khunpa Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 First... It seems strange that she does not want to talk with you. And when she finally does, she is all of a sudden pregnant. Honestly, if me I would forget even considering getting married. Is this the kind of girl you want to marry? (someone that "forgets" to tell you, that she is pregnant?) You already made the biggest mistake of all, by giving her money to keep in touch with her. And now you are paying the price, by not knowing how to deal with what she claims and not really knowing her intentions. You are already doubting her and also consider marrying her. Can you not see how stupid this is? Basically, you can do 2 things. Have a DNA test done after the kid is born (if there actually is one) and then take the responsibility for that. OR you can do this Thai-man style... Just turn your back and get on with your life. Marrying her, would for sure not be my choice. But on the other hand... You would not be the first stupid farang on this planet, when it comes to Thai-girls. No matter what.. Good luck and next time wear a condom! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaigold Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 If you met her in Pattaya; if she doesn't have at least a high school degree; if her parents are farmers and live upcountry; if you had sex and she wasn't a virgin - forget it. Lesson learned. And for God's sake, don't even think of taking her to OZ. You have been duly warned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shrimpythailand Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 good comments.. first off - does she even WANT to go to Oz....or is this a standard thai girl ploy to get a falung's money? I have been here 13 years - married to a thai but no kids - but i work and live here... she has a 22 yr old daughter and 15 year old son...obviously get a dna check done if you can afford to hop back here on a plane or whatever... if it IS yours, you can get the OZ citizenship PP and papers done after birth... a canuck friend did that for his kid... (then went back to canada and left the girl and the son - nice guy and he had lived here 10 years) so august to now is about 5 months... ask an oz doc how to check paternaty at 5 months and see how it is done - is cheaper to do all that here... and then back to does she even want to go to oz...? you can get married here cheap - 2500 bt for an emabssy paper that says you are ok to be married (they didn't even look at my divorce papers at teh us emb whan i got it done) and 40bt at the Amphur for he thai 2 papers.. plus a trip to the immigration office to verify your embassy page - (translated to thai for 500 bt) but back to the whole bit... does she have a job? does she want to move away from family? how many boyfriends are on the hook already? the thai "brother" could be a boyfriend... basically as one poster said "don't believe anything" and if you are not living here now then are at a big disadvantage...good thai hospital delivery is 20-30K bt yes...so until you can figure out if the child its yours you may be paying out "money for nothing" so get ready for that... if you love her - does she love you? she can also easily abort as well but of course that costs more every month of pregnancy here... but i saw one home remidy used and also a late term 8 month or so one paid for by a family for about 30,000 bt...so welcome to thailand and getting a girl pregnant problems...be careful on payments as there may be the "you owe us money" for getting our daughter pregnant and not married... they may want a big dowry paid also which you have to beware of...even thai's to thai''s will use this one... and with a falung - will the sky maybe the limit unless you know how to hold your ground or the figure throw out is just too astronomical to even consider... also your comment "she knew in december" isn't quite true then is it if she missed 3 periods or something along that train of thought... anyway - nothing wrong with helping out a thai girl you had sex with but be careful, cautious AND skeptical until you know the whole story about her...I have been helping out my thai family for the 10 years i have been married and I generally enjoy helping them.... I have a 4 yr old grandson that loves his falung "grandpa" and also now have a 3 month grandaughter thanks to the wife's daughter and 14 yr old nephew and sisters and brothers and thai mum and dad... but"i can only give what I do not want paid back" and that is the deal here... beacuse nothing you give will get paid back is a rule of thumb... so yes if it is your kid - do what you need to do... but just make sure she is not stringing you on as well... she may not even want to move to oz.... and since you are not living and working or able to to live here on your own money then things can get sideways real quick...keep the money small if you send and i guess make sure yoy can skype and email her and actually get answers and see how it goes.... good luck steve 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SjaakNL2013 Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 If you are not sure.....before you do anything ask DNA proof... then you have a base to do something or nothing. Good luck 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bantex Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 Sounds like you already have a plan. However if you take the girl to Aus, have the baby, get the DNA done and then find out it's not yours, what will you do then? I fear she will already have you inextricably trapped by then. Next then look at her profile. What does she do in Pattaya? She will have known she missed her period for 4 months. Has she been working all that time and now cannot work anymore? She had unprotected sex with you the second holiday meeting? Have you been to her room in Pattaya? If she is on love links she could have several boyfriends. If she is smart and super devious as many as one a month. Need to do some serious background checks before you get to the point of no return.first thing I would do is have her meet me at the airport and pretend you will stay in a hotel in pats. Once in the center of pats tell her change of plan you need to stay in her room and have the taxi take you straight there. Can't wait to have a peek inside her laptop! I have been to her room in Pattaya many times when I have been there. I have no suspicion any any other boyfriends and I guess I have the option of going through her ipad when I'm over there. Thanks for your time in writing back. Was there any sign of you in her room? If she is playing the field, she will be well versed in hiding her tracks. If there are other boyfriends on the go, she might have a separate iPad or mobile phone for each. Good luck........ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post umbanda Posted January 22, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted January 22, 2014 Long time ago, when I was 25, single, and with many GF, one of them that was the youngest and most "innocent" of them, call me months after we broke up. We had unprotected sex, and she said that she was pregnant. I was not ready for any commitment, but willing to pay an abortion. But....before getting into that I told her that was impossible for her to got pregnant from me because my doctor said that I was sterile. Just to see her reaction.....Well....she responded ..Oh..OK.....probably is from my other lover. I never spoke with her again. That was in 1969, and she was 18...but most important..I was not in love with her, and not ready to be a father, and she was not 4 months pregnant. I knew later that she didn't have a baby. Abortion is better than fatherhood or motherhood at the wrong time in life or/and for not good reasons. That's my opinion. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cardinalblue Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 She lives in Pattaya and she is certain you are the father. Red flags should be everywhere? Marrying her and taking care of the baby whether yours or not doesn't mean you will have a happy like together... This could be the beginning of the end of any happy and positive life for you. Consider your needs and dreams in addition to being the guy on the big horse coming to the rescue.... Analyze at every step and don't make crazy promises out of guillt...You will regret it in both the short and long run... CB 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emster23 Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 Do not marry her. No reason to. You're in the frying pan already, why jump into the fire? Do check to see if kid is actually yours. Watch for dna switch scam (I thought this was repeat of post from a few days ago). Never underestimate the level of manipulation that these women are capable of. And they can do it with no signs we might assume are universal, but are not. If you still want to get married in a year or two, it's your funeral. Like they say "marry in haste, repent at leisure". 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyFriend You Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 I'm new to this forum as a member so I don't want to speak awkwardly. But what do you want members to do for you? It seems you have fallen for the trap while being carless yourself. If indeed she is pregnant, you need to decide what you intend to do to care for it, and of course her and no doubt the family. A similar thing happened to my friend in the UK. She deliberately became pregnant hoping he would give up the UK, move to Thailand to take care of the family. Needless to say he didn't. She apparently aborted the child on a whim. It happened to three of my American friends............turned out only one was legitimate , he takes care of the child with nothing to do with the mother - he knows it was a trap because he told her he wasn't going to get married, then low & behold, she pops up preggie in three months hoping he would "do the right thing" wrong answer. He is a good father to the child, even though they don't live together but 2/3 months a year...............got smart and hired a lawyer to ensure the money goes to the childs education and well being. As for the Op?? Ultrasound?? what will that prove, she has a bun in the oven?? DNA DNA DNA nothing else will do. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SgLim Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 (edited) Do not marry her. No reason to. You're in the frying pan already, why jump into the fire? Do check to see if kid is actually yours. Watch for dna switch scam (I thought this was repeat of post from a few days ago). Never underestimate the level of manipulation that these women are capable of. And they can do it with no signs we might assume are universal, but are not. If you still want to get married in a year or two, it's your funeral. Like they say "marry in haste, repent at leisure". If she is really pregnant, perhaps the DNA testing can be done in a 3rd country, e.g. Malaysia or Singapore. Flight from Thailand to either country should not cost much, especially if travelling by a budget airline. E.g. http://www.kkh.com.sg/Services/Children/Genetics/Pages/DNADiagnosticandAndResearchLab.aspx http://www.easydna.sg/contact-us.html (this has an Australian office) Edited January 22, 2014 by SgLim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post David48 Posted January 22, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted January 22, 2014 I was tossing up between 'pass the popcorn' ... and what I'll write below. First up ... the OP, you are looking at the tree ... many here are showing you the Forest ... the bigger picture. Currently, we Thai gf and I are having a baby ... I've spent a lot of time in the pregnancy sections of Thai hospitals. About your thoughts to get her a Tourist Visa ... I wrote the pinned topic in the Visa section on how to obtain an Australian Visa. From the few details gleaned from your OP ... she has little chance of getting a Visa. There is often a 'no further stay' provision attached to a Tourist Visa ... my gf got one the first time, despite 12 years working