Should You Pay a Thai Girlfriend to Leave your Home?

[Frank James]

If she was any good to you at all, I think it's right to give her some walking away money, and a big thank you for putting up with your BS.

That's what a man would do. As opposed to a lot of of the self-satisfied smug 'players' whose words we read on here every day.

[Sayonarax]

Society really needs to starting to teaching civil and common law in schools..

And maybe a little common sense.

[little mary sunshine]

First of all, of you'r over 55 and she is a bar girl in her 20's all she wants is money to begin with.

It would depend on why she is leaving...You found her cheating with her Thai boyfriend when she

went home to visit mama ? Hit the road !!! If you have been together for a couple of years and

things are just not working out....Make sure she takes with her everything she brought, any clothes

you bought for her, and give her 10K B......better than getting your car tires slashed and paying

for a new paint job or motorbike....Peace of mind....small price to pay......

[sirchai]

never pay...never .....never...never....even less if it is policeman or government staff where ever.

people paying are increasing the coruption it is a big big mistake.

myself since i live in thailand i always refuse to pay any kind of payment under the table or tip .i never had any problem with that.

the only thing that can happen is that they are going to call you perhaps tightwad or skinflint (in thai: คนขี้ตืด-kiniao)

good day and good night

Thanks for the Thai lesson, dude. Honestly, you seem to suffer of a huge identify problem. Never pay, even less for cops, or government staff?

So you never give a tip, interesting. You must live a freaking boring life and I'd assume that you wouldn't buy me a beer after I'd bought you ten boxes,..

I'm just wondering what Thai citizens think, when reading your "unprofessional and questionable post".

Some "problems" are only to fix with money,tips are even a must in other countries as a sign of appreciation.

I always give a tip to in my favorite restaurant, always a tip when I get my car fixed, always give some change to people who're suffering.

And you know what? I always get a good service and the money doesn't hurt me. People respect me for who/what I am.

You never had a problem not giving a tip, or something similar, as Thais wouldn't tell you that you're a foreigner, who shouldn't be in this country. -

[bander]

My ex came with a small suitcase and had to drive twice with a packed Vios moving out after 2 years.

In less than 3 hours she disappeared without a trace ;-) That was just after she accused me of not paying for sex for 2 years

Same old story: "you never buy anything for me, I know you not love me" . But they got a brand new car, iphone, Honda wave, fashion clothes, 100 pair of shoes, 10 bath gold, buffaloes in the village... and you are just a kee neeo falang who never buy anything for her

[jacksam]

You have missed the entire meaning of the op post. Geez

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[sam sen]

A sage once told me that he didn't pay Thai hookers to sleep with him. He paid them to do away in the morning without giving him any trouble.

If you ignore this simple advice, you should not be surprised if you end up being presented with a sizeable tab when it is all over.

i believe it was warren beatty or richard gere who first said that...

[jacksam]

First of all, of you'r over 55 and she is a bar girl in her 20's all she wants is money to begin with.

It would depend on why she is leaving...You found her cheating with her Thai boyfriend when she

went home to visit mama ? Hit the road !!! If you have been together for a couple of years and

things are just not working out....Make sure she takes with her everything she brought, any clothes

you bought for her, and give her 10K B......better than getting your car tires slashed and paying

for a new paint job or motorbike....Peace of mind....small price to pay......

10k ?? That's a bit thin....cheap charlie. F.M.D that's $300. I spend that in a w/end in Au. Are you for real

Sent from my i-mobile IQ 9A using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[jacksam]

What's going on here. Many posts on many topics get off the topic. Fact is this op lived with this lady for some time. Stop calling them bar chicks and cattle. Can't stand the fire or what to complain about a few bucks.....go back to homeland. .live here try and understand it here. No one from Au at very least sells sunglasses for stuff all or works in construction for 300baht/day. Strange how the so so lucky can be so pompous

Sent from my i-mobile IQ 9A using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[sirchai]

My ex came with a small suitcase and had to drive twice with a packed Vios moving out after 2 years.

