Soutpeel Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 I woiuld have gotten drunk, stripped off naked and sang a mor lum in the backyard while it was raining. Now that would have left them dazed and confused. Yeap do something to shock em 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aTomsLife Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 Neeranam - you have to accept that we English speakers enjoy the luxury of having the international language. We find it normal for foreigners of all races to speak English. You and I would not be in the least surprised to hear an Eskimo (I know that's now a politically incorrect term now, but I'm old school), speak English. But I'd suggest to you that we would both be a little surprised to hear an Eskimo speak Thai. A Thai would be no more shocked at hearing an Eskimo speak Thai as hearing you speak Thai. Probably less so, because an Eskimo does look slightly Asian. Note: Absolutely no racial slurs are implied in the above. Yes, I agree with your observations. I do understand WHY this happens. The main question is what do we do when it happens. Smile and say nothing? I think you handled the quip about you lighting the BBQ just fine. With regard to the remarks concerning your ability to speak Thai, I agree with the others: It should come as no surprise that they're surprised. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mauGR1 Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 Neeranam - you have to accept that we English speakers enjoy the luxury of having the international language. We find it normal for foreigners of all races to speak English. You and I would not be in the least surprised to hear an Eskimo (I know that's now a politically incorrect term now, but I'm old school), speak English. But I'd suggest to you that we would both be a little surprised to hear an Eskimo speak Thai. A Thai would be no more shocked at hearing an Eskimo speak Thai as hearing you speak Thai. Probably less so, because an Eskimo does look slightly Asian. Note: Absolutely no racial slurs are implied in the above. Yes, I agree with your observations. I do understand WHY this happens. The main question is what do we do when it happens. Smile and say nothing? Although understanding your frustration, smile and say nothing is the best thing to do IMHO.. ... And don't invite the rude guys at your home again. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 Unbelievable, after all the crap we get on this forum from the poor little dears who are deeply offended when called Farang...... A Thai lady goes to the trouble of asking the name of a Farang, with, one might expect, the intention of using it...... What does she get, the farang suggesting she should have asked him and not his wife because he speaks Thai! Then when the lady comments that he speaks Thai, he takes offence! Could you not have joined the conversation by repeating your name enquiring the same from her! No bloody wonder farangs have such a piss poor reputation! Do you not realise the starting point of a good party is to ensure people feel relaxed when they first arrive as they are usually a little nervous? This woman certainly wasn't nervous, she was rude - she was acting as if I weren't there. Once she knew I could speak Thai, she continued talking about me and the other foreigners there. If you don't like being a topic of conversation then you really should not be where you are hosting parties, and your attitude is merely compounding the problem, like the poster above suggests, you have learnt Thai and appear to not know how to deal with the reaction when the Thai find this unusual, which of course it is. Add to this that my wife does not like me to cook if we have guests (in her mind It would not make her look good, I accept her decision) So again you cooking could also be construed as strange behaviour! It would appear your actions would make you a talking point and you cannot understand why....I hope I have managed to enlighten you a little 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soutpeel Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 On the other hand I was dragged into a Thai party 2 nights ago as I was walking past, knew no one there, I waiied, had a laugh, was very humble of myself, praised them, praised their food and drink, Thais as a people and Thailand as a country when asked. All very happy and simple. Treat them like a little five year old that has drawn a picture and wants to praised about it. So in reply to: Would you laugh about it or tell them to get the **** out your house? I would have laughed and said my Thai language skills are so bad. Their English skills are so good. And would they like some crayons and paper while I eat and drink. I would have told they are sitting at the children's table for duration of evening and as such they are not old enough to be served alcohol 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Gsxrnz Posted January 1, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted January 1, 2014 Neeranam - you have to accept that we English speakers enjoy the luxury of having the international language. We find it normal for foreigners of all races to speak English. You and I would not be in the least surprised to hear an Eskimo (I know that's now a politically incorrect term now, but I'm old school), speak English. But I'd suggest to you that we would both be a little surprised to hear an Eskimo speak Thai. A Thai would be no more shocked at hearing an Eskimo speak Thai as hearing you speak Thai. Probably less so, because an Eskimo does look slightly Asian. Note: Absolutely no racial slurs are implied in the above. Yes, I agree with your observations. I do understand WHY this happens. The main question is what do we do when it happens. Smile and say nothing? Smile and talk to them so they actually "get" that you know more than the standard 10 phrases that most Europeans know. Tell them your name is Kuhn John. If you hear yourself being referred to in the 3rd person farang, politely remind them of your title and name. Obviously accept the Pi, Loong, or whatever. Be careful that you understand how they use farang - I don't find it offensive in itself, unless I'm referred to as farang when my name or title should be used instead. If they said something like "more farang are visiting Thailand these days", no problem. Play some games - if they ask your wife to ask you something, answer in English and let her translate. Then, in Thai, ask your wife three questions about the guest, and watch them cringe. The clever ones catch on and talk to you directly. The stupid ones answer your wife....funny as a fight!! 