Have We All Just Settled For Second Best?

[bowerboy]

Every now and then I will be looking through Facebook at friends profiles from back in the real world (Australia and UK) who are in a similar position to me...same age, same schooling, married with 2 kids. When i look at the women with their good jobs that contribute to the family income and the kids going to free and good education and the clean streets and free very good healthcare and the retirement funds and the pristine beaches or forests or outdoors and the nice houses that they own in their own name and the nice parties and everyone with the same colour skin and same culture and values and speaking the same language I get a little depressed and think: Have I just settled for second best here in Thailand?

 

Dont get me wrong, i look at the scenes and the lifestyles and having been married for over 10 years to an Australian girl in my first marriage and I know it is definitely not for me and I left all that behind as it made me pretty miserable when I was part of it....BUT i cant help but think they are living life at a much better/higher level than me (I mean quality of life).

 

Does anyone else ever get that feeling?

Edited August 11, 2014 by bowerboy

[Neeranam]

Yes, from time to time but a trip back there and I remember I'm better off here. 

 

It does get irritating every now and then when some little kid sees me doing my gardening and shout some obscenities but I then remember that I believe in karma and that;s exactly what I did as a kid -  shouted obscenities at grumpy old men.

 

Australia mind you I like and go there regularly to visit my sis. never noticed everyone with the same skin colour but.

 

I don't miss the cold dark rainy/snowy days where I come from.

 

I do miss the mountains and camping, and going down to the country pubs and picking up the local wenches. Well maybe past that now.

 

I miss the golf courses and the trees, cycle tracks and white puddings.

 

 

[HooHaa]

in terms of women, many here are settling for whatever they can get. 

[PoorSucker]

No.

[daveAustin]

Yes.

[CharlieH]

No. The grass can sometimes look greener, but if thats what you wanted you wouldnt be here.

If you feel you 'settled' that says more about you and perhaps feeling like that you should be considering moving.

[pgrahmm]

No....I look at the ones that have a long and happy marriage and am genuinely happy for them...most are rutted but some still very active....didn't work out that way for me and I still have optimistic adventure coupled with a good amount of mischief left in my soul...I am happy where I am at.....personally I couldn't think of anything more boring than hanging around a Sun City with a bunch of old people with nothing more to look forward to thsn going to the golf course day after day.....the non pub crawling farangs I mostly meet have life, vitality, and adventurous I can do spirits....more of a healthy pioneer attitude than the "canned and waiting" lifestyle back home..... Edited August 11, 2014 by pgrahmm

[bowerboy]

Yeah when I was living in Sydney for 10 years prior to coming here I did think it was kind of the end of my life at that time and the adventure levels since I left have been huge for sure...

 

But still...

[bowerboy]

Kudel, in all honesty there really is truth in that....really, and that is what worries me

 

I will straight up say that even though settled down I am addicted to sex and the cheap and super easy availability of it is something I could not live without...

Edited August 11, 2014 by bowerboy

[Costas2008]

OP, I had the life, you are describing before, I came to Thailand

I can tell you that, I regret, I didn't know about Thailand when I was younger, to come and live here and enjoy life, as I do now.

No, I don't regret a bit I'm not there.

Couldn't be happier than I am now.

[pigeonjake]

im in the uk at the moment,

 

and all my freinds are doing the same things that they were doing 10 years ago, same pubs at the weekends, same boring jobs, same nagging wife,

seems to me just waiting till they pay off there mortgage and retire,

there isnt one of them that wouldnt swap lives with me, they all say im a lucky bast""d, maybe so,

 

but on the other hand there is things i miss too like you say, i loved the camping and fishing trips, i was never much of a drinker, i would leave work on a friday and go fishing for the weekend, i do miss that, yes i fish in thailand but it isnt the same,

 

so like you say OP there will be things that all of us will miss apart from family,

 

jake

[96tehtarp]

No, although I do often reevaluate. If the answer ever changes to yes, I'll consider moving.

[beachproperty]

Sorry to say Bowerboy....BUT maybe you did settle for less....you sound unhappy.

