Urgent help needed!

[oogster8]

Teachable moment here................lol. What is the reason Not to use condoms? If the sensations are not there have them use another means to get you off...............................lol.

What has this place come too?

[NoshowJones]

I'm new to this forum as a member so I don't want to speak awkwardly. But what do you want members to do for you?

It seems you have fallen for the trap while being carless yourself. If indeed she is pregnant, you need to decide what you intend to do to care for it, and of course her and no doubt the family.

A similar thing happened to my friend in the UK. She deliberately became pregnant hoping he would give up the UK, move to Thailand to take care of the family. Needless to say he didn't. She apparently aborted the child on a whim.

By the family, I assume you mean the OPs wifes parents, brothers and sisters (if any). They are not the OPs responsibility. If he starts looking after them financially, then he is off his head

[aveabeeror2]

If your not capable of working things out for your self,you are too young to have left home. Go back to your parents.

As you can see, I have an idea of what I want to do. I'm just seeking opinions and advice. I live interstate from my family and independent many years so I don't see how moving back to my parents can assist me?

He is making fun of you.

Next he will be asking how to change a babies nappie when its him that needs his nappie changed.

[NoshowJones]

If your not capable of working things out for your self,you are too young to have left home. Go back to your parents.

The OP is only looking for advice on what he should do about his girlfriend, he does not have much experience about Thailand or Thai relationships, therefor he is doing the right thing coming on here and asking the advice of TV members.

There is no need to be so nasty to him, in fact, I would say an apology is due.

[aveabeeror2]

If your not capable of working things out for your self,you are too young to have left home. Go back to your parents.

The OP is only looking for advice on what he should do about his girlfriend, he does not have much experience about Thailand or Thai relationships, therefor he is doing the right thing coming on here and asking the advice of TV members.

There is no need to be so nasty to him, in fact, I would say an apology is due.

Read some of the advice he has beengiven, then tell me again that I need apologise.

[crazykopite]

She is taking you for a ride wait till the child is born and get a DNA done better to spend 10/20'000 baht on a test most Thai woman are after a free meal ticket not a week goes by when you hear of this type of story .take a look around Tesco all the old codgers over 60 dragging a child around the store they have all been suckered not for there looks but for the ATM tattoo stuck on there forehead would they have got suckered in there own country I doubt it AMAZING THAILAND. !!!

[chrisinth]

Just to reinforce simple1's post #64, as the way to go forward:

Prenatal DNA Test

Prenatal DNA TestIn certain situations, it is necessary to establish the paternity of a child before a mother gives birth. Prenatal DNA testing can confirm the paternity before a child is born. A prenatal paternity test compares the baby’s DNA profile with that of the alleged father and the mother. Therefore, the mother is usually required to provide DNA samples for analysis, in addition to participating in the procedure for sampling of the baby’s DNA.

Unlike a standard paternity test, the mother is usually required to provide DNA samples for analysis, in addition to participating in the procedure for sampling of the baby’s DNA. The prenatal test provides the same definitive results as the standard paternity test because the baby’s DNA is set at conception. Prenatal testing requires a sample to be collected by a qualified Obstetrician or Gynecologist.

Chorionic Villi Sampling (CVS): A small DNA sample can be taken from the placenta (the membrane that patrially surrounds the foetus) from the 10th to 13th week of pregnancy. This procedure is performed either transcervically (through the vagina) or transabdominally (through the abdominal wall), and must be performed by a qualified Obstetrician or Gynecologist.

Amniocentesis: A sample of amniotic fluid can be taken from the 14th to 24th week of pregnancy. The sac surrounding the developing foetus contains the amniotic fluid which contains foetal cells that can be used for DNA analysis. Sampling is performed transabdominally (through the abdominal wall).

This is possible in Thailand, but not all hospitals will do it. To all those who think getting a DNA test is a simple routine procedure; not quite.

But, it can be done here with a little research. As a starter, Google 'prenatal dna tests, thailand' (without the ('))

[NoshowJones]

If your not capable of working things out for your self,you are too young to have left home. Go back to your parents.