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 Neeranam - you have to accept that we English speakers enjoy the luxury of having the international language. We find it normal for foreigners of all races to speak English. You and I would not be in the least surprised to hear an Eskimo (I know that's now a politically incorrect term now, but I'm old school), speak English. But I'd suggest to you that we would both be a little surprised to hear an Eskimo speak Thai. A Thai would be no more shocked at hearing an Eskimo speak Thai as hearing you speak Thai. Probably less so, because an Eskimo does look slightly Asian. Note: Absolutely no racial slurs are implied in the above. Yes, I agree with your observations. I do understand WHY this happens. The main question is what do we do when it happens. Smile and say nothing? Did you go over and make conversation, crack a few jokes, make them laugh, show that the farang are not just miserable kitchen maids? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoshowJones Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 I am an American living in Thailand....my neighbor is an Englishman. When I bought the property next to him ... I went by to introduce myself and say "Hi"........his FIRST words to me were "I hear your a man not to be Trusted" So you see, rudeness spans the world ....and ignorance is not limited to Thai's PS ...I haven't spoken to the ignorant rude Englishman since then (3 years) I bet he comes from Yorkshire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mogandave Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 Live and let Live... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neeranam Posted January 1, 2014 Author Share Posted January 1, 2014 Neeranam - you have to accept that we English speakers enjoy the luxury of having the international language. We find it normal for foreigners of all races to speak English. You and I would not be in the least surprised to hear an Eskimo (I know that's now a politically incorrect term now, but I'm old school), speak English. But I'd suggest to you that we would both be a little surprised to hear an Eskimo speak Thai. A Thai would be no more shocked at hearing an Eskimo speak Thai as hearing you speak Thai. Probably less so, because an Eskimo does look slightly Asian. Note: Absolutely no racial slurs are implied in the above. Yes, I agree with your observations. I do understand WHY this happens. The main question is what do we do when it happens. Smile and say nothing? I think you handled the quip about you lighting the BBQ just fine. With regard to the remarks concerning your ability to speak Thai, I agree with the others: It should come as no surprise that they're surprised. Yeah, thanks, maybe I should accept that they'll always be surprised. But when they can see my kids are half Thai and my wife is Thai it's bizarre that they can't imagine that I've been here a while. Incidentally, my American buddy at the party speaks fluent Thai and he was also amused and shocked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterSmiles Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 So the OP invited Thai people who didn't know his name are knew he could speak Thai. How were the invitees handpicked ? By lottery I assume. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoshowJones Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 I am an American living in Thailand....my neighbor is an Englishman. When I bought the property next to him ... I went by to introduce myself and say "Hi"........his FIRST words to me were "I hear your a man not to be Trusted" Not attempting to hijack this thread, but there must be more to this story. What had he heard about you? There won't be more to the story if he comes from Yorkshire. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Sheryl Posted January 1, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted January 1, 2014 I have found that the Thai laugh is very much like the Thai smile, with more than one meaning. To feel offended or not, is really up to the individual. Exactly. Like the smile, it often covers up nervousness. OP keep in mind that shouting and otherwise showing obvious anger is pretty taboo in Thailand and, from a Thai point of view, causes you to lose face....and to seem less, not more, of a civilized person to them. Much better to keep your poise, smile (remember in Thailand a smile has many meanings) and then say something like "thamai mai supob?" (why so rude?) but in a pleasant tone and smiling. It will make your point much more effectively. And whenever you are talked about, either reply directly yourself to the question or else again ask them why they are being so rude as to talk in front of you like this? You could even turn to another Thai and, indicating the culprit, say "Khon Thai nee mai supob mak" But say it pleasantly and with a smile. In Thailand, no-one mistakes a pleasant tone of voice and a smile to mean you aren't seriously offended. It just means you are in control of yourself and hence worthy of respect. Whereas shouting means the opposite. Thais have a lot of stereotypes and misperceptions about foreigners and these only get dispelled when replaced by first hand experience, sounds like you may have been the first foreigner they actually met. Personally I would cut a little slack the first time around and then start politely but firmly intervening along the lines above on subsequent contacts. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1ma Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 You and I would not be in the least surprised to hear an Eskimo (I know that's now a politically incorrect term now, but I'm old school) It is? Damn, I must have missed the latest edition of 2014 PC Nonsense for Everyday Blandness and Obedience. The postman is a Thai, so he probably lost it or stole it en route. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shancloudy Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 Relax they're just happy because you can speak thai language and can eat thai food. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Briggsy Posted January 1, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted January 1, 2014 Neeranam - you have to accept that we English speakers enjoy the luxury of having the international language. We find it normal for foreigners of all races to speak English. You and I would not be in the least surprised to hear an Eskimo (I know that's now a politically incorrect term now, but I'm old school), speak English. But I'd suggest to you that we would both be a little surprised to hear an Eskimo speak Thai. A Thai would be no more shocked at hearing an Eskimo speak Thai as hearing you speak Thai. Probably less so, because an Eskimo does look slightly Asian. Note: Absolutely no racial slurs are implied in the above. Yes, I agree with your observations. I do understand WHY this happens. The main question is what do we do when it happens. Smile and say nothing? Good point. When somebody is being rude in the manner you described, you might like to consider the following ideas. Try to instil in your wife the practice of saying, "Ask him yourself," if you are present or not revealing every single detail of your life if you are not. Always ask Thais their names. It for some reason freaks at least 50% of them out, personalises the conversation so there is slightly more chance of them regarding you as an individual rather than just the farang and increases the chance of them not giving a running commentary on what you're doing along the lines of, "The farang is lighting the barbecue, the farang is OOOHHH eating something with chilli in it, the farang......" Feel free to completely ignore their nosy questions, and/or give very vague answers. Always consider asking them what their job is. And try to pin them down if their answer is wishy washy. This is a good stop practice to break their stride. If their behaviour is boorish, put them down as a boor. Don't call them out on it. They are not going to change. Accept that a sizeable number will not be able to get past the fact that you are a different race. It is way way way too much for them and they cannot ignore it even for a second. Ensure you lock the house or the most inquisitive will be inspecting it, without asking, to see how the farang's house differs from theirs. If all else fails, ask to borrow some money. 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neeranam Posted January 1, 2014 Author Share Posted January 1, 2014 Neeranam - you have to accept that we English speakers enjoy the luxury of having the international language. We find it normal for foreigners of all races to speak English. You and I would not be in the least surprised to hear an Eskimo (I know that's now a politically incorrect term now, but I'm old school), speak English. But I'd suggest to you that we would both be a little surprised to hear an Eskimo speak Thai. A Thai would be no more shocked at hearing an Eskimo speak Thai as hearing you speak Thai. Probably less so, because an Eskimo does look slightly Asian. Note: Absolutely no racial slurs are implied in the above. Yes, I agree with your observations. I do understand WHY this happens. The main question is what do we do when it happens. Smile and say nothing? Did you go over and make conversation, crack a few jokes, make them laugh, show that the farang are not just miserable kitchen maids? No I didn't. I couldn't care what she thought. Kitchen maid? Are you suggesting that after someone is rude to me, to be their entertainer? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neeranam Posted January 1, 2014 Author Share Posted January 1, 2014 So the OP invited Thai people who didn't know his name are knew he could speak Thai. How were the invitees handpicked ? By lottery I assume. My wife. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1ma Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 (edited) Relax they're just happy because you can speak thai language and can eat thai food. It doesn't take much to make some farang furious. . You could even turn to another Thai and, indicating the culprit, say "Khon Thai nee mai supob mak" Or "Mun nee mai supob mak", to add a bit of spiciness to the evening. Edited January 1, 2014 by 1ma Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 Neeranam - you have to accept that we English speakers enjoy the luxury of having the international language. We find it normal for foreigners of all races to speak English. You and I would not be in the least surprised to hear an Eskimo (I know that's now a politically incorrect term now, but I'm old school), speak English. But I'd suggest to you that we would both be a little surprised to hear an Eskimo speak Thai. A Thai would be no more shocked at hearing an Eskimo speak Thai as hearing you speak Thai. Probably less so, because an Eskimo does look slightly Asian. Note: Absolutely no racial slurs are implied in the above. Yes, I agree with your observations. I do understand WHY this happens. The main question is what do we do when it happens. Smile and say nothing? Did you go over and make conversation, crack a few jokes, make them laugh, show that the farang are not just miserable kitchen maids? No I didn't. I couldn't care what she thought. Kitchen maid?Are you suggesting that after someone is rude to me, to be their entertainer? A good party host continually circulates and encourages conversation with all guests, this is your opportunity to charm and impress, especially with your Thai language skills. I occasionally do a couple of card tricks, blows them away you know, magic powers and all that really gets 'em talking, but then I don't mind being a topic of conversation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arlissmichaels Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 Unbelievable, after all the crap we get on this forum from the poor little dears who are deeply offended when called Farang...... A Thai lady goes to the trouble of asking the name of a Farang, with, one might expect, the intention of using it...... What does she get, the farang suggesting she should have asked him and not his wife because he speaks Thai! Then when the lady comments that he speaks Thai, he takes offence! Could you not have joined the conversation by repeating your name enquiring the same from her! No bloody wonder farangs have such a piss poor reputation! Do you not realise the starting point of a good party is to ensure people feel relaxed