First time in Kalasin

[Dannyboy6]

There is a Awesome Temple outside of town , Huge and Purple...

[ozyjon]

You are in thailand, in the village, they offer a bag of good quality rice, and some food,, i would not bring any gifts as they will ignore them, take the family to Tesco Lotus, let them get a few trolley carts and go shopping, for food and have a party, at night buy a few bottles of the cheap whisky, only a few dollars per bottle, a case of soda water and the ice can be got in the village,, don't carry too many big notes of 1000 baht because when they put their hand out you will be expected to pay,, change to many 100 baht and they will be happy with the donation,,just remember the buffalo.

[winstonc]

Ignore the idiots making comments who know nothing about real Isaan culture and it's people. Just be happy, polite and yourself. Take one of those presentation baskets of "Brand(s)" and pay for a BBQ and some beers for the family meal. You might also pick up some badminton rackets and a football; the kids in the moo baan will love it and have you out playing all day.

Enjoy, Kalasin is an awesome place to chill out.

calm down how rich you think he is its only 1 sodding night if he goes splashing the cash...very tacky.from our point of view but to them they stick to his wallet like a limpet..dont give money just go for a nice meal and relax...its not like there all going to be chatting to you about the 6 nations just on..

[ggt]

Don't bother with a gift , it won't mean anything. Just bung her a tenner ( 500bt ) for some food and she'll be over the moon.

Spray the bedroom with bug spray before you go to bed , you'll be fine. You're only staying one night so it'll be a novelty , you might even like it but i doubt it.

Don't forget to throw gf's boy friend out of your bed before you go to sleep.

This comment was so classless and unnecessary...bad form my friend...

[khunPer]

»What can I take as a small gift for my girlfriend's mum? I just want something small to take for her, possibly something from the uk that she cannot cannot get in Thailand?«

Have been through something similar. Best thing is to ask your GF. Often some delicious food makes more sense, like durian or…

Better than a gift from UK will be some food from the market – expect to buy for an extended family and spend maybe 500 or 1000 baht – and cash money when you leave, like 1000 baht; but ask your GF to get the right idea of what may be expected.

Wish you a good trip…

[theyoungone]

Thanks very much for all the replies, some great information there and I will certainly take all of that on board – much appreciated gents. I don’t want to throw money at them, just wanted to find out what would be a polite gesture to say thanks for the offer of letting me stay.

Wow - a lot of haters on here. I thought older chaps were supposed to have good manners?! I guess you left them in the bar, or maybe in the house that youown but no longer live in?

Sent from my GT-I9505 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[smotherb]

DON'T BRING ANYTHING FROM THE UK......DO NOT GIVE ANY GIFT.....NEVER NEVER NEVER GIVE MONEY TO ANY FAMILY MEMBER ESPECIALLY YOUR GF....

BUT

I AM SURE YOU WON'T TAKE THIS ADVISE

SO

ONCE YOU GIVE....YOU WILL ALWAYS BE EXPECTED TO GIVE MORE AND BIGGER AND BETTER....MORE MORE MORE MORE

ARE YOU SMELLIN' ME YET?

GOOD LUCK SUCKER

Some thruth here. I advise common sense--1) you and your gf are from differing cultures, 2) realize that neither of you can entirely survive in the other's culture, 3) create a third culture of your own, discard cultural idiosyncracies you dislike in her culture and ones she dislikes in yours.

I stress individualism vs. collectivism; in other words, I take care of myself, the one who shares my bed, and those born of that bed. Guarantee her family that you will give them exactly as much money as they give your family.

[khaowong1]

Let your girlfriend buy the present, or presents. We farangs never know what they like, except money. Take a mosquito net and spray or lotion and toilet paper. Get some medicine for heartburn and upset stomach.. Thai food in Thailand is nothing like it is in Jolly old England. Soccer jerseys for kids, brothers and papa.. Have fun...

