Elderly gentleman

[cacruden]

The "calculation" of age difference "acceptable" (acceptable is a bad word - but I could not think of the correct one) at time of marriage (according to general accepted norms) is: mens age / 2 + 7 years. I never cared what accepted norms were though

Translates into:

Mens age / Womens age

20 / 17

25 / 19

30 / 22

40 / 27

50 / 32

60 / 37

70 / 42

80 / 47

Dead as a doorknob....

[thailiketoo]

The "calculation" of age difference "acceptable" (acceptable is a bad word - but I could not think of the correct one) at time of marriage (according to general accepted norms) is: mens age / 2 + 7 years. I never cared what accepted norms were though

Translates into:

Mens age / Womens age

20 / 17

25 / 19

30 / 22

40 / 27

50 / 32

60 / 37

70 / 42

80 / 47

Dead as a doorknob....

There is of course the mia noi chart.

20/18

25/18

30/18

40/18

50/18

60/18

70/18

80/18

90/18

Young women gives em another 10 years; that's what my Thai/Chinese doctor told me.

[cacruden]

"thai men just want sex with many young girls". One thing I have never had to do in my life iwas pay for sex, cant figure out how someone finds that arousing but then I suppose some people are just not able to attract their own women without paying for it.

Only Thai men want sex with many young girls?

Paying for sex is the norm in large parts of Thailand. 50% of guys in Thailand (talking Thais) have paid for sex by the age of 16. By University it is much higher. Sin Sot is more or less paying her parents for the right to marry (and associated with that sex with). Having sex with someone before marriage can result in a "damages" being paid. Basically it is understood that you will pay for it one way or another - it is just never discussed that way in polite conversation -- it would cause a loss of face. It is ingrained though. The more the income/wealth disparity is the more likely/acceptable large age differences become.

The problem is that with the Christian roots, we are hung up with sex being bad.... prostitution evil.... you marry for love (biological).... but love is not something that happens at first sight -- that is a chemical reaction that has been programmed into us by nature to ensure the species survival -- and that usually fades over time. Love is something that grows over time.

Too many westerners come here with their Christian hangups and treat the girls they "play around with" (pay for sex) with disrespect and look down upon them.... I respect that type of person much less than any others because of the way they treat others.

Edited November 23, 2013 by cacruden

[FiftyTwo]

The problem is that with the Christian roots, we are hung up with sex being bad.... prostitution evil.... you marry for love (biological).... but love is not something that happens at first sight -- that is a chemical reaction that has been programmed into us by nature to ensure the species survival -- and that usually fades over time. Love is something that grows over time.

Too many westerners come here with their Christian hangups and treat the girls they "play around with" (pay for sex) with disrespect and look down upon them.... I respect that type of person much less than any others because of the way they treat others.

Christians didn't marry for love until after 1920.

Strange that 'Hollywood' happened at about the same time.

Love is not natural, men falling asleep after sex is natural.

Marriage for love, nothing to do with Christianity, everything to do with Hollywood fantasy.

[thailiketoo]

The problem is that with the Christian roots, we are hung up with sex being bad.... prostitution evil.... you marry for love (biological).... but love is not something that happens at first sight -- that is a chemical reaction that has been programmed into us by nature to ensure the species survival -- and that usually fades over time. Love is something that grows over time.

Too many westerners come here with their Christian hangups and treat the girls they "play around with" (pay for sex) with disrespect and look down upon them.... I respect that type of person much less than any others because of the way they treat others.

Christians didn't marry for love until after 1920.

Strange that 'Hollywood' happened at about the same time.

Love is not natural, men falling asleep after sex is natural.

Marriage for love, nothing to do with Christianity, everything to do with Hollywood fantasy.

Wasn't there an English guy who wrote a play called Romeo and Juliet around 1591 and there was an American called Longfellow (joke probably) who wrote Evangeline in 1847. Don't think they had Hollywood in 1591 did they? Actually I agree with 52 except he should have said London Fantasy.

