Age gap in a relationship, how comfortable are you?

[AnotherOneAmerican]

There are veritable armies of 70 year olds in the West enjoying their lives with partners they've been married to for 30+ years. Partners with whom they've shared ups and downs, tragedy and triumph and who know and love them purely, completely and utterly for who they are rather than for a combination of his wallet and the fact his last medical check up says he's on his last legs.

Actually, there are almost none, by age 70,
50% have divorced.
50% have had one partner die.
xx% hate each other with a vengeance, but don't think it worth the effort of escaping for their remaining years.

I don't know the statistics for the survival of happy life-long partners at age 70+, but I'm prepared to bet it's very small.
(I don't know any) Edited August 1, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[thailiketoo]

 

Is the 70 year old man who packs up and learns to live and love in Thailand brighter, more interesting and more capable than the average man who sits in front of the TV at home in the West and drinks beer?

 
What a stupid thing to say.
 
Who are you to say that the typical alternative to a 70 year old making a spectacle of himself walking hand-in-hand down the street with a prostitute is sitting at home watching TV and drinking beer?

There are veritable armies of 70 year olds in the West enjoying their lives with partners they've been married to for 30+ years. Partners with whom they've shared ups and downs, tragedy and triumph and who know and love them purely, completely and utterly for who they are rather than for a combination of his wallet and the fact his last medical check up says he's on his last legs. Living on defined benefit pensions in mortgage-free houses and lots of disposable income from stock dividends, rental properties . . .

 

I'd take that ANY DAY over some floosie jockeying for a mention on my last will and testament. 
 

Heaven forbid anyone ask a question that requires an honest answer. She asked how comfortable old men are with their age gap relationships.

Going by all the vintage toys being thrown out of Georgian and Victorian-era perambulators, it's obvious that a lot of old men aren't as comfortable as they pretend to be.

 

Nasty mind.  Why would you assume every Farang is married to or has a significant other who was a prostitute? 

 

Since the divorce rate is above 50% in the West half of the old guys are sitting home alone. 

 

What percent of men getting divorced in the West do you think get to keep the home? 

 

The old guy gets fleeced by his first wife and sits in a rental watching TV to kill time till he dies.  Or.  He comes to Thailand and walks down the street with a 25 year old stunner and be darned what anybody thinks about it.  I know which I'd pick. 
 

[Fellini]

I don't know what you guys think is so fun about this place.

[brewsterbudgen]

I don't know what you guys think is so fun about this place.

"This place" - do you mean ThaiVisa or Thailand? If the latter, I would say the very fact that there are thousands of beautiful young Thai girls looking for relationships with "older" men is the answer.

[giddyup]

 

Is the 70 year old man who packs up and learns to live and love in Thailand brighter, more interesting and more capable than the average man who sits in front of the TV at home in the West and drinks beer? Yes and by a long shot. 

 
What a stupid thing to say.
 
Who are you to say that the typical alternative to a 70 year old making a spectacle of himself walking hand-in-hand down the street with a prostitute is sitting at home watching TV and drinking beer?

There are veritable armies of 70 year olds in the West enjoying their lives with partners they've been married to for 30+ years. Partners with whom they've shared ups and downs, tragedy and triumph and who know and love them purely, completely and utterly for who they are rather than for a combination of his wallet and the fact his last medical check up says he's on his last legs. Living on defined benefit pensions in mortgage-free houses and lots of disposable income from stock dividends, rental properties . . .

 

I'd take that ANY DAY over some floosie jockeying for a mention on my last will and testament. 
 

To poke a stick in a hornet's nest, what else?

Heaven forbid anyone ask a question that requires an honest answer. She asked how comfortable old men are with their age gap relationships.

Going by all the vintage toys being thrown out of Georgian and Victorian-era perambulators, it's obvious that a lot of old men aren't as comfortable as they pretend to be.

 


 

 

You don't give "honest answers" you give opinions and extremely biased ones at that.

 

[brewsterbudgen]

Is the 70 year old man who packs up and learns to live and love in Thailand brighter, more interesting and more capable than the average man who sits in front of the TV at home in the West and drinks beer? Yes and by a long shot. 

 
What a stupid thing to say.
 
