My girlfriend just left me!

[Tchooptip]

I hear so many stories that start like this: "I've been with my wife/girlfriend for X years, she's great/wonderful/perfect, I give her 10-20k/month --"

I always want to stop right there and say, "what?" I don't get this, why do guys do this? Is this normal? I never had a girlfriend who I just gave money for whatever she wanted to spend it on. Am I alone in this?

I don't just give my wife money. Whenever she wants something or needs money, she justs asks me, and we talk about it and I usually just give her what she needs. Whenever I want to spend money, I always consult her. Yes, the final decision is usually mine, but the vast majority of the money comes from my side, so I think that's only fair. If its her own money, then she can always overrule me instead. Am I the strange case for handling our financial decisions like this?

Seriously, do most of you guys just give your wive's discretionary allowances (either farang or Thai), no questions asked?

I a wife is not working she have no income OK, so if she want to buy anything she must ask her husband, all the time, even for a trifle. So if my wife want to buy something specific, she ask me, but I want her to have always some money with her. If she ask me 2/3 hundreds I give her 1.000 even thought I had the change in my wallet, which she knew so she understand. Regularly I ask her if she has still some money, if she says no I give her 1.000 .

[wym]

Those of us giving ours a fixed amount per month can't afford to just dish it out as much as they would like, have to keep her to a maximum amount or they'd bleed us dry, "enough" is a concept unknown to those who think their mate has a bottomless pit of cash hidden somewhere.

And it's not as if they're not working, in many cases earning every penny.

[suthansman]

Yours has left you. I have sent mine home this morning.

People here are mentioning money. Well, as mine has been away from her work in her shop, I have been giving her 5K a month. Not a lot at all considering she buys her Thai food with it, face creams, lotions and potions too + some items of clothing. When she gets back home and I go to the UK, she will work every day in her shop and not ask me for 1 Baht.

All she asks me to do is keep my cock to myself when we are apart and I am happy to do that.

18 months together so far and there have been problems and no doubt will be in the future, but certainly no fighting or arguments over money.

Those who leave after asking for more, well, it shows what they are after and it is not your heart!!

[faraday]

I think the OP is winding everybody up....just look at some of his other posts.

However, if I have misjudged this, all I can say is 'never mind you'll get over her'. At least you weren't married!

[notmyself]

I think the OP is winding everybody up....just look at some of his other posts.

I met her at a massage place in a shopping mall. I told her no need to work.

She worked for a high tech co for ten years before co left town. She got a bachelors degree and eventually wants to get married.

Bit of a step down to massage work.

[yourauntbob]

Congratulation

I figure, if your going to pay for sex you might as well divide it between different women.

[wym]

I think the OP is winding everybody up....just look at some of his other posts.

I met her at a massage place in a shopping mall. I told her no need to work.

She worked for a high tech co for ten years before co left town. She got a bachelors degree and eventually wants to get married.

Bit of a step down to massage work.

Not financially, lots of college graduates working for under 20K in high tech, could just be a factory job, maybe lower-level supervisory.

Plenty of massage girls make more than that, especially if they're good looking, without having to significantly compromise their morals. Of course a LOT more if they do.

Edited January 26, 2014 by wym

[HardenedSoul]

Not that I have any experience in this regard but, for a thread that deals with stipends/allowances, I must say a few of you guys are quite narrow and tight with the wallet, aren't you?

I mean, the couple-of-cans-short-of-a-sixpack OP paid ฿10,000 a month; another guy says he pays ฿5,000.

I just hope these women weren't bar girls before because if they were and they gave that up to take such derisory monthly sums to shack up with old boys, they must be absolute trouts.

[wym]

Too many variables to generalize too much.

Yes girls who enjoy the biz and know how to work the scene successfully will demand close to their usual income in exchange for staying exclusively (in theory anyway) with the one customer.

However if you catch them early in their career and they've found they don't actually enjoy the work, even cuties on Soi Cowboy will give it a go for B15K+. Whether they stick around or not depend on a lot of variables, too many to nail it down to a formula.

This is especially true when times are tough.

Being young, handsum and a skillful lover of course helps.

So does being a decent fellow, not to serious or even pleasant to be around - compatible personality counts for almost as much as the above.

But by far IMO the most imiportant factor is if they can see themselves having a financially secure life - not necessarily wealthy - at the same time as enjoying themselves, or at least not suffering too much.