Edited November 23, 2013 by thailiketoo

[FiftyTwo]

The problem is that with the Christian roots, we are hung up with sex being bad.... prostitution evil.... you marry for love (biological).... but love is not something that happens at first sight -- that is a chemical reaction that has been programmed into us by nature to ensure the species survival -- and that usually fades over time. Love is something that grows over time.

Too many westerners come here with their Christian hangups and treat the girls they "play around with" (pay for sex) with disrespect and look down upon them.... I respect that type of person much less than any others because of the way they treat others.

Christians didn't marry for love until after 1920.

Strange that 'Hollywood' happened at about the same time.

Love is not natural, men falling asleep after sex is natural.

Marriage for love, nothing to do with Christianity, everything to do with Hollywood fantasy.

Wasn't there an English guy who wrote a play called Romeo and Juliet around 1591 and there was an American called Longfellow (joke probably) who wrote Evangeline in 1847. Don't think they had Hollywood in 1591 did they? Actually I agree with 52 except he should have said London Fantasy.

There were stories written about love, but it never actually caught on.

Probably because there was no social services and family court in those days.

PS

Yeah, Romeo and Juliet really worked out well, murder/suicide wasn't it?

How old was she? (13) How old was he? Did I hear anyone say paedophile?

Edited November 23, 2013 by FiftyTwo

[cacruden]

If I read between the lines you are upset that the law precludes you and a 13 year old

Unfortunately the lines are blurred now with everyone misusing the world paedophile. A paedophile is a person that is exclusively interested in prepubescent adolescence.

What many people here call a paedophile is actually an ephebophiles (15 - 17 - post-pubescent). Legal age for a Thai but not for farang -- since adolescence under the law cannot give consent when they are "induced" (money or from a person in authority over the child). Assumption when farangs are involved that it is an induced relationship. It is not unnatural to be attracted to young girls since younger women are biologically more likely to produce healthy children..... It is however in societies interest to encourage those of that age to stay in school etc. and to protect them against being induced -- against the parents will (assuming the parents have their children's interests at heart).

In Juliets time most adolescence that age had already left school and entered the working world or were married - it was a different world.... and today.... it is NOT allowed for the interests of society and enshrined into law. You will just have to reprogram yourself to be a teleiophile (one interested in full grown) women.

[thailiketoo]

Christians didn't marry for love until after 1920.

Strange that 'Hollywood' happened at about the same time.

Love is not natural, men falling asleep after sex is natural.

Marriage for love, nothing to do with Christianity, everything to do with Hollywood fantasy.

Wasn't there an English guy who wrote a play called Romeo and Juliet around 1591 and there was an American called Longfellow (joke probably) who wrote Evangeline in 1847. Don't think they had Hollywood in 1591 did they? Actually I agree with 52 except he should have said London Fantasy.

There were stories written about love, but it never actually caught on.

Probably because there was no social services and family court in those days.

PS

Yeah, Romeo and Juliet really worked out well, murder/suicide wasn't it?

How old was she? (13) How old was he? Did I hear anyone say paedophile?

I am sure you will find many on TV who could have a conversation with a person who thinks William Shakespeare wrote kiddie porn however I am not one of them.

[robblok]

Its so funny and people here will say what i write is a lie. Just got called by a close friend 26 years old an looking quite nice. After a short chat he told me about his latest girl she just paid some expensive stuff for him she is 27 and has an 66 year old German as a boyfriend he pays everything for her sends her to school and pays for a car and a massage shop and an allowance. He thinks its love she calls him her sponsor not her boyfriend. She calls my friend her boyfriend.

This is not the first girl he has had who had an older sponsor. It happens far more then older guys wish to acknowledge. Its not about strong or confident older guys its often about money and how they get it from them and then have fun with their giks.

Im sure it does not always happen but far more as most want to admit.

I have seen good age gap relations so sure it can work but many guys kid themselves.