Who are you to say that the typical alternative to a 70 year old making a spectacle of himself walking hand-in-hand down the street with a prostitute is sitting at home watching TV and drinking beer?

There are veritable armies of 70 year olds in the West enjoying their lives with partners they've been married to for 30+ years. Partners with whom they've shared ups and downs, tragedy and triumph and who know and love them purely, completely and utterly for who they are rather than for a combination of his wallet and the fact his last medical check up says he's on his last legs. Living on defined benefit pensions in mortgage-free houses and lots of disposable income from stock dividends, rental properties . . .
 
I'd take that ANY DAY over some floosie jockeying for a mention on my last will and testament. 
 

To poke a stick in a hornet's nest, what else?

Heaven forbid anyone ask a question that requires an honest answer. She asked how comfortable old men are with their age gap relationships.

Going by all the vintage toys being thrown out of Georgian and Victorian-era perambulators, it's obvious that a lot of old men aren't as comfortable as they pretend to be.

You don't give "honest answers" you give opinions and extremely biased ones at that.

Actually I think he's just a little frustrated and finds it therapeutic to let off steam here!

[Tony125]

http://www.tmz.com/photos/2014/07/22/large-age-gap-celebrity-couples-photos/images/2014/07/22/couples-with-age-gaps-16-jpg/

 

And to the op who said that maybe Thai women could not function in thier man's country (get good job) and also another poster who said he knows ladies who could not pass English test for Aus to be nurses well I have met a few Thai girls when I was in Boston, MA USA and they both speak english as well as me and 1 now has a Boston accent. Some learn english fairly well here in Thailand and then if they go overseas to study as the 2 girls I mentioned did they will not have a problem passing tests in english. I will bring 1 or both to Thai Visa Lounge when they are back in the country. Both are overseas now.

[thaitakeaway]

 

@Somsrisonphimai, although I'm a newbie here I'm dismayed to see how some others questioned your motives as if you had an agenda. You seem genuine enough to me. Sure you later admitted you raised the issues knowing you would tread on a few toes. It worked. But at least we saw some glimpses from a woman's perspective, although you are not in the big age difference category yourself. Mmm, can anyone with a 20-something GF/wife get her to tell it like it is?

So, you believe the OP started the topic because she was, "curious?"

Let's look at her opening post again:

"When I was in Pattaya a while back, I saw a lot of couple that the men were between 20-40 years older than the women. I said to myself, is there something wrong with this picture? How could a man, who is in his retirement age, possibly have anything in common with a young girl, who has just turned 21? But then again, people cannot help who they love.

Set that aside, it seemed the Thai society has accepted a large age gap in a relationship between younger Thai woman and older foreign man. I was wondered in your country, does the society accept the relationship as it does in Thailand? Do you and your Thai wife/girlfriend feel comfortable with the relationship in your country as you feel in Thailand? Or how comfortable are you with your relationship in Thailand?"

 

On face value, she seems curious enough to me. Something was observed and that triggered a train of thought. And in response most who jumped in addressed her last question only, presumably because that's all they (we) know.

 

I very much doubt she is deliberately clickbaiting.

 

[Fellini]

"This place" - do you mean ThaiVisa or Thailand? If the latter, I would say the very fact that there are thousands of beautiful young Thai girls looking for relationships with "older" men is the answer.

I meant Thailand.

But sir... I understand that it's a choice we're all entitled to make, but if it were me, I would personally give up the game altogether after the first fifty years or so of sex-capades. And if I felt the urge, I would just rub one off - at least pornography is legal in the industrialized world and I don't have to use Tor (as you can see from my Harry Reems avatar, I watch a lot).

I would rather be like this in sixty years:

Edited August 1, 2014 by Fellini

[pgrahmm]

@ Asia 2000 as an ex sailor for 17 years and working with a lot of filipinos according to them it has nothing to do with respect of the elderly but about money concerning pinoys getting married to elderly foreigners thats why so many of them are getting offed there every year by some pinoy ladies families .I have nothing against age gaps but i dont like people spouting nonsense.

 
I talking from personal experience, in a relationship with a Filipina, with education and a full time job.
 
