Issues with the in laws

[Seastallion]

Well let's put this way if your ends up your wife having to choose between you and family over the brother, in all likelihood you will lose

sorry but not so ,i know many guys whoe's wives stick by them ,and i am 100%certain my wife would if it ever arose.

I had already copied this, " I’m well aware that a thai girl will always choose her family over a farang husband. " to say the same as you.

Sad that people are so cynical.

[Soutpeel]

Well let's put this way if your ends up your wife having to choose between you and family over the brother, in all likelihood you will lose

sorry but not so ,i know many guys whoe's wives stick by them ,and i am 100%certain my wife would if it ever arose.

I had already copied this, " I’m well aware that a thai girl will always choose her family over a farang husband. " to say the same as you.

Sad that people are so cynical.

Yeah yeah we know yours is different....

[rsokolowski]

you dont pay sinsnot unless she is a sturgen. Just tell the brother where to go. say it firm and mean it, it usually works,

Why do you have to pay sin sod if your future wife is a fish (sturgeon)?

[cgphuket]

You will need to establish your position with the brother (the alpha male thing). Thai boys are spoiled and generally their families let them get away with rude behavior. Doubt he has ever been stood up to. You need to "enlighten" him in private, opr just avoid him and ban him from your home.

[bkkden]

Don't listen to all cynical comments. You will have a fine life and probably never see him again. I have only seen my brother in law once in 17 years, at my wedding. That's it. Your wife will stand by you and he doesn't matter at all. Forget about him. Congrats on your wedding!

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[bkkjames]

you dont pay sinsnot unless she is a sturgen. Just tell the brother where to go. say it firm and mean it, it usually works,

Why do you have to pay sin sod if your future wife is a fish (sturgeon)?

A good catch?

A rare fish?

Caviar is expensive?

Sent from my LG-P970 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[aussieinthailand]

As The Art of War says, never fight a battle on your home ground. Take her away, BKK, Pattaya or even to your home Country for a while. You must make your wife understand you are the boss. If not she will always believe her brother. Give the parents a couple of 100k to keep them on your side but don't even tell your wife you have done this.

Don't buy a house RENT! If you want a car rent or make sure it's in your name. Explain to your wife this is a new life or she can stay with her family and you will go back to your home Country.

Jeez what era do you come from ?..."make your wife understand you are the boss" if I said that to Mrs S, I would end up with a size 4 Jimmy Choo sticking out my noggin..

I agree some what with ATF, but I wouldn't say I'm the boss, but rather captain of the ship and all ship's need a captain and crew to stay the coerce.

As for Sun Tzu, The art of war, I agree completely, use your enemy's weakness against him,

[shirtless]

Avoid the guy like the plague, he could be a real problem if he worms his way into your life

[pgrahmm]

you dont pay sinsnot unless she is a sturgen. Just tell the brother where to go. say it firm and mean it, it usually works,

Why do you have to pay sin sod if your future wife is a fish (sturgeon)?

.....So you don't start a roe?????? Edited July 2, 2014 by pgrahmm

[LawrenceN]

It's too complicated, and if you marry her then he will be a pain in the arse for ever.

Move on - you'll never win against the in-laws.

Read the post again, he is married already !!

OP, take him round the back of the house and pop in on the nose. No-one loses face if nobody sees it. Help him up, shake his hand and then run for cover

Wow! This is terrible advice. I hope you were kidding, but on the chance you weren't, OP, DO NOT get physical with the bil. It would only escalate.

My advice: Smile around him always. Never let him get under your skin. That is, if he gives you orders, simply smile and do as you please.

Count your blessings, and be glad her parents are OK.

[monkeycountry]

Regarding a girls devotion to her family, I think it is worth noting that there is a big difference in importance between her parents and her brother, especially if it is obvious that the brother is behaving weird.

[ezzra]

Too long to read.... is there a shorter version?

[elliottm]

I'd consider myself lucky if the big bro found out I'd been 'double dipping my spoon" & only got a bicep pinch.

[Globeman]

Well let's put this way if your ends up your wife having to choose between you and family over the brother, in all likelihood you will lose

From the OP's original posting: "I’m well aware that a thai girl will always choose her family over a farang husband."

Most profound... and not always true either. I have observed numerous cases with friends over the years where the family is an arsepain and the woman chooses her husband.

[Globeman]

The way he said it quite loud in front of their folks made me lose face. !

This is a Thai thing ! Farang do not / cannot lose face !

Same with the sinsod

​You have a lot to learn methinks judging by this post

OP has a lot to learn, youthinks? Well don't keep us in suspense, oh great and wise one - let's hear some of the things he has to learn. And perhaps treat us all to an explanation of how you arrived at these conclusions.

