Yesterday i saw a lamb(tourist) going to the slaughter

[Considered Opinion]

Seems to me that the first danger signal was that she was in a bad mood because he did not go along with her wishes.

The second danger signal was that he had come to Thailand for only about 2 weeks, to "see about marrying" her.

My view also unfortunately. My first trip was all about that. Went to the village. Met the (now) in-laws. Loved them. Loved the village. Loved the country.

There are negatives no doubt, and there are danger signs we all know about and observe, and occasionally try to change someone's mind, but they have a right to make their errors of judgement before they arrive on TV and find out all the things we knew that they didn't.

So, my opinion, considered as it is, give them an experiential warning, but wish them luck. None of us know the girl. Well not obviously. They MAY NOT be diggers. Still doesn't mean the guy has no right to experience them.

Then, job done, sit back, have a Chang and be thankful that you know everything, have people you know and love in your life, light a smoke in the bar, and think back to your first few days.

And after 13 years, my man and me are still together.

Edited August 15, 2013 by Considered Opinion

[arminbkk]

Sounds to me like this lamb is going to have a great experience here in Thailand and will get to see more then just Pattaya. Many people ONLY visit Pattaya then go home with not a lot to say about Thailand but there Pattaya experience.

I think it is great that he will visit a real Thai family and see how hospitable they can be and experience how his maybe future gf/wife's lives.

Smart guy for just renting a mini van and driver for his venture.

He is now on the venture of his life like many of us have been before when we first started coming to Thailand and many it has worked out and for many it has not, either way, great memories and I wish him all the luck in the world. He will at least get to see in 3 days more then what many who have been here for years have not seen.

BTW you should not judge a book by it's cover. Tattoos and the way people dress don't mean anything. There is a girl who works in Big-C that is covered with tattoos but she has a regular job. Why do you assume that this girl is a bar girl? Why didn't you give him some positive stories in Thailand if you have been here for some time?

The way people dress is extremely important to Thais.

The whole society judges a book by its cover all the time!

Naam jai is also an important Thai value , this implies that the gf should be flexible and helpful and nice to her potential husband , not unhappy and demanding.

The suggestion that she gives a hoot about the comfort of the driver , a mere employee who should be used to sleeping in his bus , sends alarm bells ringing ... so I'd also bet that the 'driver' is not just a driver.

I dont see anything condescending in the tone of the OP , just a comment on what he saw.

Then why do most of them dress poorly?

As for OP: the girl's bad mood was/is already a give away.

[spermwhale]

Sounds to me like this lamb is going to have a great experience here in Thailand and will get to see more then just Pattaya. Many people ONLY visit Pattaya then go home with not a lot to say about Thailand but there Pattaya experience.

I think it is great that he will visit a real Thai family and see how hospitable they can be and experience how his maybe future gf/wife's lives.

Smart guy for just renting a mini van and driver for his venture.

He is now on the venture of his life like many of us have been before when we first started coming to Thailand and many it has worked out and for many it has not, either way, great memories and I wish him all the luck in the world. He will at least get to see in 3 days more then what many who have been here for years have not seen.

BTW you should not judge a book by it's cover. Tattoos and the way people dress don't mean anything. There is a girl who works in Big-C that is covered with tattoos but she has a regular job. Why do you assume that this girl is a bar girl? Why didn't you give him some positive stories in Thailand if you have been here for some time?

Regarding the last part about tattoos. In fact it does tell you a lot about the class of the person. just because someone works at Big C does not exempt them from being trashy. And if she is pouting about him not renting a van for 10 days it's because she is selfish and is just looking for a free ride.

[ava15]

So tattoos can be used to identify someones level of class?

Edited August 15, 2013 by ava15

[poanoi]

Maybe, my ex demanded to know if i had any tatoos before she went ahead

[klauskunkel]

A true Thainess ambassador, sharing the culture up close and personal...

[julemanden]

Sounds to me like this lamb is going to have a great experience here in Thailand and will get to see more then just Pattaya. Many people ONLY visit Pattaya then go home with not a lot to say about Thailand but there Pattaya experience.

I think it is great that he will visit a real Thai family and see how hospitable they can be and experience how his maybe future gf/wife's lives.

Smart guy for just renting a mini van and driver for his venture.

He is now on the venture of his life like many of us have been before when we first started coming to Thailand and many it has worked out and for many it has not, either way, great memories and I wish him all the luck in the world. He will at least get to see in 3 days more then what many who have been here for years have not seen.

BTW you should not judge a book by it's cover. Tattoos and the way people dress don't mean anything. There is a girl who works in Big-C that is covered with tattoos but she has a regular job. Why do you assume that this girl is a bar girl? Why didn't you give him some positive stories in Thailand if you have been here for some time?