[nongsangcity]

One night should be ok......don't buy them anything as it wont be appreciated ,,,,what ever you give it want be enough...so give them nothing....what they never had they will never miss...don't make any suggestions on improving their house as they will have a builders truck outside the front door next day at 6 am with materials to make any improvements you suggested and be expecting you to pay...go there for one day bite the bullet and get out ASAP............I ve lived in the jungle village 10 years I ve seen enough here to write a book....foolish falangs who are smart people in their own lands suddenly come here and get their pants pulled down, don't go down that route....

[kingstonkid]

Hey OP

You have heard from the experts and the trolls.

I am only going to give you one bit of advice.

Keep the Gf close by.

When in doubt find gf to get answer.

No matter what smile. Enjoy expect that yo will be sleeping in a seperate area and act surprised if it is any different.

Enjoy what they serve. Try a little bit no matter what.

Drink only bottled water that you unsnapped.

Remember this is her family and it is the same as if you were meeting a Brit gf family. You are in love with her and will not if she is out of the UK be seeing that much of them.

This trip is not for your benefit. It is strictly her show from start to finish. She is bringing her BF home so that Mom and Dad can see how handsome and smart you are.

Do not let her down.

It is only for a few nights and days so live with it.

do not have the holier than thou attitude that some expats have.

You are in Rome an when in Rome .........

[MickGC]

Just relax and go with the flow. If you trust her, your gf will get it sorted. Give her the money. Probably pay for a family party. Good food and drink is number one. The lads will most likely get blind drunk, but that is no different to back home. When you feel you've had enough, quietly say goodnight to mum and the missus and sneak off to bed. Not a big deal saying goodnight/goodbye here. In the morning you will be a champion. Cheers.

[sirchai]

In the end, it doesn't really matter when your gf gives birth to coal black child, when you believe in her. Or was it when you like to be in her?

I think Alzheimer isn't appropriate when posting. What did I just say? Okay, Songkran's coming next month.-

[Dannyboy6]

Hey OP

You have heard from the experts and the trolls.

I am only going to give you one bit of advice.

Keep the Gf close by.

When in doubt find gf to get answer.

No matter what smile. Enjoy expect that yo will be sleeping in a seperate area and act surprised if it is any different.

Enjoy what they serve. Try a little bit no matter what.

Drink only bottled water that you unsnapped.

Remember this is her family and it is the same as if you were meeting a Brit gf family. You are in love with her and will not if she is out of the UK be seeing that much of them.

This trip is not for your benefit. It is strictly her show from start to finish. She is bringing her BF home so that Mom and Dad can see how handsome and smart you are.

Do not let her down.

It is only for a few nights and days so live with it.

do not have the holier than thou attitude that some expats have.

You are in Rome an when in Rome .........

I live in Isaan 6 months a year, have never tried their food ever, I don't eat field rat, or any other delicacies up here, they understand Farang stomach, cannot ,too spicy or allergy , gf can explain...

[hotrod4098]

by going to the village it is to show him...so later on he will be requested to give large lumps of cash for everything they wont..

all villages are the same..they want falangs money..and that wont change..

air con dont bother..they dont like paying the electric bill....the list is endless..

do what i done..sit on my hands..does calls problems...but it your cash...not the family

[doodly]

Go and have a pint in Scotts Bar very close to Kalasin Bus Station , the locals will fill you in on what a wonderful place it is to live .

[dao16]

by going to the village it is to show him...so later on he will be requested to give large lumps of cash for everything they wont..

all villages are the same..they want falangs money..and that wont change..

air con dont bother..they dont like paying the electric bill....the list is endless..

do what i done..sit on my hands..does calls problems...but it your cash...not the family

True, the air con suggestion from before is pretty much moot--most houses in the countryside can't hold in the cool air (some can). Still, giving the family or the gf some cash is not bad, or he can just pay for a party--some food and drink and everybody has a good time. It's his money and he can say no when he doesn't want to give. Obviously, he shouldn't shower them with cash, but a little expenditure here or there won't really mess it up, as long as he has the fortitude to say "no" later on.

