Thai funeral info

[poppysdad]

Not sure if this is correct forum for my posting but anyway.

A Thai acquaintance who I knew quite well died unexpectedly early this week and I've been invited to the funeral should I wish to go. I don't know the family at all but know some of his circle of friends very well. The funeral is on Sunday and if I do decide to go what should I expect, what should I wear, should I take anything etc or being a farang should I avoid it?

Thanks in anticipation.

[pgs]

If you are comfortable with going, go. From the ones I have been to, most will wear what they normally do although the family would probably spruce up a bit. Thai funerals can be a bit different to what westerners are use to, and just for showing up you would probably gain a little more respect with the people you know. What to take: there will be a table where you can give a donation to assist with the costs. The family will know where it came from, as your name will be recorded also. There would generally be plenty of food & drink. Like weddings, this is a 'whole hog' time.

as examples:

one of the girls in our area married a German & moved to Germany with him. When her dad died his response was along the lines of: go if you want, it's nothing to do with me.

when my MiL died, we had flights from Sydney & were on site (Chaiyaphum area) in less than 2 days.

curse you - now I'm missing mum. ( I mean it in the nicest possible way, MiL was great.)

[Aussieroaming]

In my opinion you go because you wanted too, not because you had an invite. Sorry but this is a <deleted> moment...

[David48]

Firstly, Thai Funerals are usually not just an Occasion on one day ... they are an Event over several days.

Maybe you have been invited to the 'Burn' day ... the day the body is cremated.

As for what to wear ... nothing fancy, definitely black and white, or a combination of both.

If possible, on the day, sit by, near one of your Thai friends and follow their lead.

.

[transam]

Correct Dave, no likes left.....

DON"T wear shorts and flip flops..... Sure you knew that.......... .........

[Lite Beer]

Usually a five day event.

Plenty of eating, drinking, gambling, chanting and ear splitting music.

Pretty informal and chaotic. Wear what you want. The local professional funeral goers will wear black .

Give an envelope with a couple of hundred baht in it to the person taking care of the finances.

Later all the names are read out along with how much they gave.

Be prepared to have to throw a paper flower into the open coffin before it is pushed into the fire.

This is Isaan funerals and maybe not exactly the same where you are.

Just go with the flow.

[buhi]

Usually a five day event.

Plenty of eating, drinking, gambling, chanting and ear splitting music.

Pretty informal and chaotic. Wear what you want. The local professional funeral goers will wear black .

Give an envelope with a couple of hundred baht in it to the person taking care of the finances.

Later all the names are read out along with how much they gave.

Be prepared to have to throw a paper flower into the open coffin before it is pushed into the fire.

This is Isaan funerals and maybe not exactly the same where you are.

Just go with the flow.

Wear black and white. Donate in an evelope.As warned you might have to put a paper flower next to the body; I never look.It is usually a great coming together of family and friends are highly appreciated, especially if this was a younger person. Older, then a farewell and not morbid.

My experience is Bangkok and I am always amazed at how large the extended family is.

Edited September 5, 2014 by buhi

[hotsoup]

Went to funeral a couple of weeks ago. Not all of it!! Days and days. Dress smart all black or black and white. Small

gift If you are at the burn, yes have to put a flower. I was excused most of it except for the final day which was 'unusual'! A rather motley crew of close relatives poled up on the river bank and crossed to the motor boat of the Royal Thai Marine Police, which decked out with a few flowers and joss sticks was serving as the hearse. The monk had the remains wrapped up in two old pudding cloths. When we reached the middle of the river the cloths, together with more joss sticks, flowers, a hat and a couple of bottles of Lao Kao were plopped into the river, plus some plastic bags as 'nothing was to be left behind'. Everyone went back to the house and got plastered. (PS. The hearse in my old avatar is Japanese,

not Thai)

Edited September 5, 2014 by hotsoup

[poppysdad]

Thanks for all the helpful replies everyone, it is the burn day on Sunday but couldn't help but a wry smile when a good Thai friend said to me earlier today "would you like to come to the temple with us on Sunday and watch him burn".

