Why AreExpats So Stuck Up

[Suradit69]

If someone I don't know wants to say Hi to me, I'll think they are a dash weird... That doesn't make me stuck up, it just makes me think you might be a bit of a nut-job...

In quieter area's, small villages etc there may be other reasons, but in a large city such as Bangkok I don't expect strangers of any nationality to say Hi to me and I certainly don't imagine that I'll go around saying Hi to people I don't know.

A counter question may be asked: "Do people think you are weird if you say Hi to strangers and expect a response ?"

"A counter question may be asked: "Do people think you are weird if you say Hi to strangers and expect a response ?"

Occasionally a random farang will speak to me, usually to ask for directions or something of that sort. I try to be helpful in those cases or if I get on the elevator in my building I'll acknowledge a greeting from someone I don't really know, but I agree with Richard, if someone in a mall or on the street suddenly wants to be my new friend, I would probably keep moving.

It's nothing to do with being a stuck up expat, I'd react the same in my hometown of Chicago or any place I might be travelling in or out of Thailand. Actually it's quite the opposite of being stuck up. I figure anyone desperate enough to want to strike up an acquaintance with me has to be about to tell me a sob story about his lost wallet or else he's high on something.

Which begs the question, why are you so keen to make new friends with random strangers?

Edited February 3, 2014 by Suradit69

[fifthcolumn]

Mostly, I just think you are by and large a group of old, stodgy farts. 90% of Thaivisa posts reflect this. Selfish, small minded, fearful, fastfood addicts and eternal lonesone Louie's. Stuck in your ways coming to Thailand to have someone half your age pay attention to you.

Mostly all the old farts I pass in the street just look out of place. Like its a hot struggle to exist moving themselves from.one ac building to the next.

Heaven help us the retiree, bored that has decided he wants to teach out of sheer loneliness. Double so when they have no degree.

Leave the teachers alone :-)

[Hecate]

If someone I don't know wants to say Hi to me, I'll think they are a dash weird... That doesn't make me stuck up, it just makes me think you might be a bit of a nut-job...

In quieter area's, small villages etc there may be other reasons, but in a large city such as Bangkok I don't expect strangers of any nationality to say Hi to me and I certainly don't imagine that I'll go around saying Hi to people I don't know.

A counter question may be asked: "Do people think you are weird if you say Hi to strangers and expect a response ?"

I lived in an apartment building for ten years. There were about 80 units, and I said hello to all my neighbours. There were one or two people that would never say hello back even though they knew who I was and that I had been one of their neighbours for years. Now that I think is weird, not to mention rude, unfriendly, and a little sad. Fortunately the vast majority of my neighbours were not like that and I had lots of friends in the building as well. Lots of dinner parties.

Thanks for the post. Never realized that the silent few might think I was the nut job or that they may have been waiting all those years for a formal introduction before risking such intimate contact with a "stranger".

[tetleythedog]

Soutpeel, on 02 Feb 2014 - 22:55, said:Soutpeel, on 02 Feb 2014 - 22:55, said:

Costas2008, on 02 Feb 2014 - 22:50, said:Costas2008, on 02 Feb 2014 - 22:50, said:

Yes, I agree with you.

There is something wrong with the teachers.

Generally, they have a chip on their shoulder, stuck up noses, and an inferiority complex.

They would criticize you for every mistake you make, and call you illiterate, doesn't matter if English is not your mother language.

Don't know why and how they got the idea that they are superior beings, because in reality they are just ordinary men or women working hard to earn some money to live.

Is it not to do with the fact a lot of teachers are in fact control freaks, and even when dealing with adults they really believe they are still in class with the children

That's a very good explanation, Soutpeel, but I still insist that they should try to change the bad attitude they have towards other people and especially foreigners.

If they carry this attitude in the class, I feel sorry for the kids they are teaching.

Of course, there are always exceptions.

Actually i would suggest that you grow up and get on with your life. Are you that insecure that you need reassurance that everyone likes you? Why do you need the 'feel good ' factor? I am a teacher and have been here 9 years, i have friends that are Farang and Thai, there are a lot of Farangs who i don't bother with..............so what? If you take out the sex tourists, the piss heads, and the backpackers, what percentage of Farang are you left with that you really want to talk to ? A lot of the "Lord of the Manor" Farangs i wouldn't want to bother with anyway. Most of the time they only want to tell you what they used to do, how great they are, how much money they have........................it gets really boring after a while.

