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The Hired Help never speak with me ... is it 'Me' or 'Them' ?


David48

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If recent posts here on ThaiVisa are creditable, then there seems to be a conspiracy underway in Thailand.

I read the other day of the mysterious case of the Father-in-Law never speaking with the Western Son-in-Law.

Just now I was reading about the Sister-in-Law never speaking with the Western Man.

So, I got to thinking ... who doesn't speak to me?

The Hired Farm Help. Not only does he not speak with me, he doesn't even give me eye contact.

Now ... could it be because I suffer from 'Men Peeoow'?

I hope not ... facepalm.gif

Maybe you guys are also suffering from being neglected or rejected by someone near and dear?

Maybe we can help?

.

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David, thank you for bringing this subject up.

My problem is that in the past I used to speak to myself a lot, about everything and anything

Nowadays, I don't even dare to say a word to myself, being afraid that I will be accused of being a troll.

Everything I say, everything I write, somebody will come up and tell me I'm trolling.

I've missed my conversations with myself in the past.

Do you think there is any chance to be my old self?

PS. Am I trolling now?blink.png

Because you are not from Holland and speaking double dutch it may well be all Greek to some wink.png

Better edit this to say I have nothing whatsoever against the Dutch facepalm.gif

Edited by WhamBam
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I prefer the silence to the remarks and laughter just out of earshot.

Just yesterday as I was walking out of the field I encountered a group of Thais loading a corn truck. "They are going to say something among themselves and then laugh while looking at me," I told myself. And they did, twice. But I am pretty far out in the sticks and expect the yokels to be this way.

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Some Thai people are like this. They do not talk, they often don't listen to what you are telling. And if you persists they tell you that they thought you are talking in yourself. Most annoying! It is quite simple, kick them out and find a new help. I have several family members who are like this. They are only busy with themselves and have no interest what ever in other people.

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David, thank you for bringing this subject up.

My problem is that in the past I used to speak to myself a lot, about everything and anything

Nowadays, I don't even dare to say a word to myself, being afraid that I will be accused of being a troll.

Everything I say, everything I write, somebody will come up and tell me I'm trolling.

I've missed my conversations with myself in the past.

Do you think there is any chance to be my old self?

PS. Am I trolling now?blink.png

Taking to one's self has never been a bad sign.....It's when you start answering yourself back that it's time to sit up and take note.

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The first couple of years, my wife's mother would just laugh any time I spoke with her - - then I found out that she doesn't speak much Thai… just a combo of village and northern dialect… I have run into this w/others too… but that is the only time I have had people ignore me.

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....on topic.....with regards to a 'mae baan' that we had hired once...that I was paying for...

...she would never reply...or respond to me...

...after an argument with my wife, she finally declared, 'I told her not to'....

...with a male farm employee...don't know if it could be the same case.......maybe it's the awkwardness....like 'worlds apart'.....

....maybe whoever hired him knows that in the long run.....'It's for the better'.....???

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NO sweat - no problem - not your fault.....remember there's a multi level hierarchy here and he has you at your correct station......he murmurs to - talks to - cajoles - touches, and works with the buffalo - just not you.....rolleyes.gifcheesy.gifwai2.gif

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Many reasons.

Most common one is - they don't have anything to say, really.

Other reasons are they don't enjoy talking with foreigners - those who don't speak English assume it will be difficult to communicate. Most have had experiences of not being able to communicate with farang and assume this will be another. Many times they look at a Farang approaching and just assume that anything coming out of this guys mouth will be impossible to understand. Also, we can seem rude to them. And frankly, many farang are rude whether they know it or not.

Another issue is that culturally they are comfortable with ambiguity, and unclear situations and most foreigners are not. Hence the context for confrontation that is uncomfortable for them and often silence which is uncomfortable for foreigners.

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David, thank you for bringing this subject up.

My problem is that in the past I used to speak to myself a lot, about everything and anything

Nowadays, I don't even dare to say a word to myself, being afraid that I will be accused of being a troll.

Everything I say, everything I write, somebody will come up and tell me I'm trolling.

I've missed my conversations with myself in the past.

Do you think there is any chance to be my old self?

PS. Am I trolling now?blink.png

Most definitely a troll post Costas

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So, I got to thinking ... who doesn't speak to me? The Hired Farm Help

Possibly he's waiting until be has something worthwhile to say ... understandably not something easily understood by most Thai Visa members.

The opposite problem is people, generally complete strangers, who insist on speaking especially, but not exclusively, when there are only two of you on a lift/elevator or, far worse, only two of you standing side-by-side tending to business in a public loo.

In response in either location:

"Yes, it is hot today. I have no additional information to share on that topic at the moment, but I'll be sure to get back to you. Can't this thing go any faster"

Edited by Suradit69
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Among all these "he/she/they won't talk to me stories" I keep thinking the same thing: Maybe they have nothing to say to you. I mean, what really do you have in common with farm workers, or gf's sister? All they can say is "How are you?" and then the conversation falters. It's a lot less painful to ignore you altogether. In some sense, it's the opposite of rudeness; they are trying to cause less social awkwardness. At least that's one theory.

Yes, I believe this is the single most common underlying reason for this dynamic. They want to avoid awkwardness, and they expect farang to be awkward to deal with, so it is better to avoid it.

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Among all these "he/she/they won't talk to me stories" I keep thinking the same thing: Maybe they have nothing to say to you. I mean, what really do you have in common with farm workers, or gf's sister? All they can say is "How are you?" and then the conversation falters. It's a lot less painful to ignore you altogether. In some sense, it's the opposite of rudeness; they are trying to cause less social awkwardness. At least that's one theory.

Yes, I believe this is the single most common underlying reason for this dynamic. They want to avoid awkwardness, and they expect farang to be awkward to deal with, so it is better to avoid it.

Logical. You new here? ;)

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