Do Tourists All Think Expats Are Married To Ex-'working Girls'?

[MAJIC]

Especially if 'boom boom' and 'ting tong' are commonly used.

'Boom boom' is used by almost all Thais, 'ting tong' isn't, from what I hear.

When you hear Jai Dee it is time to run

I thought it was Kineow.

[TheSpade]

I guess most tourists probably do think it....and in 90% of cases it is probably true so they aren't totally wrong.

[beautifulthailand99]

A fair assumption tbh - very time I go to a major Thai festival in the UK - I would suspect about half the couples are just that. The men coarse talking tatooed Chang monsters - their wives hard faced , dripping with gold dark faced Isaan women. I might be wildly generalising here - but I invariably find on the few occasions I have conversations with them the conv ersation inevitably turns to the Thailand's Pay-for-Play scene - nice.

[deesamui]

a lot of members are in denial, plain and simple, and I don't get the reason why? is it a sin to have a pro or semi pro gf or wive? NO

if you know it and you know what can come up! being a naïve, stupid and immature male is not the problem/fault of the female!

if the rules of engagement are down and acknowledged, everything can working out nice, smooth and dandy, my gf is a semipro and I don't have one reason to complain, btw I carry my own luggage, too. I love thai females, if you treat them right and with respect, as you should treat any woman in anyway, they are one of a kind and if she treats you the same way and you lay down the rules, and not being naïve, stupid, without common western sense and know the general thai female gameplan. nothing to fear but a lot to enjoy, I would never marry one as I would never ever marry a western female again, but that's just me, I like my independence in every way 555

btw: just my opinion : are we not all prostitutes in one way or the other! everybody has his pricetag!

to go at last to the topic: yes tourist do think that, and minimum 50% of the male expats her in the land of seduction are married to a midnight rose, hopefully they know the reality

Edited May 2, 2013 by deesamui

[balloon chaser]

I live in Pattaya. My wife was NEVER a bargirl. And she was a virgin. Seriously. Isn't that amazing? They're not all xxxxxx.

Edited May 2, 2013 by metisdead
Inappropriate language

[Soutpeel]

The actual percentage of foreigners married to ex-working girls may be very negligible.

You have obviously led a very sheltered life in Thailand or not been here very long then if you think that

On suspects the reality is actually the opposite

[cgphuket]

You could always turn the table and ask the tourist if he came to Thailand to diddle little boys, since all tourists are pedophiles.

[Ajaan]

Tourists hold to many absurd and untrue stereotypes about Thailand, particularly regarding the sex industry:

"All sex workers are exploited/doing it against their will"
"All customers of sex workers are fat, balding, and in their 50s-70s"
"All (or most) Thai women are "available" for a price"

The list goes on and on. What can you do? People believe what they hear, and much of what they hear is wrong.

Anyway, he was offensive and had no right saying that to you.

Edited May 3, 2013 by SeaVisionBurma
removed Thai script from post

[jaideeguy]

My Thai wife of 13 years is NOT a bar girl.....not bragging or bullsitting.....just saying, but I know that because of her beautiful dark skin [issan] and her age being 25 years less than mine a lot of ignorant [jealous?] guys may assume that. Luckily they haven't said that to my face. She always dresses conservatively and acts politely and has a college degree [worth 2 satang], so she can and does communicate with people on many levels and I respect that she doesn't have her nose in the air by 'having a falang'.

I have no problems with bar girls tho and have seen a few successful relationships and even tried some in the past, but they didn't work and decided to seek a non bar girl out and got lucky.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Lemon says his Thai doctor used 'boom' so it clearly isn't confined to bar girls.

Its certainly not a Thai word, dont know were it comes from but hear the thai lads working for me using the term, even when they are speaking among themselves...so another myth dispelled by the all knowing TV experts on Thai culture..if a Thai lady uses the term "boom" or "boom boom"..they must be hookers working in a bar

I think it came from here (but 1998 seems too recent).

Edited May 3, 2013 by AnotherOneAmerican

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Cant really blame them it has a reputation for it, personally I would not have been at all bothered by it. There is some strange phenomena in this country though as to why so many ladies marry guys 20+ years older, does seem unique and the fact that many of the guys have traveled at least half way around the world to find wifey in Thailand.