Are there any positive stories to tell?

[poanoi]

yes, HIV positive

[nev]

Tattoos and the way people dress don't mean anything.

Guys in prison are also covered in tatoos, but maybe that doesn't mean anything either....

Beam me up Scotty

And lots of Monks in the Wats are covered in tatoo's. maybe this is a sign they worked in boystown before

[umbanda]

Thailand is a great country comparing with many in this world......I am an American married with Thai, originally from a "third world" country. Even in America or Europe foreigners can be scammed and robed....and Thailand is a Paradise of decency comparing with South America countries...."just try to be in the wrong place at the wrong time"....like walking alone and after midnight on New York's Central Park.....or on Copacabana Beach...

Thailand is not Pattaya or Puket.... but is an Asian country...If you cannot take the time to integrate to its culture and figure out what is right and what is wrong to do here....is better for you to look for your "right" place to be.

[cooked]

Sounds to me like this lamb is going to have a great experience here in Thailand and will get to see more then just Pattaya. Many people ONLY visit Pattaya then go home with not a lot to say about Thailand but there Pattaya experience.

I think it is great that he will visit a real Thai family and see how hospitable they can be and experience how his maybe future gf/wife's lives.

Smart guy for just renting a mini van and driver for his venture.

He is now on the venture of his life like many of us have been before when we first started coming to Thailand and many it has worked out and for many it has not, either way, great memories and I wish him all the luck in the world. He will at least get to see in 3 days more then what many who have been here for years have not seen.

BTW you should not judge a book by it's cover. Tattoos and the way people dress don't mean anything. There is a girl who works in Big-C that is covered with tattoos but she has a regular job. Why do you assume that this girl is a bar girl? Why didn't you give him some positive stories in Thailand if you have been here for some time?

I find this comment very interesting, I hadn't realised that so few people had been up country to visit the 'real Thailand' for more than a day or two. Going off topic here and ruminating about a new topic.

[Issangeorge]

Seems to me that the first danger signal was that she was in a bad mood because he did not go along with her wishes.

The second danger signal was that he had come to Thailand for only about 2 weeks, to "see about marrying" her.

 

Usually woman (Farang, Thai, any nationality) keep on the happy face until after fhe wedding, especially if it is for only two weeks.

Sent from my i-mobile IQ 6 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[anto]

Lamb to the slaughter ? maybe ,but he might be in for the ride of his life also .The signs as observed by the OP fortell a nasty ending though .

[Rigs]

Maybe after he realizes his doing all the paying he may wake up.

[yougivemebaby]

I like all the guys who are saying. Yeah. The girl might be a good girl ( don't assume just because she's coming from Soi 6 covered in tattoos wearing tiny shorts bum sticking out. ). 55555 She's just the receptionist. Oh God. I'm sure she is receiving plenty of guests into her hotel.

[ava15]

Oh haha, just noticed this is in the Pattaya forum.

Yeah, not good signs at all!

[Monkeyrobot]

Feel sorry for the bloke & you can't tell them either, wonder what his total bill will be for 10 days? hope he does not start sending ammo for her by western union. Maybe he will meet her brother ? strange how they both sleep in the same room he wonders. Were a close family she replies when asked.

[gaucho]

she wanted him to put the driver up in a hotel so he could drive the familly around in that time

The driver is probably her husband / boyfriend.

exactly .....also the fact she wants him to stay for his entire holidays ......the reason is control ....he wont be able to meet any mongers and be alerted to the scamming that is obviously going on ...as for the dopes that dont think this is what is happening ...u r dreaming ...

[Card]

Did he have the classic "fresh off the boat" look, combined with the "possum caught in the headlight" look? Wearing a Chang singlet, baggy cargo shorts, flip-flops and ankles covered in mozzie bites?

I saw a flock of them on Beach Road last night, most of them heading towards the shearing shed, I mean, Walking Street.

Shearing shed? isn't that where Ozzies have their first encounter then go on to use it to practice fore-play?

[Monkeyrobot]

Did he have the classic "fresh off the boat" look, combined with the "possum caught in the headlight" look? Wearing a Chang singlet, baggy cargo shorts, flip-flops and ankles covered in mozzie bites?

I saw a flock of them on Beach Road last night, most of them heading towards the shearing shed, I mean, Walking Street.

Shearing shed? isn't that where Ozzies have their first encounter then go on to use it to practice fore-play?

You mutton say that it's baaaaad.

[infinity11]

Met many a thai gal, met the parents only once, never again.

