What does it take to make a person react to aggressive and rude behaviour

[slipperylobster]

Go ahead and ram them or pop them in the schnozz if it would make you feel better.

Run like hell after you do....

You will otherwise be brought down in a blaze of glory, defending your farangness.

Of course, you will be responsible.

[thaibeachlovers]

Last week, I was driving an English guy to the hospital, because he had a motorbike accident. On the way to the hospital (5 km) we saw two other accidents. It IS much much more dangerous to drive here.

Was he riding a big bike? I see many farang bike riders on big bikes that drive like they have a right to ride like crazies.

[papa al]

Go ahead and ram them or pop them in the schnozz if it would make you feel better.

Thanks for a succinct, well balanced and thoughtful reply.

Now read the thread title again and this time answer the question asked!

You're welcome.

No thanks.

(You forgot to say please!)

[Amavel]

They cut in line, I cut right back in front of them, turn and smile, always smile.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[55Jay]

They cut in line, I cut right back in front of them, turn and smile, always smile.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Ha ha, yep. I usually pause and wave my hand to the offending butt head and signal, "Yes, please go in front of me".

They smile back rather sheepishly, take a step back and allow me to carry on to the counter.

Then again this is a small town outside Korat. Maybe bright lights and bit city places with more farangs are less polite (when challenged).

[Scarpolo]

They cut in line, I cut right back in front of them, turn and smile, always smile.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Ha ha, yep. I usually pause and wave my hand to the offending butt head and signal, "Yes, please go in front of me".

They smile back rather sheepishly, take a step back and allow me to carry on to the counter.

Then again this is a small town outside Korat. Maybe bright lights and bit city places with more farangs are less polite (when challenged).

I learned to ignore them all, while at the same time, being friendly,

but I am also 6' 185 and most Thai's dont want to cut me off anyway but it happened, mostly by teen age girls who too advantage of a distraction in a big C, or large store with many cashiers,so another few seconds didnt bother me,

but I did have to tap a guy on the shoulder at an ATM in a mall who cut off many people

[takkatan in the land]

limited inteligence and lack of education are mostly the reason

[Scarpolo]

limited inteligence and lack of education are mostly the reason

it's unfair to state they are less intelligent,

the chinese, who many may descendant of, surely challenge that argument,

the heat has more to do with a lower energy level, which may affect brain power,

but to state they are less intelligent, is too broad.

in many ways, they are smarter than many westerners,

just ask the one's who get swindled

[wellred]

I would recommend the next time you over hear someone talking bad about, walk up to them and slap them once in the face.

Perhaps learn some schmucky Thai phrase to embarrass them 'ai hia' usually does the trick.

[benalibina]

limited inteligence and lack of education are mostly the reason

it's unfair to state they are less intelligent,

the chinese, who many may descendant of, surely challenge that argument,

the heat has more to do with a lower energy level, which may affect brain power,

but to state they are less intelligent, is too broad.

in many ways, they are smarter than many westerners,

just ask the one's who get swindled

Smarter...cha laat maj bo ri sud...........streetwise is not the same as intelligence.......more survival of the fittest.....

[benalibina]

I would recommend the next time you over hear someone talking bad about, walk up to them and slap them once in the face.

Perhaps learn some schmucky Thai phrase to embarrass them 'ai hia' usually does the trick.

My SIL called me like that....to add....nee

[wellred]

Another good one is maybe getting their attention and pointing to your feet and then to them. Or even taking off 1 flip flop and pointing it at them.

Tbh I read too much about farangs worrying about disrespecting Thais and in the meantime they are doing just that left right and centre. There's nothing wrong with pulling someone up on their manners if handled correctly.

[ppmacready]

Ive lived happily in Thailand for nearly 2 decades now.

I think you need a good sense of humour to survive here.

Normally, I'm the first in line to point out the faults, with what would be unbelievable storys in the UK.

Now heres my unbelievable story.

And the only conclusion I can draw is, maybe he is what's known as a genetic throw back?

From times long ago in Thailand.

It was 7pm in Bangkok.

Annoyingly several taxis refused to take take us to where we wanted to go.

Another pulled over.

He wasn't going the way we wanted to go.