[iamariva1957]

I have spent the last few years wondering the same thing here in LOS. I actually live up in the North West of the country (Mae Sot) and am a teacher myself. I have to say that anywhere I go in this country the local people are far more friendly than any of my fellow Farangs who never give me a smile (though there are from me) and always seem to be far more interested in protecting themselves from something. What is that they are protecting themselves from regarding me? I am from California. I am therefore laid back and love the beach! LOL. I am 57. I am clean shaven. I dress appropriately. I am not drunk. Am always willing to help where I can and am trustworthy and polite to everyone. But still it amazes me that my fellow travelers look at me as if we are in NYC and passing each other on say 43rd Street and 2nd Avenue on the way to a meeting. Why is this? So to the OP... good question. To those that have posted that "we do not need to pick up strays" maybe you are the reason there are few if any smiles coming from other Farangs when we pass them on the street. As for BKK... okay we get it. The rest of the world thinks that if you are from the West and in BKK,,, or for that matter in Thailand as a whole... you are only there for the sex trade. But that, as we all know, is not the case. This country is beautiful, the people are wonderful, and hell it is cheaper to live in than where we called home once upon a time. Sure there are problems. Sure we are all human. But would it hurt to stick together as foreigners in a foreign land? So next time try and smile. If you get one back.. say, "Hi" or something nice. It can get really lonely here when you are so far from 'home'. It is just polite and rather nice to smile once in a while and to receive on that does not come with a price tag.

[Rorri]

I simply smile at everyone and nod my head, occasionally I say hi, I will talk to people if they talk to me but I am happy to just do my own thing. Having friends is great but I am also happy to be by myself, I have learnt to do this throughout my life, living in the outback and on a farm as well as with a disability, if I could not enjoy my own company it would have made it hard. Maybe you need to learn to enjoy your own company as well and not rely on others to help you out all the time, it is a part of life skills. You cannot rely on others to make your day enjoyable, get a hobby, find something you enjoy doing, do a course or go to uni, these are also areas you can meet other people that have the same interests. Simply expecting everyone to fall over themselves to be a friend is just not going to happen, if they have other things on their minds they probably dont even notice you, its not being ignorant, it is living their own lives. Yes there are those that will never acknowledge others for whatever reasons but you cannot put it all on them, you need to be able to accept your own company first, once you can do that then you might find it easier to associate with others.

Well said, one of the more intelligent comments, I live and do the same, except my Aussie heritage shows through, a nod, a smile and a G'day.

[Ruin]

There are some misfits in Thailand who wouldn't fit in anywhere but generally there are a lot of great expats in this country, iyt is a really cosmopolitan place and they get on better here with other nationalities than in many other parts.

I remember being at a Thanksgiving table with American, Brit, Indian, Japanese, French, Aussie, Swiss and German mates all getting along well

[timber]

Of course you are generalizing. Farangs in Thailand are not the normal run of people in North America.

Expats that I know pretty well say the same thing. Look at the person approaching you and if he maintains

eye contact say hello, if not well so be it. Not worth worrying about. Hmmm... I guess you have a point

about a lot of farangs are a bit odd. There are a lot that would appreciate meeting you

[singing4aliving]

I am so sorry, you are making this experience, however be assured, not all of us teachers are that way. You have to realize, many of them are not real teachers and couldn't get ahead in their own Country and feeling like a looser at home and now doing something important will rise to the head of many. I have been a real teacher for over 30 years and find it most rewarding to teach in Thailand.My collueges are the best and down to earth just like me, but that might be, because all of us are older.

Don't hang yourself on the wrong people and think like this...if they are not interested in you, they don't deserve you or deserve being around you. I can suggest ajarn.com to you to find good friends and aquaintances. Don't look in bars or such for friends, you won't find any.

I do agree with you, many expats are very stuck up and I don't understand it either, but whatever...try to enjoy your stay here and look at the positive sides...there are many things to do here other then go and get drunk...you will make friends, maybe try to stick with Thai people for a while until you sort out the trash from the real thing...many blessings and much luck to you...A teacher who cares without that chip on my shoulder

[tingtongtingtong]

Teacher bashing thread...shooting fish in a barrel...

They are probably over worked and exhausted to even lift smile and have the stupid bureaucratic junk drilled into them from government Thai school's that of: looking smart, acting smart, be respectable, act like the Thai teachers etc etc not what you actually teach (it slowly rubs off on you).

Then again have you ever asked a question on ajarn forum, the majority on there are a bunch of self righteous pricks!? (as a posed to older racist self righteous pricks on TV...whats left? Back packers at khao san?...70% of the past friendships I have made in Thailand with a western have turned messy, if I was a gambling man I wouldn't bother.

Plus I live in Bangkok, it's like London, no one talks much just gets on with it and I am fro the north of England where everyone smiles and talks to everyone.

I taught English in Thailand for 3 and a half year to return to the UK to do my teacher training (PGCE) to make a career of teaching and to distance my self from these cowboys in Thailand to now hopefully focus on international schools or top end English teaching.