I know many guys who seem to be in total denial about the fact there first encounter cost them money.

Every encounter I ever had with a woman cost me money.

Guess I'm just a sad sack.

[lemoncake]

Especially if 'boom boom' and 'ting tong' are commonly used.

'Boom boom' is used by almost all Thais, 'ting tong' isn't, from what I hear.

When you hear Jai Dee it is time to run

I thought it was Kineow.

If you hear Kineow, you are safe, when you hear Jai dee get ready for "i need" want" must have"

[overherebc]

Ok, a serious question. In reality if you met a lady who is little mature(older) how would you really know who and what she did before?

For example, i have a neighbor, Thai in her mid 40's married to a foreigner, all seems honky dory. HOWEVER

This is her 4th husband(foreigner) and she cleaned out the first 3. All neighbors know this, only the husband does not seem to have a clue.

On the surface she owns a house, has a new car, dresses well, but beneath that, she was simply a skimming hooker.

Another example, is my real estate agent in BKK(few years ago) she was in her late 30's, nice car, condo, agency.

Once as a joke i asked her to come to soi cowboy to look some shows,i guess my question was little unexpected and she replied, she has done that and

been there, worked for years before she got married.

I guess what i am trying to say is that you never really know of her past.

They are called "Gold Diggers " I believe and as far as I have seen they are not unique to Thailand, I have seen

them everywhere I have worked and lived in the world. And yes the world is full of gullible people of all ages, not

just Thailand.

Did you ever spend any time near Aberdeen in the 80's when jobs ( oil and gas) were plentiful and the money was good ? Wall to wall gold diggers and funnily enough none of them were Thai.

[weecree]

One unexplored avenue of the OP is the nationality of the person who asked you. Was he a brit?

I bet he was

[chiang mai]

One unexplored avenue of the OP is the nationality of the person who asked you. Was he a brit?

I bet he was

Doubtful, my guess would be from across the pond.

[Neeranam]

Ok, a serious question. In reality if you met a lady who is little mature(older) how would you really know who and what she did before?

For example, i have a neighbor, Thai in her mid 40's married to a foreigner, all seems honky dory. HOWEVER

This is her 4th husband(foreigner) and she cleaned out the first 3. All neighbors know this, only the husband does not seem to have a clue.

On the surface she owns a house, has a new car, dresses well, but beneath that, she was simply a skimming hooker.

Another example, is my real estate agent in BKK(few years ago) she was in her late 30's, nice car, condo, agency.

Once as a joke i asked her to come to soi cowboy to look some shows,i guess my question was little unexpected and she replied, she has done that and

been there, worked for years before she got married.

I guess what i am trying to say is that you never really know of her past.

They are called "Gold Diggers " I believe and as far as I have seen they are not unique to Thailand, I have seen

them everywhere I have worked and lived in the world. And yes the world is full of gullible people of all ages, not

just Thailand.

Did you ever spend any time near Aberdeen in the 80's when jobs ( oil and gas) were plentiful and the money was good ? Wall to wall gold diggers and funnily enough none of them were Thai.

I'm from Aberdeen and was there in the 80s. I was unaware that women came there from other places to 'dig for gold'.

Are you comparing Thai women who flock to Pattaya/Phuket to anyone in Aberdeen? I don't think that there is any comparison. All girls in Aberdeen could get pretty decent jobs, unlike Noi from Sakhon Nakhon or Lek from Buriram. They have no future. No job prospects, no money, no chance of a rich Thai marrying them. Their only hope is that they meet a clueless farang. This is what turns them to prostitute themselves in a brothel bar in Nana Plaza. There were no brothel bars in Aberdeen - no brothels at all AFAIK.

[Neeranam]

One unexplored avenue of the OP is the nationality of the person who asked you. Was he a brit?

I bet he was

He was Swedish.

[i claudius]

havn't read half the posts on here ,but i must say that this is not true ,our neighbours would never for one thing be so rude as to mention it ,but if your wife is respectable ,dresses respectable ,is not covered in tats then no they do not think it ,years ago i discussed this very subject with my wife and she was quite shocked that i should ask the question ,her answer was "why would our neighbours think i was a prostitute? do i act like one and when we lived in the UK did our friends think it ,? i can see her point .I only know two couples here where the wife was a bar girl ,both have been married a very long time and are very happy,the other couples i know met through work as like myself they either worked here or had buisneses.

