? I'm sure you think it normal but just no need to say.

Great comment

[raro]

Plenty of bickering deleted. Last warning, tomorrow morning I'll shoot down the posters with their posts

Sent from my GT-N7000 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[rhodie]

If it makes you happy, good on you.

Your life. Up to you!

Enjoy.

[Mighty Mouse]

think you have a problem because whenever the word "prostitute" is used you get upset and start defending them.

The word prostitute is merely a job description. It doesn't indicate my personal opinion of them. It is not a derogatory word. I'm not calling them "whores".

I'm sorry to hear that so many bargirls refuse to go with you, but it is their choice.

It's not the word 'prostitute' that upsets me. What upsets me is that you seem to believe that every female who works in Pattaya is a prostitute.

Yes, the word prostitute' is merely a job description, and yes, it applies to women who sleep with customers for payment...BUT...not every female who works in a bar sleeps with customers.

If you have trouble believing that, take yourself along to a few bars, speak with the bar owners/managers/mamsans and ask them how many girls in the employ do not go with customers.

>>Your trying to tell us that not all bar girls or Gogo girls in pattaya are not prostitute,unbelievable,it may be so for the first couple of nights with a few of the girls,but then they soon c

hange.

No, I'm trying to tell you that not all girls or gogo girls in Pattaya are prostitutes.

Why don't you and Tropo get together one night and do as I have suggested above. Both of you might then start realizing how wrong you are with your poor regard of bar working women.

If it makes you both happier, let me state that all of Pattaya's freelancers are prostitutes, however, not all of Pattaya's women who walk Pattaya streets are freelancers.

I hope you both can work out the difference....but I doubt that you can.

You are contradicting yourself, or perhaps you're just very confused.

You say of me (and others): "how wrong you are with your poor regard of bar working women."

Obviously you have low regard for prostitutes and get upset if the minority of bargirls who don't do it for money are lumped in with the ones who do.

You consider the ones who do as low life and the ones who don't as decent. There's no other explanation for your silly tirade.

You're the only one judging here mate. We're just using "prostitute" as a job description.

You are a real worry aunt.

Now, you're trying to analyze me and to read my mind. You have gone so far as to wrongly quote my words and to wrongly tell me what I'm thinking.

You have tried to analyze the OP...and failed. You are trying to analyze me...and failing miserably.

Are you a frustrated wannabe shrink?

You sidestepped all the questions I posed for you in a previous post, and why? Are you frightened that others might be critical of your lifestyle, the same as you're critical of the OP chosen life style?

You have had your fair share of Thailand prostitutes. You waited in line for your turn to be with them and now you are the type of person who would go to their next customer (immediately after you) and tell them what fools they are to have slept with a prostitute.

You incorrectly think that anybody and everybody who works in a bar is a prostitute and you have made your views very clear on what you think about these girls. Yet, you willingly live among them.

You can't accept that some people like the OP would want to live with such a girl. As stated in an earlier post, there is an estimated 40 million prostitutes world wide. You are advocating that each and every one of these girls should live alone. They are not worthy of having a live-in boyfriend because of the trade they have entered.

You can't accept the OP's words when he states that he is very happy with his girl and his lifestyle. You take joy in openly criticizing him but you won't divulge any information about your lifestyle, your partner (if you have one), your failures in life, and all because you might cop some flak from him, the same type flak that you're dishing out to him.

How the OP chooses to live his life has absolutely nothing to do with you.

Bigotry is the state of mind of a bigot: someone who, as a result of their prejudices, treats other people with hatred, contempt, and intolerance on the basis of a person's race, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, national origin, religion, language, socioeconomic status, or other status.

Source:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bigotry

My view on life: Live and let live.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

I have been with bar girls. I have no issue with that. But even mentioning to women in oz that you have a Thai gf, even if not a bg, gets a smirk and bad comments from women in oz. So I don't even say I go to Thailand. Just keeps the peace as I am not interested in their bigotry.

Admittedly I've never been to Australia, but I don't get this response at all in Western countries I did visit, or with all the Western women (and men) I meet in Thailand. They mostly seem to think it's obvious to have a local partner when you live somewhere for such a long time. Or maybe they ccan tell I'm not a sex tourist / sexpat by my general demeanor.

[Totster]

I have been with bar girls. I have no issue with that. But even mentioning to women in oz that you have a Thai gf, even if not a bg, gets a smirk and bad comments from women in oz. So I don't even say I go to Thailand. Just keeps the peace as I am not interested in their bigotry.

Admittedly I've never been to Australia, but I don't get this response at all in Western countries I did visit, or with all the Western women (and men) I meet in Thailand. They mostly seem to think it's obvious to have a local partner when you live somewhere for such a long time. Or maybe they ccan tell I'm not a sex tourist / sexpat by my general demeanor.

Actually, the normal response that I get in the UK is along the lines of...

"Ooooooo.. ladyboys... way hey... "

Quite boring...

totster

[Mooner]

I have a live in thai girlfriend who was an EX bar girl. I could never have a relationship with one who still worked. You must be a special person if you don't mind what she does every day. If she was serious about you surely she could get a "normal" job even if it meant less money.

Agreed! The only problem with this scenario is that she would probably drop down to 10,000 Baht a month and thats probably what she sends back home. This is the problem bar girls have. They start earning decent money and are taking care of the family back home and enjoying a comfortable income being able to buy many things they could of only dreamt of when they were young.

The family grow to expect the money and the girls become accustomed to a certain lifestyle level. Vicious circle!