Then again, plenty of completely zero exposure to the scene girls fresh off the rice farm with zero English - if you like that sort of girl - will be happy to give it a shot if you can clear things with her family, where her actual monthly personal spending is well below 10K.

And for myself personally that last profile yields a much higher percentage of good relationships (as I define that) that last longer than with the explicit sex workers.

[thailandist]

Excellent news! Congratulations!

Anybody who gives a girl a salary should expect nothing less than a gold digger.

Shake her off and move on.

[faraday]

Really do not understand this 'salary' arrangement. Surely, you both spend what you need, & work together for the benefit of the relationship??

But I know of a married couple, both educated people & he allegedly 'pays his wife salary'....but then he also recently told me that he: 'enjoys young (+18) girls sometimes'.!

So maybe the salary is paid to permit - if that's the right word, any indiscretions?

All sounds too much like an arrangement, rather than a marriage. Am I missing the point here....is this what relationships & marriage are about here???

[HardenedSoul]

Too many variables to generalize too much.

Yes girls who enjoy the biz and know how to work the scene successfully will demand close to their usual income in exchange for staying exclusively (in theory anyway) with the one customer.

However if you catch them early in their career and they've found they don't actually enjoy the work, even cuties on Soi Cowboy will give it a go for B15K+. Whether they stick around or not depend on a lot of variables, too many to nail it down to a formula.

This is especially true when times are tough.

Being young, handsum and a skillful lover of course helps.

So does being a decent fellow, not to serious or even pleasant to be around - compatible personality counts for almost as much as the above.

But by far IMO the most imiportant factor is if they can see themselves having a financially secure life - not necessarily wealthy - at the same time as enjoying themselves, or at least not suffering too much.

Then again, plenty of completely zero exposure to the scene girls fresh off the rice farm with zero English - if you like that sort of girl - will be happy to give it a shot if you can clear things with her family, where her actual monthly personal spending is well below 10K.

And for myself personally that last profile yields a much higher percentage of good relationships (as I define that) that last longer than with the explicit sex workers.

Nearly 900 posts in 3 weeks since joining?

Very prolific

Your writing style and excessive verbosity, not to mention some rather similar views, puts me in mind of an old TV poster who used to run a kind of finishing school "program" for farm-fresh girls at which he'd teach them domesticity to Western standards and help improve their English so they could better appeal to prospective Western husbands.

All they'd have to do for this "education" is have sex with a depraved fossil.

[notmyself]

Not financially, lots of college graduates working for under 20K in high tech, could just be a factory job, maybe lower-level supervisory.

Plenty of massage girls make more than that, especially if they're good looking, without having to significantly compromise their morals. Of course a LOT more if they do.

He did say the lady wanted to work but that he said no, presumably because he wanted to spend all day, evening and night with her. Now she's buggered off and may be shacked up with some overweight, sweaty, geriatric German who spends most evenings high on Viagra and he's all on his tod pining about it.

[moe666]

OP here, I'm not getting points here ok. Mods can take them away if they want, I think. But I'm serious. I feel that I need her since I depended on her for two years. Yeah , it's hard to break up with someone you care about.

in the end it is cheaper to do your own cleaning and laundry, There is another one right behind that one do not worry yourself so much learn to be alone not lonely

[FiftyTwo]

OP here, I'm not getting points here ok. Mods can take them away if they want, I think. But I'm serious. I feel that I need her since I depended on her for two years. Yeah , it's hard to break up with someone you care about.

I'm sure it's hard but did she care about you, your post reads like you were 'paying for a girlfriend' which is different to having a girlfriend.

Think of it as gaining 15k a month, rather than losing a gf.

Don't worry, another one will be along soon.

[3NUMBAS]

just keep on taking the diazapam to heal our brain

[quiuvo]

I think the OP is winding everybody up....just look at some of his other posts.

However, if I have misjudged this, all I can say is 'never mind you'll get over her'. At least you weren't married!

This post is the whole truth. I don't want to be alone and don't want a hooker, a maid and a cook once or twice a week. Get used to it, yes I will. It's just difficult for me. Not for others.

I have posted some others and I think that is the point about this site, correct? Some post many more than me. Up to them.

[notmyself]

I think the OP is winding everybody up....just look at some of his other posts.

However, if I have misjudged this, all I can say is 'never mind you'll get over her'. At least you weren't married!

