Do many Thais appreciate a person going out of their way....

[marko kok prong]

Once again I find myself living in a different Thailand to many TV members.

Daily, I receive acknowledgement from strangers for opening a door, making a gap in the traffic, standing aside to let someone pass and similar such acts of common courtesy. Maybe some of you guys don't see (or don't want to see) the deference that is offered - the nodding of a head or a quick smile, or even a full fledged dip if the generational gap is significant. Sure, not 100% of the time, but no less frequently than I would expect at home.

As to specific payback, I could list dozens of situations where we have helped others in minor ways and been rewarded with favours or gifts that meet or exceed the help given. And made some very good family friends in the process.

The latest that happened just yesterday was receiving a box load of vegetables from a very remote acquaintance because she needed a lift to the bus station with her luggage two weeks ago and I just happened to be going that way. On her return she makes a point of bringing us the box of veges at some cost to herself in terms of time and effort.

It's not so much you live in a different Thailand,more like a different planet,what are you on,and where can i get some.

[Gsxrnz]

Once again I find myself living in a different Thailand to many TV members.

Daily, I receive acknowledgement from strangers for opening a door, making a gap in the traffic, standing aside to let someone pass and similar such acts of common courtesy. Maybe some of you guys don't see (or don't want to see) the deference that is offered - the nodding of a head or a quick smile, or even a full fledged dip if the generational gap is significant. Sure, not 100% of the time, but no less frequently than I would expect at home.

As to specific payback, I could list dozens of situations where we have helped others in minor ways and been rewarded with favours or gifts that meet or exceed the help given. And made some very good family friends in the process.

The latest that happened just yesterday was receiving a box load of vegetables from a very remote acquaintance because she needed a lift to the bus station with her luggage two weeks ago and I just happened to be going that way. On her return she makes a point of bringing us the box of veges at some cost to herself in terms of time and effort.

It's not so much you live in a different Thailand,more like a different planet,what are you on,and where can i get some.

I rest my case.

[Benmart]

Once again I find myself living in a different Thailand to many TV members.

Daily, I receive acknowledgement from strangers for opening a door, making a gap in the traffic, standing aside to let someone pass and similar such acts of common courtesy. Maybe some of you guys don't see (or don't want to see) the deference that is offered - the nodding of a head or a quick smile, or even a full fledged dip if the generational gap is significant. Sure, not 100% of the time, but no less frequently than I would expect at home.

As to specific payback, I could list dozens of situations where we have helped others in minor ways and been rewarded with favours or gifts that meet or exceed the help given. And made some very good family friends in the process.

The latest that happened just yesterday was receiving a box load of vegetables from a very remote acquaintance because she needed a lift to the bus station with her luggage two weeks ago and I just happened to be going that way. On her return she makes a point of bringing us the box of veges at some cost to herself in terms of time and effort.

A most gratifying post. I think I live in the same Thailand as you.

I give and recieve daily courtesies such as you mentioned. The shop keepers, food stall vendors, motorcycle taxi drivers at their neighborhood stand, the homeless couple down a side Soi, all exchange hello's, nods, waves and smiles.

I wear a brimmed hat on sunny days and have doffed it to them, accompanied with a slight head nod, smile and a Sawadee Krup. It universally results in big smiles and extra hand waves from them.

Defering to someone on a narrow sidewalk or escalator sometimes gets a smile, sometimes not. It doesn't matter. What does, is that one, small gesture of kindness and civility makes my day that much better and perhaps theirs as well.

I try to keep my heart, mind and eyes open to the beauty of life. It's all around me. It goes unnoticed when I succumb to my own false sense of importance.

Smile at someone today. You may just get a smile in return.

[marko kok prong]

Once again I find myself living in a different Thailand to many TV members.

