Am I being cheap?

[Jeffrey346]

Yes, you are cheap.

[marioc]

Yes, you are.

[KunMatt]

Just how much is your salary compared to her salary?

Consider this when you are asking for her to pay 50% of everything you two pay.

And in answer to your OP, yes you are cheap, and you are being cheap in a relatively cheap country, so you are cheap multiplied by cheap.

[KunMatt]

Farang boyfriend or husband = ATM

The main reason MOST Thai girls want a farang relationship is for the money. "No money, no honey"

Yep, 3,500 for gas is inflated, but I'm sure she was hoping for spending money.

If you are hooked up with a Thai girl, then you are committing to paying for her and her families' expenses.

good luck, be generous, or count on needing to find a new Thai girl every few months.

But he never gave her 3500 baht for gas, he gave her 1k baht. So it's not like she made anything on him. Maybe she knew if she asked for 1k baht to pay for gas he would only offer 200 baht.

[Suradit69]

3500B for gas to Korat???

Get a bus.

I can get from Khon Kaen to Bkk in my car for 900 Baht.

Any woman that says, "up to you" more than one a year is a money-grabbing ex pro. - dump her before she dumps you.

Does she have a job?

"3500B for gas to Korat???"

No. It was $3,500 baht because it isn't really money unless you see a $.

Am I being cheap?

I assume the only reason someone would actually pose this question on a forum, especially this forum, is because he thought everyone would rally 'round his indisputable farang point of view. Essentially he suspects he's done something to lose face (and probably lose his "girlfriend") and he needs validation.

Been in Bangkok a few weeks and has managed to get the girlfriend p__sed off, offended her family, seems confused about the local currency ($ baht) and then limped over to Thai Visa expecting sympathy with a large "kick me" sign stuck on his back. I hope he's not staying here on a succession of visa exempt entries because he's on a roll ... and not in a good way.

Edited July 12, 2014 by Suradit69

[bangkapi]

If you have to ask.........

It is soooo easy to steal girlfriends from guys like you.

Without even trying...

They all have their feelers out for an "upgrade".

[ezzra]

It seems like you have got your self a high maintenance GF there, but if you want to ride,

you gotta pay the camel....

[northernboy]

No woman capable of financial prudence and responsibility would move in with a guy within 3 weeks of meeting him.

Well we were going out for a year. It was a long distance relationship, but it wasn't like I just met her.

Thai women have such a bad reputation when it comes to money, so I am always on my guard with my girlfriend. I know its not the right thing to do, but its my personality. I also haven't been in a relationship in a long while. I've only had to spend money on myself.

But don't you get it you are spending on yourself!

[mrtoad]

Ben, I don't normally do this but this is a post you made on another topic "40 years old no wife and kids".

Video games my friends!

Who needs a wife and kids when you can get lost in a game for hours each and every day. Games like Skyrim are like virtual simulators. Much better than real life because you don't have to fork over money, and you can live the life of a virtual king!

For sex you can either watch porn or visit the Nana district in Bangkok.

You are one cheap assed SOB. There is a real World you know or do you?

Lol, classic.

The OP has more cheep than The Birdie song.

[monkey4u]

Are you going to turn the air-con on for her birthday?

What a great idea for a present

[HerbalEd]

OP .. you asked so, yes, you are being a cheap Charlie.

Good luck teaching your g/f about a budget. Years ago, I tried explaining the concept of a budget to my first Thai girlfriend. I wrote out an initial budget for her, including the 30K baht I gave her monthly, and her expenses for rent, electricity, food, transport, school, etc. I thought I'd done a good job of explaining how budgets work and she said she now understood how to budget. However, about two weeks after giving her monthly allowance, she came to me and said "Honey I no have money now," and extending her open hand to me, she said "Give me more budget, please." Well ... so much for teaching a Thai woman about budgeting.

Edited July 12, 2014 by HerbalEd

[alanrchase]

OP .. you asked so, yes, you are being a cheap Charlie.

Good luck teaching your g/f about a budget. Years ago, I tried explaining the concept of a budget to my first Thai girlfriend. I wrote out an initial budget for her, including the 30K baht I gave her monthly, and her expenses for rent, electricity, food, transport, school, etc. I thought I'd done a good job of explaining how budgets work and she said she now understood how to budget. However, about two weeks after giving her monthly allowance, she came to me and said "Honey I no have money now," and extending her open hand to me, she said "Give me more budget, please." Well ... so much for teaching a Thai woman about budgeting.

At least she said "please".

Sent from my GT-I9500 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[oneday]

Hmm, the OP is trying to teach his girlfriend of three weeks, financial responsibility and budgeting, some of us having been trying to teach our wives such things for fifteen years or more and still we're not there yet!