My friends and myself found a decent good lady who is working full time in a normal job. She support siblings and parents. Every times I said I can help, she politely decline, says she manage herself. Last evening she insisted to pay our 12$ dinner, which I of course denied.
She don't want any support from me monthly, and never ask for 1 peso.
 
Many Pinays have education, honor and decency enough, to not depend on a man. Same goes for Thais.
 
Fact.
 
and our age gap is 31 years.

You are fortunate....my ex was filapina...hiso family in fact owning many businesses from 7-11 stores to over 90 hotels plus catering and cafeteria for the multi national corporations....when we traveled it was with full staff including cooks with food and maids....that gal and the fila before her were money traps plus I never felt safe there even though quite a few of the guests at social activities.....judges - business men and such brought their own body guards....I dated many filapinas and - thankfully I moved on to Thai gals and have a good one...there are some good fila gals but it's a dangerous search......I will take the Thai gals any day - there's 12-15 years experience that tells me you are fortunate to have what you have....b Edited August 1, 2014 by pgrahmm

[Grindting]

There are veritable armies of 70 year olds in the West enjoying their lives with partners they've been married to for 30+ years. Partners with whom they've shared ups and downs, tragedy and triumph and who know and love them purely, completely and utterly for who they are rather than for a combination of his wallet and the fact his last medical check up says he's on his last legs.

Actually, there are almost none, by age 70,
50% have divorced.
50% have had one partner die.
xx% hate each other with a vengeance, but don't think it worth the effort of escaping for their remaining years.

I don't know the statistics for the survival of happy life-long partners at age 70+, but I'm prepared to bet it's very small.
(I don't know any)

Wrong, my parents are in their early 60s, been together since their mid 20s and married for 30 years. They're not going anywhere. My grandparents on both sides married for 50 odd years and lived their retirement out with lovely holidays around Europe every few months, all dead now apart from my gran who is in her late 80s, still misses my grandfather every day but none the less goes travelling around the world with her best friend (also widowed) on packages or cruises and sometimes on their own. In fact all of the "old" people I've known growing up have all still been happily married and typical uk/london old biddies complaining about the post office and the weather etc.

I think you underestimate the number of average joe ('old') people back in the west who would be disgusted at the idea of not being with their partner of 30+ years, moving to a 3rd world country and shacking up with some tart who can barely string 2 sentences together in some village in the middle of nowhere. Sounds like a nightmare

In my honest and humble opinion; each to their own. As I said before in this thread, everyone should mind their own business. When I see an 'older' guy with an attractive young thai girl (not very often), I think good for him!! Fuckin good for him he's enjoying life the way he wants, fck anyone else's opinion. Edited August 1, 2014 by Grindting

[mrtoad]

Well i look forward to that

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[Cypress Hill]

 

 

Is the 70 year old man who packs up and learns to live and love in Thailand brighter, more interesting and more capable than the average man who sits in front of the TV at home in the West and drinks beer?

 
What a stupid thing to say.
 
Who are you to say that the typical alternative to a 70 year old making a spectacle of himself walking hand-in-hand down the street with a prostitute is sitting at home watching TV and drinking beer?

There are veritable armies of 70 year olds in the West enjoying their lives with partners they've been married to for 30+ years. Partners with whom they've shared ups and downs, tragedy and triumph and who know and love them purely, completely and utterly for who they are rather than for a combination of his wallet and the fact his last medical check up says he's on his last legs. Living on defined benefit pensions in mortgage-free houses and lots of disposable income from stock dividends, rental properties . . .

 

I'd take that ANY DAY over some floosie jockeying for a mention on my last will and testament. 
 

Heaven forbid anyone ask a question that requires an honest answer. She asked how comfortable old men are with their age gap relationships.

Going by all the vintage toys being thrown out of Georgian and Victorian-era perambulators, it's obvious that a lot of old men aren't as comfortable as they pretend to be.

 

Nasty mind.  Why would you assume every Farang is married to or has a significant other who was a prostitute? 

 

Since the divorce rate is above 50% in the West half of the old guys are sitting home alone. 

 

What percent of men getting divorced in the West do you think get to keep the home? 

 

The old guy gets fleeced by his first wife and sits in a rental watching TV to kill time till he dies.  Or.  He comes to Thailand and walks down the street with a 25 year old stunner and be darned what anybody thinks about it.  I know which I'd pick. 
 