Daily, I receive acknowledgement from strangers for opening a door, making a gap in the traffic, standing aside to let someone pass and similar such acts of common courtesy. Maybe some of you guys don't see (or don't want to see) the deference that is offered - the nodding of a head or a quick smile, or even a full fledged dip if the generational gap is significant. Sure, not 100% of the time, but no less frequently than I would expect at home.

As to specific payback, I could list dozens of situations where we have helped others in minor ways and been rewarded with favours or gifts that meet or exceed the help given. And made some very good family friends in the process.

The latest that happened just yesterday was receiving a box load of vegetables from a very remote acquaintance because she needed a lift to the bus station with her luggage two weeks ago and I just happened to be going that way. On her return she makes a point of bringing us the box of veges at some cost to herself in terms of time and effort.

It's not so much you live in a different Thailand,more like a different planet,what are you on,and where can i get some.

I rest my case.

So i presume if we see a slow moving vehicle,with vegetables cascading off it,and drivers,waving you on,as people wai you as you pass,all smiling and waving,it could be you?

[garyinhuahin]

Mr. 332, you seem to have a very negative view of Thais and Thailand, judging by the content of this and other threads you've started. So what really happened to you? Get burned by a bargirl or two?

Never had a need or desire for bargirls.

Just my observations from a number of years of living within the society.

What about your observations in your home country ?

Off topic, as this is a Thai forum.

Remember, slagging Thais only here.

[Benmart]

Once again I find myself living in a different Thailand to many TV members.

Daily, I receive acknowledgement from strangers for opening a door, making a gap in the traffic, standing aside to let someone pass and similar such acts of common courtesy. Maybe some of you guys don't see (or don't want to see) the deference that is offered - the nodding of a head or a quick smile, or even a full fledged dip if the generational gap is significant. Sure, not 100% of the time, but no less frequently than I would expect at home.

As to specific payback, I could list dozens of situations where we have helped others in minor ways and been rewarded with favours or gifts that meet or exceed the help given. And made some very good family friends in the process.

The latest that happened just yesterday was receiving a box load of vegetables from a very remote acquaintance because she needed a lift to the bus station with her luggage two weeks ago and I just happened to be going that way. On her return she makes a point of bringing us the box of veges at some cost to herself in terms of time and effort.

It's not so much you live in a different Thailand,more like a different planet,what are you on,and where can i get some.

If one has to ask, then the essence of any assistance would most likely be unhelpful.

I try to do good. The clock of life stops for no one.

[Benmart]

Once again I find myself living in a different Thailand to many TV members.

Daily, I receive acknowledgement from strangers for opening a door, making a gap in the traffic, standing aside to let someone pass and similar such acts of common courtesy. Maybe some of you guys don't see (or don't want to see) the deference that is offered - the nodding of a head or a quick smile, or even a full fledged dip if the generational gap is significant. Sure, not 100% of the time, but no less frequently than I would expect at home.

As to specific payback, I could list dozens of situations where we have helped others in minor ways and been rewarded with favours or gifts that meet or exceed the help given. And made some very good family friends in the process.

The latest that happened just yesterday was receiving a box load of vegetables from a very remote acquaintance because she needed a lift to the bus station with her luggage two weeks ago and I just happened to be going that way. On her return she makes a point of bringing us the box of veges at some cost to herself in terms of time and effort.

It's not so much you live in a different Thailand,more like a different planet,what are you on,and where can i get some.

I rest my case.

So i presume if we see a slow moving vehicle,with vegetables cascading off it,and drivers,waving you on,as people wai you as you pass,all smiling and waving,it could be you?

Some may look, but do not see.

There is more to life than reading the imprinting on the bottom of an empty bottle.

[chrisinth]

Everyone's experiences differ and in my case, I will admit to being let down/extremely disappointed by more foreigners than Thais in the short time I have been here.

It has, IMHO, absolutely nothing to do with cultural differences, but all to do with the circumstances at the time.

Edit: I suppose I need to add that I have been working here (with the Thais) for a few years, so it isn't segregation that affects my ratio experience.......