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa app

[meom]

Its so funny and people here will say what i write is a lie. Just got called by a close friend 26 years old an looking quite nice. After a short chat he told me about his latest girl she just paid some expensive stuff for him she is 27 and has an 66 year old German as a boyfriend he pays everything for her sends her to school and pays for a car and a massage shop and an allowance. He thinks its love she calls him her sponsor not her boyfriend. She calls my friend her boyfriend.

This is not the first girl he has had who had an older sponsor. It happens far more then older guys wish to acknowledge. Its not about strong or confident older guys its often about money and how they get it from them and then have fun with their giks.

Im sure it does not always happen but far more as most want to admit.

I have seen good age gap relations so sure it can work but many guys kid themselves.

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa app

No offense Rob but why would your friend knowingly fool around with another man's wife?

The old man might be a fool but your friend seems to be worse.

[cacruden]

One girl I know had 3 sponsors and a BOYFRIEND. One of the sponsors found an SMS message from another and told him she was with someone new now (or something to the effect) - which did get rid of one of the sponsors.... she refilled that sponsor slot with another. Lose a sponsor, and you lose some income.... lose a boyfriend and she would really be upset

[thailiketoo]

Its so funny and people here will say what i write is a lie. Just got called by a close friend 26 years old an looking quite nice. After a short chat he told me about his latest girl she just paid some expensive stuff for him she is 27 and has an 66 year old German as a boyfriend he pays everything for her sends her to school and pays for a car and a massage shop and an allowance. He thinks its love she calls him her sponsor not her boyfriend. She calls my friend her boyfriend.

This is not the first girl he has had who had an older sponsor. It happens far more then older guys wish to acknowledge. Its not about strong or confident older guys its often about money and how they get it from them and then have fun with their giks.

Im sure it does not always happen but far more as most want to admit.

I have seen good age gap relations so sure it can work but many guys kid themselves.

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa app

Your comment might be accurate if it was difficult for old men to retire in Thailand. When the cat is never away the mice never play. Look elsewhere for your easy marks. The critical variable is time spent in Thailand not age.

[cacruden]

Its so funny and people here will say what i write is a lie. Just got called by a close friend 26 years old an looking quite nice. After a short chat he told me about his latest girl she just paid some expensive stuff for him she is 27 and has an 66 year old German as a boyfriend he pays everything for her sends her to school and pays for a car and a massage shop and an allowance. He thinks its love she calls him her sponsor not her boyfriend. She calls my friend her boyfriend.

This is not the first girl he has had who had an older sponsor. It happens far more then older guys wish to acknowledge. Its not about strong or confident older guys its often about money and how they get it from them and then have fun with their giks.

Im sure it does not always happen but far more as most want to admit.

I have seen good age gap relations so sure it can work but many guys kid themselves.

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa app

No offense Rob but why would your friend knowingly fool around with another man's wife?

The old man might be a fool but your friend seems to be worse.

I see nothing in there about a wife. If she were married, it might be different - but then it is HER relationship not his.

You seem to be viewing her as some sort of possession.... where somehow he is stealing HIS possession.

Edited November 23, 2013 by cacruden

[meom]

Its so funny and people here will say what i write is a lie. Just got called by a close friend 26 years old an looking quite nice. After a short chat he told me about his latest girl she just paid some expensive stuff for him she is 27 and has an 66 year old German as a boyfriend he pays everything for her sends her to school and pays for a car and a massage shop and an allowance. He thinks its love she calls him her sponsor not her boyfriend. She calls my friend her boyfriend.

This is not the first girl he has had who had an older sponsor. It happens far more then older guys wish to acknowledge. Its not about strong or confident older guys its often about money and how they get it from them and then have fun with their giks.

Im sure it does not always happen but far more as most want to admit.

I have seen good age gap relations so sure it can work but many guys kid themselves.

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa app

No offense Rob but why would your friend knowingly fool around with another man's wife?

The old man might be a fool but your friend seems to be worse.

I see nothing in there about a wife. If she were married, it might be different - but then it is HER relationship not his.

You seem to be viewing her as some sort of possession.... where somehow he is stealing HIS possession.

Yes you're right I read wrong and the old German is her boyfriend.