[Beetlejuice]

To the OP:

Going to a Thai funeral, no problem.

Many of the mourners may dress in just their everyday clothes, depends on how Hi So this mob is, but I usually wear smart casual preferably in black. I wear a black shirt, black or dark grey trousers, dark coloured socks and shoes. Don`t bother with a tie, jackets or anything like that.

If these people are only acquaintances, only need to place a 500 baht note towards the funeral costs in an envelope with your name written on it and then hand it over to whoever is collecting the monies at the funeral.

Once there you have no need to do anything or even participate if you have no wish to. They will appreciate you just being there and showing your respects, which is more than enough. Some Thai funerals may continue on for several days, but you would not be expected to go on more than 1 day or any amount of days that is convenient for you. I usually go on the last day when the body is cremated just to say my personal farewells, but you have the choice.

Only need to go and take it all in your stride.

Now, would I lie to you?

Edited September 5, 2014 by Beetlejuice

[Cuddlycat]

To the OP:

Going to a Thai funeral, no problem.

Many of the mourners may dress in just their everyday clothes, depends on how Hi So this mob is, but I usually wear smart casual preferably in black. I wear a black shirt, black or dark grey trousers, dark coloured socks and shoes. Don`t bother with a tie, jackets or anything like that.

Once there you have no need to do anything or even participate if you have no wish to. They will appreciate you just being there and showing your respects, which is more than enough. Some Thai funerals may continue on for several days, but you would not be expected to go on more than 1 day or any amount of days that is convenient for you. I usually go on the last day when the body is cremated just to say my personal farewells, but you have the choice.

Only need to go and take it all in your stride.

Now, would I lie to you?

That what I would suggest as I just arranged a funeral ceremony for my mother last week.

They won't expect anything rather than you being there. An envelope with some note to help the funeral cost will be appreciate regards to Beetlejuice's explanation. They will be too busy and try to put themselves together through the ceremony. There is nothing to worry.

Just wear black and white. No other colors then you will be fine.

Thai funeral ceremony is complicate with lots of work. I even can't recall what was going on.

Don't worry. You will be fine.

[David48]

That what I would suggest as I just arranged a funeral ceremony for my mother last week.

They won't expect anything rather than you being there. An envelope with some note to help the funeral cost will be appreciate regards to Beetlejuice's explanation. They will be too busy and try to put themselves together through the ceremony. There is nothing to worry.

Just wear black and white. No other colors then you will be fine.

Thai funeral ceremony is complicate with lots of work. I even can't recall what was going on.

Don't worry. You will be fine.

Cuddlycat ... sorry to hear for your loss ...

For the OP, I found a photo of the first Funeral I attended in Thailand showing what I and the Thai Family wore.

As many have said, including me ... black and white in various mixes, no colours.

My partners Nephew became a novice Monk to show respect as the passed relative apparently was close.

This was for the Bangkok Area ... there are, being the nature of Thailand, regional variations.

If asked, the paper flower to coffin bit is not as daunting as it sounds.

I think I personally contributed Bt 200 to my Family's envelope who then added to that.

Bt 500 would also be appropriate if you could afford it.

[khunjamesjohnson]

Last funeral I went to a lottery guy comes thru the crowd selling numbers. He had the little bike horn announcing his arrival. Honka, honka, honka.

They attendees were buying numbers. I think his age or room number or the license number of the car that ran him down. I don't know.

Pretty casual event.

Edited September 5, 2014 by khunjamesjohnson

[thairastawoman]

It's ok, you won't see him anymore, no need to go !

[BillyBobThai]

Shortly after the wife and I got together, her grandfather died. After coming back from the cremation, the wife, who at that time had limited English skills, referred to grandpa's creamation as a BBQ. We still laugh about it today.