In less than 3 hours she disappeared without a trace ;-) That was just after she accused me of not paying for sex for 2 years

Same old story: "you never buy anything for me, I know you not love me" . But they got a brand new car, iphone, Honda wave, fashion clothes, 100 pair of shoes, 10 bath gold, buffaloes in the village... and you are just a kee neeo falang who never buy anything for her

There's always a "giver" and a "taker", right? I wouldn't even like to know how many guys who're posting here are still paying good money to a "bad" woman somewhere in another country, just because you married her.

Or how many guys had left Europe, America, Australia,,Ok because they got soooooooo ripped off by wives, stupid laws and other nonsense.

Nobody in Thailand tells you that you have to buy something for your wife/gf,etc....nor does anybody tell you to buy her gold, pay for her sick mom/dad/ gick

Adults, wherever they come from should have a healthy "common sense". But some guys seem to have left their brains at the airport, or never had one.

Why would I buy a cow, if I only want to drink a glass of milk? Buddha, please give us the right insight.-

[Tycoon]

Goes like this, never get involved with people in this class.

I've broken with 2 now and still on good terms and catch up every now and then.

Sleep with dogs you'll wake up with fleas

[Water Buffalo]

I think we have to remember exactly what the question is.

Should you pay a Thai girlfriend to leave your home? My answer: No

However many people here are trying to answer the following question:

Should you give your ex some money after a normal break up? My answer: Sure, if you can afford to give her something.

It is not about being a man or doing the right thing by a woman. We are are talking about a woman trying to extort money from you. Refusing to leave your home, unless you give her cash. This type of person doesn't deserve 25 satang.

Yes yes, we know "if you lay with dogs you wake with fleas" as someone pointed out. But then what do you do? Shake the fleas off? or let them bite you some more?

[quiuvo]

Mario: As usual you are the voice of reason, thanks. In one case the woman demanded a high amount (at least 100K) and she had contributed nothing of financial value. When the guy refused she trashed his bike and apt and then physically attacked him. He then went to the tourist police (I took the report for the TP) who tried to negotiate but she wanted the money. The TP then advised them to go to the Royal Police. I think that some Thai women look at sex as a commodity so they performed it say 100x and could have made 1,000B each time so now want the 100K. I'm afraid mine would make very little based on that logic.

Mario, could we move this to the general forum to get more responses?

Moderators move the topics to their whim, dictators they are. I copied this. Oh , I was never asked if they could move a topic, they just did.

I just increased my gf allowance and people said I was crazy or similar things. Well OP you friend is crazier if friend their is.

[quiuvo]

My ex came with a small suitcase and had to drive twice with a packed Vios moving out after 2 years.

In less than 3 hours she disappeared without a trace ;-) That was just after she accused me of not paying for sex for 2 years

Same old story: "you never buy anything for me, I know you not love me" . But they got a brand new car, iphone, Honda wave, fashion clothes, 100 pair of shoes, 10 bath gold, buffaloes in the village... and you are just a kee neeo falang who never buy anything for her

There's always a "giver" and a "taker", right? I wouldn't even like to know how many guys who're posting here are still paying good money to a "bad" woman somewhere in another country, just because you married her.

Or how many guys had left Europe, America, Australia,,Ok because they got soooooooo ripped off by wives, stupid laws and other nonsense.

Nobody in Thailand tells you that you have to buy something for your wife/gf,etc....nor does anybody tell you to buy her gold, pay for her sick mom/dad/ gick

Adults, wherever they come from should have a healthy "common sense". But some guys seem to have left their brains at the airport, or never had one.

Why would I buy a cow, if I only want to drink a glass of milk? Buddha, please give us the right insight.-

I would pay her about 20,000 to leave me alone. I'm cheap since I only pay 13,000 to my live in xxx. If you/friend don't pay then the police will get a piece of that money too so you will need a bigger pie. Experienced second hand like you.

