1. Sometimes we just don't want to talk. Don't take it personally.

2. We notice other women because we are men and we are alive. This does not mean we're planning to dump you and jump them.

3. Our favorite T-shirts are not "disgraceful." They show our loyalty to our college, our favorite sports team, our favorite beer, our favorite vacation or number 23.

4. Helpless is not cute.

5. Get to the point.

6. Understand that men are single-minded and can only do one thing at a time. So don't talk to us while we're doing something. We will either ignore you, because we don't hear you "honestly), or we'll screw up what we're doing because you've distracted us. Exception to Rule 6. Interrupt us if something is on fire, if someone needs immediate medical attention, if Pamela Lee is on TV or if there is an emergency that needs a hero.

7. You can't complain that there are no good guys around while some of us are still single.

8. If you ask us, "Do you think she's prettier then me?" we just might say, "Yes." Then what are you going to do?

9. Don't expect even a great relationship with us to solve all your problems. Just because we love you, doesn't mean your cellulite, your credit card debt or your bad mood will disappear.

10. We would not wear high heels to impress you.

11. Breathe occasionally so we can get a word in.

12. For us, driving is not just a means of going from point A to point B. It's an opportunity to control a couple of tons of steel. We drive, therefore, we are.

13. If you want us to notice something, help us out by saying something like, "I went to the beauty shop today."

14. If you have to have a cat, at least don't call him "Mister" anything.

15. Hide the self help books when we come over. They make us nervous.

16. We need to vegetate.

17. We don't go shopping. When we need something, we buy it.

18. We believe our bodily functions are perfectly normal and, at times, quite amusing.

19. We don't believe you when you say money isn't important to you.

20. When we see pictures of Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones we feel proud and happy to be men. We don't care if it's not fair.

21. It's not that we don't want to make you happy, it's just that sometimes, we don't know how.

22. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down.

23. If it itches, it will be scratched.

24. If you ask a question you don't really want an answer to, expect an answer you didn't want to hear.

25. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.

26. Don't ask us what were thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topis such as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.

27. Sundays equals sports. Period.

28. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

29. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

30. You have enough clothes.

31. You have too many shoes.

32. Crying is blackmail.

33. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.

34. Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!

35. No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar you know we check.

36. We're not mind readers and we never will be. OUr lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

37. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair - out of 30 - would look good with your dress?

38. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

39. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

40. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

41. Check your oil.

42. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

43. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take any quiz together.

44. It doesn't matter which quiz.

45. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.

46. If you won't dress like the Victoria Secret girls, don't expect us to act like the soap opera guys.

47. If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

48. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.

49. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

50. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.

51. If you wear a Wonderbra and a low-cut blouse, you lose the right to complain about having your boobs stared at.

52. Our relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.

53. Men see a limited number of colors, like Windows default settings. Peach is a fruit, not a color.

54. Ditto melon.

55. If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing is wrong.

99% spot on but try telling her that

We won't believe you if you say that size does not matter. Best not to refer to our tackle in terms of size.

Im in tears! They are so true. Thanks. How many motorbikes do you need - you can only ride one at a time [How many shoes do you need , you can only wear one pair at a time].This does not cut it !

Great stuff...definitely a keeper for later use...

Cut and pasted from where?

From my much younger and wilder years:

"I've got rules: I can't do you more than twice."

Cut and pasted from where?

http://showcase.netins.net/web/tash/rules/rules.html

I am getting this list translated and giving it to my wife. It says so may things that need saying....... love it :-)

Brilliant!

I am getting this list translated and giving it to my wife. It says so may things that need saying....... love it :-)

Waste of time of time if she is Thai; they don't like reading.

Things girls wish guys just knew

- Macho behavior is a bit immature
- The same applied to 50+ years olds with beer-bellies and pony tails driving on loud motorcycles
- If you can't multitask, may you should read a self-help book
- When we want a drink, we know alternatives to sitting in a sweaty beerbar all night
- If you don't know how to make us happy, perhaps you should read a self-help book
- If you don't care to make us happy, perhaps you should stick with your macho buddies
- You don't have enough clothes (and your tattoos don't look so hot either)
- I'll check my oil if you will check your emotional IQ

Cut and pasted from where?

http://showcase.netins.net/web/tash/rules/rules.html

Sherlock

From my much younger and wilder years:

"I've got rules: I can't do you more than twice."

Or maybe now it would be just the once

- I'll check my oil if you will check your emotional IQ

emotional IQ? there is no such a thing, sweety

"emotional Intelligence quotient" is an oxymoron

My eyes are full with tears. LOL

my best one is the n.55 rule I apply it day by day.

- What's wrong dear amazing my own one?

- .....nothing!

- That's great Darling, what is the dinner?