Many a times i am tempted to warn a newbie about one thing or another, sometimes hard to know when and when not to.

That may or may not be the point of the thread but IMHO very much worthy of discussion.

So what can YOU warn people about, "never see the parents"??? You did have once in a lifetime experience

and than you want to warn people.....

experience has spoken

Glegolo

These are two separate posts and two separate points.

Combining them changes the context completely.

Is there not a rule against this!!!!!!!!

(the first post/comment was tongue in cheek, check the emoticon in the first post)

I did resolve my second point in my mind and i may move forward with this in mind:

Would i want someone to (honestly) warm me? YES!!!!

This does get a bit sticky because about half of what people say is fabricated. (if not more)

So i don't know what to believe.

But stepping in and helping others?

Is that not what we are here for?

I mean our highest calling?

(i know i am going to get blasted for the last 2 questions)

It is still a tough choice.

Zen teaches to mind your own business.

I guess it boils down to intention and attitude.

Edited August 15, 2013 by infinity11

[jeff2258]

In the 3 days since he arrived, did the receptionist girl manage to obtain his pin number ?

[LawrenceN]

Actually as i was leaving i tried to tell him not to rush into anything and that all is not what it seems here,hopefully after a few days up in Isaan with the relatives all there with their hands out he may just come to his senses ,but about 6 months ago myself and a few friends were talking to a guy who was broke after losing two ,yes two houses to women and this was someone who lives here ,was it P T Barnham that said "never give a sucker an even break"

No, Barnum said, "There's a sucker born every minute." That, btw, is the correct spelling of Barnum. Don't know who said don't give 'em an even break. Sounds like Vegas to me.

[metaben]

10 days up country with the family in the van. Wow, now that's a vacation

[robertson468]

I have many friends who are married to Thai Ladies and are very happy. Like any other couple, they have their issues because remember "men are from Mars and women are from Venus". However, I had a Guy stay in one of my Houses who told me that a couple of years ago he set up home with a Thai Lady in Issan. No sooner was the house built than he was barred from the House and had to "walk away". Last year he came back, with a different Lady Friend and now he is off up to Korat with her, to build her a House. From what I can judge from her, she seems an honest and loving partner for him, but one never quite knows until you have a few years co-habitating under your belt. As others have commented, some Ladies will betray you without a second thought - Sampson and Delila? I half expect a phone call from him asking if he can come back and rent a house again - hopefully not.

[rct99q]

Was he heading to Nong Khai? Just had the neighbor's daughter return home and the house was in a fluster the last couple of days. They were stowing away the daughter's two previous children, the "brother" was told to go live with the "aunt" for a few days and all 3 of the vehicles were stashed in our yard and they moved in some chickens, two cows and some pigs!

Told them I wanted an all paid for one week holiday in Chiang Mai or else I was going to put the word out that the new guy was being used. The wife and I have got our bags packed and tickets in hand......looks like they have found a keeper!!!

For a couple of months anyway....the previous farang ended up being killed in a motorcycle crash about 13 months ago.........hhmmmm!

[smooth expat]

Whatever makes him happy. I'm sure many guys have married "women of the night" and are very happy. Doesn't mean they're going to get ripped off or murdered.

[rascalman]

Hooe he is not taken in by bar girl down from Issan? Bar girl romance usually go bad, plus lose your money too!

[yougivemebaby]

When I first came to Thailand I was all excited about being with an Asian girl. I never dated one. THeir sweet smiles just melted my heart..

I did make the choice to go with a working lady. I didn't care, I didn't think I was staying here that long. Thanks to this forum and my common sense though I knew what I was there for. Same as any ladies in the world. An ATM. I never made major purchases, rarely bought things for the family. Kept at a distance from the family.

My best used line is. Awww I'd like to buy you that gold/shirt/house but I just don't have enough money right now.

One girls family I was staying with the HOUR I was moving out just so happened to have a brother that got caught (not) smoking yaba. and they needed 15,000 for the police. I said Ohh no.. I'd love to help but I just don't have the cash right now. Sorry. THey were fiercely pissed almost trying to intimidate me but damn it felt good to not give them a baht.

Don't have enough money right now ALWAYS works. Shut them up right away.

Now i'm single. A LOT cheaper with so many less hassles. Dont like the game don't need the headache.

[quiuvo]

Many of us have gone down that beaten path. I went with my ex to the village where po and mama live. They wanted me to fix the roof, get a tractor and buy some land. Not bad for a family that did not go to college and would appear do not know how to negotiate. I survived that one.

But looking back at life, I paid 40% of my income for child support for 18 yrs. that would not happen here. I know a Thai man with for ladies (Mia noi) each with a child!