This post is the whole truth. I don't want to be alone and don't want a hooker, a maid and a cook once or twice a week. Get used to it, yes I will. It's just difficult for me. Not for others.

I have posted some others and I think that is the point about this site, correct? Some post many more than me. Up to them.

So you are going to offer a 50% wage increase? You may want to ask if you need a non 'B' visa here....

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/forum/1-thai-visas-residency-and-work-permits/

[quiuvo]

"Notmyself" I'm not my self these past few days. Let me adjust to what may be a new reality.

[Morakot]

What is plan b

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQjh9H-ymK4/media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQjh9H-ymK4

Nicely summarised!

[Bikkii]

It would be interesting to have a little more background concerning both you and your girlfriend, ie your ages, where you met, is she a former bargirl, are you employed, how long together etc. I think you already mentioned that you're from the USA. I hope things work out for you. Good luck.

I met her at a massage place in a shopping mall. I told her no need to work. She does everything for me. She wants to work but I say no.

Oh my,,,,you clearly are a fool or a t@@ll (yes we cannot say that now).

I don't believe you are that much of a fool, so I am going with complete and utter t@@ll

[faraday]

OP...nobody is perfect we all make mistakes....some people seem to have judged you on here, perhaps a little unfairly. Never mind.

You will get over her....it's happened to all of us at sometime. Yes, it hurts...& you're no doubt thinking about how you 'could have done things differently'.

I am sure that given time you will find a new gf...perhaps decide what you really want & need from a relationship...& take it from there.

Good luck.

[breezer]

Buy your self a great computer and stay on here all your life. Cheaper than 15k a month

LFC ...up the reds!!!

[aveabeeror2]

"My GF if a college graduate", "My GF has a degree". Thais can graduate from a college, with a degree with what in Australia and the UK is equal to three years at high school. Minimum,basic education.

[monkeycountry]

You paid her 15,000 baht a month and she moved on because she wanted more money.

This was not, strictly speaking, a girlfriend.

If a guy in the west shares his whole salary 50/50 with his gf/wife who may have no job or a job where she makes a lot less than him, then it is called a normal relationship/marriage. If a guy in Thailand gives his gf/wife a small fraction of his salary, then she is a pro!

So to the OP. Next time you find a gf, just split all your money with her 50/50, this way you know she really loves you and not just your money. Further, I am quite sure that arrangement won't make her run away :-)

Edited January 27, 2014 by monkeycountry

[FiftyTwo]

I think the OP is winding everybody up....just look at some of his other posts.

However, if I have misjudged this, all I can say is 'never mind you'll get over her'. At least you weren't married!

This post is the whole truth. I don't want to be alone and don't want a hooker, a maid and a cook once or twice a week. Get used to it, yes I will. It's just difficult for me. Not for others.

I have posted some others and I think that is the point about this site, correct? Some post many more than me. Up to them.

I think exactly the same, as I said previously, easy to replace her with a slightly younger one for the same price (or less).

The going rate for a live-in gf/wife/mother-of-your-children appears to be between 8k and 15k a month.

Edited January 27, 2014 by FiftyTwo

[oogster8]

I think the OP is winding everybody up....just look at some of his other posts.

However, if I have misjudged this, all I can say is 'never mind you'll get over her'. At least you weren't married!

This post is the whole truth. I don't want to be alone and don't want a hooker, a maid and a cook once or twice a week. Get used to it, yes I will. It's just difficult for me. Not for others.

I have posted some others and I think that is the point about this site, correct? Some post many more than me. Up to them.

I think exactly the same, as I said previously, easy to replace her with a slightly younger one for the same price (or less).

The going rate for a live-in gf/wife/mother-of-your-children appears to be between 8k and 15k a month.

for 8k he might as well go get a hot thAI girl construction worker................lol. much more skills, repair cabinets, do drywall, etc.

[jackr]

^^ He'll be lucky. Now if you substitute Burmese for Thai.

[SailingHome]

OP, has gf come back for more yet? If not, be glad, but be sad for the falang she is getting higher income from. Sad facts of paid girls. Sorry.

[FiftyTwo]

^^ He'll be lucky. Now if you substitute Burmese for Thai.

Actually, my current Thai wife was a construction worker at age 13, she mixed the concrete, her mum did the block work.

But these days, you are right, all Burmese. ON my Moobaan the adults are paid 150bht/day.