I still wouldn't fvk around with her knowing she had a boyfriend.

Nothing to do with possession; just common sense.

[khunPer]

Its so funny and people here will say what i write is a lie. Just got called by a close friend 26 years old an looking quite nice. After a short chat he told me about his latest girl she just paid some expensive stuff for him she is 27 and has an 66 year old German as a boyfriend he pays everything for her sends her to school and pays for a car and a massage shop and an allowance. He thinks its love she calls him her sponsor not her boyfriend. She calls my friend her boyfriend.

This is not the first girl he has had who had an older sponsor. It happens far more then older guys wish to acknowledge. Its not about strong or confident older guys its often about money and how they get it from them and then have fun with their giks.

Im sure it does not always happen but far more as most want to admit.

I have seen good age gap relations so sure it can work but many guys kid themselves.

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa app

Students in Thailand (presumably also other places) having a “Sugar Daddy” seems not to be unsual – and the Sugar Daddy may well be an elderly Asian man.

[DrTuner]

Students in Thailand (presumably also other places) having a “Sugar Daddy” seems not to be unsual – and the Sugar Daddy may well be an elderly Asian man.

Japan instantly sprung to mind.

[grin]

I have an interesting vantage point. My stepdaughter is in her 20's and we know most of her friends. So we are talking about a group of about 15 women in their 20's, all with college degrees from a well established university, none from a poor background and none from a rich background as far as I can tell. In fact we have known some of these women from before they were college age and we have met a number of their parents and families.

During their college years most of them were dating guys their own age, mostly fellow students. Some were still dating their boyfriends from before college. The interesting thing was that 3 of these women were mia nois during their college years. The sponsors (not sure what else to call them) of these 3 women were 20 to 40 years older. One of these 3 also had a boyfriend her age on the side. Other than this one they all seemed to be in monogamous relationships with guys of similar ages.

All of these women started professional careers after college even the few who married early. None of the women who were mia nois stayed with their sponsors. Most of these women have dated or married Thai men close to their own age. Only one of this entire group ever dated a westerner when they were younger.

Now a number of years later and things have changed quite a bit. Over half of the marriages have ended in divorce. Very few are with their original partner. Only 2 women out of this group have any children. Most of them are dating or married to Thai men but no more than 5 years apart in age. Another woman is now dating a westerner but again he's no more than 5 years older. The exception which is most interesting is that 4 of these women are now dating or married to Thai men in their 40's.

How do we know all of this? We have hosted a number of dinner parties where our daughter has invited some of her friends. Most of the conversation during these dinners are about their boyfriends and gossip about the boyfriends of the women who are not present. These days there is a bit of joking about the women with older partners but it not only seems to be accepted but to me some of these women seem to be a bit jealous of the women with older partners.

Is this a trend? (referring to another TV thread) I admit this is a small sample of people but this group of women seems to be gravitating towards older men. The strange thing to me is that the men are all in their 40's. None are in their 30's or 50's. Is there some significance to the specific age range of these men? As these women mature are they becoming more pragmatic or wiser or what? Or does their gain in maturity make them more attractive to these older men? My wife and I have had several conversations about this. What is going on here?

We have met 3 of these men and they seem like nice guys to me and based on seeing these couples together all of them seem to be in love. However, these relationships do also seem to on solid ground. None of these relationships seem to be on rocky ground compared to the relationships these women had when they were younger.

Anyone else have a window into to Thai culture like this? Do you see anything similar? What sense do you make of this?

Grin

[thehelmsman]

One guy in the village had a wife 20 yrs. younger - He has a songtaw and works auto mechanic. Good guy, hard worker. She leaves him and daughter to do what?? Massage in Pattaya Man...feel bad for the guy.

[robblok]

Its so funny and people here will say what i write is a lie. Just got called by a close friend 26 years old an looking quite nice. After a short chat he told me about his latest girl she just paid some expensive stuff for him she is 27 and has an 66 year old German as a boyfriend he pays everything for her sends her to school and pays for a car and a massage shop and an allowance. He thinks its love she calls him her sponsor not her boyfriend. She calls my friend her boyfriend.