Instead of spending a Monday afternoon playing on your computer try spend Monday to Friday and some weekends with 50-60 screaming Thai teenagers, being worked into the ground, plus all the BS from the school and then get paid peanuts and then see if you smile and say 'Hi' to random people...

Maybe you should move?

Edited February 3, 2014 by tingtongtingtong

[seajae]

I simply smile at everyone and nod my head, occasionally I say hi, I will talk to people if they talk to me but I am happy to just do my own thing. Having friends is great but I am also happy to be by myself, I have learnt to do this throughout my life, living in the outback and on a farm as well as with a disability, if I could not enjoy my own company it would have made it hard. Maybe you need to learn to enjoy your own company as well and not rely on others to help you out all the time, it is a part of life skills. You cannot rely on others to make your day enjoyable, get a hobby, find something you enjoy doing, do a course or go to uni, these are also areas you can meet other people that have the same interests. Simply expecting everyone to fall over themselves to be a friend is just not going to happen, if they have other things on their minds they probably dont even notice you, its not being ignorant, it is living their own lives. Yes there are those that will never acknowledge others for whatever reasons but you cannot put it all on them, you need to be able to accept your own company first, once you can do that then you might find it easier to associate with others.

Well said, one of the more intelligent comments, I live and do the same, except my Aussie heritage shows through, a nod, a smile and a G'day.

I say g'day as well, dead give away as to where we are from, usually just get stares back at me though trying to work out what I was saying, usually its just "g'day mate" but totally confuses them.

[Suradit69]

Mostly, I just think you are by and large a group of old, stodgy farts. 90% of Thaivisa posts reflect this. Selfish, small minded, fearful, fastfood addicts and eternal lonesone Louie's. Stuck in your ways coming to Thailand to have someone half your age pay attention to you.

Mostly all the old farts I pass in the street just look out of place. Like its a hot struggle to exist moving themselves from.one ac building to the next.

Heaven help us the retiree, bored that has decided he wants to teach out of sheer loneliness. Double so when they have no degree.

Leave the teachers alone :-)

"Heaven help us the retiree, bored that has decided he wants to teach out of sheer loneliness. Double so when they have no degree.

Leave the teachers alone :-) "

More like heaven help the students who get an unqualified, inexperienced teacher whose sole motivation is to resolve his loneliness by getting chummy with children in a classroom.

[Tonjackie]

I agree with your comments very much, I have lived here 9 years and find "Most" farangs , especially teachers, very stuck up!

Just because, maybe, they are better educated than most they think they are special?

We are all made the same but what we do with our lives is up to us!

I have learnt to live in a very quiet area , Phetchaburi, away from the Falang population and live a very happy life amongst Thai people. Who can also be difficult to understand sometimes.

We will be very happy to befriend you, if you so desire?

Good Luck & God Bless.

[HooHaa]

Spend Monday to Friday and some weekends with 50-60 screaming Thai teenagers plus all the BS from the school and get paid peanuts and then see if you smile and say 'Hi' to random people..

why on earth would i do that?

[HooHaa]

Spend Monday to Friday and some weekends with 50-60 screaming Thai teenagers plus all the BS from the school and get paid peanuts and then see if you smile and say 'Hi' to random people..

why on earth would i do that?

[speedtripler]

I agree with your comments very much, I have lived here 9 years and find "Most" farangs , especially teachers, very stuck up!

Just because, maybe, they are better educated than most they think they are special?

I pity your education if its sub-standard to the western lowlifes calling themselves 'teachers" around thailand

[chrisinth]

I don't normally talk to people in the streets unless they wai first, thumbs to forehead. It is a good indication that they are teachers and are practicing what they have been taught on their compulsory cultural course.

I am more likely however to pay more attention on here where my posts are picked up for spelling or grammatical mistakes. Again, another good indication of someone from the educational world, but there does appear to be a lot of wanna-bees as well.

For the sake of clarity, all the above is rubbish, just joking..........................

[tingtongtingtong]

Spend Monday to Friday and some weekends with 50-60 screaming Thai teenagers plus all the BS from the school and get paid peanuts and then see if you smile and say 'Hi' to random people..

why on earth would i do that?

exactly

[lmaxv]

I find the number of assumptions made here amazing, though not surprising. These people may be "stuck up" but they may also be very unsure of themselves and not responding to others is a defense mechanism, a lack of experience living in other cultures. They just may be a bit intimidated by their surroundings. Each person you encounter is an individual and jumping to conclusions and forming a blanket explanation will not do you or anyone else any good. Keep smiling and saying hello to people. I for one would miss it if it ceased to happen here!

[brianP]

Now that those studies are out showing that people who smile often live 10 years longer,

[Notable]

The best thing to do is live in the most rural location you can where there are very few ex pats. That's my ultimate plan, the Thais will accept you if you can speak Thai and you won't have to listen to the constantly moaning falangs, visas, girls, culture you name it you wonder why they're here really. Oh yeh it's cheaper than their own country, where they used to sit and moan about everything also.