when they first arrive as they are usually a little nervous? This woman certainly wasn't nervous, she was rude - she was acting as if I weren't there. Once she knew I could speak Thai, she continued talking about me and the other foreigners there. I would presume the big black line has gone through her name for any future invites Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post buckoy Posted January 1, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted January 1, 2014 I hear you are not to be trusted = open ended question You are not to be trusted = accusation 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neeranam Posted January 1, 2014 Author Share Posted January 1, 2014 Relax they're just happy because you can speak thai language and can eat thai food. It doesn't take much to make some farang furious. . You could even turn to another Thai and, indicating the culprit, say "Khon Thai nee mai supob mak" Or "Mun nee mai supob mak", to add a bit of spiciness to the evening. I have used mun before after they have used it. I assume you mean Supap, never seen it transcribed as supob before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Pinkie Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 (edited) Would you laugh about it or tell them to get the **** out your house? to tell the truth there wouldnt have been an invite in the first place but i'm not pandering to a thai wife so not in your situation. good high permanent inviolable fences make good neighbors. Edited January 1, 2014 by Big Pinkie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loptr Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 (edited) Neeranam - you have to accept that we English speakers enjoy the luxury of having the international language. We find it normal for foreigners of all races to speak English. You and I would not be in the least surprised to hear an Eskimo (I know that's now a politically incorrect term now, but I'm old school), speak English. But I'd suggest to you that we would both be a little surprised to hear an Eskimo speak Thai. A Thai would be no more shocked at hearing an Eskimo speak Thai as hearing you speak Thai. Probably less so, because an Eskimo does look slightly Asian. Note: Absolutely no racial slurs are implied in the above. Yes, I agree with your observations. I do understand WHY this happens. The main question is what do we do when it happens. Smile and say nothing? Having been in a similar situation in a Spanish speaking country years ago, I found the best way to handle situations like this is to slightly embarrass the person by saying something similar to this in their language, "Yes, I can speak XXXXX and I am house trained too"... When said with a smile it appears to be a joke, but at the same time puts the person on notice that you don't appreciate the stereotype. Edited January 1, 2014 by Loptr 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
namdocmai Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 Get over it dude, Thai are not good in communicating and always think they are funny. Many of them don't have good social skills and they can't help that. That's how they are raised. I see children growing up around me who don't have any friends at all, always sit with grandma and grandpa in the house and never go out. I had a great newyear party with Thai and farang and they spoke perfect english. Ones that can't speak proper english have never been abroad and have a narrow mind. They also make fun when i speak thai to them, i don't make fun of their crappy english though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lanng khao Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 I had a New Years/House Warming Party and invited some neighbours for a BBQ and drinks. The first neighbour walked in waiing me and asked my wife what my name was. I shouted, "ask me yourself". She said,"the farang can speak Thai hee hee". I said nothing much more to this one and put it down to ignorance. An hour later another couple came when I was trying to light the bbq and introduced themselves and waiied and then the guy laughed and said, "look a farang lighting a BBQ". This time I was pissed and said sternly, "I don't see anything funny about that". Someone also commented on the fact that I was eating something spicey. I've never been to an Asian person's party(that I didn't know) in my country but imagine they would be pretty upset if I went in saying "the Asian can speak English etc" and laugh about it. Or "look the Asian/Thai is drinking whisky" I suppose it's a case of Thailand being 50 years behind the rest of the world but I'm sure even then it would be rude to go to someones house for a party and laugh at them for speaking the local language. Would you laugh about it or tell them to get the **** out your house? jai yen jai yen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
falkan Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 life in the sticks is good i hear.. hahahah.. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thai at Heart Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 If I have heard it once, I've heard it 1000 times. And the giggle. Aaaaaarrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WitawatWatawit Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 This was in the OP's own house so I do have a smidgeon of sympathy for him. Thai etiquette like anywhere else dictates that you show some respect for the home owner. I have to admit that the first time it happened to me I was quite put out, thinking I was being treated like an object of curiosity in my own home. But after discussing it with some Thai colleagues, I took their advice the next time and just slowly turned my back on the people and walked away and never even looked at them again or react to anything involving them, and then pointedly moved away when they said their goodbyes. It probably reinforced their belief about the strangeness of foreigners, of course. The wife wasn't happy, but it was better than me getting upset over people who ultimately are irrelevant and will likely never play any part in my life. The other side of the coin is that most people who have been to my house (houses) have been fine, sometimes brilliant - I prefer to think about them and the good times. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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