This is not the first girl he has had who had an older sponsor. It happens far more then older guys wish to acknowledge. Its not about strong or confident older guys its often about money and how they get it from them and then have fun with their giks.

Im sure it does not always happen but far more as most want to admit.

I have seen good age gap relations so sure it can work but many guys kid themselves.

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa app

No offense Rob but why would your friend knowingly fool around with another man's wife?

The old man might be a fool but your friend seems to be worse.

Actually i would do the same thing if offered a girl is nobodies possession just because he paid her does not mean he owns her. If you cant keep your woman satisfied she will look elsewhere its not the guys fault at all.

I am as bad as him as i had a gik that already had a guy (no real age gap just bad in bed). I had no qualms with it if i cant keep my woman happy / satisfied its my problem not the guy she offers it.

Woman are not cattle that you own and if they want something on the side your not fulfilling all her needs. Quite normal for woman who go with a guy for money and want some exciting guy to play with.

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[Shancloudy]

I'd prefer older man.. I was in a relationship with a guy the same age with me before but nothing happen. As in almost dead. Haha

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[meom]

Its so funny and people here will say what i write is a lie. Just got called by a close friend 26 years old an looking quite nice. After a short chat he told me about his latest girl she just paid some expensive stuff for him she is 27 and has an 66 year old German as a boyfriend he pays everything for her sends her to school and pays for a car and a massage shop and an allowance. He thinks its love she calls him her sponsor not her boyfriend. She calls my friend her boyfriend.

This is not the first girl he has had who had an older sponsor. It happens far more then older guys wish to acknowledge. Its not about strong or confident older guys its often about money and how they get it from them and then have fun with their giks.

Im sure it does not always happen but far more as most want to admit.

I have seen good age gap relations so sure it can work but many guys kid themselves.

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa app

No offense Rob but why would your friend knowingly fool around with another man's wife?

The old man might be a fool but your friend seems to be worse.

Actually i would do the same thing if offered a girl is nobodies possession just because he paid her does not mean he owns her. If you cant keep your woman satisfied she will look elsewhere its not the guys fault at all.

I am as bad as him as i had a gik that already had a guy (no real age gap just bad in bed). I had no qualms with it if i cant keep my woman happy / satisfied its my problem not the guy she offers it.

Woman are not cattle that you own and if they want something on the side your not fulfilling all her needs. Quite normal for woman who go with a guy for money and want some exciting guy to play with.

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa app

Ok fair enough.

I would not do it out of respect for the other guy.

Ok I don't know him but still it wouldn't feel right.

A bit like screwing your best friend's girl/wife.

[khunPer]

I have an interesting vantage point. My stepdaughter is in her 20's and we know most of her friends. So we are talking about a group of about 15 women in their 20's, all with college degrees from a well established university, none from a poor background and none from a rich background as far as I can tell. In fact we have known some of these women from before they were college age and we have met a number of their parents and families.

During their college years most of them were dating guys their own age, mostly fellow students. Some were still dating their boyfriends from before college. The interesting thing was that 3 of these women were mia nois during their college years. The sponsors (not sure what else to call them) of these 3 women were 20 to 40 years older. One of these 3 also had a boyfriend her age on the side. Other than this one they all seemed to be in monogamous relationships with guys of similar ages.

All of these women started professional careers after college even the few who married early. None of the women who were mia nois stayed with their sponsors. Most of these women have dated or married Thai men close to their own age. Only one of this entire group ever dated a westerner when they were younger.

Now a number of years later and things have changed quite a bit. Over half of the marriages have ended in divorce. Very few are with their original partner. Only 2 women out of this group have any children. Most of them are dating or married to Thai men but no more than 5 years apart in age. Another woman is now dating a westerner but again he's no more than 5 years older. The exception which is most interesting is that 4 of these women are now dating or married to Thai men in their 40's.