The OP is only looking for advice on what he should do about his girlfriend, he does not have much experience about Thailand or Thai relationships, therefor he is doing the right thing coming on here and asking the advice of TV members.

There is no need to be so nasty to him, in fact, I would say an apology is due.

Read some of the advice he has beengiven, then tell me again that I need apologise.

You read what you have posted to him, it does not matter what advice TV members have given him. The OP is only on here looking for some help, not to be told to go back to his parents.

[chrisinth]

eldragon, on 22 Jan 2014 - 10:34, said:eldragon, on 22 Jan 2014 - 10:34, said:

Jack Mountain, on 22 Jan 2014 - 09:51, said:Jack Mountain, on 22 Jan 2014 - 09:51, said:

If she is pregnant from you, why didn't she want to talk to you in december? Made in august huh? Too late for an abortion then ...

How does she feels about it?

There's an easy answer for this. Thais don't know how to be straightforward about things. Especially a 20 year old female one that has never been pregnant before and might be scared out her mind. I wouldn't take her temporary silence on the matter to be a big factor in determing if the baby is yours or not.

"Especially a 20 year old female one that has never been pregnant before.........."

Do we know this as a fact?

This is not a dig at either eldragon (very good point about being scared BTW) or the OP, but how much of the girl's history is known?

Met on an internet dating site, physically met for relatively short periods with the assumption that what you are being told is the truth. That, unfortunately is the reality.

Of course, the above is also assumption.

To the OP, sorry if this isn't constructive, but you came to an open forum for advice/comments on a crisis and this is what you will get. Some advice will be instantly acceptable to your game plan, while others will slur your situation. From short term relationship to pregnancy, to silence, to bringing home to your country of origin is not, IMHO, a logical path without establishing all the facts first. I understand panic, I understand doing the 'right' thing, but there is a time and place for everything in this life...................

Edit: Original point of this post, 20 years of age is no longer considered 'young' for pregnancies..............

Edited January 22, 2014 by chrisinth

[Kangawallafox]

She took off and is ignoring you, take advantage of that.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[Africanteacher]

Get her to send you the ultrasound. They usually have the mother's name and EDD (Expected Date Of Delivery) on it.
You could do your Maths from that to begin with.

[FiestyFarang]

I want to get the ultrasound done and have the doctor tell me when the baby was conceived and when it is due. This will give me a good idea that the child is in fact mine as they should be able to tell me it is such and such weeks old and was conceived around August.

I want to take care of her and the baby which is why I'm going to fly to Thailand asap to get the ultrasound done. I believe I have enough supporting documents to get the tourist visa (I will likely get help from an agency as well just to make sure).

If I bring her over here, can she have the baby here (she may overstay her visa) and if she does have it here, will we be lumped with a huge medical bill since she has no medicare?

If we get married, is it better done in Australia?

Granted she might have a good reason for an overstay, but in Australia I think they take that very seriously, ie a three year return ban. Therefore think very carefully before overstaying.

[hotrod4098]

if you need any help to see if she is pregnant.i am in pattaya next month ..so could do a search to see if she is

a thai girl at 5 months will have a big tummy..

also will see if any other boyfriends on the scene etc..

send me a message

[brucegoniners]

Dude. First of all, yes, find out if it's yours with a DNA test.

If it's not yours, no problem.

If it is then be a man and support the child.

But why in the world do you want to bring her to Australia? She's your ex gf, not current gf.

Do your part, but why get involved any more than that?

[hotrod4098]

I have a fairly good idea that she is not a prostitute. We spoke every day and she worked at a sushi restaurant. I was very stupid to have unprotected sex and I will never make that mistake again. For the record, I got tested 2 weeks ago after I didn't hear from her it come back negative. It was even more scarier than this situation.

There are many degrees of prostitution in TH. A girl that needs a few bucks at the end of the month might not be against going down to the bar, hooking up with a naive stranger, then seeing if she can get some money out of him in the morning. Sometimes they say something like, "I need to borrow a little money..." Happens here all the time.

