Thai Lateness. Your reaction?

[Mudcrab]

If I arrange to meet someone at a specific time and they can't be bothered to show up or phone with a reasonable and plausible excuse within 10 minutes of the arranged time (hour, day or week), the meeting is off! If I invited you for a meal, you don't eat. If you came for a job, you don't get it etc. My time is not anyone else's to waste! Simple, if you say something, mean it and do it! Smile-Mai Pen Rai doesn't cut it...

It must be awesome to think you are so important.

Hope the heart attack ends up ok for you.

[Mudcrab]

So, you're being held against your will? Forced to stay with no recourse? I'm sure one of the alphabet spies/ military guys that hang out at the go-go bars can free you back to jack-boot land.

it would seem to me you either haven't read or completely failed to understand the post i have so kindly highlighted for you.

he most clearly states that he has satisfied all the requisites for being here and lives here on his own terms within the conditions of those requirements.

it is quite clear.

there are no rules or regulations requiring any of us to go native.

Double post

Edited June 6, 2014 by Mudcrab

[Mudcrab]

So, you're being held against your will? Forced to stay with no recourse? I'm sure one of the alphabet spies/ military guys that hang out at the go-go bars can free you back to jack-boot land.

it would seem to me you either haven't read or completely failed to understand the post i have so kindly highlighted for you.

he most clearly states that he has satisfied all the requisites for being here and lives here on his own terms within the conditions of those requirements.

it is quite clear.

there are no rules or regulations requiring any of us to go native.

Similarly there are no rules or regulations regarding the locals to acknowledge or defer to any particular foreign trait or custom for the sole purpose of placating a whining foreigner who is incapable of recognising the unique diversity that another country/culture has to offer.

In the mining game its often called a FIFO operation - Fit In or F....Off. But either way stop whining - you give all foreigners here a bad name.

Edited June 6, 2014 by Mudcrab

[HerbalEd]

Complaining about Thais being late is like complaining about the rain. Complain all you want but the rain won't change. However, you can carry an umbrella.

[techboy]

I would not call tardiness "Thai culture" but it is very common with personal arrangements. Thais even have platitudes about "Thai time". This is nothing unique to Thailand. Try el mundo Latino. Try South America and you will think that Thais are obsessed with punctuality. In any case the best you can do is work with it. Hang in there!

[Jimmu]

If I arrange to meet someone at a specific time and they can't be bothered to show up or phone with a reasonable and plausible excuse within 10 minutes of the arranged time (hour, day or week), the meeting is off! If I invited you for a meal, you don't eat. If you came for a job, you don't get it etc. My time is not anyone else's to waste! Simple, if you say something, mean it and do it! Smile-Mai Pen Rai doesn't cut it...

It must be awesome to think you are so important.

Hope the heart attack ends up ok for you.

I'm not so important. My time is very important! I'm also quite relaxed about it but you seem to be agitated by my post.

[techboy]

If I arrange to meet someone at a specific time and they can't be bothered to show up or phone with a reasonable and plausible excuse within 10 minutes of the arranged time (hour, day or week), the meeting is off! If I invited you for a meal, you don't eat. If you came for a job, you don't get it etc. My time is not anyone else's to waste! Simple, if you say something, mean it and do it! Smile-Mai Pen Rai doesn't cut it...

It must be awesome to think you are so important.

Hope the heart attack ends up ok for you.

Yeah! Great one. But I would cut the dude a little more slack. That being said I find that people who take themselves too seriously always got a problem.

[mrfaroukh]

Welcome to the 3rd world country. If she come late she had gone for a short time, if doe's not come then is a long time and if come on time she had no customer and she is hungry ha ha ha.

[JLCrab]

My wife is Thai and she is always on time. Her business associates are always on time. I went to immigration yesterday and they opened on time. I had an appointment with the doctor and he was on time. I have Thai TV and all the programs today were on time. I have a Thai dog and every day at exactly 4 PM she comes to the front door to wait for her food.

If anyone would look at an average day in Thailand I think they will find most things happen on time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uS8vjE7SgZc#t=10

[gmac]

Many things we don't like in LOS we put down to "local culture" but lets face it most of the things are world wide. We just notice them more because we live here and have a rosy memory of what it was back in the real world.

Being late has different levels of importance, business appointment or meeting a friend in the pub, but I think any lateness without good excuse or explanation is a sign of disrespect.

I have always tried to be punctual it's the respectful thing to do.. I remember long time ago in another land I had a job interview in a part of town that was unfamiliar to me so the day before did the journey to see how long it would take so that on the day I would not be late.

Living here now I have come to accept the way things are.

Life goes on

but the question is, do THAIS see it as disrespect? how westerners see is not relevant

It is relevant when the Thais involved work for western employers in Thailand.

[Jip99]

So, you're being held against your will? Forced to stay with no recourse? I'm sure one of the alphabet spies/ military guys that hang out at the go-go bars can free you back to jack-boot land.

it would seem to me you either haven't read or completely failed to understand the post i have so kindly highlighted for you.

he most clearly states that he has satisfied all the requisites for being here and lives here on his own terms within the conditions of those requirements.

it is quite clear.

there are no rules or regulations requiring any of us to go native.