[quiuvo]

Umm, I have only been here long. In my 50,s with the younger gf for a year now. Just my feelings but if I walk away I would at very least give her some baht to "tide her over"

Not sure how much but at very least a few months rent and money to live on. I guess that's at minimum50k. As usual to each their own, but I see the so called rip off by Thai women as a two way street. Many old blokes like my age simply change women like they trade in a car in farangland.

Even some posts here talk about how to "cut your losses" when you want to split and kids involved. Man up.

I lived in USA for 50 plus and here two plus. I man up dude. We must cut our loss bz sometimes they are big losses. Yes, give her money, even though I think he was supporting her all along! But don't go to jail or pay more for this. Now we can get this post rolling , maybe

[atyclb]

never pay...never .....never...never....even less if it is policeman or government staff where ever.

people paying are increasing the coruption it is a big big mistake.

myself since i live in thailand i always refuse to pay any kind of payment under the table or tip .i never had any problem with that.

the only thing that can happen is that they are going to call you perhaps tightwad or skinflint (in thai: คนขี้ตืด-kiniao)

good day and good night

You wrote kohn key dtheuud same meaning but not niaw as you wrote in english

[atyclb]

Umm, I have only been here long. In my 50,s with the younger gf for a year now. Just my feelings but if I walk away I would at very least give her some baht to "tide her over"

Not sure how much but at very least a few months rent and money to live on. I guess that's at minimum50k. As usual to each their own, but I see the so called rip off by Thai women as a two way street. Many old blokes like my age simply change women like they trade in a car in farangland.

Even some posts here talk about how to "cut your losses" when you want to split and kids involved. Man up.

If you have a live in "pay to play" girlfriend and she gets a salary and or fringe benefits, gifts, etc etc and one or the other decides to call it quits perhaps a far reaching rationalization would be "severance pay"

Besides the salary and benefits was there not the reality that she likely benefited from living in a very upscale place? Typically a roommate shares rent and living expenses. Sorry if i seem cold and callous and business like but many of the gals are there for 'business reasons"

I've said this before, better to get a dog as the dog will give you unconditional love and affection, loyalty, companionship and never sh..t on you.

The other option is to locate another lonely dick, tom or harry to take her off your hands.Too bad tv doesn't have a marketplace forum.

[BudRight]

The 'man up' thing is not really an argument. You could just as easily say 'man up and don't pay' as 'man up and pay.'

As far as actual options;

1. Make yourself hard to find. That is, move and change jobs.

2. Make it harder to pursue the blackmail than leave you alone. This is the 'blackmail her back option.' Get creative, and remember no one will give you a prize for being a nice guy.

[GOLDBUGGY]

Good Question!

On this subject I think you have received some good advice already and it appears obvious that legally you are under no obligation to give her anything. Which you knew. So I think what you are looking for is advice from other who came across this same situation and how they handled it. With a preference to how they handled it with no fuss or bother from her later.

Well, this never happened to me here yet so I can't offer much advice. But you did make me think about it for myself, and how I would handle it if it was me, which I can give you my 2 cents worth. I always try to be Fare in all my dealings with people. I read from people how you should treat this, like all she was to you was a Business Partner, who she should only take out of the business what she put into it financially. But I never view my relationship with any women as a Business Arrangement, which I doubt you do to.

So a lot depends only on the type of relationship you had with this woman. How long you were with her? How she treated you during this time. If you gave her a monthly allowance or not. Did she take care of you? How much lost income did she lose looking after you? How she feels about you today? How much money can you afford if she is worthy of it? How you feel about her today?

Sure! You might be able to just change the locks on the doors and have her suitcase outside the door with a note, and bus fair home, and get away with that. But you may not get away from it that easy either. No body here knows her, so can't say for sure what she will do next. But they do know of Thai Women and how angry they can be when they want to be.

But what is for sure is that if you are Fare with her now, for all the years she lost and spent with you, and is worthy, that after all the tears are gone she will know that, and so will you.

But Up-to-you!

Good Luck!

[GOLDBUGGY]

When I first came to Thailand ten years ago I met several women who wanted to live with me. I went to a Thai lawyer and asked him about "common law marriage" and a woman's rights to my money/property if we were not married. His quick answer was that a Thai woman has zero rights to your property or other assets, no matter how many years she lives with you and/or how many children you father with her, as long as you don't legally marry her.