But he invited us to get in and he would drop us in an area easier to get a taxi.

When asked to put the meter on, he refused and said he wanted no payment as he wasn't actually taking us to our chosen destination.

I could feel a confrontation brewing when we got out!

Meanwhile I changed the destination to a train station, because of the traffic.

Its was quite a long way as it turned out, and I got out 100 baht as a tip for his generosity.

When we stopped, I tried to get him to take it and he refused.

I really wanted him to take it more than any tip I think I've offered in my life.

And yet he staunchly still refused.

Enjoy Songhram, he said as I got out of the cab.

I didn't get his badge number.

I wish I had .

Cos, surely his the guy who should have a say in the running of Thailand, I told my daughter Jazz!

[nottocus]

"do not even begin to consider the possibility that I did not understand you. I got every word. Not all farengs are dumb, as you think. There is a reason why we win all the pulitzers, nobel peace prizes, academy awards, and peabody awards".

Overkill.

[JDGRUEN]

To balance my story about the lady barging in front of me at the check out counter, here is a little positive story about my short stay here in Saraburi... I thought I had researched well for a low cost hotel in Saraburi... Google maps error - two sites plotted for the same hotel ... one near the bus and train stations - the other much further north ... had to go to the real one several kilometers away - the hotel was awful. I went to Big C the next day ... up on the 3rd floor looking out the window for new buildings - spotted one across the klong ... went to look - found a great little brand new hotel / apartment complex. The people were nice and helpful ... I was able to check right in... They assisted getting a tuk tuk to go get my bags. This little unadvertised hotel is just dandy - new - clean - roomy and more... One desk clerk a Thai - Chinese women who obviously has gone out of her way to learn English has been more than helpful. Coupling her English talent with my emerging Thai skills, I have been able to have all my questions answered about navigating the area, room cleaning times, WiFi finally on, etc. She and the other staff have been friendly and helpful - extending assistance beyond what is required. I couldn't be more pleased. Oh and they are going to keep my baggage in the office past check out time while I wait for my friend to come in the afternoon. Based on everything so far, I trust that my baggage will be secure.

Edited April 23, 2014 by JDGRUEN

[GOLDBUGGY]

Don't lose track of the fact that you are a guess in someone else's country, or house if you like. Keeping this is mind and giving you a scenario, you should be able to answer your own question.

Let's say your Boss invited you and your wife over for dinner one night. You don't like this Boss at all, but you do like your job a lot and the people you work with. This job to you seems much better than the last place you came from. You also need this job so with all things considered, you decide to go.

Now lets' say that during the course of this evening your Boss insulted you or your wife in front of other guess's. You know this was not called for and for no logical reason you can think off. He was just being as Bully, and like he usually is.

So what do you do next?

Do You:

1) Insult him back, or his wife, and call him a A-Hole? Which in turn you retain your pride but also know your job is gone come Monday Morning.

2) Bop him on the nose, which he fully deserved, but has the same result as #1, and perhaps a night in jail and a later court appearance.

3) Ignore what he said but leave gracefully with your wife at the first opportune moment vowing never to return?

While this scenario may seem far different than what you are saying, in a lot of ways it is the same. That when at another persons house as a guess, sometimes the best solution is to just walk away. For sure the safest if you like living here.

Best to let Thai's deal with Thai's. My Thai Wife dislikes rude behaviour like this also, and as much as you do, and when she see's this she reacts like a stick of Dynamite! But surprisingly it happens more with rude Farangs then with rude Thais. I see that myself many times! Mr. Rich Taxi Driver Farang comes here and feels he owns this country and all it's people, who immediately jumps ahead of the line, which he would never do back home.

I also don't think that it is that Thai's just don't like us, and talk behind your back in a way we can hear them. Pretty hard to dislike someone you do not even know. So I think it has more to do with jealousy then hatred towards you personally. They see you with a young and pretty Thai Woman they know they can never have. How people cater to you because you have money and power, which they also know they will never have. So don't take that so personally or act like you are better then them. This just magnifies the problem. It is also the quickest way for you to find out how wrong you were about them.