Similarly there are no rules or regulations regarding the locals to acknowledge or defer to any particular foreign trait or custom for the sole purpose of placating a whining foreigner who is incapable of recognising the unique diversity that another country/culture has to offer.

In the mining game its often called a FIFO operation - Fit In or F....Off. But either way stop whining - you give all foreigners here a bad name.

There is no requirement to"fit in" and this is not a mining operation.

This is a country in which we have chosen to reside, for all it's benefits and warts 'n all.

I do not ask the locals to acknowledge/defer to any of my traits. I am perfectly capable of picking my way through the minefield of culture and unique diversity.

[HooHaa]

So, you're being held against your will? Forced to stay with no recourse? I'm sure one of the alphabet spies/ military guys that hang out at the go-go bars can free you back to jack-boot land.

it would seem to me you either haven't read or completely failed to understand the post i have so kindly highlighted for you.

he most clearly states that he has satisfied all the requisites for being here and lives here on his own terms within the conditions of those requirements.

it is quite clear.

there are no rules or regulations requiring any of us to go native.

Similarly there are no rules or regulations regarding the locals to acknowledge or defer to any particular foreign trait or custom for the sole purpose of placating a whining foreigner who is incapable of recognising the unique diversity that another country/culture has to offer.

In the mining game its often called a FIFO operation - Fit In or F....Off. But either way stop whining - you give all foreigners here a bad name.

forgive me, but i fail to find evidence of any whine. my comment was specifically directed at yet another numpty trotting out the suck it up or leave response. I need neither suck it up nor leave. I have struck my balance and am quite happy where i am thank you.

I think you mistake me for an apologist - to the contrary i make no excuse for thailand or it culture, nor do i have any sympathy for foreign extremists of either the apologist or love it or leave it camps. I view both with varying degrees of disdain.

FIFO is indeed an apt way to look at it, but we need not all fit in in the same way.

in other words, thais late for meetings? who gives a shit. deal with it, i dont care how.

[star kicker]

of course a thai can turn up on time when they want to. i have a thai friend who works are a private medical professional. she earns a fortune and is she ever late for a patient? no. is she late when meeting me? often! but she's a mate so i forgive her.

when you meet a thai who arrives on time or early you know you've got a good one or that they want something from you.

they behave this way with each other so dont take it personally

[Emster23]

Of course Thais can turn up on time if they think it is vitally important, like catching a plane. Perhaps not being "on the dot" is a sign that they think they have a relationship with you? Just a guess. Re: my comments on West. Yes Japan is an on time kind of place, and all the west is not the same. General sort of thing (excluding latin cultures and time). Do you ever Wai someone back? I would hope so. Are you 'selling out" your western handshake? I don't think so. If you think it important someone be somewhere at certain time, then you must stress that several times so that they get the message. Otherwise it may be on the level of "Let's have lunch sometime".

[NCFC]

If you want them to be there at 10 then tell them to be there at 9:30 unless you know they are serial latecomers in which case tell them to be there at 9.

They may arrive by 10.

[indothai]

Like some said, "if they want something, they will be on time".

I work in an office/business environment and I do find Thai tardiness infuriating. But it is due to the following:

- It is possible that traffic has something to do with it. Common sense... if you set a meeting half way across town, expect tardiness (super-specially in Thailand).

- Disrespect. Plain and simple they don't respect you and they know you can't do anything about it. Unless you are the boss, they will forever be late.

- Show of importance. "Something important came up and I had to tend to it first." ....like scratching their ass.

- They've seen that their boss(s) comes in late for meetings, so they take to that example. They want to "feel" important, so they come in late.

- They don't want to be told what to do. Since you arranged the meeting, they will take it as a sign of submission. Thai's are obviously the most important person on the blah..blah..blah.

I've seen some foreigners charge for late meetings. Meaning, if you come in late, you pay xx amount. But this is usually for the management side, this can't work for anyone lower than a manager.

How do I deal with it. Just go with the flow, useless in trying to fix something you can't.

I still attend meetings on time, regardless of who sets it. Hell, the janitor can set a meeting and I'll be spot on time.

[sustento]

Read the book "The Silent Language" by Edward T Hall.

http://globalsociology.ucoz.ru/_ld/0/3_SilentLanguage0.pdf

[Acharn]

When I first came to Thailand, in 1971, Thai lateness was such a common thing we farangs used to refer to "They're running on Thai time." People showing up two or three hours later than the agreed time was normal and expected. It's much better now. I used to have a standing date with a young lady of negotiable affection and whe was always late. I finally changed the meeting place to a bar where they had pool tables, so I didn't care what time she arrived. If she didn't show up before midnight I just went home.For other types of appointments I just have a book along so I can spend the time reading instead of fuming. As another poster said, if it really, really bothers you then you're in the wrong country.