How do we know all of this? We have hosted a number of dinner parties where our daughter has invited some of her friends. Most of the conversation during these dinners are about their boyfriends and gossip about the boyfriends of the women who are not present. These days there is a bit of joking about the women with older partners but it not only seems to be accepted but to me some of these women seem to be a bit jealous of the women with older partners.

Is this a trend? (referring to another TV thread) I admit this is a small sample of people but this group of women seems to be gravitating towards older men. The strange thing to me is that the men are all in their 40's. None are in their 30's or 50's. Is there some significance to the specific age range of these men? As these women mature are they becoming more pragmatic or wiser or what? Or does their gain in maturity make them more attractive to these older men? My wife and I have had several conversations about this. What is going on here?

We have met 3 of these men and they seem like nice guys to me and based on seeing these couples together all of them seem to be in love. However, these relationships do also seem to on solid ground. None of these relationships seem to be on rocky ground compared to the relationships these women had when they were younger.

Anyone else have a window into to Thai culture like this? Do you see anything similar? What sense do you make of this?

Grin

Both make sense, the university “sponsors” or “sugar daddies”, and the “dream man” in his 40’ies – not married and no children; meaning available/trouble free (of previous marriage/relationship), no baggage to care for, presumably reached an age with good economy and not too wild (30 to young and “unpolished”, 50 too old and boring).

I know of quite a few (younger than 35, but older than mid 20’ies) “normal” hard working single Thai ladies, with that dream – a handsome, well dressed and polite farang man may even be a considered – so can be a common talked about wish and/or subject in female magazines.

[Prbkk]

Yes, in Japan the euphemism is "compensated dating". Sugar daddy, sponsor, benefactor...whatever. Money in exchange for sex. A simple commercial transaction. As for the old German being cuckolded by a younger guy? It's pretty clear the younger one is a scumbag....ok for his girlfriend to sleep with the old guy for money? Sounds like a pimp. Sordid.

Students in Thailand (presumably also other places) having a Sugar Daddy seems not to be unsual and the Sugar Daddy may well be an elderly Asian man.

Japan instantly sprung to mind.

[NeverSure]

I don't trust women of any culture and will never get married again. I've seen enough of Thailand and in particular Isaan to lose even more trust.

So, I'm in Buriram visiting a lady friend and everywhere we go I am approached by women asking if I can find them a farang. Poor, uneducated Isaan women who have only two chances to improve their lives and that's to go become a bar girl, or marry a farang. They see the few who have a farang and also a new house, car, etc. and they want the same. They don't want to go to Patts or maybe they've been there?

I'm later South of there in a village visiting another female friend and she's a school teacher. I visit the school. There is a Dutchman there who is in love with another 30's teacher he met on the internet and he visits on his vacation. He showers her with gifts. I think he helped her and her husband (yep) start a restaurant. Everyone in the school knows she's married and no one thinks it's all that bad, especially the "brother" who rakes in money from her scams. NO one will tell the Dutchman he's being scammed, not even my friend.

I can somewhat respect the poor uneducated farm gal who simply wants to improve her life, and her family's life, and she may make a good wife for an older farang. She is though putting her first dreams aside for something more practical. That's not necessarily bad, but it is what it is. For all I know she may be good and faithful and very much like her farang. Other village women may even wish they had the same. I don't know.

I do know that a lot of farangs have good long term relationships with their Thai wives and I salute that.

I much prefer a girlfriend where I can walk away unscathed if needed.

[robblok]

Its so funny and people here will say what i write is a lie. Just got called by a close friend 26 years old an looking quite nice. After a short chat he told me about his latest girl she just paid some expensive stuff for him she is 27 and has an 66 year old German as a boyfriend he pays everything for her sends her to school and pays for a car and a massage shop and an allowance. He thinks its love she calls him her sponsor not her boyfriend. She calls my friend her boyfriend.

This is not the first girl he has had who had an older sponsor. It happens far more then older guys wish to acknowledge. Its not about strong or confident older guys its often about money and how they get it from them and then have fun with their giks.

Im sure it does not always happen but far more as most want to admit.

I have seen good age gap relations so sure it can work but many guys kid themselves.

