http://dotsub.com/view/6c5d7514-5656-476a-9504-07dd4e2f6509

The Dick Van Dyck bit is soooo true!

Ayyyyyyyyyyy Caramba...

That was excellent.

What's the show? (Hope it won't shock anyone that I have to ask)...

You have no idea how accurate that is

The look of fear in your eye when ya met me UG.........was it my accent...?

......or a fear that I was theblether?

Visibly relieved when you realised it was just a thin crust pizza muncher.....lucky I brought reinforcements.....

I was just thankful that you were there to translate as I was in shock.

Translate you say? In shock you say?

You're lucky I wasn't talking broad Glasgwegian, you would have fainted

UG ...

In the spirit of humour of the OP ...

A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were
amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny,
silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, 'What is this Father?'

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I have

never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is.'

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement,

a fat old lady on a scooter moved up to the moving walls and

pressed a button.

The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room.
The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers

above the walls light up sequentially.

They continued to watch until it reached the last number …

and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.

Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond

stepped out

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son.....

'Go get your Mother'