The other striking point about what was written is the OP's complete lack of understanding of Thai culture, you're going to her mums house for the first time, sure you need to buy her a gift.

The part about the car and driver for 3.5k, silly girlfriend for doing that but doubtless she wanted to show an association to farang wealth, the issue there is 90% about "face", the 10% is likely that she wanted you to have a relaxed trip in comfort.

Good luck, you've got a way to go yet,

This is the best post I've seen so far, though I haven't read the posts after this one yet.

OP, listen up to "chiang mai's" advice. Learn Thai culture, understand what you make and what your GF makes and if you make quite a bit more then loosen up for God's sake. There is fault on both sides here, but if you are not clear with your GF about what you make (without giving explicit details) then she may think you are made of money because that is the myth just about all Thai people believe about falang.

No she should not have had a friend drive to Kolat in a car; a bus for sure is cheaper and perfectly OK. No it did not cost 3500 baht in gas, not even close. Yes you should have bought a gift, but your GF should have mentioned this and helped pick the gift out. I don't have much sympathy for these girls that yell at you after the fact without ever saying a word before hand, but it's all too common. It falls under the heading, "What you didn't read my mind". You need to explain your lack of understanding of Thai culture and that you need her help to understand. Hell, I just tell them to buy a gift and keep to a budget. There is absolutely no reason for her to have to spend a lot on a gift. Simple inexpensive items are just fine.

Buy and read "Thailand Fever" together. It is in Thai and English for each and every section. Look up their website called "thailandfever". Add ".com" to the end of that word and you will go to their website. Probably every book store has this book.

If you are clear on your financial situation then the better girls will understand and actually try to help and these girls do exist.

Good luck.

Edited July 12, 2014 by oneday

[asdecas]

There is nothing wrong with a little parsimony when dealing with Thai girlfriends. It is part of their learning process to disabuse themselves of the notion that all farangs are King Midas reincarnate.

I recommend at least an initial six-month frugality regime for foreign males entering a relationship in Thailand. Besides making a welcome saving in hard-earned cash, it is also instructive to your lady friend as to who is wearing the jodhpurs in the relationship.

[Mangkhut]

You are certainly not cheap. A woman that cant pay - or even worse - dont want to pay for herself, thai or any other nationality isnt worth spending a thought, calory or second on/with....

[jacko45k]

Hmm... Maybe I am cheap.

We are getting there.

This is a windup.

[wow64]

This relationship has a good future.

Just give her the $100 and be done with it.

She must need it or would have not asked... If she was trying to get more say 20k for a sick buffalo then I would be worried.

Sent from my c64

[benj005]

@oneday,

My gf does have the book Thailand Fever. We will read it together. I've only briefly looked at the book and I noticed there is a Thai page and an English page.

The money was not just for gas. I don't believe gas cost $3,500 baht. That's close to $100 USD. No way. The trip was 4 hours one way, 8 hours total. Probably wasn't cheap. She bought lunch on Sunday when we were driving home as well. It was a Thai lunch so it wasn't too expensive.

I gave her $1k baht. I guess that was appropriate. I'm trying to do things the correct way, and I'd like to do it without spending a wad of cash every time we go out. I will get her mom a nice little gift and fix the situation. I should have picked something when I was in the states. I blew it. Lesson learned.

To be honest your talking to a guy who normally didn't buy his parents anything on Christmas or mothers/fathers day. I just don't buy presents . I know it doesn't sound right, and I know I'm going to get hell for that statement. I'm just being honest. I don't like it. Its just how I am.

But I believe that people can change.

Edited July 12, 2014 by benj005

[Grindting]

OP: tell your gf to get <deleted>.

She already tried to make you pay a trip of 3500 at your gf request which was more likely than not a favour to help her friend with money problems (via you), rather than take the bus like everyone else, which would have saved you a packet. But good you don't give in and just chucked her 1000. She is probably bitter about that as she had to folk out for her own face savings excercise.

Then she has the cheek to demand you buy her mum an imported gift from America ontop of that. Why should you buy her mum anything, it's not your mum it's hers!! More than likely you're taking care of her daughter and some day funds will be filtered through to her way if not already, so why does she deserve anything from you?

If my wife wants to buy presents for mum then that's up to her, and it's normally little odds and sods, not a hamper from harrods. Nothing to do with me. And I buy my own mum presents

Get rid of your selfish and greedy thai gf who gradually will make her way into your wallet and try control it, and make you feel guilty for not spending everything you have on her and her family so she can bank her own money. she is showing all of the negative signs already

Edited July 12, 2014 by Grindting

[benj005]

OP: tell your gf to get .