When I first came to Thailand, about 24 years ago, I had no idea about Pattaya, where I'd met several women who wanted only my best. My money.

Of course, they like to live with you, as you seem to be one of the naive guys who think you can buy love.You buy them food, clothes, some money for mom's sick buffaloes, brother's various accidents where a lot of farlang money is needed.

I never went to see a lawyer,as I've got balls to deal with certain situations. You can't even call them girl friends, as you're paying for all. Those woman,different to other countries offer a "one stop full service."

There're several threads about books you should read. They're all true. Grow up and don't spend money for a lawyer.

Time to say goodbye, if you can't say it, page me and I'll tell her in Thai to piss off. Sorry, for being so straight, but honest with you, might be better than some bla bla.

Should You Pay a Thai Girlfriend to Leave your Home?

Should you pay a German/American/English girlfriend to leave your home?-

Your post is really sad!

To live here 24 years and not have one serious loving and meaningful relationship. Where you spend all your time with drinking and Bar Girls and yet expect them to love you for just you, and not for the money they earn from their profession. To have to gain knowledge from some book on Thailand when you lived here so long? I think it is you who is nieve here, and not him.

No wonder you are so bitter and angry.

[Rajab Al Zarahni]

If she has enjoyed the benefit of a sexual relationship with you then I would always insist on a payment before permitting her to leave.

[quiuvo]

If she has enjoyed the benefit of a sexual relationship with you then I would always insist on a payment before permitting her to leave.

A payment by her to OP I'm thinking.

[GOLDBUGGY]

The 'man up' thing is not really an argument. You could just as easily say 'man up and don't pay' as 'man up and pay.'

As far as actual options;

1. Make yourself hard to find. That is, move and change jobs.

2. Make it harder to pursue the blackmail than leave you alone. This is the 'blackmail her back option.' Get creative, and remember no one will give you a prize for being a nice guy.

There was the answer I was looking for!

Run and hide the rest of your life so she can't find you. Sell your house, for half price, and assured of a quick sale. Otherwise you may find it spray painted with "Cheap Charlie" written all over it. Have a Bar Girl hold your Motor Bike for you, until you return in a year or so. Don't renew your Visa and Overstay as she can never find you through Immigration that way. Or her Brother-in-law or Cousin Lawyer. Learn to live in the Juggle, which is the last place she would ever look for you. Sell drugs on the side to support yourself through those tough times. These are all creative ways to still live her and yet avoid her. So be a Real Man! Stand up to her! Don't give her a cent! That will teach her the lesson she needs to learn from a Real Man!.

Or be Fare and show some compassion and help her out for the years she spent with you, and perhaps dedicated her life to yours.

Again! Up-to-you!

[quiuvo]

Wym where are you? Sleeping? No, no, you can't reach 2,000 posts in two months if you slack off. Plus OP wants help here, should man pay lady to get out of relationship ?

Moderators, there is no limit on posts per day, week, month? You told me otherwise . Why?

[tsigane]

never pay...never .....never...never....even less if it is policeman or government staff where ever.

people paying are increasing the coruption it is a big big mistake.

myself since i live in thailand i always refuse to pay any kind of payment under the table or tip .i never had any problem with that.

the only thing that can happen is that they are going to call you perhaps tightwad or skinflint (in thai: คนขี้ตืด-kiniao)

good day and good night

Thanks for the Thai lesson, dude. Honestly, you seem to suffer of a huge identify problem. Never pay, even less for cops, or government staff?

So you never give a tip, interesting. You must live a freaking boring life and I'd assume that you wouldn't buy me a beer after I'd bought you ten boxes,..

I'm just wondering what Thai citizens think, when reading your "unprofessional and questionable post".

Some "problems" are only to fix with money,tips are even a must in other countries as a sign of appreciation.

I always give a tip to in my favorite restaurant, always a tip when I get my car fixed, always give some change to people who're suffering.

