Why Do Many Farrangs Show Disrespect To Their Neighbors

[johnmcc6]

I recently went to a local sonkran celebration about 20 minutes out of town. On the way there we passed many large farrang mini mansions with with all the trimmings.

On arriving with another couple ( Thai wives for both of us) at the village leaders home we were met by a large parade of locals with drums banging,kids running around and smiles all round followed by a big feast of local food, dancing and singing. What surprised me was there was not a single farrang from the community present.

During speech time the leader made special mention of our presence ( we both have land in the area) welcoming us into the community.It was a delightful day and we made many new friends.

I have to ask...how is it that some people choose villages like this one to call home, build huge properties with equally huge fences and then shut themselves out of the community they call home? When asked for small donations they say no thank you we are not Buddhist. How can it hurt to give such a pittance to the poor around them to build a better school or improve the temple ? Some would pay more for the eletricity to operate their electric gates. It seems the only contact some farrangs have with their neighbors is to hire them to clean the house or cut the grass.While hearing these comments from the locals they do not complain about the farrangs in their midst but they do not respect them either. By not joining with them even just once a year many farrangs are missing out on the wonderful culture of the place they call home. I'm sure many farrangs support the community but it appears many don't. Would love to hear your comments.

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[USNret]

Perhaps it's a language barrier? They might not have been aware of the celebration in advance, or felt like they wouldn't understand anything if they came. I have no idea; it's just one theory. It is unfortunate. You can be anonymous in Bangkok, but not so much in a small town.

[canuckamuck]

I don't like their parties.

[BuddhaMind]

Your question assumes that you are right and they are wrong. It's not a fair way to approach this.

[elektrified]

My experience at Songkran the last 6 years here is different. I always see the farangs joining in on New Year celebrations in the villages. Maybe they didn't in yours but that does not represent the overall community.

As far as the "mini mansions" are concerned, that Thais have far more of them than the farangs. I would say your view is not accurate.

[Ulysses G.]

They are all hiding in their own house during Songkran. They don't want to get wet.

[villagefarang]

I let my wife take care of the village responsibilities, except for those rare occasions where my presence is actually required.

Recently it has been very busy here with all the various Songkran activities and today she has just left for a cremation, as we have had a funeral going on at the same time as Songkran. Songkran is far from over and there is more to do but some people have already returned to work in the big city.

My excuse for staying home is that I have been ill because of the smoke and someone needs to stay home to take care of the house and the dogs. An unattended house is a target when an entire village is off at the crematorium or elsewhere.

Since I don’t drink I have noticed that people are not at ease around me, not knowing what to do with me other that try to force me to drink. Many older individuals in the village are not conversant in Thai and only speak their Northern dialect so conversation is not easy, that is assuming you could actually hear someone over the din that permeates all village gatherings.

I figure I am doing everyone a favor by not attending. They are free to carry on as they wish and I am free to be as relaxed, quite and comfortable as I wish. Besides it gives them something to ask my wife about. Where is VF?

[WinnieTheKhwai]

I don't like their parties.

And especially not Songkran.. Just read through some of the comments posted here by the grinches.. clearly they want to be holed up. Anyway as you noticed, that makes the appreciation for people who DO want to be a part of the country they live in much greater.

(As an aside though, I do hope you're not assuming just by looking at a big house that it's a foreigner living there? Because more often than not, it's not.)

[Thaddeus]

You can easily counter this by saying "Why do some people insist that everyone joins in with their definition of fun?"

[canuckamuck]

I don't like their parties.

And especially not Songkran.. Just read through some of the comments posted here by the grinches.. clearly they want to be holed up. Anyway as you noticed, that makes the appreciation for people who DO want to be a part of the country they live in much greater.

(As an aside though, I do hope you're not assuming just by looking at a big house that it's a foreigner living there? Because more often than not, it's not.)

Not a grinch, I have quite a few interactions with my community. However I really dislike Thai parties in general. Bad loud music, boorish jokes, uncomfortable seating, and it goes on way too long. And like VF I rarely drink, but they must always push me to do so. The opposite of fun for me.

[Slappz]

Maybe they needed a formal invitation. Lot's of miscommunicaiton with English >> Thai.

[hellodolly]

Only attended one Songkran in a village. I was the only Farong there and I did not speak Thai. Still I was excepted as a part of the celebration. Even got to March in their parade.

I stuck out like a sore thumb but was completely accepted.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Not a grinch, I have quite a few interactions with my community. However I really dislike Thai parties in general. Bad loud music, boorish jokes, uncomfortable seating, and it goes on way too long. And like VF I rarely drink, but they must always push me to do so. The opposite of fun for me.

Fair enough, but a lot of these gatherings are community functions first; Yes there's usually bad alcohol and worse music involved, but there's no requirement to sit with the drunk uncles for the duration. (or at all).

Personally I show up assess how appropriate the event is to stay for more than a cameo (esp. if I'm with the kids) and then take it from there.

Same applies to weddings and funerals and the like.

Edited April 17, 2013 by WinnieTheKhwai

[johnmcc6]

No I don't assume all big houses are farrang and I did say many not all farrangs. I am familiar with this village and there are many farrang living there. I too show up...look around ...say hello then bolt if I don't like the scene. This particular event turned out great....maybe it was the abundance Leo?????

[villagefarang]

This post does come off as the typical “Why don’t people do things my way?” sort of post. Some people complain that Thais don’t do it their way, while others complain other Farangs don’t do it their way.

By all means do things your way, even complain about others not doing it your way if you must, but put to rest any notion you will change anyones attitudes or actions.

[CobraSnakeNecktie]

Not going to a party is pretty low in the Disrespect-O-meter.