 

I, for one, though have a GREAT life here in Thailand. Why? Because I was lucky enough to marry a wonderful lady! Had a great life in America...big house on a lake, money coming in ...etc. but no partner to share it with...gets kinda lonely. Lucky for me though I met my wife (at the hospital ...NO not a doctor) here in Thailand and she did not want to move to America...so here I am in Thailand for the last 10 years. Really doesn't matter where we live as long as I'm with her.

 

Yeah, I know, kinda sounds corny. Reality is ....live for the now. Maybe some day she'll dump me and take what she can ....so be it ...I'll move on and my life will go on ...maybe a little sadder ...but for now ...I'm happy as a lark and all my friends (who are Hugely successful....money wise )  are jealous of me.

 

Life is what you make it ....work on that!

Edited August 11, 2014 by beachproperty

[pgrahmm]

Also....some of the countries we have left are not the same as what we grew up in and the changes have not been for the better.....let's face it we are free to return or live any place we desire....if we wish....

[bendywire]

I did make something of my life. Because I did I could take it easy and enjoy the fruits of my hard work. I often go back to the UK and to be honest all that happens is that I'm reminded why I decided to leave. I see my friends all struggling to get by. I see my friends all living the same lifestyles. They work to live rather than live to work. Their highlights are few and far between. So living here or in another country doesn't mean failure. It means I have achieved enough and worked my ass off to reap the rewards as I see fit.

[daveAustin]

Great holiday destination or if you're a retiree looking to score with someone your grand daughters age I guess :p
Seriously though, I'd give my left nut to have access to the supermarkets, quality of produce and choice/prices of booze. How Lotus can carry the Tesco name here I'll never know. Edited August 11, 2014 by daveAustin

[kurnell]

I'm living the dream

[Kudel]

Whats the attraction to said country?Foreign scientists have been  invited to Thailand find  a cure for ebola come on people.After reading al the reactions on the new visa hassle regulations i can only conclude about the people who burnt their bridges with home and are now getting their so called welcome shoved up their @rse.

I still have to find articals in the press or on the net where the biggest moguls of science and industry from the west have made thailand their home.

Edited August 12, 2014 by Rooo
Font

[David48]

bowerboy, I can understand your feeling but come untruths in your OP.

• and the kids going to free and good education
• and the clean streets and
• free very good healthcare
• and the retirement funds

None of that is free ... all paid for by our taxes or rates.

 

We pay income tax, the Medicare levy, GST, rates and levies.

 

Even a pension is paid by the taxes of your children as they come from recurrent revenue.

 

Remember 'Government Money' is/was your money.

.

[BKK Blues Brother]

I've hit the jackpot with my wife and kids.

The only thing that bothers me is that the kids don't look like me.

Small price to pay for a healthy, intelligent family.

[WhamBam]

im in the uk at the moment,

 

and all my freinds are doing the same things that they were doing 10 years ago, same pubs at the weekends, same boring jobs, same nagging wife,

seems to me just waiting till they pay off there mortgage and retire,

there isnt one of them that wouldnt swap lives with me, they all say im a lucky bast""d, maybe so,

 

but on the other hand there is things i miss too like you say, i loved the camping and fishing trips, i was never much of a drinker, i would leave work on a friday and go fishing for the weekend, i do miss that, yes i fish in thailand but it isnt the same,

 

so like you say OP there will be things that all of us will miss apart from family,

 

jake

 

The fresh air that comes off the sea. Variable weather. Long summer days, short winter nights. Roses and flowers blooming. Never far from the sea in The UK. Waves crashing on the shore. High cliffs, seagulls soaring. Different attitudes. Many things in the UK to be grateful for.

 

Yes, the same people doing the same humdrum things, many in the same humdrum relationships. Working, worrying about their future pensions and how to survive. Working beyond 65 years of age now for so many.

 

2nd best in Thailand? Only if you (not you personally, Jake) live the same humdrum life you had in the UK or your home country. Life itself is and can be an adventure.

 

Wherever I am I want to be a Wild Child. I am young at heart if not in body. I want new experiences too. I want a ravishing woman on my arm and in my bed. I want LIFE!!

[SoiBiker]

Women can't have good jobs in Thailand?

 

Also, you'd prefer everyone to have the same colour skin? Isn't there a word for that?