[Runamile]

@GOLDBUGGY

There are 101 alternative endings to your story, most of them ending when you choose to leave the company, be that resignation first thing Monday morning, with or without notice, through to leaving eventually, having immediately, that weekend, instigated a job search. I'm not sure which action I'd take, it probably depending whether the job was for interest/fun or money, but I do know that I would seize the initiative, albeit not in the heat of the moment.

I fully take your point on jealousy, not that it excuses bad behaviour. Surely, though there are a couple of points in what was or is a Buddhist country. Jealousy, covetousness, is strictly "out". Definite bad karma. Hospitality obligations are definitely, or were definitely "in".

I ask my usual question; "What happened to so many Thai people in so few short years?". Seems to me there must be a huge number of Thai people walking around with extraordinarily bad karma. Presumably they just don't care or centre karmic obligations singularly within the family??

[ayayay]

n210mp

n210mp: could it be construed that I am actually guilty of teaching the general Thai population that it is OK to disrespect a Farang in these ways and many more that I could have included.

Yes you are indirectly supporting this behavior.

The least you can do, is stop buying into the Thai notion of you as being "the other", "the whitey", by referring to yourself as such. It will most likely not decrease the risk of you being treated differently and discriminated, but rather the opposite.

Do yourself, and the rest of us "whiteys" a favor, and at least don´t refer to yourself as "farang"

Edited April 23, 2014 by ayayay

[thailiketoo]

n210mp

n210mp: could it be construed that I am actually guilty of teaching the general Thai population that it is OK to disrespect a Farang in these ways and many more that I could have included.

Yes you are indirectly supporting this behavior.

The least you can do, is stop buying into the Thai notion of you as being "the other", "the whitey", by referring to yourself as such. It will most likely not decrease the risk of you being treated differently and discriminated, but rather the opposite.

Do yourself, and the rest of us "whiteys" a favor, and at least don´t refer to yourself as "farang"

Since I am treated substantially better than Thai people it would be stupid if I did not tell people I'm a Farang.

[n210mp]

n210mp

n210mp: could it be construed that I am actually guilty of teaching the general Thai population that it is OK to disrespect a Farang in these ways and many more that I could have included.

Yes you are indirectly supporting this behavior.

The least you can do, is stop buying into the Thai notion of you as being "the other", "the whitey", by referring to yourself as such. It will most likely not decrease the risk of you being treated differently and discriminated, but rather the opposite.

Do yourself, and the rest of us "whiteys" a favor, and at least don´t refer to yourself as "farang"

In all the time I have lived and been visiting Thailand nearly 40 years now I think that the times that I have been disabused by someone calling me Farang in an insulting or negative manner has been very few, indeed my own in laws (most of them) now refer to me by my name but not all and those who dont aren't in any way being disrespectful to me otherwise her indoors would be on their case in an instant.

As a newbie to Thailand it is easy to fall into the trap by thinking that you are indeed a lesser species by being called farang or that there is some slur or disrespect being shown to you.

IMO I do not take exception to being called a farang because that is what I am in their eyes and in an absence of them knowing me personally and my name, then I suppose that I must be identified in some manner and this is their way, not at all disrespectful. (In their culture of course).

[NoshowJones]

Don't lose track of the fact that you are a guess in someone else's country, or house if you like. Keeping this is mind and giving you a scenario, you should be able to answer your own question.

Let's say your Boss invited you and your wife over for dinner one night. You don't like this Boss at all, but you do like your job a lot and the people you work with. This job to you seems much better than the last place you came from. You also need this job so with all things considered, you decide to go.

Now lets' say that during the course of this evening your Boss insulted you or your wife in front of other guess's. You know this was not called for and for no logical reason you can think off. He was just being as Bully, and like he usually is.

So what do you do next?

Do You:

1) Insult him back, or his wife, and call him a A-Hole? Which in turn you retain your pride but also know your job is gone come Monday Morning.

2) Bop him on the nose, which he fully deserved, but has the same result as #1, and perhaps a night in jail and a later court appearance.

3) Ignore what he said but leave gracefully with your wife at the first opportune moment vowing never to return?

While this scenario may seem far different than what you are saying, in a lot of ways it is the same. That when at another persons house as a guess, sometimes the best solution is to just walk away. For sure the safest if you like living here.