And you know what? I always get a good service and the money doesn't hurt me. People respect me for who/what I am.

You never had a problem not giving a tip, or something similar, as Thais wouldn't tell you that you're a foreigner, who shouldn't be in this country. -

Vinvent did not say anything about buying beer for friends or tipping, he simply said he thought t was ridiculous to pay someone to pretend

to love you or to leave after a break up or to bribe someone to do his/her job.

Tipping is (was) not a custom in Thai or any other Asian culture. Actually, people who take pride in their work will be offended by a tip (try tipping in Japan).

Even in the west, where tipping is used as an excuse for passing owner's cost onto a customer, one is supposed to tip only for good service but it

degenerated in "a must." So now they expect tip even for an ordinary service. Tip can be used only as a way of expressing a great displeasure

with service (by not tipping).

Tipping in your favorite restaurants/car shops etc may and should get you better service. Tipping in touristy places, where they

know that you're not coming back will get you nothing, certainly not respect.

By always tipping, you're destroying local culture and trying to impose "your" customs onto others. Yes, because it's

money, Thais embraced this "new culture." Still, had it not been for people like you, shops here would have provided good service without

any need for tipping.

What happened to doing "what other Thais are doing?" What happened to being appreciative of local

culture? I guess the instinct for saving bar girls from their miserable lives is just too overpowering. What is

it that they hand out to arriving passengers at Suvanaphumi that instantly turns them into prostitute rescuers, angel guardians of

Thai brothels?

Having said that, only if OP's "girlfriend" is a prostitute, he should pay her. He, too, probably took some of that Suvanaphumi

drink at arrival. So it's paying time

[sirchai]

When I first came to Thailand ten years ago I met several women who wanted to live with me. I went to a Thai lawyer and asked him about "common law marriage" and a woman's rights to my money/property if we were not married. His quick answer was that a Thai woman has zero rights to your property or other assets, no matter how many years she lives with you and/or how many children you father with her, as long as you don't legally marry her.

When I first came to Thailand, about 24 years ago, I had no idea about Pattaya, where I'd met several women who wanted only my best. My money.

Of course, they like to live with you, as you seem to be one of the naive guys who think you can buy love.You buy them food, clothes, some money for mom's sick buffaloes, brother's various accidents where a lot of farlang money is needed.

I never went to see a lawyer,as I've got balls to deal with certain situations. You can't even call them girl friends, as you're paying for all. Those woman,different to other countries offer a "one stop full service."

There're several threads about books you should read. They're all true. Grow up and don't spend money for a lawyer.

Time to say goodbye, if you can't say it, page me and I'll tell her in Thai to piss off. Sorry, for being so straight, but honest with you, might be better than some bla bla.

Should You Pay a Thai Girlfriend to Leave your Home?

Should you pay a German/American/English girlfriend to leave your home?-

Your post is really sad!

To live here 24 years and not have one serious loving and meaningful relationship. Where you spend all your time with drinking and Bar Girls and yet expect them to love you for just you, and not for the money they earn from their profession. To have to gain knowledge from some book on Thailand when you lived here so long? I think it is you who is nieve here, and not him.

No wonder you are so bitter and angry.

Daa Mai Henn, Bai Poojai Bhaan. -If your eyes can't see, go to the village head, to get some eyeglasses.

Dude, the first three sentences are from the original OP. I wrote what happened 24 years ago and the experience that most Thai women in Pattaya were some sort of involved in prostitution, rip off, telling the usual little lies.

Finally, 'd settled down in the northeast and married a girl who didn't work in the bar business. We're happily married and still love each other after 12 years.

'The book(s) I was talking about are really useful for some guys to open their eyes, as they really open eyes and people will understand how many bar girls think.

And if a girl found out that bar girls don't have a good reputation, then some might find a way to sell their stories that they're jobless Kamasutra BA holders, on their way to a Master degree.

Many people still don't know that they'd married a one stop service woman, all has to be bought. Sex, a car, house, buffaloes of course, Etc....

