according to the thais the only perfect expat is the one actually they see boarding the plane with the one way ticket to farang land but only if they have checked his pockets and suitcases before hand to see if he hasnt stolen any land.

all others are definitely highly suspect until they can confirm as the above.

According to which Thais exactly? You do certainly not make a perfect expat with an attitude like that.

Knows how to put down anything Asian or Thai.

Gripes about food, being called a Farang, Traffic, BiBs.

Has choice words for Thai women, Thai men and trannies.

Lives in Pattaya or Phuket.

Goes to places like Soi Nana, or Soi Cowboy then complains when he is not treated well by the hostesses.

A dead one?

according to the thais the only perfect expat is the one actually they see boarding the plane with the one way ticket to farang land but only if they have checked his pockets and suitcases before hand to see if he hasnt stolen any land.

all others are definitely highly suspect until they can confirm as the above.

On the board 6 hours and describing your self all ready. I can appreciate the fact that you feel like a piece of cow dung but please do try to not drag us all down to your level,

In LOS big smile open wallet

That would be chemical / liquid happiness. The happiness that I believe we are talking about here is more accurately termed 'contentment'.

so are you suggesting the only way an expat can smile and spend freely if if they are chemically induced? My reply was from the perspective of a Thai's view of the perfect expat. As others stated be invisible and if you are noticed smile and have an open wallet and IMO you will be the perfect xpat which by the way is far from who I am. I complain and distain much of Los

once upon a time i had a buisness in BKK ,came here every few months and rogered every woman that was warm and would let me .

Now i live in a house with my wife ,we have a son in university ,we we go shopping ,eat out sometimes ,when our son is home we take him and his girlfriend out ,i skype my familly in UK ,i watch tv ,come on here ,read the papers online ,spend money in the local shops and run a car . am i a perfect expat ,don't know ,but i am a happy one. ,

Knows how to put down anything Asian or Thai.

Gripes about food, being called a Farang, Traffic, BiBs.

Has choice words for Thai women, Thai men and trannies.

Lives in Pattaya or Phuket.

Goes to places like Soi Nana, or Soi Cowboy then complains when he is not treated well by the hostesses.

Sounds more like stereotyping to me.

Perfect for whom? When going to bars, the more cash you throw around you, the more perfect you are. If in doubt you can always ask the girls if they would rather see your visa, check your nicely pressed long pants, check your hairstyle, hear you speak thai or have you ring the bell :-)

Demanding a discount on a fixed price item while dressed in shorts and a tank top and smelly armpits galore. Huffing off in a fit of rage and leering at any innocent Thai woman in his vicinity as his tattooed company gets out of the rest room and talks impolitely as all Thais around take notice and make disgusted faces. Finishing the event by getting into a knife fight with a tuk tuk driver over 20 baht.

Some people say one has to be invisible. Again, depends on who you ask. I suggest putting it to a test. One night, dress nice, go into a bar, sit in a corner and behave really nice, have a few drinks, perhaps with a girl, and go home. The next night, wear a bathrobe, go into the same bar a bit drunk, behave like a monkey (not obnoxious) and make sure you ring the bell and throw around 100s plenty of times.

The next morning, try to recall both nights, and see which one you felt more perfect :-D

If still in doubt, go back to the bar and ask all the girls and the boss which night they liked you the most :-D