Best to let Thai's deal with Thai's. My Thai Wife dislikes rude behaviour like this also, and as much as you do, and when she see's this she reacts like a stick of Dynamite! But surprisingly it happens more with rude Farangs then with rude Thais. I see that myself many times! Mr. Rich Taxi Driver Farang comes here and feels he owns this country and all it's people, who immediately jumps ahead of the line, which he would never do back home.

I also don't think that it is that Thai's just don't like us, and talk behind your back in a way we can hear them. Pretty hard to dislike someone you do not even know. So I think it has more to do with jealousy then hatred towards you personally. They see you with a young and pretty Thai Woman they know they can never have. How people cater to you because you have money and power, which they also know they will never have. So don't take that so personally or act like you are better then them. This just magnifies the problem. It is also the quickest way for you to find out how wrong you were about them.

We are not guests in this country, we are just tolerated, if I was a guest in someones house, I would hate to think I was just being tolerated.

[marko kok prong]

think it's bad here try India,everything there was like a rugby scrum,once in Calcutta,we were at the Victoria museum,a huge place,there where about twenty Indians and me and my girlfreind waiting for the ticket booth to open,now this building could accomadate hundreds,but when it opened the indians surged forward,mobbing it,all twenty of them,an old lady was pushed to the ground in this mad rush and a furious shouting match followed,after a couple of minutes,they had their tickets and jostled their way inside,we then collected ours,and strolled sedatly inside,instead of spreading out inside this huge place,they jostled each other over every exhibit,,it was like watching a flock of deranged sheep,so Thailand much better,though a few weeks back we were queing in tesco when and old biddy pushed in front,of us and a Thai lady and her daughter,"mai su pap' i said[not polite],and she looked a little sheepish,yet of course did not reply as she possibly may lose face i suppose,the driving does get me riled though when someone overtakes and then you have to hit the brakes to let them in before he has a head on with the truck coming the other way,still would be a boring world if it was the same everywhere.

[Dannyboy6]

think it's bad here try India,everything there was like a rugby scrum,once in Calcutta,we were at the Victoria museum,a huge place,there where about twenty Indians and me and my girlfreind waiting for the ticket booth to open,now this building could accomadate hundreds,but when it opened the indians surged forward,mobbing it,all twenty of them,an old lady was pushed to the ground in this mad rush and a furious shouting match followed,after a couple of minutes,they had their tickets and jostled their way inside,we then collected ours,and strolled sedatly inside,instead of spreading out inside this huge place,they jostled each other over every exhibit,,it was like watching a flock of deranged sheep,so Thailand much better,though a few weeks back we were queing in tesco when and old biddy pushed in front,of us and a Thai lady and her daughter,"mai su pap' i said[not polite],and she looked a little sheepish,yet of course did not reply as she possibly may lose face i suppose,the driving does get me riled though when someone overtakes and then you have to hit the brakes to let them in before he has a head on with the truck coming the other way,still would be a boring world if it was the same everywhere.

. How about when they overtake you to turn left, <deleted>, Me First Thailand...

[kevvy]

We get bullied because most of us have been brought up in a different culture.

[thailiketoo]

Simple...

You are at the wrong place - MOVE

At least he is in the right forum. There are 18 Thai negative topics out of 22 on the first page right now.

There must be a reason for that...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HsoIMHSZiA

[Tchooptip]

If you dont like the situation or circumstance you find yourself in, remove yourself from it.

Dont go away mad, just go away, easy !

Now what in heavens name give you the idea that I dont like the situation I find myself in?

If of course and there is a possibility that you were not addressing my OP then I withdraw this post unequivocally!

I just need to understand a fundamental, thus my question in the OP?

Maybe you could give me a personal reply, no not a PM just the way that you personally feel in the way that you would react or indeed feel given the numerous circumstance I outlined in my OP ?

You do give me a clue in that your reply included "Just go away easy"

Maybe you could elaborate on what is easy or is "easy" a way of turning the other cheek or could it be that you would allow yourself to be "Bullied"

I realise that the word "Bullied" in this post may well inspire those who are in fact bullied in Thai society to now be stimulated in to write so much more nonsense about the need for a low profile and the avoidance of the spotlight, you know, to avoid the BIB or offending some one.