The only problem I've got is that many Thais nowadays think that all foreigners have a bar girl as a wife, as they can't get a woman back in their country of origin.

Back to the question. It all depends on the Op's financial circumstances and what he'd offered her. Being a man of word should be part of it.

Please keep in mind that you only have to pay somebody a small amount of money to get ass kicked. And not much at all to say goodbye to this life.

So why bother and ask in such a forum, as we're all different and living a different life style. I'd assume to give her some money for a new start and no problems will be created by her.

Do that with a witness (Thai) you can trust. Make sure she isn't coming back and learn through this lesson that you don't do this again.

And regarding tipping. I do not live in such a weird environment called Pattaya. Here in the northeast I've got some good Thai friends and know some good people.

Tipping here opens most doors in the northeast of Thailand. At least for me. I go to my guy if I have a problem with any electronic item, get it fixed right away.

Same goes when I drive to Mitsubishi, they are more confident doing a good job. And and and....ok, forgot it's about Pattaya,. the dream world in LOS.-

Sorry, but life's too short for such babyshit. Once you tell her the truth, you'll see how she actually is. Be aware.-

Edited January 30, 2014 by sirchai

[tetleythedog]

It is a civil matter, nothing to do with the police.

The lawyer was right, but often during the course of living together property get mixed. One buys a tv, the other a microwave or helps pay for that. So often there is indeed something to split and regardless of that and depending on the circumstances it might be a decent thing to do to help the ex- out standing on her own again.

But that is something different than offering half of the value of your condo or negotiate with a policeman over how much you should give.

Yes !!! It,s got sweet FA to do with the cops, she's just promised them a percentage of whatever she gets. They think that because they have a uniform and we are usually uninformed that they can bluff you. It's a pity the cops don't do the job they're supposed to instead of looking for scams all the time.

[hhgz]

could we move this to the general forum to get more responses?

The responses will either be "yes, you should", or "no, you should not". Take your pick.

[eddie61]

Mario: As usual you are the voice of reason, thanks. In one case the woman demanded a high amount (at least 100K) and she had contributed nothing of financial value. When the guy refused she trashed his bike and apt and then physically attacked him. He then went to the tourist police (I took the report for the TP) who tried to negotiate but she wanted the money. The TP then advised them to go to the Royal Police. I think that some Thai women look at sex as a commodity so they performed it say 100x and could have made 1,000B each time so now want the 100K. I'm afraid mine would make very little based on that logic.

Mario, could we move this to the general forum to get more responses?

I think you should negotiate a bulk discount for every sex act: At least 50% off as a wholesale discount, and 200 baht/day for food and accommodation, I imagine that 300 baht a shot would be reasonable.

[BudRight]

The 'man up' thing is not really an argument. You could just as easily say 'man up and don't pay' as 'man up and pay.'

As far as actual options;

1. Make yourself hard to find. That is, move and change jobs.

2. Make it harder to pursue the blackmail than leave you alone. This is the 'blackmail her back option.' Get creative, and remember no one will give you a prize for being a nice guy.

There was the answer I was looking for!

Run and hide the rest of your life so she can't find you. Sell your house, for half price, and assured of a quick sale. Otherwise you may find it spray painted with "Cheap Charlie" written all over it. Have a Bar Girl hold your Motor Bike for you, until you return in a year or so. Don't renew your Visa and Overstay as she can never find you through Immigration that way. Or her Brother-in-law or Cousin Lawyer. Learn to live in the Juggle, which is the last place she would ever look for you. Sell drugs on the side to support yourself through those tough times. These are all creative ways to still live her and yet avoid her. So be a Real Man! Stand up to her! Don't give her a cent! That will teach her the lesson she needs to learn from a Real Man!.

Or be Fare and show some compassion and help her out for the years she spent with you, and perhaps dedicated her life to yours.

Again! Up-to-you!

I was really trying to make the point that only #2 is a good option. Pay her and she'll be back every month or two for more money.

If you're so <deleted> compassionate then you pay her off! You owe her as much as the OP does!