Things girls wish guys just knew

- Macho behavior is a bit immature

- The same applied to 50+ years olds with beer-bellies and pony tails driving on loud motorcycles

- If you can't multitask, may you should read a self-help book

- When we want a drink, we know alternatives to sitting in a sweaty beerbar all night

- If you don't know how to make us happy, perhaps you should read a self-help book

- If you don't care to make us happy, perhaps you should stick with your macho buddies

- You don't have enough clothes (and your tattoos don't look so hot either)

- I'll check my oil if you will check your emotional IQ

Wow, Wow Dear does,

I guess you made mistake to read this topic.

Big breath Baby. Calm down baby!

You go and buy something special nice present to your boyfriend, or some sexy underwear for yourself.

Things girls wish guys just knew

- Macho behavior is a bit immature

- The same applied to 50+ years olds with beer-bellies and pony tails driving on loud motorcycles

- If you can't multitask, may you should read a self-help book

- When we want a drink, we know alternatives to sitting in a sweaty beerbar all night

- If you don't know how to make us happy, perhaps you should read a self-help book

- If you don't care to make us happy, perhaps you should stick with your macho buddies

- You don't have enough clothes (and your tattoos don't look so hot either)

- I'll check my oil if you will check your emotional IQ

seems like your pretty into self help books.

Time for the OP to join the lonely heart band.- .

"does my bum look big in this outfit?"

Our answer = "of course not dear, you look beautiful"

Real answer = "now that you mention it..."

Superb list!

Definitely worthy of cut and paste!!

When you are accused of admiring another woman (Rule #2), a useful reply is to say:- "Even on a diet you can still read the menu."

Jeffrey, my error. The correct terms is actually Emotional Intelligence. This is from Wikipedia:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_intelligence

Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to identify, assess, and control the emotions of oneself, of others, and of groups.

The first use of the term "emotional intelligence" is usually attributed to Wayne Payne's doctoral thesis, A Study of Emotion: Developing Emotional Intelligence from 1985.^[2] The first published use of 'EQ' (Emotional Quotient) seems to be by Keith Beasley in 1987 in an article in the British Mensa magazine.^[3] However, prior to this, the term "emotional intelligence" had appeared in Beldoch (1964),^[4] Leuner (1966).^[5]Stanley Greenspan (1989) also put forward an EI model, followed by Peter Salovey and John Mayer (1989),.^[6] The distinction between trait emotional intelligence and ability emotional intelligence was introduced in 2000.^[7]

- I'll check my oil if you will check your emotional IQ

emotional IQ? there is no such a thing, sweety

"emotional Intelligence quotient" is an oxymoron

IQ Intelligence quotient (well established)

EQ for Emotional Intelligence (best book by Goleman)

SQ for Spiritual Intelligence (introduced by Danah Zohar)

The US president with the highest IQ was Carter. He was the least successful, lacking EQ.

Ronald Reagan was very successful. Low IQ but high EQ.

Of course,, when that assessment was made, they had no idea that someone as stupid as Bush junior would come along.

IQ Intelligence quotient (well established)

EQ for Emotional Intelligence (best book by Goleman)

SQ for Spiritual Intelligence (introduced by Danah Zohar)

The US president with the highest IQ was Carter. He was the least successful, lacking EQ.

Ronald Reagan was very successful. Low IQ but high EQ.

Of course,, when that assessment was made, they had no idea that someone as stupid as Bush junior would come along.

no waaay padre!!

... EQ is there mainly to tweak the bottom end, forget pre-sets

and SQ...

well if I has to SQ... means I should know better dunnit?

ps wotabout JFK, and don't tell me they're still investigating

Speak for yourself. I would rather be deceived. If you believe it, it is true!!!!!

Things girls wish guys just knew

- Macho behavior is a bit immature

- The same applied to 50+ years olds with beer-bellies and pony tails driving on loud motorcycles

- If you can't multitask, may you should read a self-help book

- When we want a drink, we know alternatives to sitting in a sweaty beerbar all night

- If you don't know how to make us happy, perhaps you should read a self-help book

- If you don't care to make us happy, perhaps you should stick with your macho buddies

- You don't have enough clothes (and your tattoos don't look so hot either)

- I'll check my oil if you will check your emotional IQ

Tut tut....hit a nerve did he???

You better read rules 5, 26, 32, and 49 again.....better still, read them all again. The OP was waaaay funnier that your 'rules'.

Things girls wish guys just knew

- Macho behavior is a bit immature

- The same applied to 50+ years olds with beer-bellies and pony tails driving on loud motorcycles

- If you can't multitask, may you should read a self-help book

- When we want a drink, we know alternatives to sitting in a sweaty beerbar all night

- If you don't know how to make us happy, perhaps you should read a self-help book

- If you don't care to make us happy, perhaps you should stick with your macho buddies

- You don't have enough clothes (and your tattoos don't look so hot either)

- I'll check my oil if you will check your emotional IQ

Wow, Wow Dear does,

I guess you made mistake to read this topic.

Big breath Baby. Calm down baby!

You go and buy something special nice present to your boyfriend, or some sexy underwear for yourself.

Boyfriend? You are definitely mistaken, read her post again, i think she isn't boyfriend material, if you know what i mean......5555555