[Gonsalviz]

Don't bother with a gift , it won't mean anything. Just bung her a tenner ( 500bt ) for some food and she'll be over the moon.

Spray the bedroom with bug spray before you go to bed , you'll be fine. You're only staying one night so it'll be a novelty , you might even like it but i doubt it.

Don't forget to throw gf's boy friend out of your bed before you go to sleep.

And do not forget, you marry the entire family, including the above mentioned boyfriend(s)

but he doesn't have to have sex with them, as the gf already does. But they also live there and use the farang money. Haaar.!!

Twits.

[Gonsalviz]

Don't bother with a gift , it won't mean anything. Just bung her a tenner ( 500bt ) for some food and she'll be over the moon.

Spray the bedroom with bug spray before you go to bed , you'll be fine. You're only staying one night so it'll be a novelty , you might even like it but i doubt it.

Was gonna say 1000.

[Gonsalviz]

1,000 baht, a fan and a net. They may have the latter 2. Ask.

Oh yeah, the food maybe a trip. Don't watch it being prepared just eat if you can.

Edited April 10, 2014 by Gonsalviz

[sirchai]

I'd reckon to bring one, or preferably two, male and female of the endangered animals of Germany's Bavaria, also called " Wolpertinger."

Please page me and I'll get you a good couple. See photo, please. ( Farang to Farang price of course..).-

Edited April 10, 2014 by sirchai

[Slinky1958]

My advise 2 rai of land a car and some gold to start off small

[jomcondo]

I would stay in a local hotel and just visit for the afternoon.

sometimes the girl may appear fairly honest but the family lurking behind are a bunch of devious rats.

[khunPer]

Thanks very much for all the replies, some great information there and I will certainly take all of that on board – much appreciated gents. I don’t want to throw money at them, just wanted to find out what would be a polite gesture to say thanks for the offer of letting me stay.

Wow - a lot of haters on here. I thought older chaps were supposed to have good manners?! I guess you left them in the bar, or maybe in the house that youown but no longer live in?

Sent from my GT-I9505 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

May I give you a kind advise – also so you learn, that “throwing money” is very Polite in Thailand – get hand on the book “Thailand Fever” by Chris Pirazzi and Vitada Vasant (Paiboon Publishing, THAILANDFEVER.COM). The book is written in both English and Thai, and you GF may learn a lot from it as well, as it also describes how the “farang think”. But especially the chapter about meeting the parents may interest you. My experience is, that that book can save one from a lot of misunderstandings and problems – wish they had written the book before my first visit to meet parents up in an Isaan village…

[ubonrthai]

Scented lotion. Coming from the U.S. we always bring back lotions from Bath & Body Works as gifts for women. Costs $8 and they'll make it last forever. Also, you can never go wrong bringing some kind of food gift. My wife's family enjoys beef jerky we bring back.

Everything else with regards to bugs and food depends on the family. Most people usually have mosquito nets in the house. Don't stay in a hotel and hang out with local expats if you're there for a day. Respect your girlfriend and learn about her background.

Edited April 10, 2014 by ubonrthai

[RedQualia]

Lots of folks generalizing their own situations to yours. But we don't know you, your gf or her family. You've been invited to "stay on the farm," and so that says a lot. Stay on the farm if you can. You don't know where the farm is. It could be far out in the sticks, down a highway, up a soi, off another soi, down a dirt/mud lane, back to a highway somewhere, and then behind cousin Somchai's farm. You don't need to be trying to find it on your own. And you'll be fine out there. As others have indicated, take a mosquito net. You don't want to be without, and IMO, they're better than slathering chemicals all over your body.