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa app

No offense Rob but why would your friend knowingly fool around with another man's wife?

The old man might be a fool but your friend seems to be worse.

Actually i would do the same thing if offered a girl is nobodies possession just because he paid her does not mean he owns her. If you cant keep your woman satisfied she will look elsewhere its not the guys fault at all.

I am as bad as him as i had a gik that already had a guy (no real age gap just bad in bed). I had no qualms with it if i cant keep my woman happy / satisfied its my problem not the guy she offers it.

Woman are not cattle that you own and if they want something on the side your not fulfilling all her needs. Quite normal for woman who go with a guy for money and want some exciting guy to play with.

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa app

Ok fair enough.

I would not do it out of respect for the other guy.

Ok I don't know him but still it wouldn't feel right.

A bit like screwing your best friend's girl/wife.

He and I never went out looking for it or knew before, but I would not screw a friends wife / gf. I would tell my friend his wife / gf is available if it happened.

Other guys not my problem, who knows maybe the guy is screwing around maybe the relation is ending. If the girl wants it and offers it and is hot why not if it was not me then someone else.

My point was more that plenty of old sponsors are being fooled by girls. They are so stupid to think they satisfy her but they dont they only financially satisfy her.

Of course there are genuine relations but they are certainly not a majority. For those guys thumbs up its normal to want younger, but that does not mean girls are lining up for it or that they think older guys are physically attractive, just like guys don't like old ladies.

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[thailiketoo]

Actually i would do the same thing if offered a girl is nobodies possession just because he paid her does not mean he owns her. If you cant keep your woman satisfied she will look elsewhere its not the guys fault at all.

I am as bad as him as i had a gik that already had a guy (no real age gap just bad in bed). I had no qualms with it if i cant keep my woman happy / satisfied its my problem not the guy she offers it.

Woman are not cattle that you own and if they want something on the side your not fulfilling all her needs. Quite normal for woman who go with a guy for money and want some exciting guy to play with.

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa app

Ok fair enough.

I would not do it out of respect for the other guy.

Ok I don't know him but still it wouldn't feel right.

A bit like screwing your best friend's girl/wife.

He and I never went out looking for it or knew before, but I would not screw a friends wife / gf. I would tell my friend his wife / gf is available if it happened.

Other guys not my problem, who knows maybe the guy is screwing around maybe the relation is ending. If the girl wants it and offers it and is hot why not if it was not me then someone else.

My point was more that plenty of old sponsors are being fooled by girls. They are so stupid to think they satisfy her but they dont they only financially satisfy her.

Of course there are genuine relations but they are certainly not a majority. For those guys thumbs up its normal to want younger, but that does not mean girls are lining up for it or that they think older guys are physically attractive, just like guys don't like old ladies.

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa app

Unless you are "all knowing" all you can say is, " in my opinion." I could say all of the problems are in young men working in other countries trying to keep a wife/GF in Thailand. My point is, it is easy for old men to stay in Thailand so there are very few old sponsors. Sponsors are usually young. Old guys don't need to troll the websites looking for phone love, they can move to Thailand for a small amount of money and enjoy life in the real world rather than internet lady dancing.

[FiftyTwo]

Is this a trend? (referring to another TV thread) I admit this is a small sample of people but this group of women seems to be gravitating towards older men. The strange thing to me is that the men are all in their 40's. None are in their 30's or 50's. Is there some significance to the specific age range of these men? As these women mature are they becoming more pragmatic or wiser or what? Or does their gain in maturity make them more attractive to these older men? My wife and I have had several conversations about this. What is going on here?

What's going on ...... they are no longer young enough to attract a man their own age is what's going on.

[Berkshire]

I have an interesting vantage point. My stepdaughter is in her 20's and we know most of her friends. So we are talking about a group of about 15 women in their 20's, all with college degrees from a well established university, none from a poor background and none from a rich background as far as I can tell. In fact we have known some of these women from before they were college age and we have met a number of their parents and families.