It occurs to me that those who advocate people like me not liking it here to go elsewhere are not the best advisers and possibly part of the root cause of Farangs getting the worst out of Thai mainstream society.

Maybe it is time for the Farang population to "Come out" and admit their manliness.

*Maybe it is time for the Farang population to "Come out" and admit their manliness.

*The ridicule sentence of the year

Why manliness rhyme with childishness ?

[Tchooptip]

"What does it take to make a person react to aggressive and rude behaviour" ... well, for me, it takes "aggressive and rude behaviour" ... something which, for me, is missing from your OP.

Sounds like a bit of argy bargy to me.

Oh ... you can speak Thai fluently? ... "Hearing Thai speak disrespectfully about me" .. so that would take some considerable time in the country ... and you are just now (or still) complaining ...

'Thai population that it is OK to disrespect a Farang in these ways' ... sounds a bit of good ole' "White supremacist" to me.

May I ask, how long have you lived here?

Are you from the UK? (queuing mentality)

That will just about do it for my questions.

Cheers

I am from the UK, been here a while, enlighten me on my queuing behaviour...............

Well, transam, I've never met you, but I know you have lived a long time in Thailand so difficult to comment of your personal queuing behaviour.

When I lived in the UK and it's fairly similar in Australia, there is a distinct queue, a order of process. There is the head of the queue and that usually signals the person waiting the longest to be served and thus, an orderly queue forms behind him/her.

It's a civil arrangement and queue jumping is frowned upon.

In Thailand, the system doesn't have the same rigour. People 'push-in' if they see an opportunity. Cars sneak up the break-down lane to bypass a long queue of cars and expect to be let in when they reach the 'choke point'.

Drivers doing U-Turns often from a second lane, blocking traffic to 'jump the queue'.

All those Thai actions above, to a person born in the UK who has never witnessed that before, it might come as a shock.

Heaven forbid the OP ever had a Chinese tour Group descend upon him at a Food Buffet ... they would make the Thai system seem very civilized.

Just my thoughts ...

Wow, yes good idea, a Chinese tour Group descending upon him at a Food Buffet (queuewhatdzthat) Too much you made my day...but so true

[ayayay]

n210mp

n210mp: could it be construed that I am actually guilty of teaching the general Thai population that it is OK to disrespect a Farang in these ways and many more that I could have included.

Yes you are indirectly supporting this behavior.

The least you can do, is stop buying into the Thai notion of you as being "the other", "the whitey", by referring to yourself as such. It will most likely not decrease the risk of you being treated differently and discriminated, but rather the opposite.

Do yourself, and the rest of us "whiteys" a favor, and at least don´t refer to yourself as "farang"

Since I am treated substantially better than Thai people it would be stupid if I did not tell people I'm a Farang.

You want to be treated with genuine respect, or be treated like a dancing monkey?

Sure, it is fun for a short while to get special treatment, but with it, also comes the not so obvious downsides, not being taken seriously, being discriminated like the OP, more likely to get robbed, cheated on, scammed, or even killed.

No matter how you see it, in the end it is better to get genuine respect and as human being, than a dancing monkey.

Edited April 29, 2014 by ayayay

[ayayay]

n210mp

n210mp: could it be construed that I am actually guilty of teaching the general Thai population that it is OK to disrespect a Farang in these ways and many more that I could have included.

Yes you are indirectly supporting this behavior.

The least you can do, is stop buying into the Thai notion of you as being "the other", "the whitey", by referring to yourself as such. It will most likely not decrease the risk of you being treated differently and discriminated, but rather the opposite.

Do yourself, and the rest of us "whiteys" a favor, and at least don´t refer to yourself as "farang"

In all the time I have lived and been visiting Thailand nearly 40 years now I think that the times that I have been disabused by someone calling me Farang in an insulting or negative manner has been very few,

IMO I do not take exception to being called a farang because that is what I am in their eyes and in an absence of them knowing me personally and my name, then I suppose that I must be identified in some manner and this is their way, not at all disrespectful. (In their culture of course).

You are missing the point, it is not meant to be offensive. But it is indeed negative in many ways. Read my post above.

[hhgz]

The measure of a man's mettle is what causes him to lose his temper.