Consider yourself to be "one of them" to the greatest extent possible. No need to present yourself as somehow above them. They don't want to see that. Eat what's served, even if you have to look the other way (I'm not fond of cooked blood, but will eat it when offered). You won't die. Your system probably can't handle the local water yet, so ya - be careful about the water you drink (for now, at least).

Yes, take them shopping if you can. Sure, you could go to Tesco Lotus, but that's kind of a farang place. Take them to the central Kalasin city market. They'll find everything they want there and have fun, and you'll find the visit quite educational. The place is huge. If you spend 3-4,000 Baht (you probably won't), then so what? That's less than the cost of a night for a room in most hotels back in the states. And in many of the hotels in Bangkok as well.

The shopping trip to the central Kalasin city market will be mostly for food. But somewhere around Kalasin, it should be possible to pick up a nice, big, TALL electric fan. Electric fans wear out, get noisy, always need replacing, and there are never enough. Especially on a farm with no air conditioning. 600-1,000 Baht. Perfect gift? You could use it the first night, maybe even.

If you can't TAKE them shopping, then do the shopping yourself. Get a kilo of nice, lean pork and some charcoal. Put yourself on barbecue duty once out to the farm. Show them you're not helpless. That's usually good for earning LOTS of points.

Don't worry about the cost of visiting your in-laws (in-laws to be?). Lots of folks here have been in Thailand so long that they forget what the costs of living in the western world are like. They get their panties tied in knots if they even think they might be abused out of 50 baht by someone. I find "the annual cost" of my in-laws down on the farm to be somewhat less than the cost my US in-laws were each Christmas morning. And that includes the western style toilet, the water heater hanging on the outhouse wall, the new metal kitchen sink on legs, and all the water pipe I had to buy when I was digging up my mom-in-law's old water system and putting in a new one (what's a bit of labor?). Oh yeah... Also a new circuit breaker box, which I installed myself (no big thing, handling the power meter out on the pole).

What I would really most like to get my mom-in-law is new knees. Hers are shot from 75 years of squating. Yes, they cost far less here than they do back in the world. But when paying out of pocket, they're still mighty expensive. Who knows -- maybe I'll find the money somewhere, sometime soon. She is a wonderful, sweet, extremely Buddhist woman, and I'd do most anything I could for her. Indeed, almost all those in my wife's family are really fantastic people. I couldn't ask for a better extended family.

Very important - do not get angry about anything. Do not try to impose your western sensibilities on people in the village. Do not make moral judgments of any kind. If they do something non-Christian, so what? They're (probably) not Christian. If you find someone to be a bit of an <deleted>, no problem... Keep it to yourself. You'll be gone soon enough.

Above all, have fun. You've got a great opportunity here.

Edited April 10, 2014 by RedQualia

[F4UCorsair]

Small gift? Forget that. Thai mothers only accept LARGE gifts, and the bite will go on for sin sot. Keep you hands in your pockets, say nothing, sign nothing.

[sirchai]

I'm in Kamalasai for Songkran - it's only a short drive from Kalasin. It's hot here and the mossies are a pain - I suggest simply buying some spray or lotion from 7-Eleven. Your night's sleep will be with or without the GF? Either way, I can't imagine the family would expose you to the elements!

Gift-wise, take some gold if you can afford it (a necklace would be a good choice) otherwise get something which clearly shows that it's from England/UK !! Hope this helps.

Which clearly shows it's from England. Let's see. Fish n' Chips, or Chips n' Fish.-

[sirchai]

Lots of folks generalizing their own situations to yours. But we don't know you, your gf or her family. You've been invited to "stay on the farm," and so that says a lot. Stay on the farm if you can. You don't know where the farm is. It could be far out in the sticks, down a highway, up a soi, off another soi, down a dirt/mud lane, back to a highway somewhere, and then behind cousin Somchai's farm. You don't need to be trying to find it on your own. And you'll be fine out there. As others have indicated, take a mosquito net. You don't want to be without, and IMO, they're better than slathering chemicals all over your body.