Edited June 13, 2014 by chrisinth

[marios]

The real question is, are Thais in general nice? I think they are. in the Anglophone world (whose culture I am more familiar with) for example, one tends to hold the door open for the person following, they raise their arm to indicate thank you for giving them right of way and so many other things. These things are nice but they are part of the culture. it doesn't mean that a person doing that is intrinsically "good". It is just the convention. In less "developed" cultures if a driver stops to let a young lady pedestrian pass, the expected response will be that of suspicion and unease. she wouldn't smile or wave because she might be considered non virtuous. So everything is a matter of how advanced a society is for the stereotypical social responses.

I have been associated with Thailand for the last 30 years. I never stayed more than non month and always under the protection of a hotel or serviced apartment. I have not been exposed to "real" situations and never felt threatened. So my limited experience says that Thai people are a courteous lot rather, than not.

I feel much safer in Thailand than in the Philippines for example.

[smileydude]

In any society, unappreciative people will always be unappreciative. I don't think Thai's are an exception to this rule of being over or underappreciative on average.

Your bad experiences may incline you to believe otherwise but don't let it block you from seeing the good side of Thai people or any person for that matter.

As a rule if I'm going to do something nice for people I tend to stick to 2 principles.

I will not lend money to people, I prefer to just give it to them if they really need it for good reason, or ask them to earn it by working for me.

I will not be a guarantor for anyone wishing to take out a loan on a house or car.

Money matters tend to ruin friendships.

[weegee]

I remember a story, maybe even from on here about 2 years ago, about a guy living in a rural village. He set out on a mission to clean up the place. Hired a big grass cutter and painted all the playground, cleaned up the whe whole place. Hoping to lead by example. He was delighted with the result.

then he got sick.

the locals called around.

To enquire as to when he he will be cutting the grass again.

If it was on here, can someone find it for me? I'd be interested in reading it again.

That was me....what do you want to know? Other than I havent helped since....Everything has returned to normal, the place is again overgrown and trash everywhere.

The grounds are only used now for grazing cows.

The kids can no longer play football or enjoy as they used to....But on every sunday the local hoods with beefed up cars terrorise the place doing burnouts all bloody afternoon....I sold all the ride mowers except the ones I need for myself......

Edited June 13, 2014 by weegee

[impulse]

On an aside, I've never had a Thai woman yell at me for holding the door open for her (as if she couldn't do it for herself, you chauvinist pig, you)

[NoshowJones]

If you are talking financial, well you would have to know alot more about the individuals and circumstances to judge or comment.

Just for example a Thai friend of mine who owned farm land in central Thailand organized their sister to work on it, after she lost her job. Profits split 50/50. 1 year later and after harvest time. it was time to collect, but there was problem with the money.

6 months later (and into the 2nd crop) they reminded her she owed them the 50%, no, there was no money. They let her finish and sell the 2nd crop. Again no money. They sold the land, took the money and bought a nice rental property. She was utterly furious with them and disowned them for helping her when she needed the help.

Another was a friend who lent her cousin a small amount of money (3000b I think) after she phoned with some sob-story. 2 months later the same request. Turned down. she was angry. 2 months later my friend called to say that she needed the money back. She was called tight and stingy for requesting back such a small amount of money, and never received it back.

Just two of many social observations. I do enjoy observing society and cultures.

Your second social observation. That's just as likely to happen in the UK as I have found to my cost, are you saying that it is a Thai thing?

[jcb2001]

Mr. 332, you seem to have a very negative view of Thais and Thailand, judging by the content of this and other threads you've started. So what really happened to you? Get burned by a bargirl or two?

I think he has taken off his rose colored glasses and seen Thailand for what it really is.

[dao16]

Any time money is involved it taints everything. "Help" like that should be avoided unless it really is life or death (which people will try to convince you of when it really isn't the case).