[Notable]

The best thing to do is live in the most rural location you can where there are very few ex pats. That's my ultimate plan, the Thais will accept you if you can speak Thai and you won't have to listen to the constantly moaning falangs, visas, girls, culture you name it you wonder why they're here really. Oh yeh it's cheaper than their own country, where they used to sit and moan about everything also.

[Yooyung]

I have lived here for quite a while and have experienced this. I think , as far as I am concerned there is a feeling, that so many people that come here dont hang around for more than 6 months or a year. I am also guilty of doing this to an extent. Its hard to invest time in getting to know every other farang that you meet, when in all likelyhood they wont be around for long. I am not impolite but I think some would think that I am distant. I have got to the point where I have a smallish circle of friends that are here long term. I also have made some Thai friends. Being a teacher here you get to see just how high the turnover rate of is for newbie wannabe expats. It gets to the point that you just become satisfied with your family and long term, stable friends. It may be a bit sad but I cant be bothered anymore. I am a helpful and likeable person, but getting to know me on more than the surface level is probably harder these days. There is no excuse for rudeness though.

[tingtongtingtong]

Teachers can be an odd bunch. It's easy to label, even teachers do. I teach primary and think primary school teachers are more fun (or crazy) and secondary more stuck up, which of course is wrong...

But they are odd ('real' teachers even more so). Even when I teach in the UK I have posting notes and reminders every where and a 'To Do List' which is a monstrous joke.

General thoughts while walking from the car to the entrance to the school: "...Jack forgot his swimming trunks again, must send a letter home, Dam! Forgot to put the books i marked in the boot or the car, inspection today, how can I incorporate little Xien who speaks no English into my simple, compound and complex lesson plan, the head wants us to implement the new behavior management policy this week, what was that again? They are just not getting the concept of negative numbers how can I make it more engaging, Assessment Pupil Profiling needs done, grades are low the head wants my neck, parent meeting tonight and I have to mark them books an write a week of differentiated (3-4 ways) lesson plans for every subject for the ofsted observation looks like it will be another 4 hours sleep only for me tonight, Brandon left his dinner money yesterday must remember to give him it back, what was I told this morning about Sally which was important, dam! should have wrote it down...Hold on did that lonely looking old man just smile and say 'hi' to me or did I imagine it???!! I hope he doesn't think I am rude.....maybe he is one of the parents (more problems/issues?)"

(but I wouldn't want it any other way)

Edited February 3, 2014 by tingtongtingtong

[freedom4life]

More like hang-ups than stuck-ups....wherever they're from, they generally bring with them and the rest of the world must tune in; it's a true general perception with most western-expats.....Those reading this will either agree or become upset..if the latter being the case, I will be alienated for it or regarded as something worse, in their minds. The worst of this kind are in positions of responsibility or so-called authority, outside their home-country. These are the ones you have to watch out for. Eventually these kinds of expats find themselves in trouble, often hated, beaten or on the run. Avoid them like any old plague; they're not worthy of your sincerity.

[Torrens54]

Simple. You haven't been introduced. You need to send your butler round with a calling card first.

Spot on! Do that and they'll crawl through raw sewage to come and kiss your feet (and any other part of your anatomy that you may feel appropriate.)

Don't worry about them mate, if they think they are "better" than we mere mortals, who cares?

Move to Chiang Mai....everyone talks to everyone here.

[tingtongtingtong]

It'ssix of one and half a dozen of the other.

ajarnforum: bunch of stuck up teachers who think TV forum is a bunch of old stuck up sex-pats

TV forum: a bunch of old stuck up sex-pats who think ajarnforum is a bunch of stuck up teachers

....hell if we are going to blanket label lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qh2sWSVRrmo

Edited February 3, 2014 by tingtongtingtong

[brianP]

Talking to a person ,used to be called verbal intercourse, i never shun shawn or anyone.

[Napht10nz]

I am a teacher from New Zealand, here in thailand find you post very interesting, not all teachers are like that but do agree with you. I find expats from European countries to be the ones very cold and stuck up. Many times said hi and had the look who the F*** are you, 555.

[blazes]

Walking along in Chiang Mai [no one else walking, cos Thais never walk anywhere], farang walking towards me. Just him and me. Whiteys. All alone on the road. But in a big city.

Hesitate: should I smile at this guy? just take that brief look and try to size him up? just pass on and look the other way?

Always look the other way. Just as I would back in my home country.

However, I have tried the experiment of smiling at Thai pooying [of all ages] as I walk along. Probably 90% respond with a smile. Back in my own country, try the same thing. Maybe 10% respond with a smile, and some look like they are ready to call the cops.....