Consider yourself to be "one of them" to the greatest extent possible. No need to present yourself as somehow above them. They don't want to see that. Eat what's served, even if you have to look the other way (I'm not fond of cooked blood, but will eat it when offered). You won't die. Your system probably can't handle the local water yet, so ya - be careful about the water you drink (for now, at least).

Yes, take them shopping if you can. Sure, you could go to Tesco Lotus, but that's kind of a farang place. Take them to the central Kalasin city market. They'll find everything they want there and have fun, and you'll find the visit quite educational. The place is huge. If you spend 3-4,000 Baht (you probably won't), then so what? That's less than the cost of a night for a room in most hotels back in the states. And in many of the hotels in Bangkok as well.

The shopping trip to the central Kalasin city market will be mostly for food. But somewhere around Kalasin, it should be possible to pick up a nice, big, TALL electric fan. Electric fans wear out, get noisy, always need replacing, and there are never enough. Especially on a farm with no air conditioning. 600-1,000 Baht. Perfect gift? You could use it the first night, maybe even.

If you can't TAKE them shopping, then do the shopping yourself. Get a kilo of nice, lean pork and some charcoal. Put yourself on barbecue duty once out to the farm. Show them you're not helpless. That's usually good for earning LOTS of points.

Don't worry about the cost of visiting your in-laws (in-laws to be?). Lots of folks here have been in Thailand so long that they forget what the costs of living in the western world are like. They get their panties tied in knots if they even think they might be abused out of 50 baht by someone. I find "the annual cost" of my in-laws down on the farm to be somewhat less than the cost my US in-laws were each Christmas morning. And that includes the western style toilet, the water heater hanging on the outhouse wall, the new metal kitchen sink on legs, and all the water pipe I had to buy when I was digging up my mom-in-law's old water system and putting in a new one (what's a bit of labor?). Oh yeah... Also a new circuit breaker box, which I installed myself (no big thing, handling the power meter out on the pole).

What I would really most like to get my mom-in-law is new knees. Hers are shot from 75 years of squating. Yes, they cost far less here than they do back in the world. But when paying out of pocket, they're still mighty expensive. Who knows -- maybe I'll find the money somewhere, sometime soon. She is a wonderful, sweet, extremely Buddhist woman, and I'd do most anything I could for her. Indeed, almost all those in my wife's family are really fantastic people. I couldn't ask for a better extended family.

Very important - do not get angry about anything. Do not try to impose your western sensibilities on people in the village. Do not make moral judgments of any kind. If they do something non-Christian, so what? They're (probably) not Christian. If you find someone to be a bit of an <deleted>, no problem... Keep it to yourself. You'll be gone soon enough.

Above all, have fun. You've got a great opportunity here.

God, were you on Magic Mushrooms , when you wrote that stuff, or do you always write like that? Holy coconut.-Keep it to yourself.-Harr Harr

[sirchai]

Scented lotion. Coming from the U.S. we always bring back lotions from Bath & Body Works as gifts for women. Costs $8 and they'll make it last forever. Also, you can never go wrong bringing some kind of food gift. My wife's family enjoys beef jerky we bring back.

Everything else with regards to bugs and food depends on the family. Most people usually have mosquito nets in the house. Don't stay in a hotel and hang out with local expats if you're there for a day. Respect your girlfriend and learn about her background.

Stay two nights at the Nana hotel without your gf, take all the shower and bath gel and give that to them.Tell them you bought it in Paris....

Edited April 11, 2014 by sirchai

[monkey4u]

Don't bother with a gift , it won't mean anything. Just bung her a tenner ( 500bt ) for some food and she'll be over the moon.

Spray the bedroom with bug spray before you go to bed , you'll be fine. You're only staying one night so it'll be a novelty , you might even like it but i doubt it.

Don't forget to throw gf's boy friend out of your bed before you go to sleep.

You are 1 sick puppy