 

 

Similarly, why would you assume that every farang here is somehow "brighter", "more interesting and more capable" than those who prefer to stay close to relatives, friends and their communities? 

 

You make out that after a divorce, a Western man has only two choices; sit at home alone watching TV or come to SE Asia and pay a stipend to a younger woman with whom he can barely communicate in return for sex and a steady stream of cold beers.

 

If you get divorced in the West, are you somehow precluded from relationships with OTHER Western women? 

 

If you're newly single at 35, 40 or 45, does that mean that you'll never score with attractive desirable women in your homeland again?

 

I ask because I know lots of 40+ year old men back in England that ARE with late 20s+ women and there isn't a stipend or sin sot in sight. 

[thailiketoo]

 

 

@Somsrisonphimai, although I'm a newbie here I'm dismayed to see how some others questioned your motives as if you had an agenda. You seem genuine enough to me. Sure you later admitted you raised the issues knowing you would tread on a few toes. It worked. But at least we saw some glimpses from a woman's perspective, although you are not in the big age difference category yourself. Mmm, can anyone with a 20-something GF/wife get her to tell it like it is?

So, you believe the OP started the topic because she was, "curious?"

Let's look at her opening post again:

"When I was in Pattaya a while back, I saw a lot of couple that the men were between 20-40 years older than the women. I said to myself, is there something wrong with this picture? How could a man, who is in his retirement age, possibly have anything in common with a young girl, who has just turned 21? But then again, people cannot help who they love.

Set that aside, it seemed the Thai society has accepted a large age gap in a relationship between younger Thai woman and older foreign man. I was wondered in your country, does the society accept the relationship as it does in Thailand? Do you and your Thai wife/girlfriend feel comfortable with the relationship in your country as you feel in Thailand? Or how comfortable are you with your relationship in Thailand?"

 

On face value, she seems curious enough to me. Something was observed and that triggered a train of thought. And in response most who jumped in addressed her last question only, presumably because that's all they (we) know.

 

I very much doubt she is deliberately clickbaiting.

 

 

 

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/456613-law-prohibiting-marriage-to-foreigners-over-the-age-of-50-proposed-to-thai-cabinet/

 

I know you are a new person but everyone on Thai Visa makes fun of old guys and young women.  The above thread was 42 pages long. 
 

[thaitakeaway]

In response to @Grindting (post #582).
So you've been in Thailand what, 3 years? And in your 20s you are in the process of breaking the mould so you won't have to sit in freezing London bitching about the weather in your old age? May you be fortunate enough to escape what life can hurl at you from outta left field in the years ahead. Me? After 40 years of a happy enough marriage I too thought I was safe from having to ever do what I'm doing now - finding a replacement after being cast aside. Life's a bitch. But then again maybe my Thai GF's right in saying "You think too much. Life's too short to ..."


Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand Edited August 1, 2014 by thaitakeaway

[AnotherOneAmerican]

You make out that after a divorce, a Western man has only two choices; sit at home alone watching TV or come to SE Asia and pay a stipend to a younger woman with whom he can barely communicate in return for sex and a steady stream of cold beers.
 
If you get divorced in the West, are you somehow precluded from relationships with OTHER Western women?

At 50+ pretty much, I'm guessing you are too young to have any experiences with menopausal, and post menopausal women.
OK if they're your mom, not much use for anything else.

Quite frankly, I would prefer to be dead or alone.

And it's the 50+ market that Thailand caters for.
You young guys aren't meant to be here, go home and do white women while you still can! Edited August 1, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[thailiketoo]

 

Similarly, why would you assume that every farang here is somehow "brighter", "more interesting and more capable" than those who prefer to stay close to relatives, friends and their communities? 

 

You make out that after a divorce, a Western man has only two choices; sit at home alone watching TV or come to SE Asia and pay a stipend to a younger woman with whom he can barely communicate in return for sex and a steady stream of cold beers.

 

If you get divorced in the West, are you somehow precluded from relationships with OTHER Western women? 

 

If you're newly single at 35, 40 or 45, does that mean that you'll never score with attractive desirable women in your homeland again?