However, we have done everything from housing an aunt with cancer for a long, long time (we lived near the hospital) to returning a lost phone to helping someone with a heavy load. All of them thanked us profusely and even offered money/beer/meals in return--some we accepted, some we didn't since we didn't do it for some reward. Too many to mention.

Also, on a side note, there are subtle ways in which people say "thank you" without words. Just a slight bow or or a curtsey recognize what you have done, but many westerners might miss it. Experiment--go to an elevator and watch people enter and exit. Watch out they move their bodies to express thanks for holding the door open or as they walk out (not so much a thank you, but a polite way to exit the elevator first). Other things are happening that don't happen in the West.

[NoshowJones]

Mr. 332, you seem to have a very negative view of Thais and Thailand, judging by the content of this and other threads you've started. So what really happened to you? Get burned by a bargirl or two?

Never had a need or desire for bargirls.

Just my observations from a number of years of living within the society.

So do you only have negative observations about Thailand?

[EnglishJohn]

My experience is that Thais tend to think that farangs get money for free. A gift is appreciated, but not how much of your effort went into earning it in the first place.

I try not to help Thais out with cash for this reason. To help the girlfriends family a bit (rice farmers up North), I bought a couple of small pieces of land as 'investments' through the Thai company I have and let them farm it for free. They can get some more money - but they have to do something to earn it.

And boy do they earn it ... people in the UK would simply refuse to do that work.

[chingching]

I was eating at a small Thai restaurant the other day. I'm sitting down playing with my cell phone, and this girl who was with her boyfriend, ( and the only other patrons) gets up and gets me a glass of ice water. It was quite unexpected by me.

Edited June 13, 2014 by chingching

[Liquorice]

When I first arrived in Thailand, I rented an apartment in a block of 16.

3 other farangs lived in the block.

I'd only been here for a couple of days, when I got a really bad flu bug that floored me for 5 days.

I could barely get out of bed, let alone go shopping.

As soon as word got around the new farang was sick, the Thai's brought me medicine, water and food every day.

I never saw the farangs.

When I was well enough I treated them all to a meal and a drink one evening.

They never asked, or expected anything in return for their kindness and were very appreciative of my gesture.

Edited June 13, 2014 by Faz

[Grateful farang]

I saw a beggar on south pattaya road

A one armed apartently legless man in the gutter

I gave him 20 baht.

The dirty bastard didnt even say thank you nod, acknowledge me in anyway but just counted the money.

[edwardflory]

When I came back to Th after a 30 year absence, I stayed with a Thai friend in a city about 1 hour north and east of BKK. It was a 8 /10 block housing complex ( no High Rise's ) with no foreigner peoples. I stood out like a sore thumb, when alone, eyes followed me everywhere especially since every night I go take my "smoke walk" ( NO smoking house ) before hitting the sheets. I am out one night and I see a group of Thai's trying to to push a fully loaded pickup truck to start it. Not thinking anything about it ( did you ever see 5 Thais at about 135 pounds each push a loaded pickup to start it? ) I just walked up, grabbed a handful of truck and start pushing. I guess my 225 pounds did it, truck got enough speed to start.. I was in the LOS and 10,000 wai's

Next night on my "smoke walk", the eyes didn't follow me, lots of smiles did. I got ambushed passing a bar by 2 of the men that were pushing the truck and they did all but poured gallons of beer down my throat.

Edited June 13, 2014 by edwardflory

[Grindting]

It's the holding of a door open and then someone not even aknowledging ones existence, let alone a thank you. Some Thais do, some dont, the ones that don't are just rude, nothing to do with culture. I tend to find the Indians and the Chinese are the worst for it

I Couldnt stop myself holding a door open for someone, is just not in my nature, especially for a woman, old person or someone with bags / kids erc. By the same token I cannot just accept the lack of aknowledgement and I always yell *THANK YOU!* at them (or whatever language thank you is depending where I am / on what nationality has just walked past). Some ignore me, but I feel better. Others get immediately embarrassed and turn around and give a little apologetic smile, they know they did wrong and I just shamed them (to feel ashamed to a silly white westerner must be tragic for them !). The ones that ignored me still heard me, and maybe the odd few will be embarrassed with themselves.