Let's start with the bit about how farangs can't lose face. I think that's nonsense, but obviously you'd-thinks I have a lot to learn, so enlighten me... and the rest of TV.

[Globeman]

It's probably her Thai husband, and he is understandably upset at having to share his wife (for a while).

Even if he is expecting to get a house and car out of it.

Very diplomatically put. And probably not true. Though maybe in your experience...

Edited July 2, 2014 by Globeman

[NoshowJones]

I have a few questions which i do not think OP will answer.

But in what language did all the communications with the brother took place?

Either OP speaks fluent Thai or brother is bossing everyone around in English.

Secondly if so called brother dared to grab my arm hard, i would have slapped him.

OP, if you are genuine, and he is really a brother and you really do have balls, the next time you see him and he tries to boss you around, take him outside, out of everyone;s sight and bitch slap him,

Make sure its the hardest bitch slap you ever give.

Then tell him, if he ever disrespects you again or even looks at you in a way you do not like, you will use closed fist for the next time.

The beauty of the bitch slap is that it hurts like hell, totally unexpected and does not leave any marks, besides a red cheek.

I have not been married but did have a GF, her sister was married to an arrogant tool, who for some reason assumed my house was his house and my cigarettes were his.

He also had trouble remembering my name or anything but to call me "you"

One bitch slap fixed all that, he even learned how to ask if he can have a cigarette in English.

I know what a slap is, but what is a 'bitch' slap? I slapped a guy in the face with my hand open when I was 14 years old, and there was blood all over his face, that couldn't have been a 'bitch' slap.

[NoshowJones]

Headbutt should fix the problem <3

You mean a "Glasgow Kiss"?

[pgrahmm]

bitch slap is a black originated term - I believe it had to do with pimping and how the women were kept - treated.....it then became a term used for a man to slap another man equaling = his "bitch"............"take that bitch" et al

[Thakkar]

"...accused me of double dipping my spoon"

at first I thought that was a euphemism, that he'd met the girl you were cheating on your wife with!

Seriously though, you need to stay for a year or more with your wife in your home country. Let her see the life that moulded you. Let her experience the feeling of isolation when living in a new country, the better for her to appreciate how you feel in Thailand. Be a strong support to her in your home country so that she understands the importance of her support when you move to Thailand. You cannot blame her for not understanding these things unless she has experienced them.

To her brother, over here, you're just another farang mooching off the country (facts be damned). To counter this, she needs to see the real you, framed by the environment you know best--your home country, family and friends.

When you move back here, your bond will be different, forged in your home country instead of here where you are more helpless and, let's face it, a bit hapless.

I think a lot of marriages here are troubled because the Thai wife (and hence her family) fail to understand that the man had a proud life before coming to Thailand, because they haven't seen it.

T

[Loptr]

The way he said it quite loud in front of their folks made me lose face. !

This is a Thai thing ! Farang do not / cannot lose face !

Same with the sinsod

​You have a lot to learn methinks judging by this post

As do you if you think that a farang cannot lose face... If you are not concerned about your public persona and that you are fine being the butt of jokes you probably don't understand anyway, then carry on...

[Pralaad]

I have a few questions which i do not think OP will answer.

But in what language did all the communications with the brother took place?

Either OP speaks fluent Thai or brother is bossing everyone around in English.

Secondly if so called brother dared to grab my arm hard, i would have slapped him.

OP, if you are genuine, and he is really a brother and you really do have balls, the next time you see him and he tries to boss you around, take him outside, out of everyone;s sight and bitch slap him,

Make sure its the hardest bitch slap you ever give.

Then tell him, if he ever disrespects you again or even looks at you in a way you do not like, you will use closed fist for the next time.

The beauty of the bitch slap is that it hurts like hell, totally unexpected and does not leave any marks, besides a red cheek.

I have not been married but did have a GF, her sister was married to an arrogant tool, who for some reason assumed my house was his house and my cigarettes were his.

He also had trouble remembering my name or anything but to call me "you"

One bitch slap fixed all that, he even learned how to ask if he can have a cigarette in English.

I know what a slap is, but what is a 'bitch' slap? I slapped a guy in the face with my hand open when I was 14 years old, and there was blood all over his face, that couldn't have been a 'bitch' slap.

Bleeding from where? His cheek?

[Pralaad]

bitch slap is a black originated term - I believe it had to do with pimping and how the women were kept - treated.....it then became a term used for a man to slap another man equaling = his "bitch"............"take that bitch" et al

Lol, no idea on the origin, but it's an open hand slap across the face , the one that men normally get from a woman after insulting her .