One minute ago I read a post assuming that all expats were males.

How rude !

Edited May 3, 2013 by i claudius

[weecree]

Ok, a serious question. In reality if you met a lady who is little mature(older) how would you really know who and what she did before?

For example, i have a neighbor, Thai in her mid 40's married to a foreigner, all seems honky dory. HOWEVER

This is her 4th husband(foreigner) and she cleaned out the first 3. All neighbors know this, only the husband does not seem to have a clue.

On the surface she owns a house, has a new car, dresses well, but beneath that, she was simply a skimming hooker.

Another example, is my real estate agent in BKK(few years ago) she was in her late 30's, nice car, condo, agency.

Once as a joke i asked her to come to soi cowboy to look some shows,i guess my question was little unexpected and she replied, she has done that and

been there, worked for years before she got married.

I guess what i am trying to say is that you never really know of her past.

They are called "Gold Diggers " I believe and as far as I have seen they are not unique to Thailand, I have seen

them everywhere I have worked and lived in the world. And yes the world is full of gullible people of all ages, not

just Thailand.

Did you ever spend any time near Aberdeen in the 80's when jobs ( oil and gas) were plentiful and the money was good ? Wall to wall gold diggers and funnily enough none of them were Thai.

I'm from Aberdeen and was there in the 80s. I was unaware that women came there from other places to 'dig for gold'.

Are you comparing Thai women who flock to Pattaya/Phuket to anyone in Aberdeen? I don't think that there is any comparison. All girls in Aberdeen could get pretty decent jobs, unlike Noi from Sakhon Nakhon or Lek from Buriram. They have no future. No job prospects, no money, no chance of a rich Thai marrying them. Their only hope is that they meet a clueless farang. This is what turns them to prostitute themselves in a brothel bar in Nana Plaza. There were no brothel bars in Aberdeen - no brothels at all AFAIK.

It is kinda illegal though...

[overherebc]

Neeranam,

You probably read more into my post than was intended.

I was referring to women there at the time some of them so blatant with their attitude to only date an oil worker because of the cash in his pocket or the type of car he had. In conversations with them many times the question, what do you drive ? came into it. If you said ford escort you could see the shutters come down, if you said jag or daimler etc then you were still in with a chance.

Of course there were no girly bars as you get here but there were a few known where a good pick-up could be had if you had the right accessories, ie loads of dosh and a nice car. Name a city that's different today.

[Berkshire]

Given the areas that tourists visit and that most foreigners meet their ladies because the ladies are also looking to meet them ,be it through the entertainment industry or on-line dating , I would say that the assumption is accurate.

It is also an assumption made by most Thais .

I have a female Thai friend, quote hiso, who told me she will never marry a farang cos all Thais will think she is a lady of the night. How pervasive is this prejudice? Anyone else has this same feedback from a Thai friend ?

very true and one of the reasons why wealthy Thai family's do not allow their daughters to marry foreigners no matter the age.

I have heard this as well. But to answer the OP's question regarding western tourist perception, the answer would also be a definite "yes." And whether they think she's an ex-pro, or just a garden variety mail-order-bride, it doesn't make any difference. Essentially, they don't believe that you married a Thai woman (and she married you) for the "right" reasons, in terms of the western idea of love and marriage.

The thing is, I would think all expats know of this negative perception going in. Surely, you know what people back home will think because you probably thought the same before you came here. But you chose to have a relationship with a Thai woman anyways. Nothing wrong with that, of course, but the perception will not change just because you believe her to be the "exception." That's just the way it is, and it probably won't change in our lifetimes. And I find the perception to be the same regardless of the age of the farang, young or old, fat or skinny, whatever. Back in the states, the perception seems to be the same for any Asian woman, whether she's Filipino, Thai, or Korean.

The only solution I can see if any of you is bothered by this, is to marry a farang. Otherwise, don't let it get to you.

[phuketjock]

Ok, a serious question. In reality if you met a lady who is little mature(older) how would you really know who and what she did before?