During their college years most of them were dating guys their own age, mostly fellow students. Some were still dating their boyfriends from before college. The interesting thing was that 3 of these women were mia nois during their college years. The sponsors (not sure what else to call them) of these 3 women were 20 to 40 years older. One of these 3 also had a boyfriend her age on the side. Other than this one they all seemed to be in monogamous relationships with guys of similar ages.

All of these women started professional careers after college even the few who married early. None of the women who were mia nois stayed with their sponsors. Most of these women have dated or married Thai men close to their own age. Only one of this entire group ever dated a westerner when they were younger.

Now a number of years later and things have changed quite a bit. Over half of the marriages have ended in divorce. Very few are with their original partner. Only 2 women out of this group have any children. Most of them are dating or married to Thai men but no more than 5 years apart in age. Another woman is now dating a westerner but again he's no more than 5 years older. The exception which is most interesting is that 4 of these women are now dating or married to Thai men in their 40's.

How do we know all of this? We have hosted a number of dinner parties where our daughter has invited some of her friends. Most of the conversation during these dinners are about their boyfriends and gossip about the boyfriends of the women who are not present. These days there is a bit of joking about the women with older partners but it not only seems to be accepted but to me some of these women seem to be a bit jealous of the women with older partners.

Is this a trend? (referring to another TV thread) I admit this is a small sample of people but this group of women seems to be gravitating towards older men. The strange thing to me is that the men are all in their 40's. None are in their 30's or 50's. Is there some significance to the specific age range of these men? As these women mature are they becoming more pragmatic or wiser or what? Or does their gain in maturity make them more attractive to these older men? My wife and I have had several conversations about this. What is going on here?

We have met 3 of these men and they seem like nice guys to me and based on seeing these couples together all of them seem to be in love. However, these relationships do also seem to on solid ground. None of these relationships seem to be on rocky ground compared to the relationships these women had when they were younger.

Anyone else have a window into to Thai culture like this? Do you see anything similar? What sense do you make of this?

Grin

Your story(s) make perfect sense. And it's consistent with what I've seen. Young Thai girls growing up in Thailand have their dream guy and it's almost always a Thai guy pretty close to their own age. You see that on TV and in the movies. This is pretty similar to their western counterparts. But the dream guy doesn't always work out.

Once they get past that and become more practical (read realistic), then an older guy may be the preferred option. Too bad it takes them a long time to figure this out.

[transam]

I don't trust women of any culture and will never get married again. I've seen enough of Thailand and in particular Isaan to lose even more trust.

So, I'm in Buriram visiting a lady friend and everywhere we go I am approached by women asking if I can find them a farang. Poor, uneducated Isaan women who have only two chances to improve their lives and that's to go become a bar girl, or marry a farang. They see the few who have a farang and also a new house, car, etc. and they want the same. They don't want to go to Patts or maybe they've been there?

I'm later South of there in a village visiting another female friend and she's a school teacher. I visit the school. There is a Dutchman there who is in love with another 30's teacher he met on the internet and he visits on his vacation. He showers her with gifts. I think he helped her and her husband (yep) start a restaurant. Everyone in the school knows she's married and no one thinks it's all that bad, especially the "brother" who rakes in money from her scams. NO one will tell the Dutchman he's being scammed, not even my friend.

I can somewhat respect the poor uneducated farm gal who simply wants to improve her life, and her family's life, and she may make a good wife for an older farang. She is though putting her first dreams aside for something more practical. That's not necessarily bad, but it is what it is. For all I know she may be good and faithful and very much like her farang. Other village women may even wish they had the same. I don't know.

I do know that a lot of farangs have good long term relationships with their Thai wives and I salute that.

I much prefer a girlfriend where I can walk away unscathed if needed.

I know of many similar stories, and your right that folk do not see a wrong in ripping another guy off for cash, my wifes daughter (24) has recently ripped off a nice hard working Thai guy . Long story, but I do now ignore the lady, to the displeasure of Mrs.Trans..I cannot abide thieves.

[oogster8]

Ive yet to see a thai girl (young) who is checking out old guys on her iphone............lol.