 

I ask because I know lots of 40+ year old men back in England that ARE with late 20s+ women and there isn't a stipend or sin sot in sight. 

 

 

You wrote, "Similarly, why would you assume that every farang here is somehow "brighter", "more interesting and more capable" than those who prefer to stay close to relatives, friends and their communities?"

 

You gotta be kidding me.  Most Americans think the world is flat and Thailand is a town in China.  Watch Fox news for a couple of nights or the weather girl on BBC. 

 

Most of my expat friends can carry on a conversation in at least 4 languages and have interesting jobs (even if they are made up ones). 

 

Danger, excitement, thrills, adrenaline running rampant and that was all before dinner when the bar girl chased me down Soi Buakhow and tried to kill me with her 7 inch heeled shoe.  You should have been there after dinner when the elephant charged and the motocycle taxi drivers had a mini war with machetes and that was just before the lady boy mafia started a shooting battle about one particular handsome person who shall remain anonymous.   

 

And for the Bangkok folk what is more exciting than a yabbaed up motocycle taxi driver giving you a speed ride through traffic in a rain storm. 

 

Food - you never know if you will be poisoned with every bite.  Women - is the next one that crazed killer you have been reading about?  Does she have drugs painted on different parts of her body?  Driving - like Russian Roulette - will this be the time that you get the bullet in the chamber?  I turned off Mission Impossible 3, last night because my lunch with the boys and girls (they may have been girls) was more exciting.  

 

This place is a trip.  Non stop excitement.  In 10 plus years I have never been bored.  Not for a day, not for an hour, not for a minute. 

 

And you are trying to tell me home is/was fun?   5555555
 

[Fellini]

At 50+ pretty much, I'm guessing you are too young to have any experiences with menopausal, and post menopausal women.

Quite frankly, I would prefer to be dead or alone.

And it's the 50+ market that Thailand caters for.
You young guys aren't meant to be here, go home and do white women while you still can!

*Or non-white Western-born women who share my language and cultural norms, and know what on earth I'm talking about.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Wrong, my parents are in their early 60s, been together since their mid 20s and married for 30 years.

Stop right there,
Do you see the line where we are saying 70 and over!
Now come back when both your parents are over 70.

Your gran is 80 and her husband is dead, yep she's in the over 70 and one partner dead category.
So that's not a part of a happy couple over 70 then. Edited August 1, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[thailiketoo]

So you've been in Thailand what, 3 years? And in your 20s you are in the process of breaking the mould so you won't have to sit in freezing London bitching about the weather in your old age? May you be fortunate enough to escape what life can hurl at you from outta left field. Me? After 40 years of happy enough marriage I too thought I was safe from having to ever do what I'm doing now - finding a replacement after being cast aside. Life's a bitch. But then again maybe my Thai GF's right in saying "You think too much. Life's too short to ..."


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Are you talking to me?  I got here the first time in 1968 and moved here full time more than a decade ago. 

[thaitakeaway]

So you've been in Thailand what, 3 years? And in your 20s you are in the process of breaking the mould so you won't have to sit in freezing London bitching about the weather in your old age? May you be fortunate enough to escape what life can hurl at you from outta left field. Me? After 40 years of happy enough marriage I too thought I was safe from having to ever do what I'm doing now - finding a replacement after being cast aside. Life's a bitch. But then again maybe my Thai GF's right in saying "You think too much. Life's too short to ..."


Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

 
Are you talking to me?  I got here the first time in 1968 and moved here full time more than a decade ago. 

No. @Grindting's post #582


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[Sigurris]

Grindthing (and others, you know who you are) Does it not get tiring having to be so literal. Think about the title of the thread for a moment and all of what that implies.

 

Once you have done that you can eliminate 99% of happily married couples in the West. They are not the people that the OP is discusiing so why even bring it up? The Op is talking about those men who come here and have young Thai partners. These are, by definition, not happily married in the West.

Are you comfortable with a younger partner? Thats how I read this thread. And I am qualified to answer. And I did.

 

Its such a shame that, like so many interesting threads this one has been hijacked by haters and pedants. Guys if you want to take personal umbridge with a poster and have a back and forth bitch at each other get a room or use PM, thats what its for.