And I don't give a shit by the way if you think I'm a prat for my behavior, a thank you or a smile or a simple aknowledgement of my existence is free and IS the CORRECT BEHAVIOR. Anything else is RUDE, REGARDLESS of culture / nationality.

Edited June 13, 2014 by Grindting

[Dogmatix]

I think it depends on your perspective and the kind of Thais you come into contact with.

Look at it this way. Consider the case of foreigners coming to your country in large numbers with nest eggs to live on but no knowledge of your language or culture and no skills that would enable them to work there. They come into contact largely with prostitutes, drug dealers and bar owners and often decide to marry one of the prostitutes they meet who are nearly all poorly educated and from rural families.

Then consider the case of foreigners who come to work in your country as skilled expatriates and many speak your language and understand your culture well. They come into contact with other highly educated people from your country they meet through work.

Next ask your question to the first group and to the second group and compare the answers you get. Finally, if you are a member of the first group, ask yourself what did you expect.

[Liquorice]

I saw a beggar on south pattaya road

A one armed apartently legless man in the gutter

I gave him 20 baht.

The dirty bastard didnt even say thank you nod, acknowledge me in anyway but just counted the money.

How do you know he wasn't deaf and dumb as well as his other disabilities.

Maybe he was absolutely overawed by your generosity.

[Dap]

I remember a story, maybe even from on here about 2 years ago, about a guy living in a rural village. He set out on a mission to clean up the place. Hired a big grass cutter and painted all the playground, cleaned up the whe whole place. Hoping to lead by example. He was delighted with the result.

then he got sick.

the locals called around.

To enquire as to when he he will be cutting the grass again.

If it was on here, can someone find it for me? I'd be interested in reading it again.

That was me....what do you want to know? Other than I havent helped since....Everything has returned to normal, the place is again overgrown and trash everywhere.

The grounds are only used now for grazing cows.

The kids can no longer play football or enjoy as they used to....But on every sunday the local hoods with beefed up cars terrorise the place doing burnouts all bloody afternoon....I sold all the ride mowers except the ones I need for myself......

Wow! I tip my hat to ya senor

Edited June 13, 2014 by Dap

[weegee]

I was eating at a small Thai restaurant the other day. I'm sitting down playing with my cell phone, and this girl who was with her boyfriend, ( and the only other patrons) gets up and gets me a glass of ice water. It was quite unexpected by me.

Did ya check your wallet after?

[weegee]

I remember a story, maybe even from on here about 2 years ago, about a guy living in a rural village. He set out on a mission to clean up the place. Hired a big grass cutter and painted all the playground, cleaned up the whe whole place. Hoping to lead by example. He was delighted with the result.

then he got sick.

the locals called around.

To enquire as to when he he will be cutting the grass again.

If it was on here, can someone find it for me? I'd be interested in reading it again.

That was me....what do you want to know? Other than I havent helped since....Everything has returned to normal, the place is again overgrown and trash everywhere.

The grounds are only used now for grazing cows.

The kids can no longer play football or enjoy as they used to....But on every sunday the local hoods with beefed up cars terrorise the place doing burnouts all bloody afternoon....I sold all the ride mowers except the ones I need for myself......

Wow! I tip my hat to ya senor

Why?....i am just a normal person, who tried to make a difference by trying....never again !

[SOTIRIOS]

...you answered your own question....

[kinmaew]

I also love watching especially when my wallet is NOT involved and bloody never will again lesson learnt once and for good.

[joshstiles]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

Mr. 332, you seem to have a very negative view of Thais and Thailand, judging by the content of this and other threads you've started. So what really happened to you? Get burned by a bargirl or two?

Yes i agree with you.....why did this post get allowed on the site? I think a troll