with an international firm. They just don't give Tourist Visa out like sweets. the no further stay order is very difficult to get lifted. If she lied about not being pregant when she applied ... there would be Hell to Pay later. I read one story of a woman injecting her stomach to appear pregnant ... to further the scam that she was up the duff ... when, in fact she was up to no good and had multiple men sending her money. Almost all scams can be found out with a little heat applied. Time to think through, calmly and logically your unique personal circumstances. If you start to get the Drama Queen flounces and a wee parade, followed by either the 'you don't trust me ... or the you don't love me routine' ... time to find that bike. Just so you know what a 50kg Thai woman looks like when 5 months pregnant ... This is my partner @ 5 months. Do understand that many Thai woman (I'm not inferring the majority, or even close ... just many) have multiple partners and rotate their time amongst them, depending on who is visiting them for that particular month. Most of those men send their girl money, thinking that she is the only one. In the end, it's your decision. The Forum is littered with genuine tales of 'Thai woman do me wrong' ... and probably an equal number of fantastic success stories ... hopefully mine is included in the later. Oh ... despite a bit of earlier advice ... Bt 5,000 a month is what the Thai Courts usually suggest/award if you find the child is genuinely yours ... and not another punter she had a few days earlier. So, in summary ... little or no chance for an Australian Tourist Visa from the information provided. Verify the child is yours beyond doubt. If the child is yours ... then make the decision from there. Don't assume that, even if you get married, the Australian Partner Visa she will get ... it's a long and torturous road, and the fees is about $3,500 is you apply in Thailand. Popcorn would have been easier! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post naboo Posted January 22, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted January 22, 2014 A tale I heard, source fairly reliable..... A young lady in Bangkok met an Australian guy on the internet, they had an extended holiday together travelling all over Thailand, went to her home, met the parents.... He went back to Australia, they kept in touch for a few months. Then he stopped sending her money, told her he'd met a girl in Oz and needed to cut off contact. Her reply - she was pregnant.... They came to an agreement, he'd keep sending money to pay for the medical bills, but he was going to stick with girl he'd met in Oz. Girl "gave birth" and he made plans to come and meet his new "son". Only she had never been pregnant in the first place. Dilemma, solved. The girl had a sister who had given birth recently, she borrowed her sister's baby for a couple of weeks. Guy came over, met his new son, agreed to some financial support, paid it for another year. Next year, he wants to come over and see his son again. Girl goes back to her sister who this time refuses to lend her her child. Dilemma. solved! Girl called "daddy", tears, your son is dead! The guy apparently to this day does not know that he never had a son. There are girls out there who will stop at nothing. Be warned. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wolfmanjack Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 I want to get the ultrasound done and have the doctor tell me when the baby was conceived and when it is due. This will give me a good idea that the child is in fact mine as they should be able to tell me it is such and such weeks old and was conceived around August. I want to take care of her and the baby which is why I'm going to fly to Thailand asap to get the ultrasound done. I believe I have enough supporting documents to get the tourist visa (I will likely get help from an agency as well just to make sure). If I bring her over here, can she have the baby here (she may overstay her visa) and if she does have it here, will we be lumped with a huge medical bill since she has no medicare? If we get married, is it better done in Australia? the ultrasound won't tell the doctor exactly when it was conceived. it will tell the doctor approximately but not exactly. When my wife got pregnant with my first kid the doctor gave me a birth date after the ultrasound.When I counted back 9 months from that date I was not in Thailand at the time so i was concerned. When my son was actually born and I counted back 9 months I was in Thailand and my wife was with me 24/7 at that time so no dna test was needed. The dates the doctor gave us were about 1 month off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wat dee Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 Don't marry Her!!! Don't take Her to Aus!!! Ask for abortion. DNA asap. Kid is not a reason to get married. If things don't work without kids, they surely don't work with one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thailandbeachisland Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 A tale I heard, source fairly reliable..... A young lady in Bangkok met an Australian guy on the internet, they had an extended holiday together travelling all over Thailand, went to her home, met the parents.... He went back to Australia, they kept in touch for a few months. Then he stopped sending her money, told her he'd met a girl in Oz and needed to cut off contact. Her reply - she was pregnant.... They came to an agreement, he'd keep sending money to pay for the medical bills, but he was going to stick with girl he'd met in Oz. Girl "gave birth" and he made plans to come and meet his new "son". Only she had never been pregnant in the first place. Dilemma, solved. The girl had a sister who had given birth recently, she borrowed her sister's baby for a couple of weeks. Guy came over, met his new son, agreed to some financial support, paid it for another year. Next year, he wants to come over and see his son again. Girl goes back to her sister who this time refuses to lend her her child. Dilemma. solved! Girl called "daddy", tears, your son is dead! The guy apparently to this day does not know that he never had a son. There are girls out there who will stop at nothing. Be warned. And the retarded paid for funerals ? hahaha... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 A tale I heard, source fairly reliable..... A young lady in Bangkok met an Australian guy on the internet, they had an extended holiday together travelling all over Thailand, went to her home, met the parents.... He went back to Australia, they kept in touch for a few months. Then he stopped sending her money, told her he'd met a girl in Oz and needed to cut off contact. Her reply - she was pregnant.... They came to an agreement, he'd keep sending money to pay for the medical bills, but he was going to stick with girl he'd met in Oz. Girl "gave birth" and he made plans to come and meet his new "son". Only she had never been pregnant in the first place. Dilemma, solved. The girl had a sister who had given birth recently, she borrowed her sister's baby for a couple of weeks. Guy came over, met his new son, agreed to some financial support, paid it for another year. Next year, he wants to come over and see his son again. Girl goes back to her sister who this time refuses to lend her her child. Dilemma. solved! Girl called "daddy", tears, your son is dead! The guy apparently to this day does not know that he never had a son. There are girls out there who will stop at nothing. Be warned. Being a 3rd party story ... I obviously can't vouch for it's veracity ... but it's not out of line with my experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyFriend You Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 Highly likely she will not be granted a visa for oz not on such a short time relationship. You beat me to it................ admitedly, I am a little slow tonight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Showbags Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 Don't marry Her!!! Don't take Her to Aus!!! Ask for abortion. DNA asap. Kid is not a reason to get married. If things don't work without kids, they surely don't work with one! DNA before or after the abortion ? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post MyFriend You Posted January 22, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted January 22, 2014 A tale I heard, source fairly reliable..... A young lady in Bangkok met an Australian guy on the internet, they had an extended holiday together travelling all over Thailand, went to her home, met the parents.... He went back to Australia, they kept in touch for a few months. Then he stopped sending her money, told her he'd met a girl in Oz and needed to cut off contact. Her reply - she was pregnant.... They came to an agreement, he'd keep sending money to pay for the medical bills, but he was going to stick with girl he'd met in Oz. Girl "gave birth" and he made plans to come and meet his new "son". Only she had never been pregnant in the first place. Dilemma, solved. The girl had a sister who had given birth recently, she borrowed her sister's baby for a couple of weeks. Guy came over, met his new son, agreed to some financial support, paid it for another year. Next year, he wants to come over and see his son again. Girl goes back to her sister who this time refuses to lend her her child. Dilemma. solved! Girl called "daddy", tears, your son is dead! The guy apparently to this day does not know that he never had a son. There are girls out there who will stop at nothing. Be warned. Being a 3rd party story ... I obviously can't vouch for it's veracity ... but it's not out of line with my experience. I have known a lady bar owner for over thirty years, she moved her bar from Bang Chang to Pattaya, we regularly have 'parties' as I like to keep in touch - she tells me of stories where girls actually have regular 'training sessions' for these type of scams, even 'rent' falung babies to show 'Daddy' on the Internet, have several bank accounts...................not all these girls are 'seasoned' hookers, some are as young as 19-25 with a couple kids of their own in Isaan, or down south of Rayong............I believe it to be true. When you come from nothing, anything is better than that. So if it takes a little deception to get money sent every month, the deception is worth it. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post MyFriend You Posted January 22, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted January 22, 2014 Long time ago, when I was 25, single, and with many GF, one of them that was the youngest and most "innocent" of them, call me months after we broke up. We had unprotected sex, and she said that she was pregnant. I was not ready for any commitment, but willing to pay an abortion. But....before getting into that I told her that was impossible for her to got pregnant from me because my doctor said that I was sterile. Just to see her reaction.....Well....she responded ..Oh..OK.....probably is from my other lover. I never spoke with her again. That was in 1969, and she was 18...but most important..I was not in love with her, and not ready to be a father, and she was not 4 months pregnant. I knew later that she didn't have a baby. Abortion is better than fatherhood or motherhood at the wrong time in life or/and for not good reasons. That's my opinion. Young Thai Girls had the most " I'm Pregnant, and once they find out you won't marry them, "Honey we lost the Baby" (miscarraiges) stories that I have ever heard anywhere..............worthy of an academy award......... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wprime Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 She's probably lying to you, just ignore the situation. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChiangraiTony Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 Dear OP, Firstly, let me send good wishes your way. I think this could be a life changing experience for all involved. I have only read the first 10 posted replies so I apologize if some other person already commented with a similar response. The ultra sound or sonogram will still leave you with some doubts. From my experience pre-ultra sound the doctor generally will ask the woman when was her last monthly cycle (a.k.a. period/freedom) and they do some of their analysis based on that as a staring point. I really don't know how exact they can be determine the exact moment of conception. in this case you may want to consider DNA testing. Personally I would be surprised if you could get your GF a visa especially if the sole purpose was to have a baby and too gain your country citizenship status and benefits. I would also be surprised if she would travel outside of Thailand. Most likely she will be the primary caretaker of the baby and want to remain in Thailand with her family. I don't know your age and how much you know about Thailand and some of the culture but it seems that you should understand that your GF and her family will become a very important part of the baby's life. Will you fit into this, is this for you? Hopefully you do know a lot about Thailand because if you don't you'll be in-for numerous challenges. How you handle them will depend on the type of person you are. You will need to learn more on the laws of both countries regarding passport/ visa status for the child. You also will need to determine what your expectations are and find out (if possible) your GF' expectation both short and long term. After the child is born to have it legally your child in Thailand, you must register not just have your name on the birth certificate. Until you officially register (I think with the Amphur) and maybe even with your embassy then the child will not legally be yours. Like I said, you will need to look into the specifics of the laws and requirements. Unless you and your girlfriend are madly in love with each other your life will not be so easy when you consider the reality of both you her and the baby being in different countries. The baby will need food and medical services, clothing, school and a host of other things which you will soon recognize. You'll need to prepare yourself for this responsibility for the rest of YOUR life. What you do next will create other events to unfold, some will be favorable and some not. Wishing that you and your GF gain wisdom from this experience and that you can apply it in your life moving forward. Best wishes to you and your new family. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Neeranam Posted January 22, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted January 22, 2014 20 year olds from Khon Kaen only go to Pattaya for one thing. The baby could be one of 100 guys. Regardless of what the DNA test says, run a mile. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post FredNL Posted January 22, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted January 22, 2014 She is from Khon Kaen and living in Pattaya??? So 99,99999% chance that you are getting scammed. My advise is, just forget her and don't invest anything, time or money. Get a life without her. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrimeAsia Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 With all wise things said here, here's my 2 cents: - she's not pregnant - she's not 20 years old - for a dna test take her to a different hospital she recommends and dont take her translation of thai as true dont waste money invest wise and buy some pvc windows.. we also deliver to Khon Kaen, and any sushi restaurant in pattaya ! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 After the child is born to have it legally your child in Thailand, you must register not just have your name on the birth certificate. Until you officially register (I think with the Amphur) and maybe even with your embassy then the child will not legally be yours. Like I said, you will need to look into the specifics of the laws and requirements. I think this advice might best be taken under review as I'm not sure of it's veracity. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jomcondo Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 in Thailand this is not your problem. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
naboo Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 After the child is born to have it legally your child in Thailand, you must register not just have your name on the birth certificate. Until you officially register (I think with the Amphur) and maybe even with your embassy then the child will not legally be yours. Like I said, you will need to look into the specifics of the laws and requirements. I think this advice might best be taken under review as I'm not sure of it's veracity. Married to the mother and name on the birth certificate, I am legally the father. My wife was not allowed to apply for a first passport without me being there in person to sign and wasn't allowed to take her out of the country without me being there (she was initially told she could not exit Thailand without me being there or without a letter, I was in the queue behind her). If we weren't married, I understood the situation to be much more complicated with regards to my rights. This is another thread, but the OP needs to seriously look up laws on citizenship. For British citizenship, neither birth in the UK nor marriage were necessary for my daughter to get British citizenship in our situation. Rules for Australian citizenship.... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post khaowong1 Posted January 22, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted January 22, 2014 You don't have to wait anymore to do DNA tests until after the baby is born. They can now do them after about 8 weeks of pregnancy. Use one of the main hospitals in Bangkok.. I would suggest Bumrungrad or Samitivej. Good luck. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hotrod4098 Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 think this will lead to a troll post.....time will tell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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