How about setting your neighbors animals on fire?

Showing your neighbors the soles of your shoes when the pass?

Hurling dead vermin into their yard?

Can't anybody dredge up a troll disrespect thread with teeth?

Seriously this is lame offerings.

Edited April 17, 2013 by CobraSnakeNecktie

[Oww]

The music is too damn loud EVERYTIME without fail.

[ramrod711]

I live in a village where I am the ONLY farang. My wife is Thai, she helps at all the funerals, knows everyone at the market and is well liked. I am not religious, Bhudism is not any better or worse than any of the others in my view. I have agreed to attend the wat twice a year, Loi Krathong and her birthday because it is important to her. We donate to the wat when asked and have helped some of the Thai people in our neighbourhood financially. I have also helped to start cars, and push them as well as lifting heavy items. I am not fluent in Thai and can not do much more than discuss the weather with my neighbours. Most of the kids, at some point, have to meet a farang, ask questions and have a photo taken with them, I am always happy to do that. I guess I don't interact more because of the language barrier, but I don't think i'm aloof or disrespectful of anyone.

[iainiain101]

I tend to find the term Farang rude, and you don't often hear it from Thais. Once in 5 years in our village I have been referred to as the Farang to my face and that was in a heated argument.

Why use it in the context of this post?

[WinnieTheKhwai]

I tend to find the term Farang rude, and you don't often hear it from Thais. Once in 5 years in our village I have been referred to as the Farang to my face and that was in a heated argument.

Why use it in the context of this post?

Oh God no........

There goes the original topic. Resistance is futile.

[canuckamuck]

I tend to find the term Farang rude, and you don't often hear it from Thais. Once in 5 years in our village I have been referred to as the Farang to my face and that was in a heated argument.

Why use it in the context of this post?

Is it a 100 percent disability or can you still hear loud noises?

[USNret]

I tend to find the term Farang rude, and you don't often hear it from Thais. Once in 5 years in our village I have been referred to as the Farang to my face and that was in a heated argument.

Why use it in the context of this post?

Oh God no........

There goes the original topic. Resistance is futile.

lol, you mean this "farang" thing has been discussed before?

[chuang]

I tend to find the term Farang rude, and you don't often hear it from Thais. Once in 5 years in our village I have been referred to as the Farang to my face and that was in a heated argument.

Why use it in the context of this post?

Would you prefer to be called a paleface..

[wigantojapan]

I am also the only farang in the village

.I go to some of the important celebrations, funerals, community day tidy the village up......but only for a short period of time

i dont hang around too much as i dont like tobacco smoke and i will be effected by it if i do

simple really

It is a thin line because yes you have the reputation of your wife /partner to think about and what is and not expected so i show up more to save her face

nothing against the villagers

some try to engage me,others ignore me...its a language thing in most cases

Not al lThais turn up at these events either,some because they are busy,some because they are too lazy, drunk or selfish to do so,,but yes you gueseed

when the free hand outs are given,like seeds or plants .vegetables,,yes they are first in the q as well as the free drinks during cremations.

so all in all it depends on the person

some people yes do live in big houses with big walls and only see their servants

some people live in small houses with small walss and only see the 4 walls

security is an issue,which i was surprised about because it is a village and everyone knows everyones business

,but yes people are really scared to l leave things unattended for any length of time.

that surprised me having lived in villages in other asian countries

no police in our village,,,so some people take the piss and will take if given the chance.

The vilagers now know my way of life and what i am about and the stereo type of the rich farang they have a much better undestanding of.

some people come in granted with good intentions and give this that and everything,which enrichenses the rich farang hype and the poor Thai

,but maybe we are diversing here,not sure,,i only write as i think hahah

some of it is because they think they are above others

they wouldnt mix with farang either for many reasons main one snobbery

some of it is as previous posters have stated

you will always get a different perspective from the people who live there fll time,permantly rather than the passing through tourists ,where ever you choose to go in the world

but yes thanks for asking thw question

[wigantojapan]

thank god you can get real whisky at the burmese border,so if i am going to drink,i have a few before i go,then politilly refuse the guff alcohol they offer,with some excuse of upset stomach ,

etcetc

[BB1955]

I love to go to events here . I dont like to go to cremations but I was that way back home too . Wife doesnt like to go to much of anything so most times I go alone. Being a non drinker I do get some funny looks but thats cool . I have alway felt more than welcome and never felt like an outsider by Thai people ... The music is fun !

[Joop50]

You mean the sonkran party with incredible loud sounds, drunk men and horrible food? You may celebrate your way in the village, I prefer ours.
My wifes family and I visit every year the old people from the village and give them their new year package where in return we get their blessings for the new year.
It's a real nice ceremony and every old man or woman say their own good wishes. One man was that old, he could hardly speak but we sat around 20 minutes with our hands in wai and in deep respect. I believe this is more a traditional part of sonkran.

Edited April 17, 2013 by Joop50

[apetley]

My Thai wife doesn't contribute anymore to the local wat as they have thoroughly pissed her off getting a new speaker system that wakes most of the village at 5am.

[ARISTIDE]

I don't blame the fancy pant farangs may be he's too shy being fat, hairy all that

Edited April 17, 2013 by ARISTIDE

[Nowhereman60]

I am the only farang that lives in my tambon. Each year my wife and I go to the village community center for Songkran. Also we go to the temple each year for the blessings of the monks. At my village I am always invites to joins the elders in the blessing. At the temple after the blessing of the monks there is a water fight. Being the only farang in the community has one good advance, when the Fedex truck comes to make a delivery everyone knows where the farang lives.