You already paid a trip of 3500 at your gf request which was more likely than not a favour to help her friend with money problems (via you), rather than take the bus like everyone else, which would have saved you a packet. Then she has the cheek to demand you buy her mum an imported gift from America ontop of that. Why should you buy her mum anything, it's not your mum it's hers!! More than likely you're taking care of her daughter and some day funds will be filtered through to her way if not already, so why does she deserve anything from you?

If my wife wants to buy presents for mum then that's up to her, and it's normally little odds and sods, not a hamper from harrods. Nothing to do with me. And I buy my own mum presents

Get rid of your selfish and greedy thai gf who gradually will make her way into your wallet and try control it, and make you feel guilty for not spending everything you have on her and her family so she can bank her own money. she is showing all of the negative signs already

She didn't ask me to pay $3,500 baht. She just wanted help paying half.

Getting something for mom is a cultural thing. When I was in Korea and I visited someone's home I was told to bring a small gift.

I'm going to keep an eye on the situation. If it gets out of control I am out of here.

Thanks for the input.

[Afook]

Many local Thai's don't even make the so-called minimum wage in Thailand of 300B per day :-)

That's $9.38 USD a day, and you're talking for like 6-7 days a week, and like 12 hrs per day, if not more :-(

Considering that you're from the US, you're in my opinion on the bottom of the list as being cheapo!! If you can't afford to take care of your gf, and spend a little for a gift to her family, let alone pay for her gas.......go back to where you came from, at least you can get a job at McDonald's for $7.25 per hour, and see if you can survive on that!! :-(

[Grindting]

OP: tell your gf to get .

You already paid a trip of 3500 at your gf request which was more likely than not a favour to help her friend with money problems (via you), rather than take the bus like everyone else, which would have saved you a packet. Then she has the cheek to demand you buy her mum an imported gift from America ontop of that. Why should you buy her mum anything, it's not your mum it's hers!! More than likely you're taking care of her daughter and some day funds will be filtered through to her way if not already, so why does she deserve anything from you?

If my wife wants to buy presents for mum then that's up to her, and it's normally little odds and sods, not a hamper from harrods. Nothing to do with me. And I buy my own mum presents

Get rid of your selfish and greedy thai gf who gradually will make her way into your wallet and try control it, and make you feel guilty for not spending everything you have on her and her family so she can bank her own money. she is showing all of the negative signs already

She didn't ask me to pay $3,500 baht. She just wanted help paying half.

Getting something for mom is a cultural thing. When I was in Korea and I visited someone's home I was told to bring a small gift.

I'm going to keep an eye on the situation. If it gets out of control I am out of here.

Thanks for the input.

It is culture in asia to bring a gift when visiting a relative you haven't seen for a while or if you've been away etc, but HER responsibility to get it, not yours, it's not YOUR mum it's her mum. You have NO cultural responsibility to buy anything for them. Another twist on trying to make the farang pay for everything

[onlycw]

If it was only so simple, sigh. Be generous and watch your relationship being poisoned by a sweet poison.

With hindsight, some generous acts have been plain foolish. They also cause a certain expectation. Soon,

it will be utterly normal... Money gets in the way of love. Keep it clean, if you can.

Edited July 12, 2014 by metisdead
Font

[garyinhuahin]

Are you going to turn the air-con on for her birthday?

girl should get another bf.

I'm going to guess she already does.

[xenophon]

You should pay the rent.You should give her 30000 baht a month to pay all bills.You should give her bonus of 90000 baht every 3 months

ein joke? Yah?

[ttthailand]

It really depends on how much money you have to spend each month. If you have a total budget of 10k baht and your gf works and makes 10k a month then you should be splitting the bills. If you however make 100k a month and her 10k I think you need to pay for most things.

I pay the rent, electric, water, food costs and normally pickup the bill when we go out to eat. Most of these costs would be the same if she was with me or not. I will not give my gf a paycheck, no way !!! She works and that money is for her to pay for her own way, transportation, money to mom, makeup, put into savings, etc.

I don't see your relationship lasting as Thai girls expect their man to take care of them, Thai or Farang. Unless you are very handsome and younger or same age then perhaps she might stick around.... But I don't think she will.

[PEAP]

"Cheap Charlie" comes to my mind!

[soihok]

Troll comes to my mind.

Edited July 12, 2014 by soihok

[rotary]

I predict an extremely short but volatile relationship in your present home life

Edited July 12, 2014 by rotary

[ATF]

Ben, Just think about it like one of your video games. In the games you have to collect tokens to buy things to become stronger or more powerful etc.

The tokens in Thailand are money, gold, Louis Vitton handbags, Rolexes, cars and houses etc. These tokens will give you unlimited sex and love.

Otherwise you're going to end up like your 56 year old uncle, no kids living with his 90 year old mother, having cybersex while she is in the next room.

All relationships come down to business in the end, however much a girl loves you she will want things it's just normal.