 

I for one would much rather hear from people who have experience, good or bad, of this and hear how they dealt with it.

 

For example. In my earlier days I had a gf who was a sergeant in the Thai Army. She was 35 and i was 48. But when she wore no make up and had her hair tied back she looked 14. Walking around the mall I felt incredibly conscious about this and i am sure that helped bring that relationship to an end. 6 years later I am in a similar position with a small beautiful and very young looking 30 year old. The difference is that I am older and wiser and have 6 more years experience of living in Thailand. And I do not give a flying f*** what people think.

Edited August 1, 2014 by Sigurris

[JLCrab]

This place is a trip.  Non stop excitement.  In 10 plus years I have never been bored.  Not for a day, not for an hour, not for a minute. Yes and almost 5400 ThaiVisa posts in less than a year. Now there's real excitement.

[Tywais]

Off topic posts and replies removed.

[giddyup]

This place is a trip.  Non stop excitement.  In 10 plus years I have never been bored.  Not for a day, not for an hour, not for a minute. Yes and almost 5400 ThaiVisa posts in less than a year. Now there's real excitement.

Now, that says it all! I mentioned in a previous post how some of the younger members seem to spend most of their time on Thai Visa, probably other sites as well, so they might as well be in Bradford, UK or Bumf*ck, USA as Thailand. Hardly seem like an exciting pursuit for a young guy here.

 

[robblok]

This place is a trip.  Non stop excitement.  In 10 plus years I have never been bored.  Not for a day, not for an hour, not for a minute. Yes and almost 5400 ThaiVisa posts in less than a year. Now there's real excitement.

Now, that says it all! I mentioned in a previous post how some of the younger members seem to spend most of their time on Thai Visa, probably other sites as well, so they might as well be in Bradford, UK or Bumf*ck, USA as Thailand. Hardly seem like an exciting pursuit for a young guy here.
 

Its is easy to post on Thaivisa if you work behind a computer. In my opinion if you can afford it come to Thailand as young as possible as it is more fun as younger. As for age gaps for sex as long as its legal. For a relationship older as i like someone with shared interests and that gets harder with larger age gaps. Though it is just one factor and can vary.

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[Water Buffalo]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

 

 

 
I normally see about 3 meters of pavement between the foreigner and trailing gal. 

That's merely because people from certain regions in Thailand tend to be quite slothenly, especially when it comes to walking, shuffling along in their loose sandals, they can't keep up with the farang.

Not picking up their feet when walking also leads to knee problems, leading to a further reduced pace.

 

 

She just doesn't want to be seen with him.

 

 

 

To each his own; I personally find immensely more value/personal profit in a relationship with someone who shares some of my "headspace", as it were, than a young girl with a fine pussy who does nothing but play with her mobai. But there's room for everything here, so to each his own. You're right in that there is less BS. It's all a little bit of give and take, really.

Put me down for the "young pussy" please.

 

 

He said fine pussy, not young pussy.

Edited August 1, 2014 by Water Buffalo

[Soutpeel]

As board wisdom would have us believe, all the so-called "digital nomads" or "online workers" are young people working illegally over the internet.
 
Not every young person's a teacher on chump change

 
Maybe not all dear boy, but one suspects most, and further I guess a lot are supplementing their independently wealthy income from on line work by working as teachers for chump change as well

[ATF]

As Roland Rat said only look down on someone when you're helping them up.

[wolf5370]

 

Somsrisonphimai ... I like the stuff you write, but I always have this nagging doubt.

 

You are Thai correct?

 

Living in Thailand?

 

A Thai Woman?

 

It's just that you always talk about Thailand in the 3^rd person.

 

"it seemed the Thai society has accepted" ... wouldn't you naturally write along the lines of the first person in the style of 'our society'.

 

 

That said ... MissFarmGirl seems to be fine with me.

 

Our age differerence is known to our friends.

 

For those who are curious as to that number ... buy me a beer and heck, I'll throw in the winning Lotto numbers for next week ... 

 

 

 

I have never heard a thai use the phrase "a while back"

 

My wife does - Thai educated in the UK - lived and worked in the UK. No all Thais are uneducated or untravelled. Some learned their language skills abroad.