The secret to successful bitch slap is to make it as noise as possible and as painful as possible , so if you aim for lower part of the cheek closer to the ear, even heavy handed can actually knock someone out.

Otherwise it is very loud and sharp pain in the ear .

May be I should open bitch slapping school?! Lol

PS. I believe the idea behind it is that you slapped someone around like a bitch( idea behind the term , that is)

Edited July 2, 2014 by Pralaad

[NoshowJones]

I have a few questions which i do not think OP will answer.

But in what language did all the communications with the brother took place?

Either OP speaks fluent Thai or brother is bossing everyone around in English.

Secondly if so called brother dared to grab my arm hard, i would have slapped him.

OP, if you are genuine, and he is really a brother and you really do have balls, the next time you see him and he tries to boss you around, take him outside, out of everyone;s sight and bitch slap him,

Make sure its the hardest bitch slap you ever give.

Then tell him, if he ever disrespects you again or even looks at you in a way you do not like, you will use closed fist for the next time.

The beauty of the bitch slap is that it hurts like hell, totally unexpected and does not leave any marks, besides a red cheek.

I have not been married but did have a GF, her sister was married to an arrogant tool, who for some reason assumed my house was his house and my cigarettes were his.

He also had trouble remembering my name or anything but to call me "you"

One bitch slap fixed all that, he even learned how to ask if he can have a cigarette in English.

I know what a slap is, but what is a 'bitch' slap? I slapped a guy in the face with my hand open when I was 14 years old, and there was blood all over his face, that couldn't have been a 'bitch' slap.

Bleeding from where? His cheek?

No, his nose, but I still want to know what a 'bitch' slap is.

[wvavin]

Mate, you are in trouble. Its all about money. Make an effort to observe and you will know what I mean.

[Escarlett]

As The Art of War says, never fight a battle on your home ground. Take her away, BKK, Pattaya or even to your home Country for a while. You must make your wife understand you are the boss. If not she will always believe her brother. Give the parents a couple of 100k to keep them on your side but don't even tell your wife you have done this.

Don't buy a house RENT! If you want a car rent or make sure it's in your name. Explain to your wife this is a new life or she can stay with her family and you will go back to your home Country.

Jeez what era do you come from ?..."make your wife understand you are the boss" if I said that to Mrs S, I would end up with a size 4 Jimmy Choo sticking out my noggin..

"make your wife understand you are the boss"

That's doesn't apply in my house. My husband listens to me and i listen to my husband....sometimes...lol

Btw, OP why don't u just move far away from ur wife folks? U have now ur own family. Family members ( parents, sisters, brothers etc) should never interfere in ur own family stuff unless you ask them to.

Edited July 2, 2014 by Escarlett

[Pralaad]

I have a few questions which i do not think OP will answer.

But in what language did all the communications with the brother took place?

Either OP speaks fluent Thai or brother is bossing everyone around in English.

Secondly if so called brother dared to grab my arm hard, i would have slapped him.

OP, if you are genuine, and he is really a brother and you really do have balls, the next time you see him and he tries to boss you around, take him outside, out of everyone;s sight and bitch slap him,

Make sure its the hardest bitch slap you ever give.

Then tell him, if he ever disrespects you again or even looks at you in a way you do not like, you will use closed fist for the next time.

The beauty of the bitch slap is that it hurts like hell, totally unexpected and does not leave any marks, besides a red cheek.

I have not been married but did have a GF, her sister was married to an arrogant tool, who for some reason assumed my house was his house and my cigarettes were his.

He also had trouble remembering my name or anything but to call me "you"

One bitch slap fixed all that, he even learned how to ask if he can have a cigarette in English.

I know what a slap is, but what is a 'bitch' slap? I slapped a guy in the face with my hand open when I was 14 years old, and there was blood all over his face, that couldn't have been a 'bitch' slap.

Bleeding from where? His cheek?

No, his nose, but I still want to know what a 'bitch' slap is.

If nose then it was not a proper bitch slap

Explanation already provided above a few posts up

[NoshowJones]

A bitch slap is just something I have never heard of before, and I was just curious to know what it was.

[Pralaad]

A bitch slap is just something I have never heard of before, and I was just curious to know what it was.

my understanding is post 53

[ggt]

You seem to have this guy pegged...control freak...bully... Do not expect him to change...meeting with him will most likely only fester your wounds and make future family gatherings more difficult...I wish I had a ready made solution...personally...I would distance myself from this nut on every occasion...do not let him get any satisfaction out of ordering you or your wife around...you might try explaining to him what "Fugg Off"...means...