For example, i have a neighbor, Thai in her mid 40's married to a foreigner, all seems honky dory. HOWEVER

This is her 4th husband(foreigner) and she cleaned out the first 3. All neighbors know this, only the husband does not seem to have a clue.

On the surface she owns a house, has a new car, dresses well, but beneath that, she was simply a skimming hooker.

Another example, is my real estate agent in BKK(few years ago) she was in her late 30's, nice car, condo, agency.

Once as a joke i asked her to come to soi cowboy to look some shows,i guess my question was little unexpected and she replied, she has done that and

been there, worked for years before she got married.

I guess what i am trying to say is that you never really know of her past.

They are called "Gold Diggers " I believe and as far as I have seen they are not unique to Thailand, I have seen

them everywhere I have worked and lived in the world. And yes the world is full of gullible people of all ages, not

just Thailand.

Did you ever spend any time near Aberdeen in the 80's when jobs ( oil and gas) were plentiful and the money was good ? Wall to wall gold diggers and funnily enough none of them were Thai.

I'm from Aberdeen and was there in the 80s. I was unaware that women came there from other places to 'dig for gold'.

Are you comparing Thai women who flock to Pattaya/Phuket to anyone in Aberdeen? I don't think that there is any comparison. All girls in Aberdeen could get pretty decent jobs, unlike Noi from Sakhon Nakhon or Lek from Buriram. They have no future. No job prospects, no money, no chance of a rich Thai marrying them. Their only hope is that they meet a clueless farang. This is what turns them to prostitute themselves in a brothel bar in Nana Plaza. There were no brothel bars in Aberdeen - no brothels at all AFAIK.

You are one niave Aberdonian if you actually believe thare are no brothels in Aberdeen, did you never visit

the docks area? I'm from Dundee and I do not think there are no brothels there. I would go as far as to say

there are very few cities in the world the size of Aberdeen/Dundee that do not have brothels.

[ARISTIDE]

Where are the brothels?

[brewsterbudgen]

Where are the brothels?

world brothel.jpg

In Scotland aren't they usually called massage parlours or saunas?

[Kitsune]

One minute ago I read a post assuming that all expats were males.

How rude !

I hope you were true to yourself and made an exit.

No ... did you ?

[Neeranam]

Where are the brothels?

world brothel.jpg

In Scotland aren't they usually called massage parlours or saunas?

Not when I lived in Aberdeen, although when I lived in Edinburgh in 1988, there were brothels called saunas and they were legal I think..

[ABCer]

This is a typically wrong put question. No wonder the answers are so many, so varied and so contradictory.

May I suggest a few statements establishing at least a semblance of points of reference.

Once we agree on the following suggestions, we can find an easier way to discuss the OP question.

Women = women; Thai women = women.

Pros = pros; Thai pros = pros.

Men = men; Farang men = men.

It may look stupid, but if we agree on the above, the OP question is clearly incorrect. Answers are easy.

Not all tourists think...

Not all Expats are married...

Some Expats do marry pros, bargirls, etc... with very different results... here in Thailand as much as in other places...

Eventually, it all boils down to statistics and stereotyping. No need to bash in some poor tourist's face. All sorts of tourists comes here. The one you meet in a bar is just that.

If my information is correct, there are no Social Services money payable to women here, young or old... not many child support orders either... so what can be expected?..

I am sure women here in Thailand are not 'doing it' more than in any other country...

But sure as hell they are less protected from consequences, be it a child, a stigma, a disease or physical abuse...

The answer to OP is: No, no and no!

But be not surprised if some people (tourists or not, here in Thailand or back home, men or women) think Yes, yes and yes!

[Billy The Kid]

Going to Pattaya is like going to Adult Disneyland, you cant marry a mickey mouse cos her place is still in Disneyland. Just my silly Philosophy.

[Naam]

Where are the brothels?

world brothel.jpg

In Scotland aren't they usually called massage parlours or saunas?

in Tchermanny a brothel is called Eros Center

[lemoncake]

Going to Pattaya is like going to Adult Disneyland, you cant marry a mickey mouse cos her place is still in Disneyland. Just my silly Philosophy.

I thought mickey mouse was a male not a "her"