[claffey]

Another ding-a-ling comes to Thailand and wants paradise to be a Western hell. It's their country, try to deal with it.

I do detest people who kiss-ass everything Thai and fall back on the tiresome solution of "go back to your own country if you don't like it here".

Integration is about adapting not just rolling over to ever Thai whim or 'culture'.

You know what, we may even be able to teach the Thais something............................

and perhaps we could learn a few things from the Thais!!

[claffey]

Read the book "The Silent Language" by Edward T Hall.

http://globalsociology.ucoz.ru/_ld/0/3_SilentLanguage0.pdf

Thank you! I've started reading and I can't stop! I'm now gonna be late!

[cbluck58]

To allow this to be passed off as cultural is a mistake.

what it is is simple bad manners and that applies to anyone who is late for an appointment anywhere in the world.

Almost everyone on the planet now has a mobile phone - if there is a genuine rason for lateness such as a traffic jam, a missed train or the suchlike it is not difficult to advise people.

Lateness is unacceptable and should be treated as such and not excused because of culture.

[MonkeyLoo]

Im learning to adapt to the Thai culture too, but the lateness thing i already got used too when living in the Arab countries. They could be anything from 10 min to 1hour late, and saw that as the norm. I was always ontime, just took my laptop and did some work while i was waiting for them.

I didnt care too much after a while as they were paying me.

But thats one of the reasons every project gets delayed.

Same here. But no point in stressing out over it.

Sent from my GT-N7100 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[CharlesHH]

Jack, think seriously if Thailand is the place for you.

You will NEVER cure the tardy and everybody does it. I used to give the pop quizzes in my college classes here in the first ten min of class. Fail four of those and fail the course. About 25% failed to show up in time to take the 4 of 8 quizzes and thus failed. I do not know, I say hand raised in the air ... uh somewhere... if those Fs stayed on their records.

Really, if you can not put up with the tardiness and really think it is a Dis on you, think about a different nation to inhabit. There are only two ways..... Thai way or highway.

[Jip99]

Another ding-a-ling comes to Thailand and wants paradise to be a Western hell. It's their country, try to deal with it.

I do detest people who kiss-ass everything Thai and fall back on the tiresome solution of "go back to your own country if you don't like it here".

Integration is about adapting not just rolling over to ever Thai whim or 'culture'.

You know what, we may even be able to teach the Thais something............................

and perhaps we could learn a few things from the Thais!!

Perhaps we can.

Would you like to start a list ?

[jackvale]

To allow this to be passed off as cultural is a mistake.

what it is is simple bad manners and that applies to anyone who is late for an appointment anywhere in the world.

Almost everyone on the planet now has a mobile phone - if there is a genuine rason for lateness such as a traffic jam, a missed train or the suchlike it is not difficult to advise people.

Lateness is unacceptable and should be treated as such and not excused because of culture.

You got it. There's so many women looking for foreigners that it's their loss, not mine. Someone else will gladly help me spend my $$$.

[I Like Thai]

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And the opposite expectation is quite baffling.

My Thai friend offers to take me to the market the day after.

Despite my asking, she refuses to give me a time, not even if it"s morning or afternoon.

she can't plan ahead.

So I have to block ALL DAY just in case she calls me and wants to go.

And when she did call, we had to go RIGHT NOW,not in 5 minutes.

The market was a disaster,she kept rushing me.

Now I go to the market on my own by bus.

The only reason your Thai friend would know that you wanted to go to the market is if you told her you needed to go to the market.

By doing this you imposed yourself on her and her time. She needed to take time out from what she should have been doing to accommodate you.

That is why she did not give you any departure time and was rushing you to hurry up at the market.

Next time you need to go to the market, just go and there is no need to tell anyone in advance.

[sirchai]

What do you say or do if/when this happens?

​ I'd say: " Bhoo Phenn iangg.". (MAI PEN RAI) Best possible solution. -

Edited June 6, 2014 by sirchai

[ableguy]

My wife is Thai and she is always on time. Her business associates are always on time. I went to immigration yesterday and they opened on time. I had an appointment with the doctor and he was on time. I have Thai TV and all the programs today were on time. I have a Thai dog and every day at exactly 4 PM she comes to the front door to wait for her food.

If anyone would look at an average day in Thailand I think they will find most things happen on time.

Only if you are sick, watch too much tv and pander to your mutt.

[beautifulthailand99]

Another ding-a-ling comes to Thailand and wants paradise to be a Western hell. It's their country, try to deal with it.

I do detest people who kiss-ass everything Thai and fall back on the tiresome solution of "go back to your own country if you don't like it here".

Integration is about adapting not just rolling over to ever Thai whim or 'culture'.

You know what, we may even be able to teach the Thais something............................

and perhaps we could learn a few things from the Thais!!

Perhaps we can.

Would you like to start a list ?

NO NO NO Not again - please - not what have the Thais ever done for us list. It usually ends up just being Som Tam.

[AYJAYDEE]

allowing foreigners to retire in their country is quite an important item.