[Forethat]

bowerboy, I can understand your feeling but come untruths in your OP.

• and the kids going to free and good education
• and the clean streets and
• free very good healthcare
• and the retirement funds

None of that is free ... all paid for by our taxes or rates.

 

We pay income tax, the Medicare levy, GST, rates and levies.

 

Even a pension is paid by the taxes of your children as they come from recurrent revenue.

 

Remember 'Government Money' is/was your money.

.

Actually, I'm not overly convinced the so called "free education" is the raving success people claim it is. 30 children per class is the first problem. With that size it's impossible to offer the same kind of education offered by private schools where class size is half or even a third of the state alternative. My oldest is in a private school and it is anything but free, but scary good.

 

Clean streets? You're not talking West Bromwich and Peckham now, I presume?'

Retirement funds? There be non left when I feel like retiring. I've sorted myself out. You should too.

 

NHS, on the other hand, is a feature UK must never rid off.

 

Doesn't matter if it's Australia or UK, it all depends on what you seek in life (wherever you lay your hat) ...

Edited August 11, 2014 by Forethat

[BillyBobThai]

The attitude that one has about life is carried with them to whatever country that they happen to be living in.  It is all in what is between your ears, the scenery will change, but the rest is pretty much the same.

[robertthebruce]

Life is,what we make it, we always think the grass is greener on the other side..

I have a good life here in Thailand, but there is some things I miss, biggest thing, is, I am a Classic Car freak, I would love,to,have an old Mercedes Sports car, but here,in Thailand, it's impossible, I,would be too scared to drive it, driving is not a pleasure,here, everyday in the news, all I read about is road deaths...

Apart,from that life is,good,,

Enjoy...

[theguyfromanotherforum]

I hate to be a cynic, but in this case it's warranted.

 

How many of those Facebook happy marriages are really happy?

 

Last year before I moved to Thailand I met a woman who worked in a hospital in Canada. Good salary, husband with a good job and 3 kids, big house.... and of course plenty of Facebook photos to show their happiness. Yet that woman started making advances towards me and on the third day she blatantly said she wants to be f.%%#d by me. I tried to explain to her I am really not interested in married woman, but she was so persistent that in the end I just had to do it to get it over with :) then she became obsessed, but luckily it was my time to move to Thailand.

 

Now, I have been self employed for most of my life, so I don't really know what goes on in the office or work place. But from the stories she told me it seemed quite normal what she did since "half of the hospital staff" had broken marriages and were cheating.

 

I for one don't believe anyone who posts on facebook is really that happy. People just want to show off.... kinda like keeping up with the joneses.

 

 

 

 

[robblok]

Second best as in how roads are and how clean it is. Yes that is 100% true and if those things are important for you then your in the wrong country.

 

I come from a country where I dont like the climate, that might be different for others but for me its important. 

 

Female company is easier here but higher percentage of those are just after the money but back home the girls are not perfect either usually you got a slimmer younger one here. And if your lucky you can communicate with her too though those back home usually are better at that plus for many guys they are paying the girl while those back home bring in cash (myself I don't have that problem, I could never live with a woman who did not have her own income would never be sure if she was here for me or the money).

 

But there is no perfect country everyone knows that  you just have to be in the country with the most advantages for you.

[chris2004]

Whenever i experience a cold wet weekend in Doncaster, surrounded by immigrants who can't speak English and taxed to the hilt for everything i buy i am sooooo grateful i live in Thailand.

[Bung]

The grass is always greener on the other side......

[Albertosez]

Sometimes I really fancy a walk in the rain along a trail path with great countryside views and that doesn't have snakes. The countryside here looks great, but it's too hot to explore it here and I wouldn't really know where to go from where we live. A few more " friends " would be nice, but that is developing - I don't mean bar flies just to chew the fat with. Some of my memories of UK are very good, but recent trips back there have proved to be a disappointment, other than seeing the family and a few old mates. Yes I do miss it - sometimes- but when I am there I can't wait to get back here.......and when I am here I only miss UK a few times !
Make of that what you will.
Maybe another 10 years of hard work and I may be able to have 2nd home outside of Thailand - not sure where that would be though.