Also, studies show most Thai girls with HIV don't tell their partners they have it.

[hotrod4098]

I have a fairly good idea that she is not a prostitute. We spoke every day and she worked at a sushi restaurant. I was very stupid to have unprotected sex and I will never make that mistake again. For the record, I got tested 2 weeks ago after I didn't hear from her it come back negative. It was even more scarier than this situation.

There are many degrees of prostitution in TH. A girl that needs a few bucks at the end of the month might not be against going down to the bar, hooking up with a naive stranger, then seeing if she can get some money out of him in the morning. Sometimes they say something like, "I need to borrow a little money..." Happens here all the time.

Also, studies show most Thai girls with HIV don't tell their partners they have it.

[Sayonarax]

Get a DNA test when the childs born.

Your gfs a hooker who sleeps with men for money.

Do not fall for the im a pregnant scam, shes looking for someone to sponsor her life mistake.

she went AWOL for weeks, don't be that guy your friends laugh about back in oz.

[jonesthebaker]

dump her. dont get dna test as she will take you to the cleaners. not wanting the family to know is bs.

what does she do for a living in pattaya?

it pays to know that it is a common scam for girls to tell some dim witted guy that she is pregnant either to scam him for the cost of an abortion or just get some extra money. the old ectopic pregnancy is a good one as it requires a termination but is much more expensive.

alternatively (if she is really pregant) and you want to kiss your life as yuo know it and all future peace of mind out of the window. run to her have the kid, worry about it for 20 years and more and ive with some bird that you will hate or despize but you will have to pay for - for ever and a day

Edited January 22, 2014 by jonesthebaker

[HerbalEd]

If your description is accurate then it's very unlikely you impregnated her. I've done pull-out hundreds of times and never had a problem ... and yes, according to tests, I am fertile. No matter what you do, you should eventually do a DNA test to be completely sure.

[Xonax]

That´s only normal for a desperate female, when they dont want to let go. I tried the same with a woman from my home country. Just tell her to have an abortion.

[HerbalEd]

dump her. dont get dna test as she will take you to the cleaners. not wanting the family to know is bs.

what does she do for a living in pattaya?

it pays to know that it is a common scam for girls to tell some dim witted guy that she is pregnant either to scam him for the cost of an abortion or just get some extra money. the old ectopic pregnancy is a good one as it requires a termination but is much more expensive.

alternatively (if she is really pregant) and you want to kiss your life as yuo know it and all future peace of mind out of the window. run to her have the kid, worry about it for 20 years and more and ive with some bird that you will hate or despize but you will have to pay for - for ever and a day

So, are you saying your "solution" to an unwanted pregnancy is to "dump her" ... ever though the child may be his? Nice guy.

[NoBrains]

Very easy, when born DNA test that's it.
And when yours take responsebility.

[jamhar]

Do not take her back. I would also not come back to TL. The chances that it's your baby is equal to the chances it's MY baby!!

Deal with it remotely, admit nothing, let her prove it's your baby. If you know for certain it's your baby, you should man up ASAP. (Just my opinion) but regardless you should not bring your former gf back home.

Just my 2cents

[Toscano]

I don't know how old you are , but you seem incredibly naive to me .

Thais are not the same as ausies or Brits , lots of them have babies out of wedlock .

There are no paternity ties to make you responsible for the child . Pattaya is not a good address , where did you meet her , in a bar ?

My advice to you is to stay in Australia and forget about it . We Falang think of ourselves as exclusive boyfriends , but Thais don't think that way .

Some girls have multiple men friends . The advantage of pinning the pregnancy on a foreigner is money , foreigners will naively pay up and support mother

and baby , Thai men won't .

[BradWalker]

She is, in all probability, lying. The first thing you do is get an ultrasound done. The OB will be able to determine, within three to four days, the date of insemination. Look at your passport and see if you were even in Thailand during this three or four day window. If not, give her the three-finger salute and take a walk. If you were here at the time, then ask for a DNA. I believe that It can be done pre-birth. If the girl is telling the truth, then it is up to you if you want to continue the relationship. If you do, it is up to you how to handle it. Thailand has no child support laws, but if you are a decent human, you will take responsibility for the child and support it. This will also be dicey, as the family might want to f__k with you, but go in with an open mind and best intentions and, possibly, a good lawyer.

[jonesthebaker]

dump her. dont get dna test as she will take you to the cleaners. not wanting the family to know is bs.

what does she do for a living in pattaya?

it pays to know that it is a common scam for girls to tell some dim witted guy that she is pregnant either to scam him for the cost of an abortion or just get some extra money. the old ectopic pregnancy is a good one as it requires a termination but is much more expensive.

alternatively (if she is really pregant) and you want to kiss your life as yuo know it and all future peace of mind out of the window. run to her have the kid, worry about it for 20 years and more and ive with some bird that you will hate or despize but you will have to pay for - for ever and a day

So, are you saying your "solution" to an unwanted pregnancy is to "dump her" ... ever though the child may be his? Nice guy.

no i didnt say that. i said it was an option. i mean why have a kid with some bird that he hardly knows. what kind of life would the kid have. a kid isnt just for xmas. i would say that she is not even pregnant and if she is - well come on she works in pattaya and if she went bare back with the op then ... well who else has bare backed her

anyhow i think it is a troll post as nobody could be so dumb. so what i say is of no concern as it is said with that in mind

Edited January 22, 2014 by jonesthebaker

[kingstonkid]

Will the Aus governemetn give her a visa? I know the Cdn Embassy will not.

you should be able to tell if she is pregnant when she meets you at the airport.

Prsonally i would take her to a doctor in BKK as there is less chance that she can get a fudged dna.

besides that all the other info is golden.

Just take it from where youare and see where it lands.

GO SLOW.

KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT AND YOUR PANTS UP.

[JLCrab]

dump her. dont get dna test as she will take you to the cleaners. not wanting the family to know is bs.

what does she do for a living in pattaya?

it pays to know that it is a common scam for girls to tell some dim witted guy that she is pregnant either to scam him for the cost of an abortion or just get some extra money. the old ectopic pregnancy is a good one as it requires a termination but is much more expensive.

alternatively (if she is really pregant) and you want to kiss your life as yuo know it and all future peace of mind out of the window. run to her have the kid, worry about it for 20 years and more and ive with some bird that you will hate or despize but you will have to pay for - for ever and a day

So, are you saying your "solution" to an unwanted pregnancy is to "dump her" ... ever though the child may be his? Nice guy.

If all said in Post #1 is true i.e. only 2 occasions where no condom used but 'pulled out' well before completion then the odds would be that the baby (if there really is one) is not his.

[simple1]

She is, in all probability, lying. The first thing you do is get an ultrasound done. The OB will be able to determine, within three to four days, the date of insemination. Look at your passport and see if you were even in Thailand during this three or four day window. If not, give her the three-finger salute and take a walk. If you were here at the time, then ask for a DNA. I believe that It can be done pre-birth. If the girl is telling the truth, then it is up to you if you want to continue the relationship. If you do, it is up to you how to handle it. Thailand has no child support laws, but if you are a decent human, you will take responsibility for the child and support it. This will also be dicey, as the family might want to f__k with you, but go in with an open mind and best intentions and, possibly, a good lawyer.

Thailand does have Child Support legislation, as per usual enfocement can be a challenge

http://www.thailandlawyer.net/thai-family-law-child-support/

http://www.siam-legal.com/legal_services/Child-Support-in-Thailand-Faqs.php

[realenglish1]

Common Get real and stop thinking with the small one

She is 20 and lives in Pattaya What is her work If she says you are really the father then get a DNA test to prove it

And it is a trap never the less she is 20 and is poor she probably does not know anything else

Good luck it sounds like you need it